


The Future Holds a Lion's Heart

by LisaMack



Series: Gimme that strange relationship Never felt pleasure and pain like this [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-21 12:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 174,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaMack/pseuds/LisaMack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Never Be The Same". Follows Season 5 from 'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid'. Rate M for scenes that might not sit well with some.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There Was a Feeling of Déjà Vu and a Feeling I Could Not Shake

_**As I was lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed that there was someone now sitting in my passenger seat. After catching a glimpse of the intruder in the corner of my eye, I reached for my chrome plated Colt 1911 9mm that I keep in the driver side door of my '67 Fathom Blue Pontiac GTO.** _

_**I turned my head and screamed, "Holy shit Castiel!"** _

_**I then took in a deep breath, replaced my gun in its hiding place and continued saying, "Geez… are you trying to kill me?"** _

" _ **No, Adelaide. I do not wish you any harm," Castiel responded in an unnervingly even tone. "I especially do not want to be the cause of your death. Dean says that I have a 'knack' for startling people upon my arrival. Please accept my sincerest apologies. Unfortunately I couldn't wait as I have something urgent to discuss with you in regards to Tobias."**_

" _ **What? About Toby?" I asked as my heart jumped into my throat. I started to feel what I thought was a panic attack coming on. "Is he hurt? Did something happen to him? Cas! Answer me dammit!"**_

_**Castiel tilted his head while regarding my reaction with a face of confusion. "No harm has come to Tobias. Are you alright?"** _

_**I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.** _

" _ **Okay Castiel, tact. Remind me to tell the boys that you are severely lacking some tact and they should teach you some soon. I swear!"**_

" _ **Again, my apologies."**_

_**I heaved a heavy sigh. "No worries. So… if Toblerone is fine, what do you urgently need to discuss about him?"** _

" _ **Toblerone? No, I did not want to talk about chocolate," he said with a truly befuddled tone.**_

_**I couldn't help but laugh a little bit out loud. "No Castiel, it's just a pet name for him. You know, kind of like how Sam and Dean call you 'Cas'?"** _

" _ **Oh," he answered still sounding as if the concept of a nickname eluded him. However, he did not allow this minor setback to discourage his quest to interrogate me about the young boy. "Why didn't you tell the Winchesters the truth about young Tobias?"**_

" _ **What?" I said while trying to laugh it off. "Why would I be dumb enough to do that? Hardly anyone outside of Kidder knows about him."**_

" _ **It may be true that his existence is not well known, but you should tell Sam and Dean that he is your son."**_

_**My phone mercifully rang and I had a brief interlude from my conversation with the angel while Sam and I made arrangements to meet for dinner. After putting the phone down, I became even more determined to put the awkward conversation I was having with Castiel to an end.** _

" _ **So, Mr. Angel, why is it so frigging important that I tell the Winchesters that Toby is my son?"**_

" _ **It is important, Adelaide, because he makes you vulnerable," he responded with a flat tone. "It is only fair that Sam and Dean be properly prepared to deal with this weakness if you are going to help them with this threat in your hometown."**_

" _ **Vulnerable? Look pal, I don't know who you think you are, but I can control my emotions! I've made it this far without blabbing to everyone that I have a kid at home waiting me…"**_

" _ **No, Adelaide, you cannot always control your emotions, especially when it comes to Tobias," Castiel interrupted while maintaining his neutral tone. "Your reaction to my question about him is proof of that."**_

 **Dammit! He might right! Did he just give me the 'I told you so' stare?** _**I thought to myself not realizing that the angel could read my thoughts.** _

_**Castiel had one eyebrow cocked as he nodded with a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.** _

_**Finally admitting my defeat, I heaved a sigh before I said, "Fine. But…" I grabbed his left hand with my right." There's no way I can do it on my own. Will you be there when I tell them? I might need back up, you know?"** _

" _ **Yes, of course I will stand beside you Adelaide."**_

_**I followed the black Impala into the parking lot of a local diner and said a silent prayer asking God to help me get through this conversation that I had avoided with most everyone at all costs since the day Toby was born.** _

" _ **Adelaide, you CAN get through this," Castiel said has he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "You will feel better after you have told them."**_

" _ **Still sucks ass though," I mumbled as we made our way to meet the brothers.**_

_**Once we were all comfortable in the booth and our meals were ordered, I swallowed hard.** _

" _ **Look guys, we need to talk," I quietly started as I watched our waitress make her way to the kitchen with our orders. I looked to Castiel for encouragement and he gave me a supportive nod. "There's something you need to know about Toby…"**_

" _ **Your 'family member'?" Dean snapped, still annoyed at how vague I had been earlier when discussing him. "What about him?"**_

" _ **Well…" Our drinks arrived and Dean took a long swig of his beer.**_

" _ **Well… he is family. In fact he's the only living blood relation that I have."**_

" _ **He's your brother?" Sam naively asked.**_

" _ **Umm… no Sam… Uhh… Well when I was younger, I kind of had a mishap… and… ummm… well after one thing led to another… well, one thing led to another…" I struggled to explain.**_

" _ **Toby's your son?" Sam mercifully interrupted in shock.**_

" _ **Here you go boys," our waitress proclaimed as she placed a meal in front of each of the Winchesters. "Are you sure I can't get you something other than a shake there, Honey?"**_

_**I shook my head and said, "No, thank you."** _

_**The boys both said, "Thanks" simultaneously.** _

" _ **You had a kid?" Dean asked as he scrunched his nose at his burger, staring at it as if it had turned rancid and sprouted maggots right before his eyes.**_

" _ **Yes," I whispered. "But I've tried to keep him hidden. You know our job. If anyone or anything found out about him, he could instantly be used as bait. I haven't really told anyone about him… not even Bobby." I continued with a slight tone of desperation.**_

" _ **How can you be away from him so often?" Sam asked cautiously.**_

" _ **My Auntie Maureen and Uncle Bill take care for him when I'm out of town. They're the closest thing to Grandparents that he's ever known. Since they were never able to have children of their own, they've helped me with him from the beginning."**_

_**I held Dean's hand under the table and to my surprise he didn't pull away.** _

" _ **I'm sorry I wasn't completely honest before," I apologized more so to him than Sam.**_

" _ **You had a baby," he said absentmindedly while still not looking at me.**_

" _ **Yeah, I did Dean. Umm… you know, it's kind of one of those things that can happen when you have sex."**_

_**After my colossal comedic failure, Dean snatched his hand back and shoved Sam while saying through a growl, "Move!"** _

_**Sam immediately complied and Dean was out the door in a flash.** _

" _ **Sorry about him," Sam offered with a beautifully apologetic tone.**_

_**I chuckled sorrowfully and said, "Please don't apologize Sam. I should have known that it would be fine for him to sleep around and that he'd pissed if I ever brought up having sex with another guy. Fuck! I'm not a freaking nun for God's sake!"** _

" _ **Slept with ANOTHER guy? You mean you… and Dean?" He asked as he gestured from myself to the door then he ran his right hand through his shaggy brown hair, completely dumbfounded.**_

 **Shit! I thought Sam knew!** _**My cheeks burned hot with embarrassment from my accidental confession.** _

_**I swallowed hard and quietly asked, "He didn't tell you?"** _

" _ **No. But he must have really cared about you. Dean only seems to brag about the bimbos."**_

_**Before I knew it, Sam had slid deeper into the booth, wrapping me into a huge bear hug. His compassionate gesture overwhelmed me so much that I allowed all of the anger and frustration that I had suppressed for so many years come out in the form of tears of relief on his shoulder.** _

_**It was out there… I had a baby boy waiting for me to return home.** _

_**As we continued on our way to Kidder, I realized it might be best to stop at the Connors for some supplies because I hadn't actually spent much time at home since Lucifer had escaped from Hell. There was no doubt in my mind that Aunt Maureen would be able to spare some supplies until I was able to go to the grocery store in the morning.** _

" _ **Hey Sam, I was hoping to stop at my Auntie Mo and Uncle Bill's place on the way, you know to check-in. It's just up the street. Umm… that's if you both are up for it." I asked as I called the younger Winchester on the phone.**_

_" ** _Yeah, no problem. Dean slept most of the way, so I think he's calmed down,"_ Sam whispered the latter bit, most likely trying to keep from waking Dean.**_

_" ** _I'm fine!"_ Dean said with a snarl annoyed that Sam and I dared to talk about him behind his back.**_

" _ **Okay, just turn right at the next driveway."**_

_**Before we got out of our vehicles, I said another silent prayer that everything would go smoothly. Once I got out, I met the brothers at the hood of their vehicle.** _

" _ **So are we all ready?" I asked with a nervous smile, biting the right corner of my bottom lip. They nodded and we turned to make our way to the rear door of the beautiful blue three story picturesque farmhouse with grey trim. Just before we reached the stairs, the screen door flew open. Suddenly a pre-teen with black spiked hair came flying down the stairs nearly knocking me over in a bear hug while he exclaimed, "MUUUUUUMMMMM!"**_

" _ **Oomph… hey Toby," I struggled to greet him since he almost completely knocked the wind out of me. "What are you doing still up Buddy?"**_

" _ **I heard you drive up and wanted to say hi. I thought you wouldn't be home until tomorrow! Did you kill those nasty vampires? You'll be at my game tomorrow, right? Who are those guys? Are they the ones that you told me about on the phone? Am I still spending the night here? Are they staying with us? Are you staying home for a while?" Toby asked rapidly without taking a breath.**_

" _ **Tobias… give the girl a chance to breathe," Maureen called warmly from the top of the stairs.**_

_**I hugged him tightly then kissed his cheek before responding, "Tobs, once my brain has caught up I'll answer all of your questions. First, yes, these are the friends I told you about last night. The tall one here is Sam." Sam quickly shook his hand with a warm smile on his face. "And this is his brother, Dean." Dean extended a hand, still utterly amazed that he was looking in the eyes of my child "And yes, I think it would be best if you spent the night here. I didn't expect you to be awake, so you sleep here tonight and I'll take you to your game tomorrow, ok Buddy?"** _

_**He nodded with a small smile on his face. Then his eyes lit up.** _

" _ **Oh my goodness! I almost forgot!" He grabbed my right hand and pulled me towards the house. "I have something I have to show you Mum! It's so awesome!"**_

_**Toby swiftly pulled me up the stairs to head into the house, completely ignoring the other two. I briefly hugged Maureen with the full knowledge that there was no stopping Toby until he showed me whatever it was that had him so excited.** _

" _ **Hey Mo," I said as I smiled apologetically.**_

" _ **Hi Sweetheart. It's okay; go ahead before he pulls our arm out of the socket."**_

" _ **Yeah, he's gotten so strong lately he just might be able to!" I chuckled before I disappeared into the house behind my son.**_

_**Maureen then turned to the other two hunters while laughing softly. "Sorry about Tobias. He just hates it when his mother is away and she has had to extend her absences on more than one occasion over the past year. I've made a fresh pot of coffee, why don't you two come on in?" She invited them warmly.** _

_**They both nodded and made their way up the stairs. Sam introduced himself then Maureen admonished Dean for not having visited us all sooner. I was standing at the counter pouring myself a cup of coffee as the boys made themselves comfortable at the table. Maureen came over to where I was standing and quickly took over hostess duties, so I found a seat beside Dean as she poured their drinks. My preference would have been to sit beside Sam, but his large frame didn't allow for a second person to sit on his side of the bench.** _

_**Maureen then placed the filled mugs in front of each brother before Sam asked, "So what did he have to show you?"** _

" _ **I really don't know. He told me to wait here and he hasn't made it back yet."**_

" _ **Mum! Mum! Check it out!" Toby exclaimed from the door.**_

_**He was proudly wearing a white baseball jersey with red piping along the seams with large stylized matching red letters saying "Red Birds" across his chest.** _

" _ **Wow! Looks great Buddy!" I whistled and praised. "Now come here so I can see the most important part…" I turned him around so I could get a good look at his back. "What's this?" I said with mock horror. "Number 2?" I scrunched my nose pretending to be appalled by this revelation. "What? Did someone already number 24? Or are you just trying to break your old mother's heart?"**_

" _ **Muuummm!" He whined. "I already told you! I wanna be like Derek Jeter, not that old fart you like."**_

" _ **Old Fart? Why I never!" I pulled him into my lap and started to tickle him. "If you're going to play first base, you should be trying to be like Tino Martinez, not Derek Cheater!"**_

" _ **Mum! Mum! Please! Stop!" He said between gasps of laughter and I released him from my grasp.**_

" _ **Ok you two. Someone has school tomorrow," Maureen asserted calmly.**_

" _ **But Nana, she just got home!" Toby objected.**_

" _ **No Buddy, Maureen's right," I said in an authoritative motherly tone. "It's way passed your bedtime. I'll drive you to your game after school and then you can tell me all about everything that I've missed, okay?"**_

" _ **Okay. Fine," he agreed through a huff as he hugged me.**_

" _ **Sweet dreams baby. I love you more than you know," I replied as I hugged him back.**_

" _ **Love you too mum. I'm so glad you're finally home. I missed you so much," he commented before kissing my cheek. "G'night Sam. G'night Dean. Thanks for helping get Mum home safe," he finished almost sadly. He didn't want to miss out on the fun he was sure that we were going to have without him.**_

_**The three of us finished drinking our coffee while catching up with Maureen. She had mixed emotions about the reason that had brought us home to Kidder so quickly, but she appeared to be overjoyed at the prospect of me staying in town for a while. She then informed me that she had restocked my house as soon as Toby told her that I was on my way home and then we left to go to my place for the night.** _

_**I retired to my room while Sam and Dean made themselves comfortable down the hall in the master bedroom. At first, they both looked at me like I was crazy because they thought that I was asking them to share a bed. I explained to them, through some laughter, that I had remodeled the room a couple of years before when we had a lot of hunters staying with us during the breaking of the 66 Seals, so they would actually have a choice of four beds in the large room instead of sharing one.** _

_**During the night, Dean woke me up from a nightmare and we were able to clear the air between us to such an extent that he spent the rest of the night in my bed. Being wrapped in his protective arms seemed to ease my mind because it was the first night in five years that I didn't wake up every hour on the hour from a nightmare. Instead I dreamt about the first time that he and I made love and was reminded of the adoration we had once shared.** _

_**The three of us then had a relaxing morning and we passed our free time during the day by watching a 'Die Hard' marathon on TV. When I got up for a short intermission, I was once again visited by the Winchesters' angel. Castiel was more than adamant that the secrets I had shared with Dean the night before may not be enough to keep me from being a liability to the brothers and that I should delve deeper into my past to share everything with him.** _

_**While I was contemplating what Castiel had brought up, Dean caught me during a daydream about the day that Toby was conceived in our pool outside.** _

" _ **What?" He asked after I had absentmindedly blurted some information as he found a seat at the table.**_

_**I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes while stating, "Toby was born in November 1998. Almost exactly nine months after our… you know… our rendezvous in the pool."** _

_**Awaiting his inevitable blow up, I looked down at the table and pulled my hands away, hugging my knees close to my body. Dean, however, got up, pulled his chair beside mine and cupped my chin in his hands, forcing me to look at him.** _

" _ **Addy? Is that your way of telling me that Toby… that he's mine?"**_

_**My bottom lip quivered, tears streamed down my cheeks and I just nodded in response.** _

" _ **Why didn't you tell me Lay? Oh my God! Why would you take that all on by yourself?" He exclaimed with pure concern in his tone as he held my hands.**_

" _ **You never came back. I figured you didn't really care and that you'd moved on to your next conquest."**_

" _ **I didn't come back because your dad threatened to kill me. I figured he found out that I was your first and was pissed about that but now considering…"**_

_**I finally looked up at him and straightened my face the best I could. "That's what you tried to tell me when I hung up on you all those times. I'm so sorry Dean. I should have let you explain…" I continued as I maintained my hold around my legs. I was unsure if I could touch him as he stared intently at his hands in his lap.** _

" _ **No… No, I should have come back. I should have known something was wrong."**_

_**He grabbed my shoulders and my feet fell to the floor as he hugged me tight.** _

" _ **Lay, I think we both messed this up big time."**_

" _ **Agreed," I said before Dean kissed my lips lightly.**_

I woke up curled in the fetal position on the king sized bed in the master bedroom of my home. I sobbed quietly at the memory that my dream wasn't even close to being a reality. Yes, Dean did know that Toby was his son. Dean and Sam had been instrumental in rescuing the young boy when he had been kidnapped by a vampire and his demon girlfriend just a few months ago. Toby, however, was still unaware of the true identity of his biological parents. If Toby did know the truth, then maybe I would still have one person I loved still talking to me.

I wiped my face on the bottom of the grey men's t-shirt I had conveniently forgotten to put back in Dean's duffle bag during his last visit and pushed the comforter off my legs. Like it or not, I had to get out of bed and face the day.


	2. You Were a Million Miles Away

**********************************************************  **THE DAY BEFORE** ****************************************************************

During the twilight of the night, I was cruising down the empty highway singing along with Placebo's 'Running Up That Hill'. I chuckled at the lyrics as I thought to myself, _If_ _ **I**_ _only could make a deal with God and swap our places._

While I was thinking about the changes the past few months had brought to my life, good and bad, a large green sign with white lettering announced that Sioux Falls was only fifteen miles away. The Winchesters and I had made a pact with each other that we would check in on Bobby more frequently since the "incident" with his wife. Once I was closer to the long dirt driveway lined with rusted out, decaying cars of all shapes and sizes that sat just beyond a sign that said "Singer Salvage Yard", I pulled our my cell phone.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey Bobby! So, I was thinking… I'm going to be close to Sioux Falls and was wondering… umm how would you like some company?"

" _Oh Koala Bear, I'd love to see you! Actually there's something that I need to talk to you about… but it can wait until you get here. How's Maureen doing?"_

"She's doing as well as can be expected. Bill called a couple of days ago to say that she could be headed back to the hospital any day now, so I'm actually heading home to help him out."

" _I'm so sorry to hear that. This couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Any word on…"_

Bobby cut himself off when he heard a knock at the door.

" _Sorry Koala Bear, someone's at the door. Could you hold for a moment while I see who it is?"_

"Sure Bobby, no worries," I answered coolly.

Bobby rolled around from behind his desk and maneuvered his way through the study towards the front door with his cordless phone in his lap. When he opened the door, I had already put my phone away so that I could immediately lean in to wrap him in a hug.

"Surprise!" I exclaimed as I held him tightly.

"Addy! It's so good to see you! Come on in here," he replied as a welcome while rolling back into the house and pointing towards his study. "Go make yourself comfortable and I'll grab you a drink."

"Thanks Bobby."

I walked into the cluttered study, but instead of sitting down on the couch while I awaited Bobby's return, I wandered over to his desk. I started to look at all of the books that he had out and no doubt had been pouring over every waking hour of his day. First, I found more than one Bible that looked almost as old as the text itself. There was one that appeared to be in Aramaic, so beside it was a dictionary to help with translations. I was just looking over a few more volumes that described each of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse along with a variety of rituals that they could either perform or participate in when Bobby came back. He interrupted my nosey expedition by handing me a cold beer over the book I was reading.

I chuckled as I took the bottle and placed the book back on the pile where I had found it. After taking a drink, I looked over at him and asked, "Just a little light reading Bobby?"

"Well I figured that if I could find out as much as possible, then maybe…"

"Bobby, I was just teasing you," I interrupted tenderly. "Of course you're in full research mode right now. Sam and Dean are lucky to have you in their corner right now helping them."

I took another long drink from the bottle while still standing by Bobby's desk. I had been on the road for nearly forty-eight hours straight, only stopping to gas up and catch a minimal amount of sleep. Since Bill's call, I had been desperately trying to get home as soon as I possibly could and I had missed the bitter taste of the frothy amber liquid.

While I was savoring my drink, one of Bobby's books caught my eye. I placed the beer bottle on a small crack of empty space on the desk to pick up the text for a closer inspection.

"Heaven?" I held the book up to show Bobby the offending text. "Why are you trying to find a way to bust someone out of Heaven? Isn't that where we WANT people to go?" I asked with a slight tone of amusement.

Bobby's face immediately darkened and his eyes glistened with tears that formed at their edges as he answered, "Adelaide, it would probably be best if you sat down before I explain to you why I have those books out."

I knew that anytime someone, other than Maureen or Castiel, used my full give name, it usually meant that they had something unpleasant to tell me. I swallowed hard and nodded before I quietly found a place on the couch close to where Bobby was stationed in his wheelchair. I tried to calm my nerves by taking a few slow, deep breaths, but my stomach still felt like someone was squeezing it tightly in their fist.

Bobby liberated the book from my death grip and placed it on the arm of the couch so that he could take my hands in his as he started to explain tentatively, "Adelaide… sweetheart, I don't know how to tell you this, but… it's… Koala Bear, it's the boys…"

"No… Bobby, no," I interrupted desperately. "No, I just got him back. Please? No… it can't be…"

At that moment in time, I was too stunned to cry, but a few tears slipped out of Bobby's eyes as he continued, "Castiel is convinced that we'll be able to get them back, but I'm still trying to find a backup plan just in case he's wrong."

"What? How? I don't understand Bobby. How are Sam and Dean going to get out of Heaven? More importantly, how did they get there in the first place?"

"The Winchesters were caught off guard in their motel room by some fellow hunters," Castiel's hauntingly serene monotone answered.

"Oh God… they were mur…" I clung to Bobby's hand as if my life depended on it, but I couldn't bring myself to finish the thought.

"It's the easiest way to get into Heaven," Castiel clarified as he sat down beside me on the couch with his hands folded in his lap.

Still holding tightly to Bobby's hand, I turned my head to face the hunter and said, "Bobby, I don't think I'll be making it home tonight. Do you maybe have something stronger than a beer to help settle a girl's frazzled nerves?"

He gave me a weak smile and patted my hands. "Sure Koala Bear," he replied before turning to go into the kitchen to fill my order.

I then turned to face Castiel and took his hand in mine, which forced him out of his pensive stare.

"Are you certain we can get them back, Castiel?" I asked while trying my best to keep from giving in to my emotions.

Bobby had already returned with a tumbler of Wild Turkey on the rocks, but he placed it on the side table to my right when he saw that I was clutching the angel's hands tightly. Castiel was just starting to open his mouth to reply to my question when I felt my phone vibrate. I jumped up off the couch as I swiftly pulled it out of my back pocket.

"I' m so sorry, but I HAVE to take this," I apologized as I started out of the room, still staring at my phone.

After my brief conversation, I returned to the study with the tears that I had so bravely been hold back no streaming down my cheeks.

"Addy? What is it? What's wrong, Koala Bear?" Bobby asked as he gently guided me back to my spot on the couch beside Castiel.

I was momentarily too stunned to speak as my eyes remained fixed on my phone until I was able to once again form coherent sentences.

"It's Maureen… they had to rush her to the hospital. The doctors say that she'll have to stay there until a transplant becomes available… if one becomes available."

"Oh Addy, I'm so sorry to hear that. What can I do to help?" Bobby asked as he gave my knee a reassuring squeeze.

I rubbed my chin and cheeks on each shoulder to dry off some of my tears before replying almost absentmindedly, "I need to get home… I need to help Bill…"

The sight of Bobby nodding his head took me out of my near trance-like state. "Bobby, you and Cas… you guys keep working on getting them back, okay? I wish I could help but I really…"

"Have to get home," Bobby finished for me with a supportive smile. "My number one priority is getting those boys back, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to call, alright? And I mean ANYTHING young lady."

"I will… I will… and you keep me up to date too. Once I get Toby settled, I'll do whatever I can to help. Oh… and I dipped into your caffeine stash, hope you don't mind," I finished as I presented a bottle of Coke and cracked it open.

"Are you certain that you are okay to travel alone?" Castiel inquired with a caring concerned tone as he watched my right hand shake while I took a drink.

When I saw the extremely worried looks in both of their eyes, I could feel my stomach tighten again, so I answered him more honestly than I normally would.

"Not just yet, but I will be… I HAVE to be. Bill needs my help right now and that's all that matters so I have to be."

"You just take your time, Beautiful. They may need you back at home, but they need you to get there safe and sound, you hear?" Bobby cautioned affectionately.

As we talked, Castiel suddenly sat up slightly more erect and rigid than he had been previously. He then tilted his head to one side, almost as if he was trying to hear a voice somewhere off in the distance.

"Adelaide… Bobby… I should leave, but if you need me to stay…" The angel started to explain.

I patted his thigh and cut him off saying, "No Castiel, you go. I appreciate the offer, but I think I'm almost ready to head out. Please, go take care of whatever it is that you are needed for."

I then got up and hugged Bobby as he asked, "Are you sure that you're okay to go? I'm sure Bill will understand if you don't get in until tomorrow."

While gripping the arms of his wheelchair, I held Bobby's eyes in a steadfast gaze. "I'm not 100%, but I promise I'm okay to drive. I'll call and check in, say… every fifty miles?"

He tilted his head to the side, smirked and narrowed his eyes slightly before saying, "Make it every forty miles and you have yourself a deal."

I couldn't help but chuckle to which Bobby responded as he caressed my cheek with his hand, "Now there's that beautiful smile. You drive safe and give my best to the family. And if you need…"

"Anything," I finished for him. "I'll call. I promise Bobby."

By this time Castiel had stood up and when I straightened up from saying my goodbye to Bobby, he wrapped me in a stiff, somewhat uncomfortable hug with my arms pinned to my side and my face pressed into his chest.

"Mmphf Cas…"

"Please drive safe Adelaide," he said with more than a hint of genuine concern in his tone.

He released me from his firm embrace as soon as he completed his statement of caution. My smile grew even wider at my amazement that the angel had seemingly learned such a human way of showing comfort so effortlessly.

I then quickly said another goodbye to each of them and made my way to my car to continue my previous course homeward bound.

Before Castiel could disappear to wherever it was the he felt he was needed, Bobby grasped his right hand tightly. The unexpected physical contact cause the angel to look down at the seasoned hunter with eyebrows furrowed in an expression of pure confusion.

"Now Castiel, I haven't asked you for anything since we found out that you couldn't heal me, but I'm asking now… you look out for that girl, you hear?" Bobby stated firmly.

"We both know how headstrong Adelaide can be Bobby, but I will do my best to keep a watchful eye on her," Castiel promised.

Bobby was barely able to say a "Thanks Cas" before the angel finally disappeared.

True to my word, I made sure to hit the "B" key on my Blackberry Curve to speed dial Bobby every forty miles on the nose. When my third call came into him just over an hour after I left Sioux Falls, Bobby once again not so gently reminded me that I was no good to my family if I didn't make it home alive.

"Bobby I'm being safe, promise. It's just that there's been absolutely no traffic out tonight, so I've been able to make really good time," I lied as I swerved around yet another pickup truck that was moving way too slowly for my liking. "I'll call you when I get to the hospital."

I hung up before he could say anything and tried to convince myself that I wasn't spreading myself too thin. Those attempts failed because I felt a small ball of guilt forming in the pit of my stomach yet again. I knew that Bobby had enough to worry about and I didn't want or mean to be the cause of any more concern for him. I felt even worse when I thought about everything that had been happening in our lives lately, but pushed those thoughts aside for now.

I turned into the parking lot of the hospital after completing my journey in record time and nearly sprinted in through the main entrance. Once the heavily tinted glass double doors closed behind me, I followed the signs to the "Nurse's Station", hoping that they could point me in the direction of Maureen's room. Although instead of a busy center of activity, I just found an empty desk.

I stood there nervously for a minute and then drummed the counter top while looking for any sign of life. After what felt like an eternity, I had yet to see anyone else, so I pulled my phone out and called Bill for Maureen's room number.

"Perfect, thanks Bill. I'll see you in two minutes," I replied as I made my way to the stairs.

I took each flight of stairs two at a time until I reached the landing with a black sign with white lettering that stated "3N". I caught my breath at the large cream colored door and pulled it open. I then nearly sprinted down the hallway until I saw two gangly legs seated in front of an open door that I knew belonged to Toby.

"Hey Buddy, how are you holding up?" I asked breathlessly as I squeezed his knee.

"Fine," he snapped angrily as he swiftly moved his knees away from my hands.

I was completely taken aback by Toby's reaction because we had always been close, like we were brother and sister despite the large age gap between us, and he had never talked to me in such a tone before.

"You okay Tobs?" I asked while clenching my fists at my sides so that I wouldn't make the mistake of touching him again.

"Fine," he responded through a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest with his head bowed to continue studying his feet.

"Adelaide? You're here already?" Bill asked in amazement as I turned to give him a hug.

"I made good time," I answered simply. "How's Maureen?" I asked as he led me into her room.

"Stable… sleeping," he responded as he looked down at his wife lovingly with tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

Maureen was sound asleep with a variety of tubes and wires running from her arms and chest to machines that blinked and beeped. Her face looked very serene, masking the pain we all knew she had been feeling over the past few months.

"And Toby? How's he holding up?"

Bill's eyes remained fixed on Maureen and he shoved his hands deeply into his pocket. "He's not so good. He knows Addy… he knows that we're not his parents."

I rushed to his side and grasped his arm while asking quietly, "How? How'd he find out?"

I quickly checked over my shoulder, but thankfully it didn't appear that Toby was paying any attention to us.

"There was a new doctor… he was checking something in Maureen's medical history when Toby started asking him a bunch of questions about her condition. You know how he is, always has a million questions," Bill sighed dejectedly with a small, proud smile on his face. "The doctor then asked Toby how he knew Maureen and Toby answered that she was his mother. I don't think that the doctor meant to tell him, but he checked over Maureen's records again and informed Toby that there was nothing in her medical history that indicated that she had carried a baby full-term. The poor doctor… he rushed to find me immediately after he saw how horribly Toby took the news so that he could apologize…"

"Oh Bill… I'm so sorry. He shouldn't have found out that way. So…" I swallowed hard and looked back at the pre-teen. "He's not really taking it that well, huh?"

"No. I don't think he's said more than two words to me since… he's really upset with you too. He seemed to instinctively know that you knew the truth too. Maureen does seem to be immune to his wrath right now… I should have warned you," he explained as his voice broke a little bit more with every word.

"Don't worry about me Bill. I've faced things much worse than an angry pre-teen," I replied attempting to console him and lighten the mood.

"Addy… I'm…"

"Bill, really it's okay. He's probably completely exhausted too… I'll take him back to my place then he'll sleep and maybe tomorrow will be better," I continued as I held him in a half hug.

"Addy I just don't even know how to thank you," he said as he hugged me back and kissed my head.

"You're family, Bill, so no thanks are needed. I'll take him now, but you call if you need me to bring you anything tomorrow when we come to visit."

I squeezed him tightly in our warm embrace and he nodded while saying "Thanks" once again. I then slipped out the door and closed it behind me after I exited.

"Tobs… Buddy? Are you ready to head out? I'm gonna take you back to my place, alright?" I asked tentatively.

"I'm not your 'Buddy'," he retorted viciously without looking at me.

I felt tears spring up into my eyes, but I forced them back with a deep breath and a shake of my head.

"Okay… Toby… grab your bag and let's get going. It's way past your bedtime," I instructed as strongly as I could while fighting back my tears and maintaining a somewhat calm demeanor.

"Fine," he huffed once again as he picked up his baseball style duffle bag and headed for the stairs.

I watched his back was he walked away and shook my head, not recognizing the boy in front of me. By the time I got to the door of the stairwell, Toby had already made it to the landing one floor down. I finally managed to catch up to him while he was waiting by the trunk of my car.

"Just toss it in the back seat. I didn't get a chance to clean up the trunk after my last job," I said as lightheartedly as I could at that point in time.

Without saying a word, Toby opened the rear passenger door and literally threw his bag into the back seat with as much force as he could muster. I really wanted to admonish him for deliberately trying to damage the interior of my car, but I bit my tongue choosing to pick my battles at the moment so that we could maintain some peace between us.

He then dumped his weight into the passenger seat and slammed his door shut. I jumped a little at the noise and again remained silent as I started the car. Jewel's voice piped through the speakers as her song "Hands" began to play. Toby and I had shared a mutual love of the song during his youth and when his left hand shot out to rapidly turn it off, I was once again utterly surprised and instantly felt so heart-sick I thought I might actually vomit.

We then rode in complete silence to my house and much like Sam had done on our ride back from the convent months ago, I drove as quickly as I could to complete the uncomfortable journey. As soon as the car was stopped by my backdoor, Toby got out, grabbed his bag and he swiftly moved up the stairs into the house. I remained behind the wheel and watched him completely bewildered at his current attitude. Once he was through the backdoor, I slowly extracted myself from my vehicle and followed his path into the house. As I locked the backdoor I heard Toby slam his bedroom door and my steely demeanor finally broke.

Silent tears were streaming down my face as I made my way slowly up the stairs to go to bed. I stopped at the closed door of my old bedroom and contemplated whether or not I should knock and say good night to Toby. I halted my hand mid-air and changed my mind before continuing to the master bedroom.

When Maureen first got sick, Toby had started to stay with me more frequently and he had been the one who had suggested the room change. He reasoned that it would be more comfortable for me to be in the master bedroom when Dean came to visit and I wasn't inclined to argue with his logic once I had heard him explain it fully. Toby had had a lot of fun planning the changes for his new room and we had bonded even more over the weekends we spent painting and redecorating it before moving him into his new room.

I retreated to my room and sat on my bed as I allowed the tears to flow out of my eyes. Without even thinking about it, I dialed my most precious confidant to talk to them about what had happened, but I unfortunately only reached their voice mail.

"Hey… it's just me. I really needed someone to talk to about Toby. He just found out… Shit… you won't get this. Dammit! How'd I forget? Oh God, Dean, I miss you so much and really wish you were here right now. You won't actually get this, but…but…  oh fuck… I love you."

I quickly hit end and stared at my phone before defiantly throwing it onto the floor. Dean was gone, Maureen was dying, Bill was by her side and Bobby was struggling to find a way to save the Winchesters and now I just felt completely alone for the first time in my life.

After a few more minutes of crying and feeling sorry for myself, I got up to get ready to go to sleep. I dug deep into my drawers to find my favorite t-shirt of Dean's that I had "borrowed" without his knowledge during his last visit.

I held the grey cotton shirt lovingly to my face and breathed in his scent. I was amazed that his musk still clung to the fibers after all this time. I then changed into it and a pair of boxers and crawled under my comforter to try to drift off to sleep.


	3. No Silicon Chip Could Sublimate or Tame this Temptuous Rage

I woke up curled in the fetal position on the King sized bed in my new room. I stayed there for a moment as I sobbed quietly as I recalled that my dream from the night before wasn't even close to being a reality. Yes, it was true that Dean knew that Toby was his son and had been instrumental in rescuing him when Toby had been kidnapped by a vampire and his demon girlfriend. Toby however was still unaware of the true identity of his biological parents. Since Dean was now in Heaven, if Toby did know the truth, then maybe I would have one person I loved still talking to me.

I wiped my face on the bottom of the grey men's t-shirt that I had conveniently forgotten to put back into Dean's duffle bag during his last visit. After taking a deep breath, I pushed the comforter off my legs. Whether I liked it or not, I had to get up and face whatever lay ahead of me today.

After changing into my new "uniform" of black yoga pants and black hooded sweatshirt I started down the hallway to go downstairs. As I passed Toby's room, I noticed that the door was open and his room was empty. I poked my head in to check on the state of the room and was pleasantly surprised to see that it appeared that he had put his clothes into the dresser and had also made his bed.

When I got downstairs, I could hear the TV was on in the den, but the sound was too low for me to hear what Toby was watching. The whole main floor was filled with the welcoming aroma of fresh brewed coffee, so I made the kitchen my first stop of the day. I poured myself a mug of coffee (with just a touch of cream) and checked to see what Toby was doing in the den.

"When did you start drinking coffee Tobs? It's really good," I asked lightheartedly hoping that his foul mood had improved with a good night's sleep.

"I didn't," he answered sharply without taking his eyes off the computer screen where he was seated. "The Kwimpers came by and Mr. Kwimper made the coffee."

"Oh… okay. Are you hungry? I can make breakfast if you wanted. I think I have everything to make waffles," I asked optimistically knowing that was his favorite breakfast meal.

"Not hungry… Mrs. Kwimper brought a casserole so I've already eaten LUNCH," he answered with a tone of indignation.

 _Lunch?_ I thought to myself as I looked at the large flat screen TV. The weather channel was showing the animated path of a storm front that was moving from Minnesota into Ontario and the clock in the bottom right hand corner announced that it was just slightly after 1:30pm.

"Oh, I didn't realize I had slept so late," I replied softly. When his eyes remained fixed on the computer's monitor, I took it as an indication that he really didn't care that I had over slept nor did he care about any of my plans for the day.

"Have you talked to Dean lately?" He suddenly questioned abrasively.

I swallowed hard before answering quietly, "No, but I talked to Bobby and they're… umm they're on a case and will be out of cell range for a while."

"Oh," Toby retorted sounding less than impressed.

I stood in the den awkwardly for a moment. When it appeared that there was little chance for any further conversation, I then pulled a random novel off a shelf and said, "Well… I'll just be in the living room reading, okay? So… umm if you need anything, I'm just…"

"In the living room. Yeah I heard you the first time," Toby interrupted without attempting to hide his irritation.

I backed out of the den, coffee and book in hand and retreated to the kitchen. I wasn't feeling very hungry, but I still grabbed one of the homemade buns that Holly Kwimper had brought over during their visit. While standing at the island I took a sip from my coffee mug and looked out into the back yard. Storm clouds had rolled in overnight and rain was starting to fall.

 _Well at least the weather matches my mood today,_ I thought to myself as I retired to the living room to read.

Once I was settled on the couch under an oversized fleece blanket, I flipped tot the title page of the hard cover novel. When I read the bold letters saying "SAHARA", I felt a hitch develop in my throat. Toby was going to read "SAHARA" this summer and then we were going to watch the movie of the same name together for the first time. I had been a fan of Clive Cussler since high school and Toby had wanted to find out for himself why I appreciated his writing so much. Now I had a sinking feeling that his sentiments may have changed drastically.

I wiped away yet another tear of hurt and regret before diving into the first chapter of the book, making it the fifth or sixth time I was reading this particular story. As I turned over page after page, none of the words seemed to really be registering in my brain. If I hadn't read this story line so many times, I probably would have been completely lost trying to figure out where Dirk and Al were during this desert adventure.

In my current frame of mind, it didn't take much to distract my concentration from the tiny black font on the page. I could hear that Toby had gone into the kitchen and the sound of him opening the fridge made me shift my attention so that I was trying to listen to what he was doing.

I heard a CLINK, which I assumed was Toby putting a glass on the hard counter top of the island and then I heard him exclaim, "NO WAY! They're here! YES! Sam and Dean are here! AWESOME!"

It took more than a couple of seconds for his words to sink in and I was momentarily too stunned to respond. By the time my brain had caught up with the situation, I had slowly made my way into the kitchen. I stood by the breakfast nook and watched Toby greet each Winchester by the Impala during a pleasant break in the clouds and rain.

I watched the three of them through the window as if they were playing out a scene from a new series on television and remained completely transfixed. Sam caught a glimpse of me at the window and waved cheerfully before meeting Toby at the trunk to retrieve their bags. Sam heaved a duffle bag over his shoulder and Toby lifted out a second one. As Toby passed Dean, the older man tried to take the bag from the younger boy, but was waved off as Toby led the way into the house.

"…oh and I have something I have GOT to show you Sam!" Toby was nearly shouting over his shoulder with excitement as he entered the kitchen.

"Sure Toby sounds good… and yeah, I'll tell you all about it later, no problem," Sam replied looking somewhat overwhelmed by Toby's end of the conversation. "Hey Addy," he directed at me with a small tentative smile.

I stared at him for a moment, completely immobile.

"Hey Sam," I replied sounding much more nonchalant than I felt at this exact moment in time.

After simply smiling at each other for some time, we each took a couple of steps towards each other and I was quickly wrapped in Sam's arms.

"Oh THANK GOD! You're back!" I cried out as I squeezed him tightly. "It's so good to see you."

He looked down at me and wiped the lone tear that fell down my cheek.

"It's good to see you too," he responded softly.

"But I don't know how much God had much to do with it," Dean's voice countered with slight disdain from the back door.

I sidestepped around Sam to look at his brother in the flesh for myself.

"Well thank… well I don't care who. You two are back and that's all the matters," I retorted as tears of relief overtook me.

"Lay…" Dean responded as he pulled me into his arms. "Shh… it's okay. We're here. Please don't cry."

"I'll take your bag to your room for you Dean," Toby announced without trying to hide his distaste for the reunion that he was witnessing in between me and the older Winchester.

"I'll go with you Toby," Sam offered as he gently guided the younger male out of the kitchen into the living room.

I sniffled back my tears and looked up at Dean before saying, "I was so scared. If you ever die on me like that again Winchester, I swear… I'll… I'll hunt you down myself… in heaven or hell and… and…"

He laughed then pulled my lips to his in order to silence my idle threats.

"I'm so sorry Lay… I'll try to keep from being killed again," he apologized lightheartedly.

"Good because I don't know if I could handle it again," I replied with a half smile. "Oh shit! Does Bobby know you're back? Oh… and Castiel? Because they were…"

"Yes, yes they know" he interrupted while pushing my hair out of my face and caressing my cheek. "We called Bobby and Cas was at the hotel when we got back. We were going to head over to Bobby's, but then I heard your voicemail, so I wanted to make this our first stop."

"Oh… that…" I replied biting my bottom lip and looking down at my feet sheepishly.

Dean lifted my chin gently forcing me into making eye contact with him.

"There was something about Toby?" He asked quietly.

I chewed my bottom lip and nodded as more tears started to fall.

"…but she's stable now the doctors say. Hey! Maybe you could take me to the hospital later to visit her. What do you think, Sam?" Toby was asking as he reentered the room.

I didn't want Toby to see me crying, so I quickly turned my face and body away from the doorway and Dean pressed me closer to him in a loving hug.

"Everything okay?" Sam silently mouthed to his brother.

Dean shook his head and rubbed my back in an effort to provide me some comfort.

Sam offered a sad smile as consolation then turned to Toby saying, "Hey Toby, you said you had something to show me? Why don't you do that now?"

"Really? Okay… yeah, follow me this way Sam!" Toby exclaimed as he pulled Sam's arm in the direction of the den.

"Lay… are you going to be alright?" Dean questioned delicately into my ear while my face was still pressed against his shoulder.

"Yeah… I'll be okay…" I replied weakly as I extracted myself from his arms. After I wiped my face on the sleeves of my sweatshirt, I continued still quite faintly, "Why don't we go in the living room and talk?"

Dean nodded as his response as he followed me, hand in hand, to the couch in the adjoining room. I sat down cross legged on one end of the couch with my back against its arm and Dean sat down beside me. Once I was settled, he held my hands as I wrung them nervously in my lap. I could tell that he really wanted to start asking me questions about everything that was bothering me, but he was respectful enough to allow me to take my time in explaining it to him.

I was staring down at our hands intensely when I started timidly, "Toby knows… he knows that Bill and Maureen aren't his parents… and now he's not talking to Bill and me. But… he is still talking to Maureen and I can only assume that it's because of her current condition…"

"He knows? How… how did he find out?" Dean asked while sounding both confused and concerned.

I still avoided eye contact and started to examine Dean's fingers intently while I responded, "The worst possible way. Some stranger, a doctor, inadvertently blurted it out to him while looking over Maureen's medical history. He didn't know about Toby being Bill and Maureen's son and the doctor told him that Mo had never… had never given birth to a child." I finished by pinching the bridge of my nose as I felt a tension headache coming on.

"Oh man… that's horrible. I'm sorry he found out that way," Dean replied while wrapping an arm around my shoulders to pull me closer to him.

"Yeah… me too… But it's funny, you know, because in my mind he's always been their son, so I never actually gave any thought to the day that he might find out the truth and now…"

I straightened my legs across Dean's lap and cuddled into his side. Dean stroked my hair as he placed my head on his right shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do?" Dean asked quietly against my forehead before placing a soft kiss on my head.

"No, not really," I answered while shaking my head slowly against his shoulder. "He's probably still processing, so I'm thinking he just needs us to give him time, you know?" I paused to compose myself and played with a button on Dean's shirt, still missing his pendant that I had always thumbed as a distraction during our heart to hearts. "Although… he doesn't seem to be freezing you or Sam out, so… if he comes to you…" My voice broke again and my words got caught in a tearful lump in my throat.

"I'll be there to listen, I promise Lay," Dean replied while squeezing me tighter into his side.

"Thanks Dean," I choked out while hugging him back. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent, letting the fact that he was in fact alive sink in. After doing so, I shook slightly as I laughed to myself.

"You okay there Lay?" Dean questioned sounding slightly apprehensive and mystified.

I laughed softly then sat up straighter so that I could look him in the eye.

"I was going to ask you how heaven was and then it hit me how absurd it was that I COULD ask you that. I mean, really… how many people get the chance to ask someone who has actually been to heaven what it's like? Sorry… I know… I'm nuts."

Dean smirked slightly and then the expression on his face shifted to one of deep sadness.

"Dean? What's wrong?" I asked worriedly with every muscle stiffening under my skin.

He held my face and ran his right thumb over my lips as he shook his head. I could feel my eyebrows turn downwards as my face started to contort to show my utter confusion.

"It's nothing Lay. It… it just turns out that heaven really is whatever you want it to be and… well it's probably better if you don't get a glimpse of someone else's version of paradise," he explained while smiling trying to dismiss my concerns. "Really… I'll be okay… especially now that I've seen you again."

He leaned down and placed a beautifully tender kiss on my lips. I relented completely and gave into his embraces as I leaned back on the couch and pulled him down on top of me. Neither Dean nor I attempted to take this any further than the loving contact of our lips, which suited me just fine.

_GUUUURRRRR!_

I laughed into Dean's mouth then he leaned back and looked down at me undeniably smirking. He then laid down and placed his head beside mine as we both burst into a fit of laughter.

I playfully pinched his stomach and asked through my giggling," Umm… so Dean… are you hungry?"

"Sorry Lay… we came straight here after I heard your voicemail. I guess I forgot to eat," Dean rationalized while looking down at me with a loving smile and petting my cheek.

I raised myself up off the couch to place a soft peck on his lips and grinned.

"Well why don't I get dinner started then? I can't have a starving Dean Winchester on my hands, now can I?"

Dean leaned down to place another soft kiss on my lips and then he eased himself off of the couch. Then before I could roll off the cushions, Dean extended a hand to help me up.

Once I was on my feet, I pulled him into another tight hug.

"Lay?" Dean started to question.

"Sorry. I was still just afraid that you're not here… not really. I all of the sudden had a feeling that I was going to wake up and that this was going to just be an amazingly beautiful dream," I clarified as I looked up at Dean with a warm, sad smile.

"I'm here Lay… I'm really here," he reassured me before giving me another soft kiss. "Now… where's my dinner woman?" He joked trying to sound like a dad from a 50s sitcom.

I chuckled and punched his right arm lightly. "Okay, I'll go start it. But… I should go and check in on Toby…"

I started towards the den and Dean suddenly grabbed my hand.

"Dean! What…"

"Whoa! I didn't mean to startle you… I just thought I would join you while you check on Toby. But only if that's okay with you," Dean clarified humbly.

"Oh… thanks. I would like some back up," I replied somewhat shamefully.

We then continued into the den with our hands seemingly welded together. We found Sam and Toby in front of the computer looking over some document on the screen attentively. Toby was the first to hear us enter the room and immediately minimized the screen while looking at the two of us which caused Sam to utter in a confused tone, "Hey! Toby I wasn't done reading that."

"It's okay Sam, it can wait," the younger male answered shortly while jutting his chin in the direction of the doorway where Dean and I stood kind of awkwardly.

Sam looked up and flashed his signature warm, loving smile saying, "Oh… hey guys! Toby was just…"

"SAM! It can wait!" Toby admonished the older man angrily.

"Oh… okay. Sorry Toby," Sam apologized while giving Dean and me an 'I don't know what just happened there' look with a shrug.

Sam may not have understood Toby's reaction, but I knew that I was the reason why the information Sam and Toby were reading was not allowed to be shared right now. I bit my lip and swallowed hard trying to keep my composure from breaking. Toby had already refocused his attention back to something else on the computer screen, so he missed the non-verbal exchange between the three of us.

"I just wanted to let you guys know that I was going to start dinner. Umm… I think that there's a lasagna in the freezer that the Nolan's brought by earlier… " I trailed off because I could feel my voice about to break the longer I watched Toby ignore me.

"That sounds good to me Lay," Dean replied contentedly while giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. He then shot Sam a "Help me out here Bro" nod in the direction of the brooding pre-teen.

"Oh… yeah… that does sound good Addy," Sam continued in a confused tone towards Dean and me. He then awkwardly turned his attention to Toby and asked, "How 'bout you Toby? Sound good?"

"Mrs. Nolan does make good lasagna," Toby replied pleasantly to Sam's question, nodding while still focused on the computer screen.

"Do you need any help Addy?" Sam asked as he started to get up out of his chair.

"No, that's alright, but thanks Sam. I've got the prep under control… you boys just relax and I'll call you when dinner's ready." I then turned to Dean, kissed his cheek and quietly ordered, "Go… I've got dinner covered."

"Okay… if you're sure…" Dean answered uncertainly.

"I'm more than certain. Promise… It's…"

"Dean! You should check this out too!" Toby called out again without looking up.

I shook my head forlornly and turn to go into the kitchen as Dean replied (while still watching me walk away) "Oh yeah? What's that Buddy?"

I couldn't make out anything that they were discussing and researching while I prepared our meal. I tried to keep Toby's secretive behavior out of my thoughts by reasoning with myself that Sam and Dean would fill me in on the details later tonight.

I was putting the finishing touches on a salad when the timer sounded on the oven announcing that the lasagna was near completion. As I turned to pull the hot pasta dish out, I heard someone pulling plates out of the cupboard. We both reached the island at the same time and I gasped quietly at my surprise of seeing who was helping me.

"Thanks Tobs," I managed to say just over a whisper.

Toby continued to ignore me and moved to the fridge. While it was open, he called out, "Sam! Dean! Do you guys want a cold beer? I think dinner's ready!"

The Winchester Brothers entered the kitchen at near warp speed at the announcement of potential food. I had already cut the lasagna in its dish along with some garlic bread, so I was opening a bottle of red wine while they both removed the caps off the bottles Toby had handed each of them.

"Everything smells so great. Thank you so much Addy," Sam said as he dished his meal.

I was taking a drink from my wine glass when Toby retorted quietly, "It's Bernice Nolan you SHOULD be thanking Sam."

I put my wine glass down on the island and stared, dumbfounded, at the back of Toby's young head as he took his dinner into the den to eat.

"Wow! What the hell happened while we were away?" Sam asked in a hushed tone, not even attempting to hide his astonishment once he was sure that Toby was out of earshot.

"The inevitable," I replied bitterly while refilling my wine glass.

"Lay…" Dean protested gently. "Sam, why don't we go and eat in the dining room? Lay and I can explain everything there."

Sam nodded while looking at me sympathetically, but I didn't notice because I was staring out of the back window into the yard outside. At this point in time, I somehow found comfort in the weather changing once again to be as miserable as I felt at this time.

Dean stilling my hand as I moved my glass towards my lips to take another drink took me out of my blank stare. I turned to face him, but I didn't really focus in on his face at first.

"Here… you should eat something, Lay," Dean commented sounding very concerned while passing me a plate with a piece of lasagna and a mound of salad on it.

"Hmmm… oh… yeah… thanks," I answered as I took the plate. "I'll meet you guys in there," I finished while I picked up the deep green bottle that contain the coveted Cabernet Merlot.

"Lay…" Dean started with a mild authoritative tone.

"Dean, I was just getting a refill… Let's not keep Sam waiting," I defended as I picked up my refilled glass in my free hand and headed towards the dining room.

Dean and I settled in around the table with Sam and they both ate in silence. I sat and picked at my salad absentmindedly, but despite Dean's gentle direction, I still didn't feel like eating anything.

"What's going on?" Sam mouthed to Dean between his bites.

"When she's ready," Dean silently answered back while finishing with a 'Don't Start' look.

Sam huffed silently, furrowed his brown and shook his head. Dean was still staring at him through his bites of food while silently warning him to keep quiet until I was ready to talk.

I was just playing with my food, lost in my thoughts when I look up and caught their non verbal exchange. Even after I started watching the Winchesters, they continued their silent back and forth and I started to chuckle uncontrollably. They then turned their attention to me and I laughed even louder.

"Sorry… sorry… Dean, I'm good. If you want to fill Sam on… well you know, please, go ahead," I directed before enjoying more wine.

"You're sure, Lay?" He confirmed. I nodded while I ate a small bite of the pasta dish.

"Well… Sam… long and short? Toby is pissed because he found out that Bill and Mo aren't his real parents. Lay and Bill are taking the brunt of his wrath and he's not talking to them," Dean explained bluntly.

While Dean was talking, Sam had stopped his fork mid-bite and dropped it to his plate.

"Oh? Is that all?" He asked through an uncomfortable chuckle.

I smiled at their genuine concern and replied, "He's still processing, so I can deal… no worries, okay? Toby's still being civil with you guys, so let's just let it be for now. When he's ready to talk, I will be too. But he's really upset right now and I don't want to push, okay?"

"Sure Addy, but…" Sam started to reply.

"It's fine Sam, really. I mean, come on… who am I to judge someone that needs time alone to get a handle on things?"

Dean choked slightly on his beer as he laughed at my comment.

"See!" I affirmed with a smirk. "So what did he have to show you guys?"

Dean nodded at Sam to start while he continued devouring his meal.

"Well… at first it was just a creative writing assignment he finished for class…" Sam started slowly. "He wanted me to proof read it and for me to give my thoughts on the description of the story."

"It's pretty good Lay," Dean added with his mouth filled with food.

"Is it the one about his kidnapping?" I asked with mild hope.

"Yeah… it's pretty much everything exactly how it happened… except for one major omission," Sam answered uneasily.

"He took me out," I stated shaking my head sadly. I set my fork down and exchanged it for my wine glass once again.

"Yeah… but it is well written and he should get a good grade on it," Dean offered.

"Is that all he had to show you?" I asked staring at the dark blood red liquid as I swirled it in my glass.

"Umm… no… he's also been tracking storms and he's uhh… been comparing the paths of the storms with possible locations of demon activity," Sam explained tentatively.

I smiled as I took another drink then replied, "He always has been a really smart kid… quick learner…"

"OH HEY! There you guys are! Did either of you two GUYS want more? There isn't too much left, so I was just going to put it way if you two didn't want more," Toby asked looking only at the Winchester brothers.

"No, thanks Buddy. Sam and I are good. I think Lay has had her fill too," Dean answered cordially.

"Ok, well since you two are full, I'll take your plates and start cleaning up then," Toby replied happily while picking up both of their empty plates.

He then turned and started out of the room without ever once casting a glance in my direction. Through the exchange between Toby and Dean, I just continued to stare at the dwindling liquid in my glass.

"TOBY!" Dean nearly shouted causing the pre-teen to stop in his tracks as he jumped slightly, unable to hide that Dean's tone had startled him.

Toby then turned slowly and smiled warmly while asking, "Yeah Dean? Was there something else?"

"I'm pretty sure that Lay is done too. Why don't you take her plate as well?" Dean replied trying to suppress his mounting irritation at Toby's rudeness. To me his tone sounded a lot like one his own father had used on many occasions during Dean's youth.

"Sure, no problem Dean."

Toby finally looked at me and picked up my plate. I was placing my now empty wine glass on the table. "Are you done with your glass too?" He asked with pure contempt.

"Yes… thank you," I replied just barely over a whisper.

He then quickly snatched it up then left the room.

A tear dribbled down from my eye onto the table cloth. I pushed my seat back and looked up at the two worried faces before me.

"Well, Dean was right. I have had my fill, so I think I'm going to retire for the night. Could you guys please remind Toby that he has school tomorrow, so he shouldn't stay up too late? That rough draft he was working on for English class is due. Oh… and he has to remember his math homework too…"

"Yeah, sure Addy, no problem. I'll make sure that he's got everything together," Sam assured me.

"Thanks Sam. I'm sorry… I wish I could visit longer, but I just don't have the strength tonight," I said as my voice started to break. "Welcome back… have a good sleep."

I started out of the room slowly, trying to keep from stumbling as I felt the alcohol going straight to my head. Suddenly I felt a protective, steadying arm wrap around my waist to help me to my room.

"Why don't I give you a hand?" Dean offered quietly into my ear.

I nodded my acceptance with a sad smile as we continued to the stairs.


	4. Then When Gravity Seduced Me and Drew Me to this Place

_"_ _**TOBY!" I called over the railing at the bottom of the stairs. "Come on! Breakfast is almost ready! Hurry up!"** _

_**I rushed back to the kitchen to tend to the nearly burning bacon in the frying pan that was still on the stove. I was moving it onto a paper towel covered plate when I heard, "I think those storm clouds that passed through yesterday might be bad news."** _

_**As I set the plate of bacon down with the rest of the breakfast spread on the island I replied, "They never bring anything good do they? Do you think Bobby would have any insights?"** _

_"_ _**Maybe…"** _

_"_ _**Sorry I took so long!" Toby accidentally interrupted as he set his backpack down on the living room's side of the door frame.** _

_"_ _**No worries Buddy. Here you go. Eat up," I responded while passing him a plate with a little bit of everything on it.** _

_"_ _**Are you sure you want to wear your jersey to school today Toby? You might get it dirty…"** _

_"_ _**Naaannnaa! Mom said it would be okay!" Toby whined as he sat down at the table.** _

_"_ _**Really Roo? You okayed this?" My mum asked with a mild mocking tone.** _

_"_ _**What? He's excited about the new uniforms," I answered with a shrug. "But Buddy, I think we might want to head out on the weekend and get you a new matching Under Armour. I don't think the Yankee Blue matches the Red Bird Red too well."** _

_**He looked up while chewing a mouthful of food and smiled. After swallowing he said, "Really mum? We don't have to…"** _

_"_ _**It's no problem Tobs." I interrupted as I ruffled his hair while I sat beside him.** _

_"_ _**Awesome! Thanks!" He leaned over and gave me a hug and looked into the back yard. "Whoa! You got the Yukon back already?"** _

_"_ _**Yes she did Toby," my mum replied as she sat opposite us at the table drinking her coffee. "If we both work on her, I bet we might be able to talk your mum into taking you to school in it today."** _

_"_ _**Really Nana? Because it would make a lot of my friends' dads SO jealous!" Toby asked excitedly.** _

_"_ _**Well…" I started. "I do have to pick up a few things in town to finish up the gun chest for the back… I was already planning to take you to school already, so no conspiring is needed."** _

_"_ _**Really? Thanks Mum."** _

_**I was placing my plate onto the counter and just smiled as my response while I watched him return to eating his meal. He then continued talking with his Grandmother and I started cleaning up the pans and other dishes that were no longer being used.** _

_"_ _**Whooooaaa! Check out that Impala!" Toby exclaimed in awe almost out of nowhere because I was sure that he hadn't been discussing vintage automobiles with his grandmother.  
** _

_**I looked up just over the counter after putting detergent into the dishwasher and caught my mum's eye. "What did you say Toby?"** _

_"_ _**Sorry Mum, Phantom is pretty kickass, but that Impala… you have to admit, it's pretty sweet!" He clarified happily.** _

_**My mum followed his gaze out to the back yard to look at the black muscle car that was being parked by our back stairs.** _

_"_ _**Mum? It's not…" I started to question.** _

_**By this time the passenger and driver had gotten out of the vehicle and were standing on their respective sides talking over the roof of the car.** _

_"_ _**Yeah… Roo, it is," My mum replied slowly.** _

_"_ _**Umm… Tobs…"** _

_"_ _**They're hunters and you and Nana will need to talk to them, right Mum?" Toby interrupted grinning as he placed his empty plate on the island.** _

_"_ _**I'm so sorry Buddy, but we do. I really did want to drive…"** _

_"_ _**Mum! Don't worry," Toby interjected as he gave me a hug. "I get it. I think that if I run, I can still catch the bus. Love you! Love you too Nana!" He called over his shoulder as he picked up his backpack and ran for the front door.** _

_"_ _**Love you!" My mum and I yelled in unison after him.** _

_**I had stepped into the living room to watch him and make sure that he was safely making his way down the driveway when I heard a knock at our back door.** _

_**My mum answered the door, let the two hunters in and then she made them comfortable at the breakfast nook by dividing up the leftovers between them. I stayed at the front window until Toby disappeared out of sight behind some trees that lined the driveway. When I got back into the kitchen, the two men were engrossed in their breakfast and my mum was just putting down a mug of coffee in front of each of them.** _

_**She then took a seat beside the younger hunter asking, "And he thinks it's happening here? In Kidder?"** _

_" **Yeah, he's pretty certain of that Vicki. But we should be able to handle it ourselves. I just wanted to let you know… just in case," the older hunter replied.**_

_" **So you finally make it back here and then you want to finish a hunt without us? Sorry, not gonna happen Winchester," I commented good-naturedly from the doorway as I walked into the kitchen towards them.**_

_" **Hey Addy… it's not that, it's just…" Dean started to defend awkwardly.**_

_" **Seriously Dean, you're too easy to tease," I interrupted as I stood beside the kitchen table. I extended my hand to the larger of the two males. "So that must make you the infamous Sam Winchester. It's nice to finally meet you after hearing so much about you."**_

_**Sam chuckled as he shook my hand. "Well if you put it that way Adelaide, you must have only heard the good stories then."** _

_**I cringed at hearing him call me 'Adelaide' and my mum laughed lightly, "Ooh Sam, word to the wise, never call my daughter 'Adelaide' again if you want to be able to walk without a permanent limp."** _

_**Dean was shaking in his chair from laughing silently and the color in Sam's face started to pale after my initial reaction.** _

_**I decided to throw the youngest at the table a bone and said, "No worries Sam… but now that you've been initiated, what are the details that I missed?" I leaned against the island, avoiding having to sit beside Dean.** _

_" **Well, La… Addy, we have a friend that caught wind of a ritual that will most likely be taking place here soon," Dean explained.**_

_" **Okay, so who's this 'friend' and how reliable are they? And who or what is going to be performing this ritual and why?" I asked wanting to know as much as I could. I figured they would have these details or they wouldn't have come to Kidder.**_

_**Sam and Dean exchanged unsure looks and my mom laughed again. "Roo, their friend is an angel," she paused as they both gaped and staring at her because of her bluntness. "What? You trust that I'll believe you, but not her? Come on guys, don't be wankers."** _

_**They both shrugged and chuckled, still somewhat shocked at her nonchalant disposition.** _

_" **Okay, good, I'm glad that's settled. Roo, it's Lucifer. It looks like the Devil is on his way here," my mum continued.**_

_" **Oh… so it's just the Apocalypse coming to town then? Good to know," I commented attempting to match her carefree tone.**_

_**My mum then picked up their empty plates and as she placed them on the island she seemed to remember something that hadn't occurred to her before.** _

_" **You know what? Addy and I boxed up some books to take to Bobby a little while back… I think a few of them might help. Be a dear Sam and give me a hand finding them?" She finished with a playful wink.**_

_" **Uhh… sure Vicki," Sam answered uneasily.**_

_" **Don't worry Sam, mum doesn't bite," I joked as he followed her out the door. "Hard _ **…"**_**_ _****I** ** ****whispered then chuckled to myself.** ** **  
**_

_**I placed the rest of the dishes in the washer and started the load. Dean was still sitting at the table looking around the room as if he wasn't sure what to say next.** _

_" **So… Lay…" he finally started to break the uncomfortable silence in the room and I turned to give him my full attention.**_

_" **MUM!" Toby's breathless, frantic voice came from just beyond the doorway seconds after Dean had spoken.**_

_" **Oh baby, did you miss the bus?" I asked smiling sympathetically at him.**_

_" **Yeah…" he replied remorsefully. "Hey there, I'm Toby," he finished by greeting Dean from his spot at the door with a wave.**_

_" **Oh, sorry. Dean, Toby. Toby, that's Dean Winchester."**_

_" **Whoa, really, you're THE Dean Winchester? Cool. But umm…" Toby's tone shifted from being impressed to being concerned quite quickly.**_

_" **Oh, right. Hey Buddy? My keys are on my night stand…"**_

_" **I'll go grab them!" He cut in as he ran towards the as he ran towards the stairs.**_

_"' **Mum'? 'Baby?'" Dean questioned dumbfounded.**_

_" **Umm…" I sat down across from him and flashed him a half smile, "Surprise! Yeah… Toby, he's uhh my… son."**_

_" **And he's what? Nine… ten years old?"**_

_" **Eleven. He'll turn twelve in November," I answered slowly while monitoring Dean's reaction and waiting for him to ask his next set of questions.**_

_" **Twelve in November… so that means he was born in…" His face started to twist in the most unattractive way as he tried to do the math in his head.**_

_**As much fun as it was to watch him struggle, I didn't want to torture him too much longer. I laughed half-heartedly and said, "1998… he was born in November of '98."** _

_**The color immediately drained from his face and his eyes narrowed as he asked, "Lay… what the hell? How could you have kept that from me all these years? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" His voice grew in volume and severity with every word.** _

_" **Dean! Keep your voice down!" I cautioned as I watched the door to make sure my son hadn't returned yet.**_

_" **Keep my voice down? You keep this from me for over twelve years and that all you have to say? Keep my voice down!" He continued without any attempt to hush his tone.**_

_" **Dean, I mean it! My son is NOT going to find out about his paternity by me having a shouting match with some guy that he's just met," I explained more quietly while I was trying to contain my own feelings of rage.**_

_" **Mum… I umm… I got your wallet too," Toby tentatively announced from the doorway. He looked like he was unsure if he should interrupt the exchange between Dean and me thinking that we were discussing the case that had brought the Winchesters to our town.**_

_**I looked up at his worried face and immediately flashed him a warm smile. "That's perfect, thanks Buddy. Grab your backpack and I'll meet you at the truck in a sec, okay?"** _

_**He picked up his bag with his free hand and started to head for the door. "Okay… umm… it was nice to finally meet you Dean. Maybe you could tell me more stories about the things you've killed while you're in town."** _

_**Before Dean could turn to respond, Toby was out the door on his way down the stairs.** _

_**Once I was sure Toby was a safe distance away from the door, and therefore out of hearing distance of the kitchen, I stood up, glared down at Dean and through nearly clenched teeth said, "Look Dean, you made it more than clear that the job was your number one priority and that's fine by me. But Toby's MY top priority and MY son is NEVER going to be made to feel like he's a burden. He's only going to know and feel how much he's loved. Now… if you'll excuse me, I have to get him to school."** _

_" **Lay…" Dean started to say much more calmly than before.**_

_" **I wasn't asking for permission Dean!" I snapped before walking out the door.**_

_**When I returned home, I wasn't surprised to see the Impala still parked by the backdoor. However, I was somewhat surprised to see the door to the garage was still opened and assumed that meant that mum and Sam were still digging through boxes to find the books she had been talking about.** _

_**I found Dean still sitting at the same sport at the breakfast nook sipping on coffee with his back facing the door. After quietly closing the door, I took in a deep breath in preparation for the inevitable fight to come.** _

_" **If we're going to go another round, I thought you might want to recharge," I said flatly as I placed a brown bag in front of him. "Sorry, I could only get apple straddle this early in the morning."**_

_**Without looking at him, I continued to the counter with another bag and stared putting away the bread, buns and deli meet I had bought while I was in town.** _

_" **Lay…" Dean started slowly while I still had my back turned to him. "I'm not Sydney… I mean, I'm not YOUR father. I would never have told my son that he was unwanted. You should have told me."**_

_**I turned slowly to face him and let a tear fall when I saw his moistened cheeks.** _

_" **But you never came back Dean… and then when I did try to call your phone was disconnected. I just figured you'd moved on to your next conquest and forgot all about me."**_

_**I sat up on the island, trying to maintain some distance between the two of us, just in case our discussion became heated again.** _

_**He slumped over slightly and shook his head as he replied, "I didn't come back…" he looked up as he finished. "…because your dad threatened to kill me if I ever stepped foot in Dubuque County again."** _

_**He chuckled then continued, "I thought he was just pissed at me because he found out that I was your first. But considering…" he trailed off looking down at his hands.** _

_**I hopped off the island and knelt down beside him, "That's what you tried to explain to me all those times I hung up on you."** _

_**His face was still tilted down and his bottom lip quivered with silent tears falling as he nodded in confirmation. Not caring if he would be annoyed, I placed one hand on his knee and wiped a tear from his cheek with the other.** _

_" **I'm so sorry Dean… I should have let you explain."**_

_**I then got up and sat beside him while holding his hands. "No…" he answered, shaking his head slowly. "No… I should have known something was wrong. I should have come back no matter what the consequences could have been."** _

_**I stroked his hand with my thumb, saying, "You did what you thought was best. Dean… can I try this again?"** _

_**He looked up, smiled softly and then shifted in his chair so that we were facing each other.** _

_**As we held each others' hands I started, "Dean… after your visit that February when we were… umm 'together' in the pool, I…umm I got pregnant. Sydney really didn't take the news well and avoided us until the day he died. I bowed out from hunting until Toby was old enough to stay home with my mum or the Connors…"** _

_**Dean's eyes softened as he listened in absolute silence, taking in my every word. "He's a really great kid…" I continued.** _

_**He looked down at our hands pensively before quietly asking, "Lay? Would you… would you tell me about him? You know… his likes? His dislikes?"** _

_"_ _**Sure Dean…" I got up and walked over to the fridge. "I think I have some pie in here if you wanted me to reheat a piece for you."** _

_**He smiled and nodded as I cut a piece of apple pie and heated it up for him. After I placed it in front of him I said, "He's a huge fan of my homemade pie too. Hey plays baseball, first base… he was just named to the starting roster and is more than excited about that. He has an appreciation for vintage muscle cars, but prefers riding in my new Yukon… He's a wiz at research and usually figures out what mum and I are hunting before we do… He…"** _

I woke up to someone quietly calling my name and felt their lips on my temple.

"Toby?" I asked as I drifted out of my deep sleep.

An arm wrapped tightly around me as I felt a warm body press up against my back.

"Sorry Lay, it's just me," Dean's voice responded.

I rolled over, pulled his lips to mine and then held face as I caressed his nose with my own.

"And 'just me' is someone I wouldn't trade for the world." I sighed loudly and continued, "Thank God you're still here Dean. I don't know how I would have gotten through tonight without you."

While I cuddled into his side, Dean kissed my forehead and said, "Really? Because from the sound of your dream there, I was thinking I was going to be finding myself in the doghouse or something."

"Oh… that… no, you're good. It's nothing for you to be worried about," I finished by kissing and nibbling his neck.

"Are you sure there's nothing that we should be talking about?" He asked not allowing my kisses to distract him.

"Honestly Dean, it's nothing. My brain has just decided to play out some 'What If' scenarios lately. It's stupid and not even really worth another thought."

"'What If' scenarios?" He asked sounding very confused.

"Yeah… you know what if Toby knew I was his mum… what if Sydney had been killed by that werewolf instead of mum and she helped me to raise him," I explained as I traced circles on his chest.

"And? How would things have been different?" He questioned eagerly, probing me to tell him more.

"And… everything was pretty much the same. Toby was still kidnapped, you and Sam saved him… you and I still… umm… reconnected. The only difference was that Toby called me 'Mum' instead of 'Addy'."

I sniffled back some tears that had formed. "Oh Lay, I'm sorry. But… I have to say that I'm very intrigued to hear more about this whole you and reconnecting situation," he whispered as he lightly ran his fingers up and down my spine under my t-shirt.

I placed a very deep kiss on his lips then coyly replied into his ear, "Well… it's kind of complicated, so it might be easier if I show you."

I finished by pushing him so that he was lying on his back on the bed and kissed him again. I shifted my weight so that I was straddling his hips and pulled him up by his shirt into an upright seated position. I continued to kiss him and lifted his shirt up over his head.

As our kisses became more heated, I suddenly heard a noise that made me abruptly stop.

"What? What is it Lay?" Dean breathlessly whispered into my ear.

"I thought…" I cut myself off as I hear a door close. "Yeah… Toby's up…" I moved back to my side of the bed and hung my legs over the edge as I held the mattress on each side of me. I was trying to decide what I should do next, unsure if I could approach Toby in his possible time of need.

"And… if he has had a nightmare, there's no way he's coming in here for me to help…" I stopped as my words turned into sobs and I raised my hands to my face to stifle the noise I was now making.

Dean had put his shirt back on and was now standing in front of me, rubbing my back as I cried.

"I'll go and check on him. It'll be okay," he promised before he kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry Lay, I'll be right back."

I nodded and looked up at him so that he could give me another soft, reassuring kiss. After Dean left the room, I crawled back under the covers to await his return in warmth of our bed.

Dean stepped out into the empty hall way, but continued towards Toby's room when he saw the door wide open. He was just looking into the room when he heard a door open behind him and Toby's groggy voice ask, "Everything alright Dean?"

Dean quickly turned around and chuckled. "I was going to ask you the exact same thing Buddy. We got a little worried when we heard you up."

"Really?" Toby was genuinely surprised at Dean's concern. "Well I appreciate your checking on me, but I'm fine. I just had to go to the bathroom."

"Oh? So no nightmare?" Dean clarified while trying to cover up his disappointment that we had apparently been interrupted for no reason.

Toby chuckled then replied, "Nope, no nightmare. Actually I haven't really had any bad dreams since that night we talked about Bigfoot. I think I've maybe only had one or two since then."

"Really?"

"Yeah… now when some monster appears in my dream, I just dream about you or Sam or Ad… or someone shooting it with the demon killing Colt and then it's done."

"Wow, just like that, huh?"

Toby wrapped his arms around Dean's torso in a hug as he responded, "Yep… just like that. Thanks again for everything Dean."

Dean gave him a squeeze then ruffled his hair. "Anytime Buddy. Well, you've got school tomorrow, so I'll let you get back to bed now."

"Yeah… G'night Dean."

"Good night Toby."

Dean returned to our room and closed the door while saying with mild excitement, "Okay… just a false alarm Lay."

He crawled into bed and kissed my neck. "Now where were we?" He questioned seductively into my ear.

When he only received my deep rhythmic breathing as a response, he laughed softly then kissed my cheek and cuddled in close to me. "Sweet dreams Lay."


	5. When I Left the Warm Surroundings of My Selfish Difficult Stage

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself alone in my oversized bed. Fearing the worst, I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed quietly.

 _Was Dean being here just a dream? Toby hates me and who knows how long that will last. Is there any point in me getting out of bed today?_ I thought to myself sadly.

*Knock*Knock*Knock*

I turned my head to look over my shoulder so I could see who was entering my room.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty… Sam and I made breakfast… are you planning on getting up anytime soon?" Dean asked as he leaned over me to kiss my cheek.

I rolled over onto my left side to face Dean while he kneeled down beside the bed. I leaned over and placed my hands on his cheeks and traced his lips with my thumbs before I pulled him into a kiss. I laced my hands around his head and forced Dean to remain in my embrace until I had had my fill of the taste of his lips.

"And a good morning to you too Miss Jones," Dean replied smiling while combing my hair out of my face with his fingers.

"When I woke up and you weren't here… I… I figured yesterday was just a dream," I explained lightly petting his face.

"Oh Lay… I'm here… I'm here..." Dean was now on his knees resting his chin on his hands that were on the edge of the bed.

"But as much as you want to stay, you guys are going to have to head out soon," I continued for him.

"How… how'd you know?" He stammered and sat back on his heels, taking his chin off of the bed.

With my index finger, I stroked an invisible line from a spot between his eyes down the bridge of his nose saying, "Your forehead crinkles right here whenever you have news that you really don't want to have to tell me."

He chuckled softly and said, "Remind me never to play poker with you."

I was now sitting up on the edge of the bed and Dean held my hands while still on the same spot on the floor.

"I wish my visits didn't have to be so short." He looked up at me as he kissed my fingertips.

"Me either, but the Apocalypse waits for no one," I said sadly as I stood up to walk over to my dresser. "So… where are you heading to now?"

"Toby thinks he found something in Illinois that we should look into. We're going to try to follow the same path that that storm took going through Minnesota into Canada as much as possible on our way," he explained from my previous spot on the bed.

I pulled out a change of clothes and took off the t-shirt I had been sleeping in. As I fastened my bra, I turned towards Dean and caught him eyeing me hungrily. He started to get up off the bed, so I held my hand up and cautioned, "No Dean! Stay!"

He obliged and sat back down while starting to pout. I continued to dress and completed my reasoning, "I know he hates me right now, but I need to make sure that Toby's got everything ready for school. Plus, with our luck lately, what do you think the chances are that we won't get interrupted?"

"Okay… okay… fair enough," he replied with a half smile.

As I secured the fly on my jeans, I felt Dean's arms wrap around my waist and he kissed my shoulder. I snaked my arms around him until my hands found the pockets at the back of his jeans and I leaned my head against his chest.

"One of these days we'll get to spend more than a night together Dean," I said with a sigh. "One of these days… when there's no Devil to worry about and Mo's healthy again."

Dean gently turned me around in his arms and placed a kiss on my lips. "I'm going to hold you to that."

I smiled up at him then held him tightly. "Hey Dean? Can I bug you to do me a favor?"

As he stroked my hair he replied," Anything, just name it Lay."

"Toby won't admit it to you, but he doesn't feel comfortable taking the bus to school right now… Bill and I have been taking turns driving him, so I was thinking… since he doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me… would you mind taking him today?" I started with my head against his chest and finished looking up at him with a sad pleading look on my face.

Dean tucked my hair behind my ears and smiled answering, "I wouldn't mind at all. But… is he going to be okay? Is there something else I can do?"

"I think he'll be fine in time. We were working on getting him over his phobia, but I guess that'll be on hold until he starts talking to me again," I said solemnly while still in Dean's arms.

"Right… well at least he was talking to you about it though. So… are you hungry?" He asked while caressing my cheek.

"Starved. I don't remember actually eating a meal yesterday," I replied sheepishly.

"Well then, let's get some food in you," he said playfully while lacing the fingers of his left hand with my right.

After we stepped out of our room, we rain into a fairly frantic Toby rushing into his room.

"Crap… crap!" He muttered as he scooped up a few items from his desk and threw them into his back pack.

Dean gave me a questioning look and I nodded with my eyes closed as a silent affirmation for him to check on Toby. When he felt me release my grip from his hand, he squeezed it tightly and whispered in a very stern tone, "You're coming too. He has to get over this sooner or later and I for one would prefer it be sooner."

I knew that Dean had made up his mind, so I had no choice but to follow him and offered him a weak smile of concession.

As he stepped into the doorway of Toby's room with me trailing behind, Dean asked, "Where's the fire Toby?"

Without looking up from rearranging the contents in his bag, Toby answered, "I got caught up working on my rough draft for English class and totally lost track of time… now I'm going to miss my bus and be late for class!"

"Well… why don't I drive you?" Dean offered coolly.

Toby immediately stopped in his tracks and looked up at Dean and asked, "Really? Because if you could then I'd have more than enough time to get ready."

"Okay, I guess you can take your time then," Dean confirmed.

"Thanks Dean, you're awesome!" Toby praised cheerfully.

"Actually Toby, it was all Lay's idea, so you should be thanking her," Dean clarified as he pulled me out from my hiding place behind him.

Toby started studying his feet and shuffled from one foot to another as he quietly mumbled, "Thanks for asking Dean to drive me to school Addy."

Since those were the first civil words that he had directed to me in the last 48 hours, I felt a lump form in my throat as I responded, "Anytime Toby."

Dean squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. "Hey, Lay, do you think you could give Toby and I a minute alone?"

I looked up and gave Dean a quizzical look to which he countered, "Just some guy talk." He ended with a bemused smiled and a wink.

"Okay…" I said still sounding quite uncertain. "See you downstairs."

Before I could turn to leave, Dean held my face with his right hand and kissed my cheek then whispered in my ear, "It's really no big deal. We'll be right down."

I just nodded then left the room.

Toby was gathering his last few essentials before he looked up at Dean and swallowed hard.

"So… umm… what's up Dean?" He questioned with timid a squeak.

"Toby, dude… breathe," Dean started with a chuckle. "I just wanted to check that you would still be keeping an eye on Lay for me."

Toby refused to make eye contact with Dean, but nodded and whispered "Yes" as his reply.

Dean maintained his humorous demeanor knowing that he could guilt Toby out of his rude behavior faster by playing it cool and being a nice guy.

With a huge Cheshire cat grin on his face, Dean responded saying, "Good to know I've got one of my best guys looking out for my girl. So… can I help you get ready for school?"

Toby finally raised his eyes to look and Dean as he quietly answered, "No, I got the last of everything I need." He finished by lifting his back pack onto his shoulder to prove his point.

Dean wrapped an arm around Toby's shoulder saying, "Okay, then let's head down and get you off to school then."

"Sure. Umm… Dean?" Toby asked hesitantly.

"Yeah Buddy?" Dean answered happily as they walked out of the bedroom.

"Umm… you're not…" Toby seemed to change his mind mid-question. "Umm… you still have the same cell number, right?"

Dean suppressed a hearty laugh, feeling fairly smug at the change in attitude he saw in the young boy. "Sure do Buddy."

_Meanwhile during the exchange between Dean and Toby…_

I continued downstairs still shaking my head because I had no idea what Dean had planned. I set a swift course for the kitchen as my hunger pains became nearly unbearable. Once I got there I couldn't help but laugh out loud because I should have known that 'Sam and I made breakfast' actually meant that one of them brewed a pot of coffee while the other bought some muffins and doughnuts in town.

Sam heard my hearty laughter and slowly walked into the kitchen.

"Morning Addy."

"Hey Sam. So which one of you two is a baker now?" I asked with a chuckle while holding up a poppy seed muffin.

"Huh?" Sam asked taken aback by my seemingly odd question.

I had taken a bite out of the muffin and quickly swallowed it so I could say, "Dean tried to coax me downstairs by saying that you two 'made' breakfast. Please tell me Toby didn't just eat a doughnut this morning."

Sam diverted his attention to the coffee pot as he poured himself another mug and avoided my question.

"Sam?" I prompted with an almost motherly tone.

He looked over at me and shrugged saying, "I think he had one with fruit jelly in it."

I shook my head and tried desperately not to smile. "You two spoil him. I should be really mad at you right now and threaten some kind of bodily harm… you are so lucky that you just got back from heaven young man," I said through mock anger, biting my lip so that I wouldn't smile.

"Well at least you're actually eating something today, Addy," Sam threw back sarcastically.

I finished eating the muffin's top and gave him a pretend glare.

"Hey! It's not like I called you 'Adelaide' or anything," he commented defensively.

After a swallow of coffee to wash down the last bit of muffin, I retorted, "Seriously? We're going to do this… Little Sammy?" I smirked triumphantly. "Oh yeah, that's right… I went there," I teased back.

He let out a hearty laugh and I smiled then said, "There's that signature Sammy… I mean signature Sam Winchester smile. So… do you have everything packed up and ready to go?"

"Yeah… you know us; we're used to traveling light." He gave me a beautifully sympathetic look. "Addy… are you going to be okay? I mean…"

I put down my mug and walked over and gave him a tight hug. "Yes, I will Sam… I have to be, so no worries, okay? You have more important things to be concerned about right now."

"Addy you know that you're important to us, so we do worry. If we can help you with anything, please make sure you call us, okay?" He reaffirmed with a tight squeeze.

"Thanks Sam, same goes for you. But I promise you, I'm… I'm good. I'm just waiting for the day that Toby finally stops hating me. After that, I'll be perfect." I couldn't help but choke on a tearful lump in my throat.

"Don't say that Addy…"

"What? Sam, he does hate me and I don't blame him one bit… Dammit Sam, how did we get here?" I finished wiping away some tears trying to laugh it off.

"I don't know… I guess we both suck at goodbyes," he reasoned with a soft chuckle.

"Well, let me try again." I leaned back and looked up at him. "Stay safe Sam and call if I can help you two with anything."

He gave me another signature sympathetic Sam Winchester smile before catching a glimpse of Dean and Toby in the doorway. Sam didn't waiver when he saw the chagrinned look on Toby's face from hearing that I thought he hated me. "Would it be lame is I said 'Ditto' right now?"

I pulled him close and smiled saying, "No" at the same time that Dean retorted, "Can't fight you're true nature Sammy."

I did a half turn while still in Sam's arms and we both nearly shouted, "Dean!" as we chastised his brother.

I then caught Toby's eye, so I immediately diverted my gaze and swooped in behind Sam to allow him and Dean to continue their verbal sparring match.

"Dean… Sam's not lame," Toby said in defense of the younger Winchester.

"Thank you Toby," Sam replied as he gave the boy an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder.

Dean smirked while offering his last playful insult. "Well Toby's still young, so he's got a lot to learn Sammy."

I chuckled softly as I looked at the clock on the oven and said, "Well… speaking of…"

Toby looked up at the same indigo numbers that I was reading and sighed saying, "Ah man, yeah… if we don't leave soon I'll be late for class."

I was now on the opposite side of the island from the three males as I cautiously asked, "Umm… Toby? Did you or the guys pack a lunch?"

He responded quietly while looking down at the counter top, "No, but dah… Bi… I was given lunch money for the week."

I nodded sadly and both Sam and Dean recognized the awkwardness of the situation, but it was Sam that broke the tension first.

"Well, I call shotgun!" He proclaimed.

"No fair! Sam, the car has to be in view! That's what I've always been told!" Toby whined as he followed Sam to the back door.

"Fine, I'll arm wrestle you," Sam joked.

"No Way! You're like a hundred times bigger than me!"

"Last one to the Impala?" Sam offered while smiling at me.

"Deal!" Toby agreed as he grabbed his bag tight and ran towards the door.

Sam then turned to me and hugged me tight once again. "We'll see you soon. Take care Addy."

"You better Winchester," I cautioned lovingly with a large grin. "I'm sorry you lost out on sitting up front."

He chuckled then replied, "That's okay… I'll beat him next time."

After he left the house, Dean and I stared at each other for a moment. I'm not sure which one of us gave in first, but somehow I was wrapped in his arms with our lips furiously attacking the others.

Out of instinct, I started to raise my left leg to wrap it around Dean's waist as he trailed kisses to the sizeable scar on my collarbone.

"Dean… Dean…" I panted quietly.

He kissed my lips again, gently pushed my leg down and leaned back to say, "Lay… I'll miss you so much. I wish you would…"

I pinched his lips with my fingers and smiled saying, "Me too… me too, but you know I'm needed here. Now you go… get that boy to school and go kill the Devil."

"Yes ma'am," he said with a chuckle and a wink.

After another soft kiss, we said our 'I Love Yous' and Dean was behind the wheel of the Impala en route to find the next apocalyptic hunt with his brother.

Once I was alone in the house, I picked up my coffee mug and moved to the computer in the den. My primary goal was to search the recent activity on the internet and the computer's user history to see for myself everything that Toby had showed Sam and Dean.

As I started snooping around on the computer, the phone rang and I jumped because I felt guilty for seemingly being caught in the act.

"Hello?"

" _Hey Koala Bear. How are you holding up?"_

"Oh, hey Bobby. All things considered, I'm not too bad. How 'bout you?"

" _Same here. Uhh… are the boys still at your place?"_

"No… sorry, they just left a little while ago. Is something wrong?"

" _Well, not 'wrong' per se, but I think I found a hot spot in Minnesota that they might to look into. But I'll call them in a bit. How are Maureen and the family?"_

"Mo's stable. She's still in the hospital and no changes in her condition that I know of, which is good, I guess. Bill's exhausted, but refuses to leave her side. And Toby…" I paused and took a deep breath to maintain my composure. "Toby's been better… he found out that he's adopted and he's not really taking it too well. Bill and I have been getting the silent treatment since he got the news."

" _Oh Addy, I'm so sorry to hear that… can I…"_

"It's fine Bobby, really. He's good with everyone else, so in time it should be better. Please don't worry about me, I can handle it. Hell… he's even be tracking storms and demon activity to help Sam and Dean. He probably even knows something about what you found in Minnesota."

" _Well… still… if I can help or if you need me to talk with him, you just let me know."_

I chuckled then answered, "Thanks Bobby but Dean had a little chat with him already today."

Bobby let out a hearty laugh. _"Well that's good to hear. Now, don't you forget to call me if I can be of any help. And you know I do worry about you, so you keep me up to date young lady."_

"Thanks Bobby, I will. I'm going to try to find out what Toby showed the guys. But, if you get a hold of them, I'm sure they can tell you too. I'll let you know if I find anything else. Take care Bobby."

" _You too Koala Bear."_

After I hung up the phone, I easily found the documents that I had been looking for. Toby was very meticulous with his research, so there was a lot of well organized information for me to read over. When I heard my stomach growl, I check the clock on the screen and it confirmed that lunch hour had hit.

I went to the kitchen and rooted through the leftovers in the fridge and heated some of them up before returning to the den to finish reading the material I had found.

While I was still engrossed in the information, I almost missed the phone ringing once again.

"Yeah?"

" _Is this Adelaide Jones?"_

I immediately straightened up at being addressed so formally. "Yes, this is she," I replied hesitantly fearing that the worst had happened to someone I loved.

" _Adelaide, this is Mr. McLean, Toby's teacher."_

I finally recognized the voice on the other line and took a calming breath and continued with a tone of familiarity. "Hey Tulsa, what's up?"

" _Addy, umm… sorry for being so formal but it's pretty serious. Toby's at the Principal's office and might be suspended, so we need someone to come down to the school and discuss the situation. I didn't want to bother Bill right now considering everything that's been going on with Maureen. Since he's been staying with you… do you think you could come in while we have a disciplinary meeting?"_

"Yeah, of course I can Tulsa. What… what happened?"

" _Toby got into a fight with one of his classmates, but we'll fill you in on all of the details when you get down here."_

"Okay. Yeah… sure… umm I'll head down right now."

" _Thanks Addy. We'll see you soon. Bye."_

"Yeah… bye."

Although I knew Toby's teacher and a lot of the other staff at the school quite well because we had gone to high school together, I decided that I should change into something more appropriate for a meeting with the Principal.

I settled on a black and white floral patterned A-line skirt that fell just below the knees and a black sweater set. I was hoping this ensemble would cover up as many scars and bruises that I had acquired as possible. I left my hair loose because I had a small cut on the back of my neck from my last fight with a demon and finished off my outfit with my mother's white gold Celtic cross necklace. After slipping on my only pair of black pumps, I grabbed my grey trench coat and did a final nervous inspection in the mirror to ensure I looked the part for this particular job.

The Principal's office was easily found due to its close proximity to the main entrance and I immediately saw Toby's legs beyond the door frame beside the office I sought.

"Hi, I'm Adelaide Jones. Mr. McLean called me and I'm supposed to see him and Mr. Burton."

The middle aged secretary offered a half smile before answering, "Yes, they've been expecting you. One moment please." She picked up her phone and dialed a four digit local. "Mr. Burton, Miss Jones is here… yes… okay, I will." After hanging up the receiver, she turned her attention to me again. "He and Mr. McLean are ready for you. Please, go right in."

"Thank you," I replied quietly before I turned to go into the Principal's office.

After turning around I caught a glimpse of Toby. His shirt was ripped at the collar and he had a small cut on the left side of his bottom lip with dried blood on it. He had his hands folded in his lap, but the scratches on his right knuckle were still visible. He had his head bowed and never once attempted to look up.

I knocked lightly on the Principal's door as I opened it.

Toby's teacher was the first to greet me, "Hey Addy. Please take a seat."

"Thanks Tulsa," I responded softly while sitting in the chair next to his.

During my time in the small room, the Principal and Toby's teacher informed me that during the afternoon recess, Toby had gotten into a fight with one of his classmates and the other young boy was now at the hospital because his wounds needed stitches. They both had independently and jointly tried to speak with Toby about the cause of the fight because it was so far out his character to be violent. However, Toby refused to tell them why he had beaten up his classmate so badly and his silence seemed to worry them more than anything else about the situation.

"Now Adelaide, we've decided that a one day suspension along with some after school detention would be an adequate punishment. Toby is such a bright student and has never been in trouble before, so we don't want to treat him too harshly. However, we cannot let this stand," Mr. Burton explained to me.

I nodded and swallowed hard before replying, "Yes sir, I understand. Please believe me Mr. Burton when I say that I and his parents in no way condone this behavior and I will be addressing this incident with him as well."

Tulsa held my hand and smiled saying, "Addy, don't be too hard on him. We understand that he's going through a lot with his mother's illness and the recent revelation of his adoption… plus Justin, the other boy, he's no stranger to fights here at school."

"Thanks for saying that Tulsa, but that still doesn't excuse Toby's behavior. He knows better than to give in to his anger like this."

"He has his assignments that he needs to have completed for Wednesday, so he's free to go now Miss Jones," the Principal concluded swiftly before we could start debating what could have happened to lead up to this moment.

"Thank you, I'll make sure that he gets it all done."

I stepped out of the office and squeezed Toby's shoulder quietly ordering, "Come on Toby, grab your bag and let's get going."

I started walking away before he stood up, so he had to jog to catch up with me down the hall.

"Addy… I'm sorry, but I can explain…"

"When we get home," I stated flatly without slowing my pace.

"But Addy… it's…" he started to plead.

I stopped and looked him in the eye asserting almost angrily, "Not now Toby! We'll discuss it when we get home. I'm just… just… NOT NOW!"

"Fine," he huffed. "Whatever."

Once I started the car, Linkin Park's 'Figure .09' started playing. Knowing that there would be no discussion on the drive home, Toby cranked the volume slightly louder and stared out his window. I was feeling so agitated that I just turned it up louder to show the young boy that I shared his foul mood and that his defiant behavior didn't bother me at this moment in time.

At the house I turned the volume down and shifted in my seat to speak to Toby, but he had already vacated the vehicle and made his way to the back door. I jumped out and sprinted up the stairs but wasn't able to catch him in the kitchen.

He had disappeared so quickly that I had no idea where he had hidden himself, so I did the only thing I could think of to do get his attention at the moment.

"TOBIAS JONATHAN CONNOR! GET YOUR ASS IN THIS LIVING ROOM RIGHT NOW!" I shouted as loudly as I could. "DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE AND FIND YOU!"

As I kicked off my shoes and placed my trench coat on a chair, Toby came bounding down the stairs. When I turned around he was staring at me wide eyed and somewhat pale. I had never had to raise my voice with him in the past and it appeared to me that seeing me this angry scared him.

"SIT!" I ordered a little too loudly and he obliged immediately.

"Addy… let me…" he started timidly.

"WHAT? EXPLAIN? Toby, what the hell? Since when do you go around beating people up?" I interrupted still quite infuriated.

"He deserved it," Toby offered in his defense almost inaudibly.

"Pardon me? 'Deserved it'? Why? Was he a vampire?" I asked starting my interrogation.

"No…"

"Oh… then he was a demon." I offered sounding annoyed while pacing in front of him.

"No."

"Hmm… then he was a werewolf."

"Nooo…" he whined slightly exasperated.

"Well then WHAT Toby? You know that violence and lying is NOT tolerated unless it had to do with a hunt, so please enlighten me. What did your classmate do to 'DESERVE' being beaten to a pulp?"

He stared at me for a couple of seconds and then replied in his signature rapid fashion, "He… he said my story was crap. He said that no one could take a beating like that and live… he said…"

"So what? So he made fun of Sam and Dean? Toby, come on Buddy, you have got to give me something better than that," I interrupted feeling my anger rising again.

"It wasn't them…" he said apprehensively while looking at his lap.

His evasiveness was starting to irritate me even more and I questioned him with more venom this time, "THEN WHO TOBY? WHO?"

"YOU!" His head shot up as he answered. "He said that YOU could never survive a fight like that because you're a girl and that girls don't know how to fight and that you'd be dead even if you were being beaten up by another girl. And then when I defended you he started calling me names because I had to have a girl fight for me and that I was even lamer because the story wasn't even true so why would I write a fictional story about a girl saving my life?"

His response took me by surprise because I had no idea that he had rewritten me into his story. I stared at him silently for a moment while Toby was hyperventilating after he finished his tearful explanation. I took a deep breath and sat down beside him and held his hands.

"Toby… Buddy… that's still not an excuse. Did you know that he had to go to the hospital and get stitches?" I explained more calmly.

He shook his head sadly. "I didn't mean to hurt him so badly. I was just so mad…"

"I know… I know…" I passed him a tissue from my jacket then continued saying, "So… Mr. Burton told me you're to stay home from school tomorrow…"

"Yeah and I have to write a paper about bullying… and I have detention… and I have to help Mr. McLean with some after class duties for the rest of the week," he finished meekly.

"Okay… well that's not all. Also, there will be no TV and no cell phone either. Oh… and no internet, except for school work, so no 'storm tracking', understood?"

He looked up at me while his lip quivered. "But Addy…"

"No Toby. Now what you did was wrong… I don't even know where to start to explain how wrong it was. So, hand me your phone and then head up to your room, you should get started on your homework. I'll call you when dinner's ready."

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and slowly placed it in my out stretched hand while protesting, "But Dean…"

"Dean and Sam can go a few days without your help. You can have it back at the end of the week. Now go… you have a lot of work to get done before Wednesday."

"Addy…"

"Toby, no… I have to be firm. Please… go. Dinner will be ready in a little while," I insisted feeling my resolve breaking.

"No, that's now what I was going to say." He looked up and tried to keep a brave face while blurting, "I'm sorry Addy. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, I'm… I'm sorry…"

Tears were now streaming out of his eyes and then he jumped up and ran to his room.

My heart sank as I watched him run up the stairs. Yes, I was upset by his behavior, but he was in no way a disappointment, only his actions were. I picked up my shoes and jacket to take them to my room and went to go change. On my slow trek up the stairs, I tried to think of a way to describe the difference to Toby.

Once upstairs, I stopped and knocked on Toby's closed door.

"Yeah?" He called from the other side.

I opened the door and sat next to him while he was on his stomach crying into his pillow.

As I rubbed his back I serenely explained, "Toby, none of us are perfect. I love you so much and I need you to know that you are in no way a disappointment. After we've both eaten and calmed down a bit more, we'll talk about everything, okay?"

He sniffled and wiped his face on his sleeve. "Okay…"

I stood up to leave, but Toby stopped me by calling out, "Addy?"

"Yeah Buddy?"

"I love you too."


	6. Giddy Up!

After we had a fairly quiet dinner, I decided we should visit his mom so that I could fill his dad in on the events of the day. My heart ached at the thought of telling Bill even more bad news, but I had to remind myself that Bill and Maureen were Toby's parents and they should actually be the ones to punish him.

Once we got to the hospital, Toby and I walked slowly to Maureen's room in silence. When we reached the landing for '3N', Toby gently grabbed my arm and looked at me with tears welling up his eyes.

"Are you going to tell them about… you know?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah Buddy, I have to. I think I'll spare your mom the details, but your dad has to be told. I'm sorry Toby. I thought it would be easier if I told him, unless you… "

"No… Oh no," he whispered as he hung his head shamefully. "No, I can't… I mean I… "

I pulled him into a hug and continued, "It's alright Buddy. They both love you so much; they'll forgive your behavior too. I promise, okay?"

He looked up at me while nodding then he turned and opened the door. To my surprise, as we continued down the hall, Toby grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine as we made our way down the linoleum lined hallway. Maureen's room door was open and Bill was at his usual post beside her hospital bed with his head bowed against his knuckles in a solemn prayer.

The sound of one of our shoes squeaking caused Bill to look up quickly. His eyes lit up and a large warm smile spread across his face as he saw the two of us hand in hand.

"Hey you two… how are you doing?" He asked softly trying not to disturb Maureen while she was sleeping.

Toby hung his head sadly and replied almost inaudibly, "Fine."

"We're okay Bill, but umm… could I speak to you out in the hall of a minute?"

I gave Toby's hand a soft squeeze and whispered in his ear, "Why don't you keep your mom company while I go and talk with your dad."

He nodded slowly and wiped a tear from his eye and moved to Maureen's side and sat on the bed by her knees.

Once Toby was comfortable and Bill was confident that Maureen was as well, he followed me into the hall and wrapped me in a large bear hug.

"Oh Addy! You're a miracle worker! He's talking to you again. How did you manage to do that?" He asked smiling and looking very hopeful.

"Umm well… it's not as great as it seems Bill. But, you should sit down before I tell you all about it," I said as I closed the hospital room door.

Bill tried more than once to get me to sit down while I explained to him about Sam and Dean visiting us and Dean's conversation with Toby. Even though I still wasn't sure what Dean said to Toby, I was convinced that Dean had played a major role in Toby's change of attitude. My pacing became more frantic as I continued onto the details of being called to the Principal's office to discuss the fight in which Toby had participated.

When I got to the point where I was giving details about Toby's punishment that we had all agreed upon, I sat down beside him and said, "I hope I didn't over step my bounds, but on top of all of that I also grounded him. No TV, no cell phone and no internet…"

Bill had his head in his hands and he looked up at me to say, "No… no Addy you didn't over step. Thank you for taking care of all of that for us. I… I just don't know how I'd get through all of this without you. You've done so much to help us, I just… thank you for taking this on too."

I leaned over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You know I'm happy to help when I can Bill. After my not so little blow up with him, I'm sure Toby will think twice before getting into any more fights. I hope at least…"

"Addy… thank you," he was looking completely overwhelmed and his words seemed to get caught in his throat.

"No worries Bill, really. So… how's Mo doing? Any word on a transplant yet?" I asked while still holding him tightly.

"No… no word yet. She's still stable and since she hasn't gotten any worse the doctors are feeling somewhat encouraged by that. It seems that the new medication they have her on is helping somewhat," he answered with a small smile.

"And what about you Bill? How are you…?"

"I'm fine Addy. They've moved a spare bed into Maureen's room so that I have a place to sleep now. Please, please don't worry about me."

I gave him a squeeze and replied, "I'll try not to, but I won't go making promises I know I cannot keep Bill."

That elicited a small chuckle and then we hear Maureen's door open and close. We turned at the same time to see Toby standing in front of the closed door with his hands clasped behind his back.

"Mom fell asleep again and I know I'm not allowed to watch TV right now…" he explained timidly.

"It's not problem son. Why don't you come here for a second?"

I got up from my seat while Toby stood in front of his father nervously anticipating what his dad was going to say. Bill held Toby's hands in both of his as he said, "Addy told me about what happened at school today… I know that she has already talked to you about it, so I won't lecture you too much more. But Tobias… I want you to know that if you ever need to talk about something, you can talk to us, okay? Me, Addy, your mom, we're here. And I'm sure that Dean and Sam would be happy to lend an ear too. We're all here, you understand son?"

Toby nodded slowly and stared at his feet when he quietly answered, "Yes sir."

"Addy also told me that she has grounded you as well. Now I want you to mind her like you would your mother or I, okay? She done more than enough to help our family to earn that respect from all of us, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

As Bill continued his talk with Toby, I walked away to give them some privacy. I soon found myself in front of a wall of vending machines and was suddenly feeling very parched. I pulled out a hand full of coins from my pocket and counted them to see if I had enough for a bottle of water.

"Here," a gruff voice said from behind me as they passed a dollar bill over my shoulder.

I jumped a little and turned while taking the bill saying, "Thanks Don, I think I was a little short. Here, let me…"

"Addy… come on, just take it. Please, let me buy you a bottle of water."

"Oh, okay. Thanks again."

I then made my purchase and before turning back to him, I opened the bottle to take a large gulp of water. As I was replacing the cap, I pivoted to face the Sheriff again and stumbled back slightly, startled by his close proximity.

"Umm…" I started uncomfortably.

"I heard about Toby. Is there anything I can do to help you?" Don questioned while tucking my hair behind my left ear and reducing the small gap between our two bodies.

I pressed my back against the Coke machine in a failed attempt to increase the space between the two of us. My mouth suddenly felt like it was filled with cotton balls as I answered through a whisper, "No… thanks. I'm more than certain that I have that situation covered."

He leaned in and pinned me in my place as he lovingly ran his hand over my face and continued as if I hadn't replied at all, "Because I am the Sheriff, you know, I could help scare him straight if you needed me to. I honestly don't mind."

I swallowed hard debating my options to get out of this amazingly awkward situation. My head was glued to the cold plastic and I tried my hardest to stay calm and to keep my heartbeat from racing.

"You are so beautiful Addy, you know that?" He asked staring at my lips as he ran his fingertips over them causing my lips to tingle excitedly.

"Don… please… don't…"

"Shh…" he interrupted while lowering his lips to mine.

I was just about to knee him in the groin or punch him in the gut so that I could shove him away when we heard Toby call my name just before our lips connected.

While still partially pinning me to the machine, Don whipped his head around to see where the interruption had come from. I took the opportunity the distraction afforded and pushed one of Don's arms so I could duck out of his grasp while yelling, "Here…! I'm over here Toby!"

I then swiftly walked in the direction I knew Toby would be coming from to meet up with him. He rounded the corner and smiled exclaiming, "Oh good! There you are!"

"Sorry Buddy, I just needed a drink and then I ran into…" I partially turned my upper body to point to the Sheriff with my water bottle, but Don had already slipped away.

"Into whom?"

"Umm… oh, no one… it was no one," I replied as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. "Let's get you home so you can start on that homework, okay?"

"Yeah… okay," he replied with less enthusiasm.

I checked over my shoulder again and was still somewhat confused at how quickly Don had disappeared from sight.

"Are you okay Addy?" Toby asked while holding the door to the stairs open for me.

"Hmm? Oh, sure, yeah Toby. I'm fine," I replied while trying to give him a strong smile. "I've just never been a big fan of hospitals, you know. So, let's get going, okay?"

After we got home, Toby went straight to his room to work on his assignments before bed. I was feeling relieved that the day had ended on a somewhat positive note when it came to my relationship with Toby. I had poured myself a Scotch on the Rocks as a night cap and drank it while flipping through some books on the topic of "Angels" the he had found somewhere in my vast library of ancient text.

As I read the text, my mind wandered to thoughts about the scene that had played out at the hospital.

_How do I get Don to finally understand that I don't have feelings for him? I love Dean. Period. I've told him that, so many times, but for some reason he just won't let that fact set in. Why? Why won't it set it? What can I do to finally get him to believe the truth?_

"You could beat him into understanding your point of view," a gravely, somewhat inebriated voice offered as advice.

With a slight start I looked up from my spot on the couch in the den towards the figure now wavering at a spot by the computer desk.

I chuckled and calmly asked, "Castiel? What did you say?"

By this point in time I had finally grown somewhat accustomed to the angel's unexpected visits, so his sudden appearance didn't startle me as much as it had before.

He was standing beside the computer, swaying somewhat while holding one of the old dusty books Toby had pulled off my shelf and he answered, "What I said, Adelaide, is that you can always beat the Sheriff into understanding your point of view. That seems to be the preferred method for Sam and Dean to get their point across to each other."

"Well, Castiel, as much as I'd love to be to that, I can't be a hypocrite right now," I answered light-heartedly as I took a sip from my glass.

Castiel put the book down and looked at me intently before stating, "He has learned his lesson Adelaide. You three have raised him well, you shouldn't doubt that."

"Thank you Castiel… I appreciate that more than you know."

He took a step forward and stumbled slightly. I quickly stood up and grabbed his trench coat to steady him.

"Cas?"

"Yes Adelaide?"

"Have you been drinking tonight?" I asked as I sat him down on the couch after sniffing his breath again.

"Umm… yes. But I saw that Sam had called and I thought they might still be here…" he answered as he made himself more comfortable.

"No, sorry they left earlier today. Didn't you listen to your voicemail?" I asked while straightening him up again by the collar of his trench coat.

"No… did he leave one?"

I chuckled then replied, "I honestly don't know, I was just assuming he would. Where's your phone?"

After a short struggle, he pulled his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and passed it to me. I looked at the front display and laughed softly.

"See this Cas… right here? It's showing that you have a new voicemail. What's your password?"

When he just shrugged while eyeing my glass intensely and tightening the beige fabric around his torso, I shook my head and chuckled.

_Well hopefully you didn't get too creative when you first got your phone._

I attempted to reach his impending voicemail by using the password of "1234", hoping I could read his mind this time. Thankfully my first attempt was successful and after hearing the start of the message, I quickly pressed 1-1 to replay it and passed the phone back to him.

"Here you go, it's Sam. I'll be right back."

When I returned to the room, Castiel was staring at the darkened screen of his cell phone with his eyebrows furrowed in frustrated contemplation.

"So, I'm guessing it wasn't good news then?" I asked sympathetically.

"It never is with the Winchesters, is it?" He asked while his voice dropped an octave or two.

"Do you have to leave right away or can you stay for a little bit?" I asked standing on the other side of the coffee table.

"No I don't have to leave right away. Why do you ask Adelaide?" He questioned with the most innocent befuddled facial expression I've seen on a grown man's face.

"Well… Dean told me a little bit about what they found out while in Heaven," I answered revealing an unopened bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue. "So… I thought that maybe you would need to talk." I sat down next to the angel and handed him a filled glass saying, "A wise man once told me that when you feel like the world has turned its back on you that it's always best to confide in a friend."

He sniffed the liquid in absentmindedly then stared at the tumbler while swirling its contents before he finally took a drink. "Thank you Adelaide. I have to admit, hearing what Joshua had to say was very…" he took another big gulp and put the empty glass on the table while he tried to find the right word.

As I refilled it, I said, "Difficult? Believe me Cas, I totally understand. You're talking to the girl whose dad spent the better portion of her life telling to keep away because of how unwanted she was. Syd never shied away from telling me how I hindered any chances for him to have true happiness in his life."

I held one of his hands and passed him a refilled drink with the other. "This won't take away the pain, but it'll help to numb it until you're ready to put it all into proper perspective."

"I just can't believe that He's abandoned us, especially now when we need Him the most," he said sadly before taking another long drink.

"Or maybe He hasn't," I countered with a hint of hope.

"No Adelaide, He has. He told Dean to stop looking for Him… that He…" The angel took another drink while he tried to find the words to describe how he was feeling.

"That He gave Sam and Dean some of the best backup He could find to help them fight Lucifer?"

Castiel looked at me over the rim of his glass while he finished the liquid off with his eyebrows turned down in a disapproving frown.

I once again filled the tumbler and passed it back to him.

"Don't give me that look Castiel. The way Dean tells it, God brought you back to life so that you could help the Winchester brothers. In my humblest of opinions, that makes you important to them… and Him."

"Him?" He snickered as he took a drink.

"Yeah 'Him'… you know, Our Father who art not so much in Heaven right now? How many people… or beings can say if they were given the choice that their creators would bring them back to life?" I proposed confidently.

"I don't know if that's true Adelaide…"

I chuckled and shrugged before taking a sip, "Well I don't either, but it's a theory. And Cas… would you please, please, please call me 'Addy'? Please?"

"Why do you dislike people using your given name so much? 'Adelaide' is such a beautiful name."

I once again refilled his drink and replied, "I don't know, I just never have liked people using it. I guess it has something to do with Sydney… uhh my father. It was the only way that he would address me. He never once gave me a pet name, just 'Adelaide', and almost always with a formal tone, like I was a stranger or something. Plus, my mum only used it when I was in big trouble, so no I just have a lot of negative connections to it, you know?"

"No, I still don't completely understand. Sam and Dean are the first people in nearly three millennia that have called me something other than 'Castiel'. But I can appreciate your rationale after that explanation, Addy."

"Thanks Castiel." I smiled and poured more of the honey gold liquid into his glass.

"Addy… how did you deal with your issues with your father all those years?"

I looked up at him and offered a soft sad smile of reflection before replying, "I can't say that I'm the poster girl for dealing with 'Daddy issues' if that's what you're getting at Cas. When I was younger, I had my mum and Poppy to love me along with the Connors. When I'm with them I forget the person I usually have to be to be an effective hunter and get to be a part of their family. You know, get to be normal for a while. Then after mum's passing, I just worked and went on hunting and killing as many evil things as I could find. I guess in the end I just avoided him at all costs, along with any issues we had with work… work plus booze and men."

He gave me a sideways gland and asked, "Booze and men you say?"

"Like I said Castiel, I'm not the best role model. Even though they helped to numb the pain momentarily, I always knew that they wouldn't fix my problem. But… they sure did help to keep my mind off things."

"So then there's no one right way to deal with it?" He asked with a mild tone of defeat.

"Sorry, no there isn't. Unfortunately everyone has to figure it out for themselves, but that doesn't mean that you can't learn from other people's experiences. And I say going on a bender is always a fun way to start," I finished by raising my glass in a silent toast and sipped the drink I had been nursing since the angel had first come to visit.

He finished his drink, glanced at the now nearly empty whiskey bottle and then looked at the display on his phone.

"I think that I have left the Winchesters waiting long enough. I should go now and meet with them," he stated sounding uncharacteristically apologetic.

"Oh, yeah of course you should. No worries, Cas. Please give them both my best."

I stood up as if I was going to be walking him to the door to leave and he wrapped me in an uncomfortable, crushing hug.

"Thank you for the talk Addy. And the drinks."

"No worries Cas… but, umm… you're kind of crushing me," I answered with a gasp into his chest.

"Oh… my apologies."

He took a step back and I could thankfully breathe normally once again.

"It's alright. Just keep in mind, all the hugs you give don't have to be bone crushing," I responded while patting his arm.

"I will," he replied simply and then with that he disappeared.


	7. Say hello to the future

The next day with Toby was amazingly tranquil and civil. By the time I had made my way downstairs, he had already made breakfast (omlettes and toast), brewed a pot of coffee (for me, he still wasn't a java junky yet) and was starting to clean the main floor.

As he struggled to pull the vacuum out of the closet, I helped him by holding the door open for him.

"Hey Addy. I figured that household chores would be included as part of my grounding. I hope I didn't wake you," he explained sheepishly.

"Well to be honest, I hadn't thought of that, but sure, we can include chores to your punishment. And no you didn't wake me at all, don't worry about that. But, Toby, don't you have a lot of work to get done for school?"

He finished struggling with the machine and looked at me to reply, "I finished all of my actual homework last night. All I have left is my paper on bullying that Mr. Burton wants me to write. I did get an outline for it done, though, so I think I'll be able to easily get it written after lunch."

"Wow, really? Buddy I'm so impressed. And thank you so much for making breakfast that was very thoughtful of you." I walked over and gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

He blushed and bashfully replied, "It was no big deal Addy... besides I kind of owe you."

I gave him a soft smile of understanding then went back to the food on my plate. As I ate, Toby started cleaning the windows and counter in the kitchen.

"Umm... Addy? I was wondering..." he started timidly as he was wiping down the island.

"What's up Toby?"

"Umm... I know you said that I wasn't supposed to do any storm tracking right now, but... if I get all my homework and my assignment done... AND clean the house...umm do you think I could help you do some research? I mean... isn't finding a way to stop Lucifer more important than me being grounded?"

I finished my meal and put my plate and cutlery in the dishwasher while contemplating his proposal.

"Well... IF you get your school work done and the house cleaned, upstairs too... then MAYBE you could help me. Once you get all of that done, we'll see, okay?"

"REALLY?!" He asked excitedly.

"Really. And Toby... I said 'maybe'."

"Alright. But 'maybe' is better than an outright 'no'!" He ran over and hugged me tightly. "Thanks Addy!"

"Maybe..." I said softly and shook my head at myself for being such a push over. "I'm going to head out and clean up Phantom so that I can leave you to your chores inside here, okay Tobs?"

"Sure... if you need me to help, just let me know. Oh... and I'll make lunch for us too. How does 12:30 sound?"

"I'll be fine Buddy, thanks. And that sounds perfect for lunch."

I went to my car and pulled my duffle bag out of the trunk to refill it with the empty shotguns and blades that were strewn about inside of the trunk.

_Dammit Addy! Throw shit into duffle bag then duffle bag into trunk before taking off to come home. Man, this gonna take forever to clean up._

I couldn't help but silently reprimand myself because the trunk of my vintage muscle car was an absolute disaster of spent rounds, guns, knives, machetes and worst of all blood. I was usually very careful about putting everything away in my duffle bag so that the post hunt clean up would be as quick and painless as possible. I carried the canvas bag to the garage to clean and reload its contents, but once inside the garage I decided to grab some rags and clean out the blood first. Since this wasn't the first time I've had to give my vehicle a thorough cleaning after a hunt, I kept cleaning supplies handy in a bucket by my gun rack and got to work cleaning the interior of my trunk.

After what felt like hours, I was satisfied that the grey carpeting was as clean as I would be able to get it. I then turned my attention to the various side arms and decided to stock my shotgun rounds with rock salt as my first task to complete. I carried the used cleaning supplies back to the garage and turned on the radio to keep me company.

While I was working, I hummed along to the music and remained completely focused on my tasks until I heard a loud knock at the door. Before answering, I picked up the stereo's remote and lowered the volume.

"COME IN!"

The door opened slowly and a blond head was revealed from under a beige cowboy hat.

"Ads... are you in here?" The sheriff asked timidly.

I was just putting the last couple of rock salt filled rounds into a box before loading them into my duffle bag as I replied, "Yeah, I'm just back here."

As Don approached me; I was wiping down the blade of my mini machete with mineral oil to remove the last remnants of dried blood before placing the blade to a sharpening stone.

The sight of me sharpening my weapon caused him to pause for a moment before he said, "Umm... hey Ads. How's it going?"

Without looking up at him I replied with a somewhat annoyed tone, "I would be even better if these damned things would clean and sharpen themselves."

He chuckled uncomfortably. "Yeah, I guess that would make your life easier. Umm… could we talk for a minute?"

"Sure Don, go ahead," I replied while my attention remained fixed on my lap and my task at hand.

The sheriff placed a manila file folder on the table that separated the two of us and then his hat next to it before he spoke again.

"Ads… umm… I wanted to talk to you about yesterday… " he paused until I stilled my hands and raised my head. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I really don't know what came over me. I could try to give you some excuse about not sleeping much lately because Veronica's in the hospital now and there have been some more complications, but… but I know there's no excuse. I'm so sorry Ads, I'm sorry that I put you in such an awkward position yesterday."

"You're right Don, there is no excuse for what you did," I replied calmly while putting the machete on the table and looking him in the eye. "And even though I do forgive you… I can't go over this with you again. If you don't stop then I just… I just can't help you anymore Don."

"I know, I know and I really am so sorry. I swear I have no idea what came over me, honest… I have no idea why I would… "

"Alright, alright Don, fine, but seriously it CANNOT happen again. Okay?" I stated firmly while wiping the honing oil off my blade and placing it in its black leather sheath before putting it in my duffle bag.

"Understood," he confirmed with a nod. "So, umm… can I follow this apology up with me asking you for a favor?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Of course you can Don. How can I help?"

He picked up the file folder and slowly passed it over the table. I noticed that he was trying to keep from getting the stray rock salt all over his uniform sleeve, so I apologized as I took the folder saying, "Oh sorry about the mess… I swear no matter how careful I am this stuff seems to get all over the place."

"Oh, that's no problem. You've got to do what you've got to do, right? So… the long and the short is that I don't know if this case falls under your expertise or not, but I'm completely stumped. Plus I figured that even if it wasn't, you know… part of your specialty, that you might see something that I missed."

As he gave his brief explanation, I started flipping through the pages of the police report and scanned it for keywords that would help me determine if it was supernatural or not.

"So… it's only been cattle? No other livestock, at all?" I asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, that's the weird part. Which is also part of the reason why I thought you might be able to help," he continued with a mild tone of exasperation.

"I'll look this over after lunch and get back to you Don."

"Hey Addy! Lunch is ready!" Toby exclaimed happily as he came through the open door. "Oh… hey Sheriff, how's it going?"

Don picked up his hat and as he placed it on his head replied, "Thanks Ads, I appreciate any help you can give me." And then he turned to Toby and smiled, "Hey Toby, I'm doing pretty good, thanks. How 'bout you?"

Toby kept his hands hidden behind his back because he was still embarrassed by the scabbed lacerations that were still clearly visible on his knuckles. "I'm okay, sir."

The sheriff knelt down in front of Toby and continued in a softer concerned tone, "If you ever need someone to talk to Toby, please feel free to call me, okay?"

Toby nodded while blushing slightly and I offered him an encouraging smile, "Thanks Sheriff Lamb, I appreciate that and I promise I will sir. I promise, no more fighting."

Don smiled and nodded, "That's good to hear." He stood up and then faced back towards me, "And I can't wait to hear what you come up with Ads. Thanks again."

After the sheriff exited the garage, Toby walked over to where I was still seated and started cleaning up my sharpening supplies.

"So… are you helping the Sheriff with a case?"

I closed the folder, held it close to my chest and threw Toby an amused glare. "Maybe… but you're still grounded, remember?"

"Addy…" he whined as he put away the last of the supplies. "I got all the cleaning done and lunch is made."

"Okay, but…" I continued while cocking an eyebrow. "What about your assignment?"

He pouted then replied, "Not yet, but like I said the outline is done and I have all my research ready."

"Okay, well… in that case, yes, Don did ask me to help him out with a case."

"Really! What's the case about?" Toby asked excitedly as he followed me through the garage door into the yard.

"I don't really know yet… maybe once you're done your paper I'll know more," I answered as I gave him a playful noogie.

"Addy, come on I'll get it done, I swear… pretty please tell me what it's about, please," he protested.

I chuckled loudly before I answered, "Seriously Toby, I'm not sure yet and neither is Don. I have to look the police report over in depth before I know for sure. Really, I'm not teasing about that."

"Oh… so if I get my paper written, then maybe I could help you figure the case out?" He asked as he opened the back door for me.

"Toby, we'll see, okay Buddy. We'll see…"

Toby then dished lunch for the both of us to sit and enjoy the Mac and Cheese he had so expertly prepared. Well I sat and ate it; Toby practically inhaled his plateful so that he could rush into the den to get working on his paper on bullying for his principal. His enthusiasm and focus made me chuckle because his eyes remained completely focused on the computer, even when I came into the den to get some books to help me with research on more than one occasion.

After a few hours, I had completely taken over the entire kitchen table with books and note pads.

"I'm all done Addy!" Toby announced triumphantly while passing me the four page paper over my latest set of notes. "Did you want to read it?"

I looked up and could help but smile because I was feeling so relieved that I had the old Toby back and my heart swelled with pride at his passion and dedication.

"Sure Buddy. How about a trade? I think I need a new set of eyes to help me make heads or tails out of all of this," I answered as I passed a set of my notes along with the police file over to him.

"Really?" He asked as he nearly snatched the manila folder out of my hand with excitement.

I started reading his paper and soon became misty eyed because the words he had written highlighted his unbelievably beautiful and kind heart. Castiel's words from the night before came to mind as I was reminded that Bill and Maureen had laid a perfect foundation for Toby's life ethically, morally and spiritually. He had somehow worked everything his parents had taught him into the assignment effortlessly. I snickered when I noted that he had even managed to skillfully work in a few hunting analogies.

When I had finished reading the last page, I looked up and remained silent for a few moments as I watched Toby fervently writing notes and checking facts in one of the old texts.

"Toby?" I started tentatively because I really didn't want to disturb him as he worked.

"Mhmm…" he replied without looking up from his new project.

"Toby? This is amazing. It's really… really great. I'm so proud of you."

He finally looked up and blushed slightly embarrassed by the compliment.

"Thanks Addy," he replied bashfully.

"So… Buddy… do you think you got the point of this assignment? Do you understand why Mr. Burton had you research this topic?" I asked while cringing a bit on the inside because I could feel myself taking on a foreign motherly tone as I spoke.

"Yes, I know exactly why Mr. Burton wanted me to write it," he replied with a half smile. "Honestly Addy, I've learned my lesson; fighting isn't the answer and just because you can beat someone up that's bigger than you, doesn't mean you should. I promise, next time I'll just walk away, no matter what hurtful things someone says."

"Okay good… because I really don't like having to be this Addy," I replied with a warm smile. "So did you find anything useful that I missed?"

"Well, at first I thought it might be Pestilence," Toby answered as he passed me a book about the Four Horsemen opened to a page showing a drawing of a similar scene. "But there was no sign of disease here, the cows just dropped dead. Then I thought maybe it was vampires…"

When he paused I prompted him asking, "But?" I then smiled and stared at him, utterly amazed at his attention to detail.

"But they weren't exsangu… exsang… their blood wasn't drained," he continued while looking over some of our notes.

"Okay, so no exsanguinations … I caught that too. I was starting to lean towards ritualistic killing," I offered hopefully. After reading Toby's paper, I didn't think that my smile could get any wider, but working with Toby again made me so ecstatic that my cheeks were now starting to ache.

"Yeah… maybe. It does seem like a way for a demon to recharge…" While he was deep in contemplation, Toby looked up at me and gave me a curious look. "Addy… are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just so thankful that we've fallen back into our old routine so easily," I explained. "So I was thinking… maybe we should call Bobby to see what he says."

Toby's face shifted from one of confusion to calm happiness and he responded modestly, "I think Bobby could help too. I'll heat up dinner while you call him."

He walked over and stopped at the fridge then look back towards the kitchen table where I was seated and added, "Addy I really missed working with you too."

As he prepared our meals, I called Bobby to get his input on the situation. He agreed with our assessment that the cattle deaths could possibly be pointing to demon activity. It seemed that the events in Kidder coincided with a lot of other activity that he had been about from other hunters with whom he kept close in contact.

" _It actually looks like it might be part of a spell to determine the last know location for a demon Addy,_ " Bobby explained.

I shut off the speaker phone feature off and turned so that my back was facing Toby, "Bobby… you don't think that this has anything to do with Meg do you?"

" _Honestly Koala Bear, yes, yes I do. I'm sorry, but it just makes the most sense,_ " Bobby replied remorsefully.

I let out a soft sigh. "It's okay Bobby, it's not your fault. At least we know now, so we can start taking some extra precautions. If you find anything else out, please let us know."

" _You know I will darlin'. Now if you need me to come out there, you just say the word, okay?_ " he said with loving concern.

"I promise I will Bobby. We should be fine… I've been driving Toby to school, so I'll just make sure that he's extra careful when he's away from home. Thanks again, we'll talk to you soon."

" _Good to hear. Take care out there Koala Bear._ "

After I hung up the phone, I turned slowly away from the window. Toby had dished our dinner and had already placed it on the table.

"Aww thanks Buddy, this smells great," I commented as I started to dig into my plate of food.

As I started to eat, Toby just stared at me and asked in a very unimpressed tone, "Addy, come on… what were you and Bobby talking about so quietly?"

I shrugged while I chewed on my food and he slammed his fork down beside his plate while asserting, "Addy! I'm not joking. You and Bobby were talking about the case and I want to know what you were saying… please?"

I swallowed hard and took a drink of water before meekly answering, "We think we know what it is… well at least why it's here."

His face immediately lit up as he asked, "Awesome! What is it? Why is it here?"

My mouth suddenly felt drier than any desert I had seen as I tried to reply strongly, "A demon… and we think it's looking for Meg."

Toby's face turned as white as my own then we both lost our appetites as we stared at each other from across the table. I regained my faculties first and I swooped over to kneel at Toby's side and held him tightly.

"Buddy, don't worry… I'll figure out a way to destroy this thing, okay? And Bobby will help me and we can call Dean and Sam to help too… we'll get this thing. You still have the amulet I gave you, right?" He nodded as he pulled out the familiar pendent that warded off demon possession to show me. "Okay… good. So you have nothing to worry about, okay? Toby… we'll figure this out, okay? You… you just worry about school and your mom. You understand Buddy?"

He nodded as he replied, "Yeah… okay… I understand Addy."

We looked at each other as tears brimmed our eyes and he asked, "I'm not feeling that hungry… is it okay if I go to bed now?"

I stood up and squeezed his shoulders lovingly while answering, "Of course you can Toby. I'll clean up the dishes. Do you have everything ready for school tomorrow?"

He placed his plate by the sink and nodded. "Yeah, I do," he whispered.

"Toby…" I started trying to comfort him before I wrapped him in another tight hug. "Try to get some rest and try not to worry. I love you Buddy."

"I will…" he replied slowly. "I mean I'll try my best. I love you too Addy. G'night."

He released himself from my grasp and made his way to his room as quickly as possible. I then absentmindedly cleared the plates and dishes before following Toby's lead and crawled into bed.


	8. You Can Move Through Time in One Direction

Over the next couple of days, Toby and I fell into a routine of him going to school and us continuing our research together after class. When we were together eating or researching, Toby remained fairly quiet despite my efforts to console him that he wasn't to blame for what was happening right now to our friends and neighbors.

After mapping out the locations of the cattle deaths and exhausting all of the other avenues of research, I felt that I had enough information to fill the Sheriff in on what we thought was happening.

"So that's basically it Don. I don't know where it is right now, but I'm working on it. Hopefully it got the info it wanted and has left town," I stated as I finished my explanation.

" _Oh God Addy, I had no idea that Toby went through all of that when he was kidnapped. But you killed the demon… Meg was it?_ "

"Yeah and the vampire too… well wait, no I didn't, Dean did. But in any case, they're definitely dead."

" _Dean… Dean Winchester?_ " He clarified with a slight sneer.

"Don, please don't do that. We were being so civil. Just… don't start, please?" I pleaded.

" _Sorry, I'll be good now Addy. Okay…so where do…_ "

"Crap… sorry Don, I have to go," I interrupted. "There's someone at the door. I'll call you when I know more, okay?"

I hung up the phone before he could reply and placed it on the coffee table beside the mountains of books that Toby and I had been using before I made my way to the backdoor.

After opening it, I stared dumbfounded, but somehow managed to mumble, "Dean?"

He didn't say a word before he scooped me up into his arms and engulfed my mouth with his own. Our lips remained feverishly connected as I stumbled backwards until I hit the island. Dean roughly lifted me up onto the counter top and I wrapped my legs around him to pull him closer to me.

He unbuttoned my shirt was he trailed kisses down my neck and started to nibbled on the scar on my collarbone. It had quickly become his new favorite spot to send exciting shivers though my entire body.

"Dean…" I moaned blissfully as I slipped his jacket off his shoulders.

He leaned back and discarded my shirt onto the floor and smiled coyly asking, "Is Toby at school?"

I nodded then giggled softly and pulled his shirts up over his head before pulling his lips back to mine. As I laced my fingers through his hair, Dean lift me off the counter top and carried me into the den so that we could flop onto the couch. We both worked at removing our own jeans before Dean gently lowered himself down on top of me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist again as we made love as gently as we did our first time together in the back of Dean's Impala. Dean took his time and made sure that every touch, ever caress and every thrust radiated intensely through both of our bodies.

"Oh my God Dean… that was amazing!" I breathlessly panted as I pet his face and pecked his lips.

We shifted so that we were facing each other on the couch and we tangled our legs together to maintain our closeness. Dean pulled down a fleece blanket from the back of the couch as I pulled myself closer to his torso and kissed his neck.

Under the blanket, Dean rubbed my back while whispering into my ear, "It sounded like I 'amazed' you, what two… three times?"

"Dean!" I exclaimed while laughing quietly and lightly slapping his chest. He cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "For the record… it was three times," I answered with a mock begrudged tone.

He grinned from ear to ear as he pushed some sweaty hair out of my face and kissed me softly. We laid on our sides holding each other for a while in comfortable silence and then I liberated my right hand to stroke his nose with my index finger.

"Dean? What is it? What happened now?" I questioned with subtle concern in my voice, although I could feel absolute panic setting in.

He stilled my hand and guided it back around his waist before combing my hair with his fingers and pulling me into another loving kiss.

I gently push him back and released myself from his embrace.

"Dean… come on, please? What is it? Please just tell me, please?" I calmly pleaded as I caressed his face with my right hand. "Please?"

He liberated his hand from my hair and wiped a tear from my eye. "It's okay, no worries Lay," he explained affectionately before kissing me again. "I just needed to see you so I could tell you that everything is going to be okay. I'm going to make sure you and Toby are safe no matter what happens from here on out."

"Dean… what? What do you…?"

He interrupted my question with another kiss. "Lay, that's not for you to be worried about. Just know that when it's all said and done, you and our son will be safe, okay?"

I stared into his eyes as they sparkled with loving determination. Dean's true intentions finally dawned on me, so I untangled myself from his arms and let myself fall off of the couch. Without saying a word, I quickly found my underwear and slipped them on along with my jeans.

"Dean… you… you're not seriously thinking…" I started as I turned to face him while fastening the button of my jeans.

He was now sitting up on the couch and was dressing underneath the blanket.

"Lay…" he quietly interrupted to protest.

"NO DEAN! NO!" I countered loudly in near hysterics as I fastened my bra. "So what? You come here for one last roll in the hay before you say 'Yes' and give yourself over to… to… those dicks? Isn't that what you call them?"

"It's not like that Lay," he explained meekly from his place on the couch. "I didn't come here for… you know. I honestly just came here to talk with you and to reassure you that you have nothing to worry about. I needed you to know how much I love you and that I'm doing this to make sure that you two will be out of harm's way no matter what happens."

The pain in his eyes as he spoke demonstrated to me that what he was saying was the truth. I took a deep, calming breath and sat down beside him. I held his hands and turned his face towards me so that I could wipe away some tears and give him a kiss.

"I'm sorry Dean I know you didn't just come here for sex. I shouldn't have said that," I apologized quietly. "But… you aren't actually thinking of saying 'Yes' are you? You aren't…? You can't…"

Dean held my head in his hand and I closed my eyes as he caressed my cheek with his thumb. The look in his eyes stole my words away and caused me to completely lose my train of thought.

"Lay, I have to… there's just no other way," he replied while placing his forehead against mine.

"There has to be another way Dean," I pleaded to which he simply leaned back and shook his head.

I straddled his lap before he could move to stand up and pulled his lips to mine. "There is Dean, I know there is. I have a theory and I think that it could work," I explained excitedly as I held his face in my hands and he placed his on the small of my back to help to hold me steady. "Toby and I have been doing a TON of research about different rituals for locating and summoning demons… please don't ask why, it's not important. But… I think I found one for Lucifer. We can go find him while he's still in that Nick guy, then we could use…"

I was beaming and hopeful as I spoke while he rubbed my nearly bare back. He then pulled me into a deep kiss to interrupt my rambling. As he stood up I wrapped my legs around him and started to kiss him more passionately thinking that I had gotten through to him and that he was signaling the end of the seventh inning stretch. To my surprise, after he was standing, Dean turned and sat me down on the couch again.

"Dean?" I asked as he looked down at me shaking his head.

"That won't work Lay," he replied as he turned to go into the kitchen.

I jumped off the couch and followed him calling, "Why not Dean? Why wouldn't it work?"

Dean had just finished slipping on his blue button up shirt and picked up my plaid blouse off the floor.

As he handed it to me he answered almost angrily, "It just won't, okay? **I** have to do this and that's final, understand?"

I looked up at him as I fastened a couple of buttons on my shirt and felt my heart sink into my stomach.

"Because you started it," I asked just above a whisper.

Dean completely avoided eye contact and sat down at the breakfast nook to start lacing up his boots. I knelt down in front of him and held his cheek in order to get him to look at me.

"I'm sorry Lay, but I have to…" he quietly started to explain.

"No, I get it now Dean, I do…" I interrupted trying to have my tone match the love that was swelling in my heart. "You put on such a brave face all the time that I forgot about the guilt that you must be feeling. But Dean…" I placed my hand on his heart and he covered it with his own. "If we find another way to stop him… wouldn't that still give you a chance for redemption?"

He smiled warmly and squeezed my hand.

"Well?" I asked before he leaned down and softly kissed my lips.

"Lay… this is still the best way," he answered remorsefully while shaking his head.

I stood up and walked over to the island as I felt the tears I had been trying to force back finally welling up in my eyes. Dean walked up behind me, kissed my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Lay… I love you more…"

I turned around in his arms and smiled with tears now streaming down my cheeks, "With every breath?"

He chuckled, kissed my cheeks through the tears and replied, "Yeah, that… and I fall in love with you more and more every day."

"I love you too Dean and I know that you've made up your mind, so I won't fight you on this anymore. I'm here to support you, no matter how crazy your plan sounds to me."

We smiled at each other, I sniffled once or twice and Dean dried my left cheek with his sleeve as he leaned in to kiss me. "But…" I continued before our lips connected.

Dean pushed himself back and looked at me with furrowed brows. "But?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head sounding beyond confused.

"But, I don't want you to make a deal for me," I continued more assertively while drying my cheeks with my sleeve. "If you want to guarantee Toby's safety, that's wonderful, but don't… don't do that for me."

"What? I don't understand… why not?"

I took another breath and started to feel increasingly more calm and confident as I continued to explain, "Well, I'm going to keep hunting and if you're gone then I'd rather that we let nature takes its course without any angelic interventions."

"Lay, you don't mean that…" Dean started with concern creeping into his voice.

"I do… with you gone, I'll be left here all alone, so what's the point in being guaranteed safety?"

"Lay," he protested as he pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair with my head against his shoulder. "You won't be alone, you'll have Toby."

I shook my head saying, "No, no I won't." I pushed him back gently so that I could look him in the eye and gave him a sad, weak smile. "He's not mine Dean. Once Maureen's out of the hospital, he'll go home and then I'll be completely alone again."

"Oh Lay…"

"Dean, I'm not trying to guilt you into anything, really I'm not. It's just, if you want me to be okay with you saying 'Yes', then you have to let me live my life too. It's not like I'm going to be reckless and try to get hurt, but if something happens, I'd rather know that I'd be going my own way, on my own terms, you know? Please, promise me that you won't make me a part of any deals. Please?"

"But I want to know that you'll be safe," he countered as he caressed my face.

"I've made it this far," I offered lightheartedly with a shrug. "Please Dean, it's only fair. You have to promise me, you have to…"

"Okay Lay, I promise, I promise," he conceded quietly has he pulled close into a tight hug.

We stood there holding each other in silence and I tried my best to commit everything I could about Dean to memory. I was finally being allowed to say a proper goodbye to him, so I wanted to make sure that I took this chance to get his scent and the feel of his body to be imprinted on my brain.

After what felt like hours, Dean kissed me softly and said, "I love you so much. Thank you for understanding and supporting me in doing this."

I smiled sorrowfully saying "I still don't like it, but I love you too much not to back you."

"Thank you Lay, thank you for that."

He kissed me softly again, held my face for a moment then turned to pick up his jacket.

"Wait… aren't you going to say goodbye to Toby?"

He turned around once he had his jacket on and shook his head.

"No, I have to get going, but…" he pulled out an envelope out of the inner pocket of his jacket and placed it in my hands. "If he ever does find out the truth… you know about us… could you give this to him for me?"

"Of course," I assured him just barely over a whisper.

He held my hands as we both held onto the envelope. "And please tell him how much I… I…" He closed his eyes to regroup his thoughts then opened them and smiled warmly. "He's such a cool kid, you know and I'm more than convinced that he's going to grow up to be a great man. Please, tell him…tell him that I'm proud of him."

While we stood there holding each others' hands, tears were streaming down our cheeks and I nodded saying, "I will… I promise he will always know how much we all love him. I promise Dean."

Dean held my face in his hands, smiled and then placed a final determined kiss on my lips.

"Stay safe Lay. I love you."

I shuddered through a sob and barely managed to choke out, "I love you too."

Dean then quickly turned and left while I stood frozen in my spot staring at the white envelope with "TOBY" written in black block letters. After a while, I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose as I walked into the living room. I was still staring at the envelope when I sat on the couch, curious what the contents of its letter might be.

"Addy? Are you home?" Toby's voice called from the back door.

I quickly grabbed a book, slipped the envelope inside it and stacked a couple of random texts on top of it before calling out, "Yeah Tobs, I'm in the living room."

"Hey Buddy, what are you doing home so early?" I asked as he flopped on the couch beside me.

"I forgot it was a half day, so Mr. McLean offered to drive me home after I finished my work with him. So… anything new on the demon trail?" He explained with a warm smile, but then his tone quickly shifted to one of concern when he had taken a better look at my face. "Addy? What is it? What happened?"

"Dean dropped by today…"

"He did! Awesome! How is he? Why did he drop by? Does he need your help with a job? Is he coming back later?" Toby started asking in his signature rapid fire fashion that he uses when he's excited and feels like he must get every question on his mind out when it pops in or else he might forget to ask it.

"Toby… Toby, slow down there Buddy," I chuckled as I replied. "No, he won't be coming back and no he wasn't coming by to ask me for help with a job or anything. He stopped by because… because he's going to say 'Yes' to Michael so that they can stop Lucifer," I explained quietly not really being able to mask my sadness.

Toby slid over on the couch and wrapped me in his arms. "Oh Addy…"

I rubbed his back and kissed his head before saying, "It's okay Buddy. Dean… he… he has to do this."

He looked up and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Is he going to be alright?"

"I don't know Toby, I really don't. But we have to let him do this and we can't… we shouldn't worry ourselves too much about it because there's nothing we can do to stop him. You have so much to worry…"

"I'll pray for him… everyday," he interrupted with a warm smile.

"That's a really good idea Toby, it really is. I guess that's the best way we can help him now." I ran my hand over his forehead and smiled. "So, I was thinking… I saw a new sushi place in town and I thought that maybe we could have a quick visit with your mom and then we could pick some up for dinner on the way home. You keep saying you want to try it, so I thought you might be feeling adventurous enough now."

"Sure, that sounds like a really good idea. I'll take my bag upstairs and then I'll be right down."

"Okay… well I should get cleaned up, so I'll meet you at the car when I'm done."


	9. If I Place This Face In Carbon Freeze

" _ **Yeah she's resting now and we have more than enough Ginger Ale to spare. I even found some fresh ginger to make tea even too."**_

" **Thanks Buddy, but are you sure that I shouldn't head back to help you out?"** _ **Dean asked as he was driving down an open stretch of highway.**_

" _ **No, that's okay. I'm pretty sure it's just food poisoning, so she should be over it by tomorrow. I can handle it, no worries."**_

_**Dean chuckled,** _ **"Sushi? Really? In Iowa? Who would have thought that that would be a good idea?"**

_**I walked into the den drinking yet another glass of water and overheard Toby laughing and saying, "Seriously, right? I know! But she said that she had a craving, so…"** _

" _ **Toby? Who are you talking to?" I questioned as I stepped up behind him.**_

_**Toby jumped a little in his chair, turned from the computer and gave me a sheepish grin, "No one?" he answered with a shrug.** _

" _ **Tobias…" I asserted firmly while putting my hand out for him to give me the phone.**_

" _ **Sorry… I'll talk to you later," he quickly whispered into the phone before placing it in my outstretched hand.**_

" **Lay, now don't be upset with him. Toby was just doing the daily check-in like he supposed to when I'm on the road** _ **," Dean protested as soon as I got the handset to my ear.**_

" _ **I know, but I just don't want you to worry. I'm fine Dean, really."**_

" **I know that you'll be okay, but food poisoning can be pretty nasty, so can you blame him for worrying?** _ **"**_

" _ **No… but, I'm fine," I reaffirmed.**_

" **I hear you Lay…"** _ **Dean started to say.**_

" _ **No Dean," I interrupted. "I mean, I AM fine, like right at this moment I'm fine."**_

" **What? I… I don't think I understand,** _ **" Dean admitted sounding confused.**_

_**Toby looked over at me from the computer and gave me a quizzical look that matched Dean's tone. I patted an empty spot on the couch and wrapped my arm around Toby's neck once he was cuddled in beside me.** _

" _ **I was hoping to tell you in person when you got back… but I guess that so long as we're all somewhat together, that's all that really matters," I explained as I smiled down at Toby running my hand up and down his arm while his eyebrows were still furrowed into a deep scowl to show his confusion.**_

" **Hold on, I'll pull over if you need to tell me something important,** _ **" Dean interjected. "**_ **Okay Lay, what's going on?** _ **"**_

" _ **Oh God Dean, I didn't mean to scare you," I couldn't help but chuckle a bit while I replied. "Okay… here goes… today isn't the first day that I've been running to pray to the porcelain gods… it's just the first day that Toby has caught me…"**_

" **Okay…** _ **"**_

" _ **And the last time I felt like this was almost twelve years ago… give or take a few months…"**_

_**Toby sat back and was no beaming with recognition of what I was trying to describe.** _

" _ **Put it on speaker! I want to hear his reaction!" He whispered excitedly.**_

" **Okay Lay, so you've been sick like this before… and?"** _ **Dean asked still sounding uncertain.**_

_**Toby and I shared a small laugh. I shrugged at him while Toby shook his head with his eyes closed and a huge grin on his face.** _

" _ **Dad! Please tell that you aren't this dense!" Toby managed to get out before laughing a little bit harder.**_

" **I'm sorry Buddy… I'm not quite understanding what you and your mom are trying to get at.** _ **"**_

" _ **Toby, take it easy on him… your dad has been dealing with a lot at work… Okay, how about this then? Yes, I have felt like this before and after nine months I was blessed with one of the most beautiful miracles on the planet." I finished by lightly petting Toby's left cheek.**_

" _ **Muuummm!" Toby whined as he blushed with embarrassment.**_

" **Lay… does that mean that you're… that we're… that we're going to have a baby?"** _ **Dean asked slowly.**_

" _ **I just got the call today from the doctor to confirm it."**_

" **Lay! That's awesome! I'm turning around to head home right now!"** _ **Dean exclaimed enthusiastically.**_

" _ **Dean, it's okay. Go… finish the job. There's still lots of time for you to experience the insanity of my pregnancy," I reassured him.**_

" _ **Plus, I'm here Dad. I'll watch out for Mum until you get home," Toby called out as he walked into the kitchen to get a snack.**_

_**After Toby had left the room, I turned off the speaker phone function to continue my conversation with Dean with more privacy.** _

" _ **Dean, really... I'll feel better knowing that you've helped Sam take care of that Chupacabra."**_

" **But Lay,"** _ **he protested softly.**_ **"I miss out on everything with Toby…"**

" _ **I know Dean, I know… but I promise you won't miss out on the important stuff this time. I swear, you'll have more than ample opportunity to start corrupting our second child from the beginning…"**_

_******************************A Few Months Later******************************* _

" _ **Dean?" I asked breathlessly through his kisses.**_

" _ **What is it Lay?" He replied as he smiled down at me and moved a stray lock of hair out of my face.**_

" _ **I heard you talking with Sam yesterday… if he needs your help, you should go with him. We'll call if there are any changes."**_

_**He leaned down and kissed my lips while rubbing my enormous belly.** _

" _ **I already told him that I'm not going anywhere until you pop. Don't worry; it's nothing that can't wait a bit longer."**_

_**I ran my hand through his hair and lightly twisted a small tuft. "But I know you must be going stir crazy being stuck here in the house for so long… I'm sorry…"** _

" _ **Lay… it's not your fault that you're past your due date," he replied dismissively while finishing by leaning down and kissing my belly.**_

" _ **Mum! Dad… are you decent?" Toby called from the other side of our bedroom door.**_

" _ **Come on in Buddy," Dean called out as he helped me get seated upright against the headboard.**_

" _ **Uncle Sam made breakfast…" Toby started to explain as he walked in, but he got distracted as he bee-lined to rub my belly. "Man… when is it finally gonna finally come out?"**_

" _ **Toby!" I chastised with a chuckle.**_

" _ **What?" He questioned with exaggerated innocence. "Wasn't it due like over a week ago?"**_

" _ **Toby! When your little brother or sister comes, do you really want to live with the memory of calling them 'It' for so many months?"**_

" _ **Well… if you and dad hadda found out if you were having a boy or girl like Uncle Sam and I wanted, the I could call them 'he' or 'she'," he countered teasingly. "But I'll stop now… sorry Mum."**_

_**I tilted his chin up and smiled down at him because my large belly impeded my ability to kiss him on the forehead. "Thanks Buddy. So… what is it? What do you want?"** _

" _ **Wha--? How?" Toby asked dumbfounded.**_

" _ **Toby you're probably better off not knowing how your mom does it," Dean answered patting the young boy on the back before sitting on the bed by my feet.**_

" _ **Well… you and dad said that I could start learning more about hunting…" he started as he rubbed my belly.**_

" _ **Okay? And?" I asked as I stroked his hand that maintained constant contact with his sibling who was kicking like crazy.**_

" _ **And… Uncle Sam said that if it was okay with you guys…umm… that he would take me for target practice," he explained slowly while staring at his hands.**_

" _ **Sure Buddy that's no problem. Everything that you need is in the cabinet in the garage. And I don't care what your Uncle says; you have to wear protective gear, okay? Eyes and ears, young man."**_

" _ **Yes ma'am! I promise! Thanks mum!" He leaned over and kissed my cheek before running out the door calling, "She said 'Yes' Uncle Sam! She said 'Yes'!"**_

" _ **That was nice of you," Dean commented as I put my hand out for him to help me off the bed. "But, I have to admit, I'm kind or surprised you're fine with him learning to shoot already."**_

" _ **Well… ow… I was younger than him when my mum first taught me… ow… and in any case _ **…**_ I think it's…" I sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, "… better if he's… ow… distracted for the next little while anyway…" I hissed in another deep breath.**_

" _ **Lay? Are you alright?"**_

_**I clenched his arm in a death grip and steady myself on his torso. "Well Daddy… I think our days of debating if it's a boy or girl are over."** _

" _ **Holy shit! Now? Okay… where's your suitcase? And your jacket? And…"**_

_********************************************************************************** _

" _ **Mary? Baby? How about you go play in your room now?"**_

" _ **Okay mummy," she replied cheerfully as she carried her toys upstairs to her room.**_

_**I ran to the front door from the window and threw it open.** _

" _ **Oh my God! Toby! Toby! Dean… what happened?" I shrieked in near hysterics as Dean and Sam carried the half conscious body of our now eighteen year old son into the house.**_

" _ **Lay, we got the hex bag, so he's going to be fine," Dean finally answered after he and Sam had dumped Toby's weight onto the couch.**_

" _ **I'll go get him a glass of water," Sam offered as he rushed into the kitchen while I stood frozen for a moment.**_

_**I finally took a deep breath to calm myself and knelt down beside Toby and wiped his face with a towel that Dean had retrieved from the bathroom.** _

" _ **Toby… baby…" I whispered as I tried to keep from completely breaking down.**_

" _ **Mum… I'm not a baby," he whispered hoarsely with a smirk on his face.**_

_**I allowed myself a chuckle as I felt Dean's reassuring hand rub across my back as he wrapped his arm around my waist. He had found a spot to kneel beside me and helped to keep me from wavering too much more.** _

" _ **Here Addy, this should help," Sam announced as he handed me a glass of water.**_

" _ **Thanks Sam… and as for you young man… I'm your mother so I reserve the right to call you my baby whenever I want to. Now sit up so that we can get some fluids back into you."**_

_**He obliged and shifted so that he could take a large gulp out of the glass.** _

" _ **Hey mum, do you think I could get something a little stronger?" Toby inquired while cocking an eyebrow, doing his best to mimic an expression his father had used on numerous occasions while trying to get his way in the past.**_

" _ **Your Uncle Sam might be able to get you a Coke, if that's what you mean," I replied glaring at Sam who was ducking into the den as he avoided making eye contact. "Or your dad could get you a Gatorade," I continued as I turned my irritated gazed to the man at my left side.**_

" _ **Oh… Lay, you know I… I wouldn't ever let him…" Dean started as a proclamation of his innocence.**_

" _ **Daddy? DADDY!" A tiny voice called out from the top of the stairs.**_

" _ **Daddy! You're home!" The small six year old blond exclaimed as she ran down the stairs.**_

" _ **Hey Roo," Dean replied as she jumped off the stairs into his arms and he kissed her forehead.**_

" _ **I told Mummy that you would be home soon," she stated confidently as she wrapped her small hands around his neck to steady herself in his arms. "I told her!"**_

" _ **Oh yeah?"**_

" _ **Yeah! You promised you would be home for my recital," she proclaimed triumphantly.**_

" _ **I did promise that, didn't I?" He replied as he carried her over to the couch to say 'Welcome Home' to her brother.**_

_**I was now sitting on the edge of the couch by Toby's knees still helping him drink his glass of water, despite his protests that he could do it on his own.** _

" _ **Daddy? Is Toby going to be okay?" Mary tried to whisper into her dad's ear, but her concern for her brother negated her ability to hush her tone.**_

" _ **You better believe he will," Sam answered as he reemerged into the room with another glass of liquid.**_

" _ **Uncle Sammy!" She exclaimed as she twisted in her father's arms and threw her own arms out towards his brother.**_

" _ **Here Toby, this will help your stomach. Addy… I swear, it's just Alka Seltzer," he defended in my direction.**_

" _ **Thanks Sam," I said with a small apologetic smile.**_

_**Mary still had her arms stretched out while opening and closing her fists attempting to entice her uncle to hug her even faster.** _

" _ **Hey there Pint-Size!" He exclaimed as he stole her from Dean's arms.**_

" _ **Daddy didn't tell me you would be coming home with them!" She squealed while hugging his neck tightly.**_

" _ **I wanted it to be a surprise," he replied while hugging her close and twirling her in a half circle.**_

_**Dean sat down beside me to check on Toby and mumbled, "And what am I know? Chopped liver?"** _

_**I squeezed his thigh and kissed his cheek. "Welcome to my world. What do you think happens when she hears the Impala coming down the driveway?"** _

" _ **Oh Lay… you know you're her favoritest mum in the whole wide world," Dean teased as he pulled me into a kiss.**_

_**Toby groaned loudly then started to complain saying, "Ugh… gross… why don't you two get a room? You know some of us…"** _

I woke up and felt the undeniable urge to vomit so I ran into my bathroom and expelled some of the undigested sushi I had eaten the night before and remained on my knees until the worst of the nausea passed. After taking a few deep breaths, I stood up and gulped a large handful of cold water from the tap at the bathroom's sink.

"Ugh… fuck, worst sushi ever," I said out loud to no one in particular.

Before heading downstairs, I threw on an over sized hoody and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. At the top of the stairs I heard the sound of two muffled voices and hurried into the kitchen allowing myself to get my hopes up that it was Toby talking to the elder of the Winchesters.

"…didn't say when he left but apparently…" Toby cut himself off when he saw me in the doorway holding my mid-section tightly.

Sam quickly whipped around and gave me a warm smile. "Hey Addy."

I contained my near uncontrollable urge to cry and ran into his arms to give him a tight hug. "Hey Sam," I responded into his chest.

I leaned back and managed to give him a weak smile. Sam held my face and smoothed my hair between his hands while his eyebrows were turned down in a sympathetic frown.

"No offense Addy, but you look like hell. Are you doing alright?" He asked with worried concern in his tone.

I chuckled softly and replied, "None taken Sam… I just had some bad sushi last night so my stomach's none too happy with me right now. I'll be fine though, no worries."

"Sushi? Really? In Iowa? Who would have thought that that would be a good idea?" Sam asked with no attempts to hide his amusement.

"I tried to tell her that eating raw fish wasn't a good choice, but she wouldn't listen to me. Apparently she's had it before and it was amazingly good when she was in San Francisco," Toby announced with a slightly smug tone.

Sam helped me to the breakfast nook and sat across from me once I was somewhat comfortable.

"Okay, okay, I've learned my lesson. Next time I will listen to your sound advice Toby and I'll go with the stir fry," I conceded while throwing my hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"That's good to hear," Toby replied with a slightly cocky grin while placing a mug of tea and stack of saltines in front of me. "It's ginger tea Addy… it should help settle your stomach."

I squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Buddy, I'm sure it will."

"Well… I have homework to do, so I'll let you and Sam talk," Toby said with a small smile before giving Sam a quick hug. "It was good to see you again Sam."

"Yeah… you too Toby," Sam replied softly giving him a small squeeze.

After Toby had left the room, Sam refocused his attention on me as I washed down a mouthful of crackers with a large drink of tea.

"So… how's Toby holding up? I mean… homework, on a Saturday morning?" He asked as he held my hand across the table.

"Well, he's been better and he's been worse," I answered with a weak smile. "He got into a fight at school after you guys visited and so now he's still technically grounded, hence the eagerness to do school work on a Saturday."

"What? A fight? Is he…?"

I chuckled and shook my head slowly. "Don't worry… he's a Winchester, so he won," I whispered with a smirk which elicited a grin and a soft laugh from Sam. "But in all seriousness, he's going to be fine. So… I'm guessing that you aren't here to hear the latest about me and the family."

"Yeah sorry… I was just… it's just that I need…"

"To find Dean?" I interrupted sympathetically and when Sam nodded sadly, I continued, "He was here yesterday… around noonish."

"Did he say where he was going?" He asked with a small hitch in his throat.

I shook my head solemnly. "No… but, I wouldn't have let him even if he was going to tell me. We both know there's no way that I could have kept that to myself."

The corner of his mouth tugged into a half smile. "Yeah, I guess not."

"He came by to… to say goodbye and to tell me that he was going to… to… well, I'm guessing that you know or you wouldn't be here… and… and then he left. I'm sorry Sam, I wish I knew where… maybe you could stop him if I knew," I explained as tears well up in my eyes.

Sam squeezed my hand and replied, "It's okay Addy. At least I know for sure that I'm on the right track."

"I've always told him you guys are stronger when you're together," I choked out absentmindedly to myself as tears started to fall. "He'll answer a call from Toby… that way you could pinpoint his location by GPS or something."

"Addy?" He questioned with a confused and bewildered smile.

I nodded towards the fridge and said, "His phone is on top of the fridge… it's part of his punishment for fighting." I paused to dry my face on my sleeves. "Sam? I told Dean that I was okay with his decision, but I lied Sam… I lied… I need him back… God help me… I need…" I started to hyperventilate as I admitted the truth.

Sam wrapped me in a hug after retrieving Toby's phone. "Shh… I know Addy… I know. I'll do my best, I promise." He held me close and rocked me gently while rubbing my back until I calmed down a bit.

"Sorry… sorry… breakdown's over. I'm sorry Sam."

"It's okay Addy," he replied as he remained kneeling beside me holding me in a tight hug. "So… umm, do you think I could use your computer?"

I nodded against his chest saying, "Of course… you know where it is."

As he turned to leave, I grabbed his hand and added, "Why don't I make the call while you do the computer work? He might be less suspicious that way."

"Thanks Addy," He said almost apologetically while going into the den, leaving me as I dialed the phone.

I could hear Dean clear his throat to steady his voice before he said, _"Hey Little Man… sorry I didn't get to see you yesterday…"_

I sniffled back some tears to which Dean replied, _"Lay? What's wrong? Is it Toby? Did something happen to Mo?"_

"No… no Dean… Toby's fine and there's no change with Mo… sorry… my cell battery died and I really wanted to hear your voice… I'm sorry," I apologized through guilt ridden tears.

" _That's okay Lay, really. Please, don't cry…it's fine. But…"_

"I know… sorry… I won't keep you… sorry…"

" _Lay, it's alright, don't apologize. I love you too."_

I was standing in the doorway to the den and looked over at Sam hopefully. He gave me a sad smile with a nod to confirm that he had Dean's location.

"I love you Dean. Please, no matter what happens, always remember that."

I quickly hung up the phone, smiled dejectedly at Sam and turned to leave the room, but stopped to look over my shoulder and said, "I'm sure Toby will want to say goodbye…" I swallowed hard. "Take care of yourself Sam and please, please bring him home safe."

I didn't wait for his reply and slowly walked up to Toby's room and knocked on the door.

"What's up Addy?" He asked looking up from his school work.

"Sam's going to be leaving soon. I thought you would want to say a proper goodbye to him."

He jumped off of his bed and made his way towards me at the door. "Yeah, thanks I really would."

After he passed me and started for the stairs, I called out, "Hey Toby?"

He turned and his mouth fell open when he saw my outstretched hand. "I thought you might want this back too."

He ran back to me, grabbed the phone and wrapped his arms around me almost a little too tightly. "Thanks Addy!" He leaned back and smiled brightly. "Does this mean…?"

I nodded and returned a warm smile. "Yeah it does… your sentence is up… well it's been shortened for good behavior."

"Awesome! Thanks Addy! You're the best! Umm… are you coming down too?"

"In a minute, Buddy, but you go on ahead."

After he had started down the stairs, I threw my hand up over my mouth and sprinted into Toby's bathroom to vomit the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I stood up, gripped the counter top tightly and rinsed my mouth with cold water.

"Well… today is going to totally suck ass," I said to my pasty reflection.

I weakly staggered back to my ensuite with my hands stuffed deep in the front pocket of my hoody to find something to settle my stomach. I downed a couple of Gravol, rinsed my mouth with mouthwash and went downstairs to find Toby and Sam, who were now sitting on the couch in the living room quietly talking.

"No, really Sam, I don't care if I ever meet my biological parents. Like Mr. McLean says, the Connors don't have to love me unconditionally, but they do and have my whole life. Now, how awesome is that?"

"Well, that's definitely a healthy way to look at it," Sam replied with a chuckle.

"Yeah… he and I have been talking about family and he confirmed everything that Addy and I have been talking about too. You know, how blood doesn't equal love. (He dropped the volume of his voice) Just look at Addy and her dad." He cringed dramatically to exaggerate his point.

"You know about that?" Sam asked with shocked concern.

"Yeah… I kind of remember the night Addy came to our house to get patched up after he… you know. I realize now that I had no reason to complain. I mean, I have mom and dad… plus Addy is THE COOLEST big sister ever and now I have you, Bobby and Dean. How many people can say that they have that many people too look out for them?" Toby questioned happily.

Sam smile, stood up and hugged Toby. "That's very true. I'm so glad that you've worked thing out with everyone, Toby. You know we're always here. Now, you take care of yourself and the family, okay?"

"Thanks Sam, I will. I hope you guys make it back here soon."

After our goodbyes with Sam, Toby went to the computer to start looking over the documents that he had been forbidden to check for the past week. I sat sideways across the recliner with my legs hanging over an arm with my hands firmly planted in the front pouch and my right temple against the head rest so I was facing him.

His face contorted a little bit more as he clicked through the pages and started to mumble in disappointment.

"Toby? Is something wrong?"

"No… that's the weird thing Addy. There's nothing," he said as he looked at me and shook his head.

I slid my weight over the arm of the recliner to get up and stand behind him. "But I thought you had it set up so information would save automatically from the weather and news sites every day," I asked worriedly.

"Oh, yeah it did," he responded looking up at me with a warm smile. "I just meant that nothing has been happening all week."

"So maybe it's gone now?" I asked hopefully.

He smiled and snickered. "I was thinking that too… but then I found this."

He clicked on the toolbar at the bottom of the screen to pull up the front page of our local newspapers'' website.

"'Cattle Deaths Stump Farmers Again'," I read out loud. "'Local farmers are dumbfounded once again by the deaths of their livestock. This is a particularly devastating blow for the economy as the same farmers had just replenished their herds after a similar incident late last week…' The exact same farmers?"

Toby checked over the information and answered, "Yeah, it looks like it is… what's up Addy?"

I quickly turned and went into the living room where we had moved all of our research.

"Addy? Addy!" Toby called after me as I sat down on the couch and pulled out a map of the county. "Addy? What are you thinking?"

"Well Tobs… if it's the same farmers, then may where the farms are located will tell us something," I explained as I placed a bold "X" in black Sharpie to indicate each of the farms that had been victimized on both occasions. "There… see anything interesting?"

"Whoa… they form a circle…" he replied awestruck. "Wait! Isn't that the Grayson farm in the middle?"

"Maybe…" I trailed off as I double checked my suspicion against another map of the town.

"Addy?" Toby prodded sounding uncertain.

"Yeah… umm… Tobs… look who else lives near there." I pointed to a more detailed map of Dubuque County which showed a different farm in the middle of the kill zone.

"Oh… the Henderson's…"

I gave his knee a reassuring squeeze. After he turned his sad eyes towards me, I tried once again to console him saying, "Buddy, please, don't feel bad. It's not like you asked to be kidnapped and held captive at the Henderson's farm, right?"

He smiled weakly and whispered, "No."

"Okay then you shouldn't feel guilty, okay?" We sat silently for a moment and then I concentrated very intently on his young face and said, "Toby… maybe I should finish this on my own. You know, I'm not sure if your parents would want you to get this deep into the job. You should be focusing on school and baseball right now. Please don't take this the wrong way Buddy, but… you should just enjoy being a kid right now."

He stared at me with a sad look of bewilderment, so I continued, "Look, I was born into this life, but you… you don't have to… you can just have a normal life, you know, you can just be a kid. I can take care of all of this…"

"Addy, you're right. Mom and dad weren't comfortable with me want to be like you and get into hunting already… but after what happened, we all realized that if I don't learn now, then I could get hurt even worse."

I swallowed a large lump in my throat then asked, "So they're… they're…"

He held my hand that was still on his knee. "They're okay with it so long as you're willing to teach me."

A tear slid down my cheek because I was so stunned that it seemed that Toby had willingly chosen o follow the path that Dean and I had been forced into during our formative years. Somehow, without our intervention, Toby had chosen to go into the family business.

"Oh… I didn't know that you guys had discussed it. Okay then… umm… why don't you head back to the computer and see what else you can find? I'm still feeling like crap, so I think I'm going to take a quick nap."

 


	10. I Was Rescued By The Enemy

After a few more days of research, Toby and I put together a comprehensive dossier for me to present the Sheriff. He redrew all the maps and charts to ensure that anyone who wasn't a seasoned hunter would properly understand the information that they were meant to depict.

"Okay, so I'm going to visit Don and then I'll pick you up right here at three, alright?" I confirmed with Toby as I dropped him off for school. "You be good… no fighting." I teased with a wink.

"Addy… no promises," he joked back. "I'll see you after school."

I sat in my car out front of the school yard as I watched him approach the school. I then waved my goodbye to him as he met up with a group of his 'Red Birds' teammates before driving off to the Lamb's one story rancher just a few blocks away.

Once I got there, I turned and gather up the books, file folders and note pads on the backseat to take in with me. I sat there for a moment staring at his house and heaved a loud sigh.

"It's just another job Addy. You told him you would keep him up to date. Come on, quite being such a wuss," I coached myself out loud into the windshield before stepping out of the car.

As I closed the car door with my hip, I struggled to balance all of the materials in my arms. Mercifully, Don was watching at the front door as I struggled up the walkway and was ready to help me carry it all in.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you've been doing some research! Here, let me help you with those," he said sounding enthusiastically surprised as he reached out to lighten my load and showed me into his home.

"What can I say? Toby and I like to be meticulous so that we're prepared for the job at hand," I responded with a shrug causing me to drop a book.

"Well I'm happy to have you on my side then," he commented with a smile as he led me into the living room. "Why don't you get set up in here and I'll grab you a drink?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll just take a water."

"One water coming up," he announced as he place his materials on the table and left the room and entered the kitchen.

I immediately took over his over sized mahogany coffee table by laying out the maps and charts. I then arranged the books in organized piles so that they would be easily accessible to help with my explanation.

"Here you go Addy," Don announced passing a glass over my shoulder while I remained seated on the floor between the coffee table and the couch. "Hey… are those the farms…"

I had taken a large gulp of water and interrupted, "Hey! Who's the one doing the presentation here? You just sit your ass down and I'll explain everything. Geez… you always were an impatient one."

"Sorry… sorry, I'll behave. Okay, ready, let's hear it," he replied lightheartedly while sitting behind me on the couch and squeezing my shoulder.

I started with a quick retelling of Toby's kidnapping and the method we had used to find him. I then briefly described the breaking of the Sixty-Six Seals and Lucifer's release from Hell. I made sure to conveniently leave out details about Sam and Dean's true roles in the Apocalypse, but explained how they had described Meg as Lucifer's 'Right-Hand Woman'.

"So you think the Devil sent someone to find her?" He asked as he looked at the map of the locations where the two sets of cattle deaths had occurred. "Still sounds weird to talk about the Devil being real," he commented as an aside.

"It seems like the most reasonable explanation. Bobby found this ritual (I passed him the open book that contained the ritual I was speaking of) for pinpointing a demon's location and it seems to fit the pattern Toby and I found almost perfectly."

"Bobby… Bobby Singer, right? Now he's the one who's in a wheelchair now because of that demon… because of Meg?"

"Yep… but honestly Don, Bobby is still THE best hunter that I know."

"Really? So… he's even better than…" he started to question teasingly.

"Yes… even better than him… well, smarter anyway," I interrupted in a bemused tone as I rolled my neck and reached back to rub my right shoulder.

"Are you okay there Addy?" Don asked as he gripped and lightly massaged my right shoulder blade.

I shook my head as I stood up and held my left wrist with my right hand behind my back and gently tugged. As I pulled my hands away from my back, my left then right shoulder released a comforting pop each. I rolled my head from side to side and finally heard a third coming from my chest.

"I'm just really stiff from the researching and sleeping kind of funny on Saturday. I've had this kink in my back and my neck ever since then that I haven't been able to work it out yet." I sat beside him on the couch while squeezing the back of my neck to illustrate one of the trouble spots.

"Well, come here then," Don said as he gripped my shoulders to shift my body so that my back was facing him.

I immediately could feel every muscle in my body tense up under the Sheriff's touch and asked with an anxious laugh, "Don… what… what are you doing?"

"My sister's a Chiropractor Addy. She's taught me a thing or two and you, my friend, are completely out of alignment. Trust me, please?" He explained as he crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh… okay," I conceded as I felt my heart starting to race with nervous anticipation.

He then manipulated my shoulders and arms in such a fashion that it made my back to snap, crackle and pop. After that he ran the knuckles of his fist up my spine causing me to sit up straighter.

"Addy… take of your sweatshirt," he whispered into my ear while leaning on my back.

I started to unzip my black hoody but suddenly stopped and asked, "What?"

He sat back and explained, "I could feel a knot in the lower right portion of you Trapezius muscle. I can try working it out through your hoody if you would prefer."

"My right lower what?"

"Here," he answered by lightly jabbing the bent knuckle of his right index finger into a spot on my back close to my spine.

I instantly cried out loudly in pain and flinched, which elicited a hearty chuckle form the man behind me.

"Okay, okay, you win," I announced while removing the lightweight jacket to reveal a bright teal form fitting tank top. "If you can help get rid of the pain, then I won't stop you."

Don then ran his hands under the fabric of my top to work at massaging out the tension in the muscles of my back. I unconsciously let out a series of soft satisfied moans as the pain slowly released itself from my tired muscles. Don then moved his hands to my shoulders and manipulated the muscles of my upper back and neck. His fingers then trailed under the left strap of my top and he started to trace the scar that Rene had created months ago when he sunk his vampiric teeth into me to take a greedy drink. It was still quite sensitive to the touch and my whole body shivered with delight.

I could feel my senses tingling more intensely as his soft fingertips lingered on my wounded flesh. "Vampire," I breathlessly commented.

"Oh…" he responded with slight shock.

He then moved his hands to the base of my neck and ran his thumbs up and down the sides of it. With his right index finger he lightly stroked a four inch scab that ran diagonally towards the base of my neck from the right side.

"Demon," I stated quietly in response to yet another unasked question.

"Oh?" He questioned. "What about this one here?" He asked keenly as he scrunched the lower part of my tank top to my breast in order to expose my stomach and lower back then caressed three old scars near the small of my back.

"Werewolf," I answered with a tear-filled lump forming in my throat.

His hands then traveled back to the original offending muscle and he kneaded it gently as he observed, "You have a LOT of battle scars Addy."

I started to come out of my euphoric trance like state as a tear trickled down my cheek while I remembered some of the people I had lost because of my job. In my mind's eye, I saw Dean's face and was regretfully reminded of the sacrifices we each had to make every day to ensure the safety of strangers and loved ones alike. I sniffed back any other accompanying tears and answered while wiping my cheek, "Yeah… well I started at a young age, so I've had a lot of time to accumulate them."

He gently lowered my hand then continued to massage my back and moved his body closer to mine and quietly said into my ear, "Shh… it's okay Addy, we don't have to talk about that right now."

I nodded slowly while he grabbed both of my arms softly. He moved each hand each hand deliberately from my wrists to my shoulders, squeezing gently along the way to release any lingering tension. Once Don reached my shoulders, he pressed his fingertips into my upper chest, just below the collarbone. I then allowed myself to lean back onto Don's chest with my eyes closed so that I would be more comfortable while he worked with a content smile on his face.

My breathing had become very slow and rhythmic again from Don's expertly placed fingers releasing nearly every ounce of tension from my body. As he ran his hands down my arms again, he lowered his lips to my own in a soft tender kiss. My mind was so clouded by my feelings of contentment that I unwittingly reciprocated and shifted slightly so that I was more comfortable in his lap while raising my right hand to his face. Our lips maintained slow steady contact as Don ran his right hand up my stomach underneath my shirt now that my torso was facing him.

Once his hand connected with the sensitive flesh of my bare breast, I was awoken from my elated state and I shot up out of his arms.

I quickly grabbed my sweatshirt jacket from where I had discarded it on the couch's back and stood up while putting it on frantically saying, "Oh God Don… I shouldn't have… Oh God… I'm sorry… Oh shit…"

He remained in his spot on the couch and calmly replied, "Addy, it's okay… we're completely alone… no one will ever know."

I shook my head vigorously protesting, "No… we can't… I'm sorry… Oh shit… I shouldn't have…"

Once my jacket was zipped up, I turned to walk away. Suddenly Don shot up, grabbed the hood of my sweatshirt and yanked me back. As he sat back down on the couch, he pinned both of my legs under the weight of his right leg forcing me to be seated on his lap.

I managed to mumble some words of shock as he grabbed both of my wrists in his left hand and roughly combed the fingers of his right hand to the back of my head. He snatched a large fistful of my hair and then attacked my mouth with his own. Our teeth clinked together more than once and I soon felt a sharp pain radiate from my lower lip.

After a few more violent attempts to get me to return his kisses, Don jerked my head back by my hair and gave me a sinister smile. A small stream of blood flowed down my chin as a result of the damage he had inflicted on my mouth. The Sheriff slowly ran his tongue up my chin to lap up the blood and then he sucked on my bottom lip to consume even more of the dark, red liquid.

I struggled under his weight in a futile attempt to free my legs and hands and he leaned back to praise, "Mmm… you taste good Adelaide Jones. Now… stop fighting me… just relax and give in, you know you want to."

"Don… please," I desperately pleaded. "Don't do this… please?"

"Oh Addy," he replied as he pet my face and tightened his grip on my wrists. "Don't pretend like you don't want this." He ran his fingers through my hair almost amorously then he continued, "You've always been such a tease, but now… now you're mine."

He leaned in for another attack on my mouth as I quietly whispered, "Christo."

His entire body went rigid and he sat straight up in his seat. I had hoped that the shock would afford me a chance to struggle out of his grasp, but his hold on me became more ironclad instead of slacking off in any way. Then he looked down at me with his demonic black eyes and my suspicions were confirmed while the meager amounts of hope I had felt quickly faded.

His lips turned into an ugly grin as he said, "Hmm… you are as smart as they said you would be."

I gasped as his right hand twisted the clump of hair he had in his hand to wrench my head back. He leaned in close and whispered in a sinister tone, "That'll just make this more fun."

My panic started to manifest itself in short, shallow, rapid breaths as I asked almost inaudibly, "Who…?"

He gently rubbed his left temple against my own as he replied coolly, "After I found out that Meg was most likely killed here, I decided to stay and find out some details. And then you seemed to know so much about it, so I asked around about you. I have to admit Adelaide, you are quite… fascinating."

He sat back to survey my reaction to everything that he was telling me. "Mmm… and when I first saw you at the hospital… I knew that you would be…" He paused to lick a new stream of blood that was on my chin before he whispered, "… tasty."

He leaned back again and lapped up some stray blood off of his lip. "And don't worry, you didn't disappoint."

I had finally managed to slow my breathing and calm my racing heart so that I could sarcastically retort, "Oh thank God… I didn't disappoint a demon. NOW I can die happy."

He placed his index finger to my lips and replied with insincere concern, "Shh shh shh… don't say that Adelaide." He held my face in his hand and caressed my cheek with his thumb. "Now we wouldn't want anything to happen to you. I mean… I'm not done having fun with you yet."

He then grabbed my left wrist with his right hand so that he had a wrist in each hand and jerked me forward before pulling them behind my back once again. I bit my bottom lip trying to keep from giving him the satisfaction of yelping out in pain while trying to think of a plan of action. Once my hands were secured in his tight grasp behind my back, he slowly unzipped my hoody while licking his lip hungrily.

He pushed back the black fabric to expose my tank top and tenderly touched the scar on my collarbone.

"I'm guessing that you got this from Rene then?"

I nodded while still chewing on my bottom lip, still trying not to cry out from the pain I was feeling.

He shook his head sorrowfully and said to himself contemplatively, "I always told her that her lust for him would cause her nothing but trouble."

He then leaned in and started to nibble and kiss Rene's handiwork while running a hand up under my top. His hand easily found my breast again and his nibbling turned into deeper bites as he fondled it.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as some tears of frustration started to fall. The demon took my laying back in tearful deliberation as me relenting to his touch so the movement of his hand, lips and teeth became more fervent and passionate.

"That's a good girl… don't fight it," he cooed.

"Omnis legio… Omnis congretio et secta diabolica ergo, Draco…" I started to chant just barely above a whisper.

As the words hit his demonic ears, he reared back and shook his head violently. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as I recited the words but they shot open when he connected a hard jab with his right fist into mouth. His sharp punch caused my head to flop back and forth while my mouth filled with blood.

While looking down at me he angrily said, "Now, now, there's no need to be nasty."

He then pulled me back into a seated position by my sweatshirt jacket and held the left said of my droopy head in his hand.

"Now, look at what you made me do. I don't want to damage this beautiful face," he continued sorrowfully.

As he pressed my head against his shoulder, he slowly rocked back and forth saying softly, "Shh… sweet, sweet Adelaide… everything will be just fine," he continued as if consoling a small child after a bad dream.

I turned my head to the left and spat out a mouthful of blood and saliva.

"Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica idjuramus te cessa decipere humanas…" I continued defiantly.

In one swift, fluid motion, the demon's left hand released my wrists, grabbed the back of my head and slammed my forehead into the edge of the mahogany coffee table.

"Decipere… humanas… crea… creaturas… eis… eisque…" I continued slowly through an involuntary sob.

With one more final forceful thrust of my head into the table's edge, everything went black.


	11. Say Hello To Your Lion's Heart

I slowly opened my eyes and was overcome by a pounding sensation in my head. I went to move my right hand to massage my temples but heard the heart breaking clink of metal on metal instead and my hand would barely move. I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could while I took in a few calming breaths and surveyed my current situation by categorizing everything that I could feel and hear around me.

 _Okay… shoulder and wrists hurt, so you're probably tied up._ I shifted from side to side ever so slightly. _Well… at least whatever you're tied to is soft… a bed maybe? Okay, no try your feet there Girly Girl._ I felt rope chaffing against my ankles as I tried to kick as wildly as I could. _SHIT FUCK!_

I finally opened my eyes to confirm my suspicions to find myself in an unfamiliar bedroom handcuffed to a king-sized bed. The sun was peeking through the shade and the brightness of the room made the pain in my head throb even more acutely. I raised my head as much as my bindings and shoulders would allow me to examine my feet what were tied to the foot of the bed with white rope.

 _FUCK! And you're practically naked too! Peachy!_ I thought to myself as my head flopped back onto the pillow. I was mildly shocked to see that the demon had removed my yoga pants and tank top, leaving me in my black cotton boy-cut briefs and sports bra.

_Okay… just stay calm Addy… just stay calm. It won't help you any to panic right now, I mean…_

"Good… you're finally awake Sleeping Beauty," the demon commented cordially as he sat on the edge of the bed to my right with a First Aid kit in his hand. "Now just keep still while I clean you up and get that nasty gash patched up."

"So much for not damaging my beautiful face," I retorted with disdain as he cleaned the cut on my forehead with rubbing alcohol and then taped a bandage to it.

"Well, you really didn't give me much of a choice now did you?" He asked as he put the First Aid kit on the side table. He gently pressed on the perimeter of the tape to ensure that the cut was properly cover then he smoothed my hair as he continued, "Now, no more nasty incantations, yeah? Or I might just have to gag you… " He produced a black and white handkerchief to illustrate his point.

"Okay," I agreed meekly as I nodded slowly.

"Good," he replied while placing the handkerchief on the night stand on top of the First Aid kit. "So… Addy… do you know what the best part about possessing a sheriff is?"

"You get to wear a nifty cowboy hat and carry a shiny badge," I responded sarcastically.

"Cute, but no. The best part… is that the uniform comes with its own tool of restraint," he answered smugly while checking that the handcuffs were still tight around the post on the headboard. Once he leaned back, he threw me a sadistic smile and said, "And guess who will be taking your missing person report if and when someone finally decides to call it in?"

_SHIT! You didn't think of that now did you Addy?_

I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath to keep myself calm. I tried to remind myself that Toby was raised right and wasn't stupid, he would call for backup. Toby would know better than to rely solely on the local authorities to find me. He would know something wasn't right if I didn't show up to pick him up from school. I tried to remind myself that I was sure of that even though my heart wasn't in it.

During this interlude, the demon was relishing in his declaration and had gotten up to put the First Kit away in the bathroom.

"So why would you take the time to patch me up? I mean, why are you being so nice now?" I called out to him while he was in the other room and out of my sight. I struggled with my restraints to see if I could break out of them and quickly surveyed the room to see if there was anything within reach that I could use to help me. My heart sank slightly when I saw nothing that would be of use to me at that moment.

He came back into the master bedroom with a couple of Aspirin in one hand and a glass of water in the other, so I immediately laid back as still as possible.

"Because, like I already told you… you are fascinating. So I can't have you broken if I'm going to get to know you better. Now here, take these… they'll help with the headache," he directed with quiet concern.

Since I couldn't sit up straight, I just raised my head slightly while he put the Aspirin in my mouth and poured in some water from the glass.

"Thanks," I whispered. Once my head was back on the pillow, I asked, "What does that mean? You know, that I'm 'fascinating'?"

"Well Adelaide, it isn't often that I run into a hunter as seasoned as you that is so anonymous and that I've never met before," he replied calmly while stroking my hair. "Once I asked around about you, I found out a few things that made me want to get to know you better."

I swallowed hard fearing that he meant that my secret had gotten out and the demons now knew about Toby and his lineage.

"Things? What things?" I asked hoarsely while trying to somewhat hide my anxiety.

"Well… for starters… you are one, smart, tough chick. You've hunted as many things as the Winchesters and their friends, but somehow you've flown completely under the radar. You know, a lot of us don't seem to know much about you at all. That's rare, especially from someone with your reported kill count."

"Oh? So I'm guessing that means that you missed my two page spread in 'Hunters' Quarterly' then?" I replied more confidently.

"You're funny too… you've got a smart mouth just that that boyfriend of yours." He got up and stood at the foot of the bed and tightened the binding on each ankle. He lightly tapped the tattoo on my left ankle and praised, "Like I said, smart. But, I think I now understand why we don't know you that well. You've helped a lot of hunters along the way, but leave before anyone can give you the credit. Take John Winchester…"

"John? What about him?"

"Well he couldn't find his way around a computer to save his life and yet somehow he found that article about Constance Welch. But by the time his sons showed up, you little lady were nowhere to be found."

"Well, I wasn't exactly her type. When John up and disappeared on me, I REALLY didn't have much of a chance catching her, so I left her to the boys to take care of," I replied somewhat humorously.

"Really? But, wasn't it you that called the cops on them and got your precious Dean arrested?" He asked sitting on the bed to my left with his back now up against the headboard.

I laughed softly to myself at the memory of that day. For a brief moment I forgot all about my current predicament and allowed myself to get lost in the memory of one of the best pranks I had inadvertently pulled off at Dean's expense.

"I didn't realize it was them until it was too late. I mean really… how was I to know that the random guys breaking into John's room were Sam and Dean?" I replied with a chuckle.

"Look at how your eyes twinkle when you talk about him. Hmm…" he mused as he ran the back of his right hand down the left side of my nearly naked ribcage.

I swallowed hard as I watched him eyeing the bare flesh he was exploring with his fingers excitedly. After a few more thought filled moments, the demon shifted his body swiftly so that he was straddling my own. He thankfully kept the majority of his weight off of my mid-section because had he not done so, he would have easily crushed me and severely restricted my ability to breath.

He reached up to my wrists and ran his hands down the length of my arms, watching the invisible path he made amorously. He braced his weight with his left hand and grabbed my face with his right paw. I instinctively tried to struggle out of his grasp by thrashing my head from side to side. The look of frustrated desperation on my face just seemed to help to make his smile grow wider and wider.

He then pulled my face up so that he could more easily whisper sinisterly into my ear, "I was just here to find out what happened to my Meg, but now I think I might have a chance to take out Dean Winchester for myself. I wonder how long it will take to get Lover boy to come out of hiding to save you." He finished by placing a rough kiss on my lips then threw my head back onto the pillow.

I turned my head to the right and tried to spit out the taste of his saliva while the demon stood up beside the bed.

"Hmm… I wonder… huh," he pondered to himself as he turned his back towards me. "And here I thought the most fun I was going to have been playing with the girl…"

"Well I hate to disappoint you, whoever you are, but your chances of getting Dean here are about as good as having Elvis perform live in this bedroom. He's gone to make sure that your Daddy is stopped cold in his tracks and thrown back into Hell where he belongs," I said with more self assurance than a girl who was tied to a bed should have.

As he walked around the bed he stopped by my feet and hit his forehead with the palm of his hand in an exaggerated gesture of remembrance.

"Oh how rude of me not to introduce myself. Well, I'm Meg's brother Adelaide… but you may call me 'Pacer'."

He continued his path to the opposite side of the bed and started opening the drawer of the night stand saying, "And Adelaide… don't sell yourself short. I'm sure now that he's decided not to play the part of Michael's Little Bitch, Dean will come running to save his beloved Addy."

_Dean didn't say 'Yes'? No… no, he's lying… don't react Addy, don't react._

He slowly pulled out a pair of stainless steel seamstress' shears and placed them on the nightstand before looking back at me and saying with exaggerated sympathy, "Oh, poor sweet Addy… I'm sure that he meant to call… Hey! May there's a…"

**Beepbeepbeepbeep Beepbeepbeepbeep Beepbeepbeepbeep Beepbeepbeepbeep**

"Oh would you look at that? It's show time." He took a deep breath and picked up Don's uniform top and exited the room as if he was exiting stage right dramatically.

I immediately grabbed the post above my head and gave it the hardest yank that I could. When nothing happened, when it didn't budge an inch, I leveraged my weight and tried to kick my legs in an attempt to loosen or break their bondage. To my surprise, Pacer had tied the knots in such a way that they would tighten with any move that I made.

Realizing my defeat, I flopped my head back onto the pillow and let the tears that I had been holding back fall freely.

"Cas? Please? I need your help! Please? Just bring them here! Please? Just bring Dean back here now," I pleaded desperately out loud before my tears overtook me.

As I lay on the Lambs' bed crying, Toby sat on the steps leading into the entrance of his school diligently waiting for me.

"No thanks, Addy's picking me up," Toby responded each time one of his friends or their parents asked if he needed as ride home as he listened to my voicemail message yet again.

After an hour had passed, he pulled out his cell phone to check the time. He then scrolled through his contacts and quickly found the name that he was searching for.

" _Hi Toby, how are you doing today?"_

"I'm doing alright dad," he responded as cheerfully as possible. "How are you and mom?"

" _I'm alright… there's still no changes with your mom. Hey! Did you want to say 'Hi' to her? I think that she's still awake."_

"Sure… I mean, yes sir, I'd really like to say 'Hi' to mom."

" _She'll be so excited to hear from you. She misses you both so much during the day,"_ Bill replied as he opened the door to Maureen's hospital room. Toby swallowed hard because his dad hadn't mentioned being visited by the one person that he was desperately trying to find. _"Oh son, I'm sorry. It looks like the doctor gave her something to help her sleep again. Maybe Addy could bring you by a little later… like at dinner time? Yeah, your mom should be up for a chat then!"_

"Oh, okay… yeah I'll ask Addy to do that," Toby replied calmly. "I'll talk to you later then. If mom wakes up, tell her I love her. Love you dad."

" _Love you too son."_

Toby hit the 'End Call' button on his phone and stared at it for a little while as panic tried to set in. He then scrolled through his contacts again to attempt another call.

" _Hey, it's me. Leave a message."_

 _ADDY! Where are you?_ He thought anxiously to himself as tears sprang up into his eyes.

"Hey Toby, what are you still doing here?"

Before turning around, Toby made sure that his cheeks weren't wet, took a deep breath and flashed his teacher a bright smile. "Oh… hi Mr. McLean. Umm… Addy got caught up at the hospital, so I'm just waiting for her to get here."

"Is everything okay with your mom?" The older man asked as he sat down beside Toby on the stairs.

"Dad keeps saying it is, but she's not really getting any better, so…" Toby replied with a half smile and a cocked eyebrow.

His teacher chuckled softly then conceded, "You definitely have a point there… very true. So… Addy's going to be a while?"

Toby nodded sadly.

"Well then… how 'bout I give you a ride home then?"

"You wouldn't mind? I mean it wouldn't be too much trouble for you?" Toby asked quietly.

"It's absolutely no problem at all. Why don't you call Addy and let her know?" Mr. McLean replied while standing up and brushing off his pants before retrieving his briefcase from the stairs.

Toby swallowed hard again then said, "Yeah… okay, I'll call her."

He started to follow his teacher towards the staff parking lot while he played with his phone to mimic the motion of making a call to my cell phone.

"Hey Addy, Mr. McLean said that he would drive me home so that you can stay at the hospital a little bit longer. Uh huh… yeah… uh huh… okay… yeah, I will. Okay. Yep, I'll see you at home." He then turned his attention to his teacher who was now unlocking the driver side door. "Addy said to say 'Thank You' for her."

"It's really my pleasure Toby."

Once Tulsa's blue Chevrolet Cavalier pulled up to the house, Toby quickly opened his door and said, "Thanks again Mr. McLean. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Toby then sprinted up the front steps and unlocked the front door. When he stepped into the living room he shouted, "ADDY! ADDY!" Then he ran into the den to check for any sign of life in there.

"Are you home sick?" He continued desperately while running up to my room.

After finding the master bedroom as empty as the rest of the house, he sat on the foot of my bed and tried his best to remain calm. He racked his brain for a solution to this problem for a few more minutes before he pulled his phone out and tried one more phone call.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey… umm Bobby?" Toby inquired timidly.

" _Maybe. Who is this?"_ Bobby abrasively answered the unfamiliar voice.

"Oh… sorry. It's Toby… Toby Connor. Umm you helped Addy and…"

" _Toby! Sorry, I didn't recognize your voice son. What can I help you with? Does Addy have some more questions about that ritual?"_ Bobby interrupted affectionately.

"Umm… no sir, we kind of have that all figured out now. Umm… it's just… uhh… have you talked to her at all today?" Toby's voice started to break as he finished his thought.

" _No Toby, I haven't spoken to her since last week. Why do you ask son?"_

"Well… she was supposed to pick me up after school today, but she didn't and I've left a bunch of messages and the last time this happened was when Sam and Dean saved her from that vampire in Illinois and she never goes this long without checking in, especially now and dad hasn't seen her today and… and since…" Toby explained rapidly without pausing to take a breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but I didn't know who else to call with Dean going and you know…"

" _That's alright son. I'm glad you called me for help. Now let's start at the beginning. Did she say where she was going, what she would be doing after she dropped you off at school?"_ Bobby asked as he started to pack up his travel bag.

"Yeah, she did. She was going to the Sheriff's house to fill him in on the details of the case. We still weren't sure where the demon was staying, so she thought he might see something else strange that we missed or something we didn't know if he had the new details," Toby explained more calmly.

" _Good, okay… Have you called the Sheriff?"_

"No sir, I didn't think of that. I'm sorry… I was just so worried when I couldn't find her that I… I…" Toby admitted sheepishly.

" _That's okay Toby. In fact it's more than okay to be worried… it comes with the territory of this job,"_ Bobby interjected to comfort the distraught teen. _"Alright then… why don't you call the Sheriff and find out what time Addy left his place and anything else that he knows… I should be able to get out to your place in about… four or five hours, alright?"_

"Yes sir, I can do that! Wait! You mean you'll be coming out here to help?" Toby asked mildly shocked.

" _Of course I'm coming out to Kidder Toby. I can't really find her from here now can I? Do you have any of her… I mean your guys' research still at the house?"_

"I have most of it on the computer…" Toby answered with a tone of uncertainty.

" _Okay, good. Do you think you could put some of it together for me to take a look at when I get there?"_

"Yes sir, I can definitely do that! You're hoping to figure out what Addy's next move is, aren't you?"

" _Well at least as close to her next move as I can… it can be tough trying to read her mind sometimes… Alright… I'll head out now, so you get that information together… oh and Toby… when you call the Sheriff, try to keep…"_

"From telling him too much," Toby finished Bobby's statement confidently. "We don't want too many people to know that we're worried that Addy is missing because we don't know who the demon could be possessing."

Bobby chuckled a bit in spite of himself. _"That girl has definitely taught you well. Okay, well you take care of all of that and I'll see you soon."_

Toby hung up the phone and heaved a huge sigh of relief because Bobby had confirmed that he had done the right thing by call him. As he walked back downstairs, Toby tried to think of a cover story that wouldn't raise any suspicions with the Sheriff if he was in fact being possessed by the demon they were hunting.

Once he had that figured out, Toby had difficulties dialing the number for the Dubuque County Sheriff's office because of his nervous excitement.

" _Dubuque County Sheriff's Office_."

"Hi… umm is Sheriff Lamb in?" Toby timidly asked the gruff voice of a Deputy Sheriff that was manning the phones for the night.

" _Can I tell him who's calling?"_

"Oh, it's Toby… uh Toby Connor."

" _Yeah… hold on a second while I transfer you,"_ the Deputy replied sounding very unimpressed.

Toby found a seat on the living room couch while trying to maintain a calm demeanor. All he could think about for the moment was how much he wanted to tell me about his plan because he thought it was so fool proof and well thought out.

" _Sheriff Lamb,"_ a familiar confident male voice answered.

"Hi sir, it's Toby…"

" _Toby! How's it going?"_ the Sheriff interrupted enthusiastically. _"Thanks for helping Addy with all of that research for the file! Boy you two sure did help me out a lot on this one."_

"Oh, you're welcome sir. I'm… uhh doing okay. Mom took a turn for the worst today, so I guess I should say that I've been better. Umm… I left school early and was hoping Addy was still with you because I totally forgot to call her," Toby lied with just enough sorrow to pass his tone off as sincerity.

" _Oh, sorry Toby, but Addy left my place hours ago to head over to the Henderson's farm to check out some details for the case,"_ Pacer falsely informed the young boy.

"Oh? Really? Okay… well I'll try her cell again them. But if you talk to her before I do, could you let her know I'm at the hospital? I just don't want her to worry after… after what happened with… well I just don't want her to worry," Toby continued to lie convincingly. "You know, I don't want things to **spin** out of control and for her to have a **heart attack** or anything."

" _Sure, no problem Toby, if I see her I'll let her know where you are,"_ Pacer replied while attempting to cover his disappointment at having to finish the rest of the night shift without the satisfaction of tormenting Toby and his family.

"Awesome thanks!" Toby replied cheerfully before ending the conversation.

 _Yes! Now I can give Bobby a lead on who the demon's possessing! There's NO WAY Addy would go back to the Henderson's after she and Dean burned down Mr. Henderson's barn!_ Toby thought to himself gleefully as he set his phone down on the table with some of our research materials.

"Okay… now time to put together everything for Bobby," Toby instructed himself out loud with a tone of contentment.

Since Bobby was the oldest hunter that Toby knew, he figured that the original maps that we drew would be comprehensive enough for Bobby. Toby then turned his attention to our other reference material to create a new dossier for Bobby to look over. I had taken a select few books to the Lamb residence to help with my presentation to the Sheriff, so Toby first wanted to take an inventory of the books I had left behind versus those I took with me.

_Addy always says that what you don't see is just as important as the stuff that you do see. Okay… so what books didn't she take with her?_

Toby laid out the books pile by pile on the coffee table so he could read the titles of each of them. In the first pile were books on Lucifer and the Breaking of the Sixty-Six Seals. The second pile consisted of rituals to exorcise and banish demons. In the third and final pile, this was the smallest of the piles, contained only four books on rituals used for demon location.

 _So Addy was focusing on the demon using a spell to figure out that Meg demon's last location_ , Toby thought to himself. _Man it would be so ironic if she was going to use them with the Sheriff to find this new demon! Okay now I know who it is… let's figure out how to get rid of it now._

"Alright, let's get to reading Toby," he told himself after grabbing a Cherry Coke out of the fridge.

He pulled the top book off the pile he had created for the books on exorcisms. The first two primarily described demon possession and the after effects some victims had felt post-possession.

"Nothing you didn't already know," Toby told the books despondently.

He went to grab the third book when his stomach growled loudly. He picked up his phone too look at the time and realizing it was nearing their normal dinner hour he quickly called his dad at the hospital.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey dad…"

" _Toby! I was just about to call you! Good news, you're mom has just gone into surgery! They found a donor for her!"_

"Really? That's awesome dad! Umm… so does that mean that we should head out there soon?" Toby held his breath while he waited for his dad's reply. If Bill said 'Yes', the young boy had no evasive manoeuver planned to get around that situation.

" _Oh no son, that's why I was going to call. She'll be in the operating room all night and then in recovery for most of the day tomorrow, so you won't be able to visit. It would probably be best if you two wait until the day after tomorrow to visit, at the earliest, okay?"_

"Yes sir! I'll tell Addy!" Toby replied with a little too much enthusiasm after exhaling his breath. "When you see mom tell her I love her and that I'm praying for her."

" _I will son. We love you too. She's finally got a donor… our prayers have been answered. We'll see you soon Toby."_

Toby made himself a small dinner and took it into the living room to finish looking through the books to find a way to exorcise the demon. The third book was almost exactly what he was looking for because it had a variety of binding spells that would help to contain some of the demon's powers. He grabbed one of the spare note pads in the living room and wrote out a few incantations with the list of ingredients that each spell would require.

"Alright bachelor four... tell me that you have the rituals for exorcising demons," he said to the fourth book imitating a cheesy game show host.

He picked up the book and sat back on the couch. When he flipped open the hard cover to the title page, a small white envelope folded in half fell out onto his lap. He picked it up while placing the book onto the couch to his right. Curious what it could be, Toby unfolded the envelope and saw that it was addressed to him.

When he saw the unfamiliar black bold handwriting that said "TOBY" he mumbled, "What the _…_?"

He quickly opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. It was written on stationary from the "Cicero Pines Motel" and when he read the words he didn't recognize the writing, so he flipped it over to see whose signature was at the end.

"Dean? What? Why would Dean write me a letter?" Toby questioned out loud.

He eagerly flipped it back over and started at the beginning again as his mind started racing as he read through the paragraphs.

"Oh my God! No freaking way!" he muttered when he finished.

Still not believing what he had just read, Toby flipped the letter back over and read it again.


	12. When My Heart was in the Attic Like 'The Picture of Dorian Gray'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of the most difficult chapters. I apologize in advance if anything in this chapter offends you, but it is what it is.

I was awoken by the sound of scissors cutting fabric, but when I tried to open my eyes there was something covering them which impeded my ability to see.

Due to the new restraint of blindness, I instinctively started to struggle against my bindings with more force than I had the previous day while my mind was lost in mild panic. As I moved my upper body I could feel the cold steel of what could only assume were the seamstress' shears I had seen earlier. I started to hyperventilate at the thought that the demon was now removing the last remnants of my clothing from my body.

"PACER? PACER? I CAN'T SEE!" I shrieked without trying to hide my fear. "What have you done? I can't see!"

"You look like shit after all of your blubbering last night, so I put a cold compress on your face. Just relax damn it," he answered almost angrily.

I swallowed hard and tried to calm my breathing the best that I could. "Thanks," I whispered in an attempt to regain some peace between us.

From what I could hear, Pacer was moving around the room and then I felt him climb onto the bed beside me. He roughly grabbed the cold compress and threw it against the wall on the other side of the room. When I heard the hard thud of it hitting the wall, I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter feeling very frightened by the change in the demon's formally cordial behavior.

Pacer then roughly straddled my body and used his right knee to force my left leg to move. He then grabbed my breast with brute force and my eyes shot open at the sensation of his mouth on my nipple while every muscle in my body tensed up.

When he felt my body go rigid, Pacer turned his eyes to look at the terrified look on my face and then I felt his mouth tighten into a smile.

"No… please…don't do this, please?" I whimpered while just barely holding back a sob.

He moved his face up to my left ear and viciously whispered, "No more Mr. Nice Guy Adelaide, you're mine now and I'm going to have some fun… just you and me… no one to interrupt us."

I gasped loudly as I felt him brutally plunge his hardened member deep inside of me. He then grabbed my hair roughly with his right hand and smashed his mouth over mine to stifle my attempts to scream. As he continued to thrust his weight into me, I felt tears streaming down my cheeks and pain reemerging from the wound on my bottom lip. He then moved his face away from mine to watch my tears flow because he seemed to know that my screaming would be silenced under the anguish I was feeling from his violation of my body. Pacer then pulled my head back to the pillow and leveraged his body so that force himself deeper and deeper into my body.

"Please… stop… please? Don't do this…" I tearfully pleaded absentmindedly.

"Too… late…" he breathlessly panted.

"Don… Don, stop! Stop him!" I cried out as pain radiated with every move of his body. "You… Don! You can stop him!"

My cries for mercy seem to only help to fuel his passion even more and he made his movements harder and faster. I grabbed onto the post of the headboard that the handcuffs were wrapped around and tried my best to twist my torso in an attempt to interrupt his painful intrusion into my body.

When he felt my feeble attempts to defend myself, he placed a firm hand on each shoulder and pressed my back into the mattress.

"PLEASE! STOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "PLEASE? YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

The demon grunted excitedly as I felt the Sheriff's body shudder and spasm as Pacer's assault finally came to a climatic end.

Before he rolled off my body, Pacer leaned down and whispered, "Who do you think wanted to feel what it would be like to be inside of you more… me or the Sheriff huh Addy?"

"No," I whimpered through hysterical tears. "No… he would never…"

"Oh yes he would," he hissed. "That's how I knew I was in the right body for my sojourn with you."

I turned my head to the right because that was the only thing I could do to try to get away from the demon at this time. He rolled onto his back beside me and placed his hands under his pillowed head for a few minutes while he reveled with delight thinking about the damage he had done to me physically, emotionally and worst off spiritually. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around my legs in the fetal position while tears of anguish continued to fall, but I had to settle for uncontrollable tear-filled sobs to console my injured body.

Hearing nothing but my crying, Pacer rolled onto his side and cuddled in close to me. After he nuzzled his face into my neck, he softly kissed me behind my left ear. I pressed the right side of my face deeper into the pillow in a further attempt to get away from his unwanted embraces.

"Don't cry Adelaide. You were perfect. I'm sorry I was so gruff with you, but I had a really hard night at the office," he tenderly explained almost as if he were describing his day to a loved one over dinner.

I continued to sob into the pillow and tried to block out the pain that my body had just endured while ignoring the voice I was hearing behind me.

He affectionately ran his fingers up and down the right side of my ribcage as he hugged me close and said though a pout, "Well… aren't you going to ask why my night was so difficult?"

My sobs started to subside and I slowly turned my head while I glared into Pacer's eyes in utter disbelief. He reciprocated by lightly brushing the tears away from under my right eye with his thumb.

"There we go… that's much better," he quietly praised. "You see… I talked to Toby and he really wasn't as much fun to play with last night as I had hoped he would be."

I swallowed and tried to take a few deep breaths to further still my racing mind.

"Why… why not? Wha… what did Toby do?" I whispered hesitantly, unsure if I actually wanted to hear his answer.

He pecked my cheek and said, "Well it nice of you to ask Adelaide." Then he rolled off the bed and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt, but left me completely naked while still laid out in my bindings.

"You see Adelaide," he as explained as he looked down at me from the foot of the bed. "Toby called to ask me to tell you that he was at the hospital with his mom. He left school to be with her because she's worse or something. Blah blah blah. He was worried you might… hmm now how did he put it? That you might have a heart attack if things were to spin out of control. Is that what he said? Well whatever, it was something like that. So… I really didn't get to hear any panic about you being missing and that's just no fun for me," he finished with his bottom lip protruding in an exaggerated pout.

Pacer then started to undo the ropes around my ankles as I silently went over what he had said.

_Toby said 'heart attack'… wait! 'Spin'! Yes! He knows! He knows and he's called for backup! Thank God, oh thank God! Stay calm Addy, you can do this… just a little bit longer now._

"Now Adelaide, I'm going to untie your feet, but no kicking, yeah?"

I nodded sadly in agreement as he continued to free my legs. Once the bindings were removed, I swiftly turned onto my right side and pulled my knees into my chest. My arms lacked sufficient blood circulation and had gone completely numb, but my quick shift of position caused a burning sensation to return to my shoulders, so I unwittingly cried out in pain.

Pace climbed back onto the bed and pulled my waist towards his own. He shimmied his chin somewhat onto my shoulder and he quietly said, "Oh Adelaide… you are so beautiful."

As he pressed his mid-section into mine, I could feel Don's body reacting again to the demon's erotic passion. His left hand started to explore my flesh with a renewed sense of curiosity as he began to nibble on my earlobe. I pressed my lips together to stifle my urge to scream or vomit because I now knew that that reaction would only fuel his demented infatuation.

He started to gently tug on my shoulder in an attempt to have me lay on my back, but I defiantly twisted back on my side with each try and whispered, "No… no… please? No."

"Adelaide," he cautioned with a slight sing song tone to his voice. "You know you can't fight me, so why are you making this harder on yourself?"

I shuddered as I took in a few choppy breaths because I knew I would have to admit my defeat. Despite my new attempts to stay strong, tears started to stream out of my eyes as I complied and rolled onto my back.

"That's a good girl," he commended before he kissed my neck while running his hand down to my hips. He squeezed my hip bone that protruded slightly as he bit at the scar on my collarbone and then he roughly grabbed my inner thigh and force my legs open.

"Now you promised no kicking," he reminded me with quiet severity as his hand explored the territory that he was planning to invade once again.

He maneuvered himself into the space that he had created between my legs and held my hips tightly to pull himself closer to me. I once again held the post above my head and tried to pull my body away. Pacer chuckled and just shuffled closer and closer every time I moved away because my efforts actually made my legs spread wider. After these few frail attempts to stop him, I finally admitted to myself that I couldn't stop another attack on my body. I then remained silent and squeezed my eyes shut while trying to force my mind to wander away from this bed and this room. I turned my head to the left and bit my shoulder to keep from screaming during the second pain filled session of torture.

 _ **I've been used I feel abused Something you've done has lit my fuse And I take my theories back Maybe karma ain't all that Coz you do whatever you please Everybody else is left to bleed…**_ I sang silently to myself while I lay there limply. I allowed Pacer to do whatever he needed to do in order to complete this second invasion on my body as quickly as possible.

 _ **You're a heart attack Your heart is black It's whack Your mind is jacked How did anybody ever get like that?**_ , I continued until I felt him collapse onto his side of the bed.

I remained motionless while he again cuddled into my left side.

"Sweet dreams Adelaide. I have to get this body ready for another night shift," he said softly through a yawn before placing his head on my shoulder and falling asleep.

My body shook as I tried to contain my sobs when the sleeping demon rolled over onto his side so that his back was facing me as he continued to snore. I turned onto my right side and pulled my legs up as much as my injured body would allow and sobbed quietly until my mind succumbed to the sweet release of sleep.

******************************Meanwhile back at the house********************************

When Bobby woke up Toby had already brewed a pot of coffee, put out a mug beside the coffee maker and placed some muffins and pastries on a plate for Bobby to help himself.

Bobby grabbed a strawberry Danish and rolled over to the breakfast nook while looking over one of Toby's map. He was just about to turn to get a cup of coffee after placing the plate on the table when he heard the backdoor open.

Bobby stole a glance at the clock on the oven before asking, "Hey Toby, shouldn't you be at school son?"

Toby placed a bowlful of herbs onto the island and laughed softly. "Here Bobby, I'll get your coffee for you. I called Mr. McLean and told him that I was spending the day at the hospital because of mom's condition."

As Toby placed the coffee mug beside Bobby's plate, he sat down and flashed the hunter a warm smile.

"I figured that this way you and I could finalize our plan so that we can go and save Addy."

Bobby shook his head as he took a drink of coffee. "Well I won't argue with that logic. So Toby, who's Mr. McLean?"

"He's my teacher," Toby responded nonchalantly.

"Oh? Well, what happened to that pretty young thing that I met at your Bar B Que?"

"Pretty young…? Do you mean Ms. Shamley? Eww Bobby gross!" Toby shook his head and got up to start preparing the herbs from the garden so that he could take them with him to complete his spells. "She had a family emergency, so she had to go to Seattle to take care of it and she took the rest of the year off."

Bobby finished his Danish and put his plate by the sink and asked, "Are you sure that's all there is to it? I mean, you're sure that you can trust this Mr. McLean?"

"Definitely!" Toby replied cheerfully. "When I get his coffee, I add Holy Water and he's never reacted to it, not even once. And he now thinks that when I'm frustrated that I say "Christo" instead of cursing."

"Oh, okay. So, you've run all of the tests, then. Like I said, Addy has taught you well," Bobby mused as he looked over some of our research again. "Tell me Toby, how is it that you know that the demon is possessing the Sheriff again?"

Toby sat down and started putting the prepared herbs into small film vials so that he could carry them with ease.

"Well there were a couple of different clues. First he didn't ask about mom or how I was doing at school. He's been checking in with me about that a lot lately, especially since… umm my fight at school. But the biggest hint was that he said that Addy was going to go out to the Henderson's farm to look for more clues. Now why would she do that when Dean and she destroyed the barn? Plus…" Toby trailed off to focus on his work more intently.

"Plus what Toby?" Bobby asked with mild concern.

"Plus the Sherriff's wife had a miscarriage and she's still in the hospital because of some complications. The demon could easily have Addy tied up in their home without anyone knowing," Toby explained while staring at his hands with tears welling up in his eyes.

Bobby leaned over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. The older hunter hated that Toby had to be such a major player in my rescue, but he also knew that there was no other way. He was stuck in a wheelchair, Sam and Dean had disappeared with Castiel without any timeline for their return, so he needed Toby's help more than he wanted to admit.

"It's okay Toby. You did some great work son and I'm convinced that you're right. So, what's the plan? Do we head out after lunch?"

Toby shook his head sadly and answered, "No… no, we should wait until a bit later. The Sheriff was working a night shift last night and he'll be working the same shift today. I checked and his house should be empty any time after five tonight."

"Wow… that's really impressive Toby. Okay, so I guess that means we have some time to get out plan together then. SO, what do you know about the Lamb's house son?"


	13. Sad But It's The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thank you for sticking it through. The last one was a tough one, but it was strangely cathartic for me at the time I wrote it. This is another uncomfortable one, but I promise end of the chapter is worth it…well I hope you think it's worth it.

I woke up later that afternoon alone still shackled to the king sized bed in the Lamb residence. My legs remained unbound and I once again tried to make my body more comfortable by curling into the fetal position. Unfortunately my abused body ached so much that any movement caused me to yelp in pain, so I instantly ceased any more movement.

 _Oh God, what am I going to do now?_ I tearfully contemplated as I lay on my side with my knees bent, but not quite pulled up towards my chest.

Every inch of my lower body throbbed uncomfortably and my wrists felt like my skin was wearing away to the bone. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths trying to keep myself calm. Off in the distance I could hear water running while Pacer was preparing for his next disgusting onslaught.

 _Man, what I wouldn't give for a hot bath right now_ , I thought to myself as I allowed my brain to daydream about being far away from this bed, this house and this situation.

"Adelaide… Adelaide," Pacer's sing song voice pierced through my attempts to daydream myself to a more pleasant setting.

I tried to pretend that I was still sleeping, but my willingness to participate didn't seem to have any effect on his plans for out time together. I was on my left side and I soon felt his hand petting my face while I continued to keep my eyes closed.

"Adelaide," he whispered into my right ear. "You don't have to be awake… although it does make it more fun."

As he continued to stroke my face, I started to stir and turn onto my back, but the chains of the handcuffs immediately interrupted any movement. In a state of confusion, I opened my eyes to assess my new situation.

"There's my brown eyed girl," he stated joyfully while still petting my face.

"Pacer, what…?" I started to ask in a sleepy daze.

"I thought you might be uncomfortable on your back so I switched the cuffs around while you were sleeping to let you sleep on your stomach. But now I'm starting to think… mmm…" He trailed off as I rolled onto my stomach so that I was face down on the mattress.

I hated to admit it to myself, but Pacer wasn't wrong. By lying on my stomach, it was easier for me to bend my elbows which took an enormous amount of pressure off my aching shoulders. I held onto the post above my head and tried to slowly pull myself into a kneeling position.

As I did so, I suddenly felt a knee be jabbed sharply into my back and I fell flat on my stomach yelping "Ow!" into the pillow.

Pacer grabbed my hair and pulled my head back with his knee still squarely placed into my back.

My only response was to whimper, "Oww… please, don't… please?"

He then lowered his face beside mine and hissed, "Like I said, you don't have to be awake, but (he took in a long breath while sniffing my hair) to hear you scream… feel that? It's… exciting."

I started to sob softly and pleaded, "Please… stop, please? I can't take much more… please?"

Pacer wrapped his right arm around my waist and ran his left hand lovingly down my back while he raised my buttocks into the air. I tried to force my midsection down, but the demon just tightened his hold around my waist and pulled me roughly onto Don's excited body.

"STOP!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs as I felt him force himself into my already damaged body.

"Yes! Louder Adelaide! Scream for me!" He panted passionately after he had mounted my body and started to rock aggressively.

"Nooo," I sobbed quietly, too weak to fight back anymore.

As he continued his back and forth motion, I noticed that the louder my cries became, the harder his thrusts became. His hand somehow found the back of my head and in the heat of the moment, Pacer's hand shoved my face into the pillow on the bed and my ability to breath turn out to be nearly non-existent.

Once I realized that he wasn't going to loosen his grip and allow me to breath, I started to struggle out of his hold. This time my efforts to get out of his grasp wasn't to put his violation of my body to an end, instead I was trying desperately to regain my ability to breath while I hyperventilated into the cloth of the pillowcase that my face was pressed into.

Pacer continued his demented game as I tried to push my face up off the mattress. He then moved his hand from the back of my head to my hip and I heaved in a large gasp of air while holding the headboard in a death grip. Now that he had a hand on each hip, the demon forced my body into a complimentary back and forth motion until I felt him jerk and sputter during his orgasmic finale.

He collapsed on top of me as I continued to take quick short breaths. As I cried softly, Pacer brushed my hair back and kissed the scab on the back of my neck.

"SO much better when you're awake," he praised as he nuzzled his face into my hair and hugged me close while we were on our sides so that my back was tucked into his chest.

My already aching body pulsated even more intensely and I lay limply in his arms, too weak to wriggle out of his embrace.

Pacer rubbed his temple against my hair and said, "Well sweet Adelaide, the Sheriff has to get to work and help protect this little hamlet. You rest up, especially that beautiful voice of yours, and we'll continue this when I get home."

Once I was sure that I heard Pacer lock the front door, I made another attempt to get to my knees. I grabbed onto the metal post above my head and slowly moved my hands towards the top. As I moved my knees in the direction of the headboard, my whole lower body gave out and the wind got knocked out of me as I landed hard on my chest and stomach.

"Okay Addy, no time to be a superhero. Pacer's right, you need to rest," I told myself softly out loud. "Rest now and then we'll figure out a way out of this mess."

**********************************************************************************************************************************

"Okay, so we have enough Holy Water to drown a fish, tons of salt, the shot guns with salt rounds," Toby recited as he categorized everything he had put into my old army duffle bag. "And I wrote out an exorcism I think will work. So, I think that's everything, right?"

"And let's not forget about this too son," Bobby added with a huge triumphant grin.

"Is that THE Colt? Awesome! This thing is SO dead," Toby exclaimed excitedly while lifting the duffle bag onto his shoulder. "Alright, so I'll call the Sheriff to double check that he's at the office and then we can get this show on the road."

"Sounds good… I'll meet you at the van. Why don't I take that the duffle bag out with me while you make that call?" Bobby offered while putting his hand out towards Toby.

Toby slipped the handles off of his should, but hesitated when he read the faded black lettering that said "JONES" on the side. Bobby took Toby's hand in his while claiming the handles of the duffle bag.

"We'll get her back son, I promise," Bobby asserted lovingly.

Toby nodded slowly and tried to give Bobby a confident smile, but a few stray tears betrayed his attempts at a steely resolve.

Bobby rolled closer to him and held his shoulders with caring firmness as he said, "Toby, she's strong. She's stronger than most any hunter I've met. Addy can handle whatever this thing throws at her, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, I know Bobby," Toby whispered brushing away his tears with the back of his hand. "It just that I just…"

"You just what son?" Bobby prodded when the young boy trailed off without finishing the thought.

"I just… just…fa…" Toby looked up from their hands at Bobby's face and refocused his attention quickly. "I just really hate the thought of her being hurt, you know?"

"I know son, I know. I don't like that thought either, but she's a fighter. Once we get her home, we'll all help her get through this. Now… why don't you make that call and I'll meet you at the van, okay?"

"Yeah… okay, I can do that Bobby," Toby replied while relinquishing the handles of the bag to Bobby so that he could pick up the phone.

" _Dubuque County Sheriff's Office."_

"Hi… is the Sheriff in?"

" _Yeah, he just stepped into his office. Who's calling?"_

Toby quickly hung up the phone and rushed out the door. After he hopped into the van's passenger seat, he slammed the door and breathlessly exclaimed, "He's at the office… we're good to go Bobby!"

Once they reached the Lambs' house, Toby helped Bobby out of the van and once again insisted carrying their bag of supplies after each of them pocketed a bottle of Holy Water. They made their way to the back door and Bobby pulled out a pouch with a small tool kit to start his attempts at picking the deadbolt lock on the door.

"Bobby," Toby whispered. "Let me try."

Bobby started to pass Toby the leather pouch, but the young boy ignored it to reached out and turn the knob on the door. He was able to do so without any protest and easily pushed the metal door open.

When he saw the stunned look on the older hunter's face, Toby shrugged and said, "I forget to lock the back door all the time when I leave the house. Kidder's a small town, the only trouble we've had lately are… well demons."

Bobby chuckled and shook his head still showing his disbelief. "Well then, let's get our butts inside before the neighbors witness their first BNE then."

Once inside they both looked around the kitchen to get their bearings. Toby had thankfully remembered the layout of the house to near perfection since his only visit over a year ago for the Sheriff's victory party after the last election.

"Okay, so you head that way to check the garage. Don't forget to draw out some Devil's Traps by the doors, but not too close," Bobby instructed as Toby pulled out a silver Sharpie marker to prove that he was prepared. "I'll go this way and check the bedrooms. Now be careful and if you hear anyone that isn't me…"

"Salt line and Holy Water," Toby interrupted showing Bobby his flask.

"Okay then. You watch your back son… and mine," Bobby cautioned again before exiting the room.

After he left the kitchen, Bobby painstakingly got himself turned around so that he could place a salt line in the foot of the door frame. Hunting was a difficult job, but Bobby had found that with the new constraint of his wheelchair, he had to be more careful than he had ever been in his life. An attack from the front was still manageable, but an attack from behind proved to be much more difficult these days.

In the living room he found the books, maps and other materials that I had brought in with me to show Don. He checked them over quickly, but stopped in his tracks when he found a small pool of dark sticky liquid on the coffee table.

Bobby dipped his fingers into it and rubbed his thumb against his middle and forefingers thinking, _Blood. It must have knocked her out on the table. Now where is the bastard keeping her?_

Bobby continued his investigation while passing by the opened door of a bathroom. He looked in to find that room empty and not to be of much interest at all. Close to this bathroom was the open door of a guest bedroom that was nothing but an empty room, so he opted to check out the closed door of the master bedroom as his next place to investigate. Before he opened the door, Bobby pulled out the Colt and readied it as he turned the knob just in case he ran into something unexpected on the other side.

I awoke to the sound of the handcuffs being opened and when I felt them being removed I immediately wrapped my hands around my knees and tucked my face into my lap. I felt a hand on my back between my shoulder blades and I instinctively flinched away from the fingers' light touch.

"Please Pacer, no more? Please? Just no more?" I quietly pleaded as I clung tightly to my knees. "I… I… I can't take anymore…"

"Oh God… Addy," the voice behind me stammered in sad amazement.

Once the voice registered in my exhausted brain, I rolled over very slowly asking, "Bobby?"

He reached out and touched my shoulder replying, "I'm here Koala Bear, I'm here."

"Bobby!" I cried out while I momentarily forgot that Pacer had left me shackled completely naked to the Lambs' marital bed and lunged at Bobby to give him a hug. "Bobby! You're here! Thank God you're here!"

"Shh… it's okay Addy," Bobby consoled me as I sobbed tears of relief onto his shoulder. He rubbed my back affectionately and continued, "It's okay… Toby and I are here. We're going to get you home now Koala Bear. Everything is going to be alright."

I looked up into his moist, compassion filled eyes and suddenly realized that I was gripping him tightly while wearing nothing but my "birthday suit". I quickly grabbed a sheet from behind me and covered my body while sheepishly apologizing, "Oh shit… sorry Bobby. I… I didn't…"

He pulled me close into a hug again and choked on some tears and a chuckle saying, "You have nothing to apologize for Koala Bear. You're alive and that's all that matters."

I allowed myself to relax in his embrace, took in a deep cleansing breath and caught the comforting scent of motor oil and gunpowder. Feeling Bobby's loving arms around me helped me to finally snap out of my self-loathing state, at least for the time being, and I sat straight up while holding the sheet close to my body.

"Toby? He's here with you?" I asked without hiding my concern.

"Yes he is Addy. In fact he's the one that marked the Sheriff as the demon," Bobby recalled proudly.

We shared a tear filled exchange of relieved smiles as our hearts swelled with pride.

"That's my Toby," I whispered. "Okay Bobby, enough of this blubbering. Let's get the hell out of here."

Bobby passed me my yoga pants and hoody saying, "I second that emotion wholeheartedly."

He started for the door while I quickly got dressed when we both heard a shriek come from the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Toby had swiftly moved to the garage as soon as he and Bobby parted ways at the back door. At first he saw nothing more than the usual boxes and Rubbermaid containers used for storage because he struggled to find a light switch to illuminate the room for a better view. Once he did, he immediately saw my GTO parked there and he ran to the passenger's door to try the handle. After it opened, he checked that everything was in its proper place and smiled brightly at the sight of my keys were in the ignition to make it easier for us to extract the beautiful beast from the demon's lair.

He then stepped back into the kitchen and closed the garage door behind him. As he was placing a line of salt down in the door frame, he heard the back door open and close.

"Who the…?" A bewildered male's voice questioned behind him before the person grabbed his arm abruptly which caused Toby to drop his container of salt.

"You must be Toby," Pacer said with malice in his voice as he pulled the preteen close by Toby's right arm. "Well that would make you my dear sweet Adelaide's…"

"De victus nil nisi bonum," Toby recited as he threw a film vial full of herbs onto the demon. "Deo volente Ipsa scienta protesta est nil sine numine De victus nil nisi bonum."

Once the demon released the boy from his grasp, Toby retorted smugly, "Oh and ADDY waters the herb garden with Holy Water. Hope it doesn't sting too much DEMON."

Pacer immediately writhed in pain as he worked at removing all of the green bits of his body that Toby had thrown at him. The demon itched and scratched at his face, neck and torso in the same manner as someone who had had itching powder thrown at them while quietly cursing the boy.

Then Pacer let out a hearty laugh replying, "No… no, it doesn't sting too much, but there's something you must know little Tobias…"

"What? Who my real parents are? Screw you! I already know ALL about that, so that can't hurt me! And you blabbing about it to her to try to mess with her head won't work either. The incantation made sure of that!" Toby interrupted victoriously.

Pacer froze in his spot and stared dumbfounded at Toby stammering, "You… you know? And it… it doesn't bother you?"

Toby cocked an eyebrow and gave Pacer his best Dean Winchester smirk while coming back saying, "Nope… so try your worst, but that ain't it!"

Unfortunately Toby had gotten so caught up in his witty rejoinders that he hadn't made sure that he was out of the demon's reach while he continued his defiant taunts. Pacer lashed out and grabbed Toby's arm and pulled him close to his torso while the demon was still stuck in his place by one of Toby's expertly drawn Devil's Trap, causing Toby to shriek loudly in surprise.

"Fine… if words can't hurt you then I guess I'll just have to settle with snapping your arrogant little neck. That means no home run derbies for you little boy," Pacer vicious proclaimed.

"OW! Let me go! Let me go!" Toby yelled defiantly as he struggled out of Pacer's hold.

"TOBY!" Bobby yelled as he leveled the Colt to aim at Pacer's head.

"Bobby! I can't reach my Holy Water!" Toby cried out as Pacer began to chuckle loudly crushing Toby in his arms.

I stepped in behind Bobby just as Toby was shifting to give Bobby a clear shot at Pacer's head.

I grabbed Bobby's hand and lowered the pistol saying, "No Bobby. He's in Don and Veronica needs him now. Please?"

Pacer started to laugh loudly. "Still protecting him, eh? You ARE a special one Adelaide."

Pacer had loosened his grip slightly and Toby used the distraction our exchanged afforded to wriggle in the demon's arms to pop the top off another vial of herbs. In one quick fluid motion, he threw its contents up into Pacer's face saying "Deo fideus!"

Pacer released Toby to throw his hands up to his face. He swatted and scratched at his eyes trying to get every last fleck off of his skin as quickly as he could Toby fell hard on his knees, but recovered almost immediately and sprinted towards me. We wrapped our arms around each other and I nearly broke down in tears of relief.

"Addy! You're okay!" He exclaimed cheerfully.

"Yeah, I'm okay Buddy," I replied as I held his face and kissed his forehead. "Now, you go and pack up my books and meet us outside, okay?"

He started to object, but decided against it and nodded before going into the adjacent room to collect all of our research materials. I watched him briefly to ensure that he was in fact following my orders then I turned my attention back to the two men in the kitchen.

"So what do we do with him then Koala Bear?" Bobby inquired while motioning towards Pacer with the Colt in his right hand.

"Just no head shots Bobby," I replied determinedly. I then turned towards Pacer and glared at him. I wanted to say something clever and hurtful, but he beat me to the punch.

"Mmm... you're going to miss me Adelaide," the demon started to taunt. "You'll get lonely and be longing for just one more roll…"

**BANG**

Don's body fell to the ground as his wound and face flashed orange, black and white like the flame of a flickering candle. I jumped in my spot and then stared down at Bobby in stunned disbelief.

He shrugged and smiled explaining, "Demons talk too much… I got tired of hearing his voice."

I chuckled softly. "No argument there Bobby. Why don't you head out and I'll clean up in here?"

"Addy…" Bobby started to caution.

I leaned down and kissed his cheek and tried to appease him by saying, "Bobby, I'll be fine. Pacer's gone, I know that… but I want to make sure the Don won't bleed to death."

"Okay," he reluctantly agreed. "Just don't take too long."

"Promise. I'll be right out."

After Bobby maneuvered his way around Don's legs, he hesitated at the door and gave me one last sad, worried smile before exiting the house. I walked over and picked up Toby's container of salt along with an unopened film vial that he had dropped.

Don coughed a few times then sat with his back against the island in the middle of the kitchen while groaning loudly. He squeezed his left shoulder then looked up at me as he hissed in pain.

"Thanks for saving me Ads… but, don't worry about the mess, I can clean it up after I get this taken care of."

"Oh, I'm not worried Don," I replied warmly as I kneeled down beside him. "Here, let me take a look at that." I continued as I gingerly moved his hand from the hole in his shoulder.

"Ah man… thanks Ads… OWWW! FUCK!"

I continued to press in the handful of salt as I leaned in close and viciously sneered, "We're done Don. Done! You don't call me, you don't drop by, you don't even look at me… Got it?"

He stared at me dumbly but didn't reply, so I jabbed thumb deeper into the salt encrusted wound.

"GOT IT?"

"Shit! OW! Yeah… yeah… I got it."

I got up to leave while wiping my hands on my legs when Don called out, "But Ads, you know it wasn't…"

I whipped around and snapped, "DON'T! Don't even try to say it! We both know he wasn't lying about that!"

"Ads… Ads, I'm… I'm sorry."

"Yeah… whatever Don. Come near me again and it won't be a shoulder shot."


	14. Queen Victoria's England Will Never Be the Same Again

I met Bobby and Toby by Bobby's van and Toby once again threw his arms around me with the largest, brightest smile that I have ever seen on his face.

"So it's over now, right? We can take you home now?" He questioned as tears of relief fell from his eyes.

"Yeah, it's over Buddy… for now at least," I replied while holding his cheeks with both hands and wiping his tears away with my thumbs the best I could. "But there'll be other demons, Toby… there always are, don't forget that." I finished bitterly.

Toby nodded his understanding, then I leaned up to kiss his cheek and softly ordered, "Now, you go with Bobby and I'll meet you at home."

He squeezed me tighter to his body and Bobby caught my face contorting as I winced in pain and stifled an anguished yelp.

"No Addy, I don't want you to go anywhere by yourself. Can't I ride with you?"

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath to keep my calm demeanor from breaking while I spoke. "Toby, I'm sorry but you can't come with me right now Buddy. I have to… I need to get my wrists looked at to make sure that they won't get infected…"

"I don't mind waiting for you at the hospital," Toby countered with a tone of loving support while his head was still pressed against my shoulder.

I again closed my eyes tight while I was trying to think of a way to explain to him why it was essential for me to go to the hospital alone without having to tell him the brutal truth that he obviously hadn't become aware of just yet. My predicament finally came clear to Bobby and he hung his head remorsefully as the realization hit him. He had almost forgotten that female hunters could endure forms of torture that male hunter rarely, if ever, had to deal with when they were held captive.

"Son, Addy could be a while at the hospital. Why don't we head home and get dinner started so it's ready for when she's all patched up?" Bobby suggested.

I sighed softly and looked over at Bobby and mouthed "Thank you" because I was sure that Toby would listen to his reasoning and allow me to venture off alone.

"Okay," Toby slowly started to concede. "I could make you my specialty if you wanted."

"That would be perfect Buddy. Thanks."

I squeezed him as tightly as my aching body would allow as I thanked him. Then Toby pushed himself slowly out of my embrace and sternly said, "But you better check-in with us until you get home, you hear?"

I started to laugh softly, but when that reaction elicited a stomp of Toby's foot and an authoritative stare, I straightened up and replied, "Yes sir. Would a phone call every 20 minutes be sufficient?"

Toby narrowed his eyes in thoughtful contemplation. "Every 20 minutes… okay. But not a minute more!"

I pulled him close again and replied serenely, "Not a minute more, I promise." I released him from my embrace and squeezed his shoulders then asked, "Now… have either of you seen Phantom?"

Toby chuckled and nodded towards the now open door of the garage. "Keys are in the ignition."

"Perfect." I then held Toby's face in my hands and placed a determined kiss on his forehead. "I love you so much Buddy. I'll see you at home, okay?"

Toby placed his hands on top of mine and held them tightly. "I love you too Ahh…" For some reason his words seemed to get caught in his throat and then he coughed to clear the lump. "I love you too."

Once I was behind the wheel of my car; I smiled brightly while I waved at Bobby and Toby as they drove away. As soon as I was sure that they were out of sight range, I couldn't hold it in anymore and I broke down completely into uncontrollable sobs. My body had been brutalized in a way that no other creature had harmed me in the past and I had no idea what kind of timeline it would take to recover.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when I finally had my fill of self-loathing tears, I wiped my face on my sleeve and said to myself, "Okay, first we have to find out how bad the damage is and then we can decide how to proceed from there."

I turned out of the driveway and made my to the Emergency Room at a hospital two counties over because Kidder was a small town and I couldn't risk becoming the person everyone whispered about… the girl who was… "The Victim".

I had just merged onto the highway when I heard Nelly's 'Batter Up' playing from my Blackberry Curve.

"What the hell?" I questioned as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. "Toby," I chuckled after stealing a glance at the display.

During our beautiful reunion, Toby must have gotten a hold of my phone and set the timer to go off every twenty minutes.

Toby picked up the phone at home after the first ring and I was still laughing softly.

" _Well that was twenty and a half minutes, but I'll let it slide this once,"_ he commented as his greeting. _"So? What does the doctor say?"_

I swallowed hard before responding, "I haven't quite made it in to see the doctor yet. Umm… the ER is super busy tonight Buddy."

" _Okay… well I guess I'll hold off on starting dinner for a bit then… I don't want it to get all cold and gross before you get home. I'll talk to you again in… seventeen minutes!"_

"Sounds like a plan Buddy. Thanks again for taking care of dinner, you're the best. I'll call you back in… sixteen minutes."

I looked over at the clock above my car stereo. "Okay, if I'm going to make this plausible, I better haul ass," I told myself as I pressed my foot down on the accelerator.

As I pulled into the half full parking lot of the Jones' County Medical Centre, I again heard _**Swing batter batter Swing batter batter Swing batter up!**_

" _That's much better! So?"_

"Whoa! Tobs, is the phone glued to your hand or something?"

" _Don't change the subject Ah… So are you on your way home? You'll be fine, right? They bandaged you up and now you're good?"_

"Still waiting Buddy," I replied with a slight tone of annoyance so that he would think that I was just as bothered by the delay as he was. "I'm sorry it's taking so long, but apparently the on-call doctor is sick so they have to work short tonight. But when I know a better time line, you'll know, okay?"

" _UGH! Just tell them to hurry it up already! But… fine, if we must we'll wait a bit longer then I guess we wait. Talk to you soon."_

When I put my phone away, I stood awkwardly at the entrance of the Emergency Room unsure in which direction I would find the Admitting Desk. I tentatively started walking in the direction of the only noise that I could hear within the building. Luckily I soon found a desk with a sign hanging above it that simply read "ADMITTING" with an older female nurse behind it straightening papers before double checking something on the computer.

I was still feeling embarrassed about the events that had transpired over the past twenty four hours, so I approached the busy nurse while pulling the sleeves of my hoody over my hands. I wanted to ensure that matching red, rough contusions on each of my wrists were hidden until I absolutely had to show them.

"Umm… excuse me, but I need to see a doctor," I timidly explained.

"Do you have your insurance card?" She questioned without turning her eyes away from the computer screen.

"Yes ma'am," I replied while pulling out a small black leather pouch out of my pocket. As I slid it across the counter I said, "Here you go."

She had pulled out a form and was placing it on a clipboard before she snatched the card off the counter so that she could start filling out some information on the form.

"So… Ms. Wells, what do you need to see the doctor about tonight?"

She finally looked up from the paperwork when I didn't immediately answer her question. "Well?" She asked sounding rather annoyed and impatient.

I looked to my left and then to my right, triple checking that no one could overhear our conversation. I felt confident that the few people milling about in the triage area were preoccupied with their own ailments and conversations to try to overhear what I was about to say, so I pulled back my sleeves, took a step forward and replied just over a whisper, "I was umm… assaulted."

The nurse's face finally softened when she saw the involuntary tears that had formed in my eyes. She gently took both of my hands in each of hers to inspect the marks on my wrists and then inquired with a tone of caring concern, "And are these the only injuries that you sustained?"

I pursed my lips then chewed lightly on the now healing cut on the lower right side of my lip, slowly shaking my head as I tried to force my tears to stay in my eyes.

"It's okay Ms. Wells, I think I understand. Why don't you finish filling this out and the doctor will be with you shortly," she kindly instructed while passing me the clipboard with a pen attached to it.

As I was completing the last few sections of the forms, I looked up and caught a glimpse of the Admitting nurse speaking to another nurse. When she finished her story, they both turned towards me and shook their heads sadly.

I immediately diverted my gaze and pulled my sleeves down again over my wrists while forcing back more tears of frustration.

 _FUCK! THE look,_ I thought resentfully to myself. _I HATE that fucking look._

I sat back and continued to wait for my turn with my head bowed, staring intently at the paperwork in my lap. As I sat there, I felt like every eye was on me and that anyone speaking in a hushed tone was whispering about my condition. Soon my paranoia got the best of me and a few tears dripped onto the form in my lap. I tried my best to dry them with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, but my efforts were unsuccessful and the wet spots remained to serve as a reminder of how helpless I was feeling at this point in time. I then wiped my eyes and kept my sleeve covered hands up to my cheeks so that I could absorb any other wayward tears before they hit the paper while I waited.

"Wells? Rusty Wells?"

I quickly wiped my cheeks and then picked up the clipboard before calling out softly, "Yes, that's me."

I got up and walked towards a slender female doctor who was roughly a few years older than me with her jet black hair pulled into a bun.

"Hi Ms. Wells, I'm Dr. Danni Fisher. Please follow me this way," she politely directed as her she smiled warmly and showed me into a smaller room with a solid light blue door.

"Please, call me Rusty Dr. Fisher."

"Okay Rusty, just take a seat right over there," she said pointing to an examination table covered in white paper while she was looking over the paperwork I had completed.

"So, Rusty, the Admitting Clerk briefly explained your situation to me… now with these types of circumstances, I always like to ensure that proper protocol is being followed." She paused and looked up to make sure that I was hearing her words of caution and I nodded in understanding. "So, I have to ask, have you contacted…"

"Yes Doctor," I interrupted in hopes that it would expedite the process so that we could complete the examination. "Yes, Sheriff Lamb is aware of my situation and the… umm culprit has been taken care of."

"Sheriff Lamb? Oh… I see here that you're from Kidder… okay then. So, let's start by taking a look at your lacerations on your wrists."

She offered a warm, comforting smile of encouragement as I pushed my sleeves up to my elbows.

"May I ask what caused this?" She questioned as she took my hands and turned them over to examine the rings that ran around my wrists.

I swallowed as I faintly replied, "Handcuffs."

The doctor's eyes remained focused on my wounds and she remained deep in thought as she said, "That looks about right. Although, I've only seen damage like this on guys that have resisted arrest something fierce. You must have put up quite a fight there…"

When I diverted my gaze, Dr. Fisher refocused her attention on my face to say, "But that also means that I know that they are an easy fix. All I have to do is clean and dress them."

"Really?" I whispered hoarsely. "That's all?"

"Yes, that's all. Now… for the less comfortable topic…"

I pulled my sleeves over my hands again and started playing with the cuffs while avoiding any and all eye contact. I knew what questions she was required and needing to ask me, but I was still silently hoping that she wouldn't, that we didn't actually have to talk about it. I just wanted her to patch me up and let me go, just like the Connors had so many times in the past. Talking about it wasn't going to heal me any faster, so I just wanted to go and move onto the next challenge so I could put this all behind me.

"I'm sorry Rusty… I know this isn't easy, but I have to ask these questions so that I know what treatment to prescribe."

"It's okay Dr. Fisher… I know that you're just doing your job. Umm… yes he… uhh he… umm did… three times that I know of at least."

"I'm sorry… did you say that there were three separate incidences of sexual assault?" The doctor clarified without attempting to hide her astonishment.

I kept my head bow and nodded ever so slightly as I dried my right eye with my sleeve.

She rolled the chair she was seated forward so that she was closer to where I was seated and held my left hand. "It's okay Rusty, what happened… it's not your fault."

"I know… but thank you. And… umm to answer your question, yes… it was three times. Again… that I know of that is," I replied slowly looking at her hand that was holding my own.

She gave my hand one last squeeze then returned her attention to the clipboard she was holding. "Okay, so before I start my actual examination, I just have a few questions that I would like to ask about your medical history. That is if you're ready."

"Sure, I'm fine. Please go ahead, ask whatever you need to," I replied before taking a deep breath. I looked her square in the eye while trying to put on a brave face for her benefit so that we could continue without hesitation.

"Okay, if you're sure. Here you put on your history that you have been pregnant before… may I ask how long ago? Also, did you carry to full term?"

"Oh… that. Umm… it was twelve years ago… give or take a few months. And, yes, I did carry him to term. In fact, he's quite a precocious preteen now."

"I hear you there… my eldest has just broken into the terrible teens," she commented looking up from her lap with a comforting smile on her face. "And, are you still…"

"Still with the father? Yes Doctor I am. He has been out of town on business while I was helping… umm the Deputy with his case," I interrupted sounding somewhat confident, but as I spoke, my voice lost some of its gusto.

"Oh… I guess that would explain the handcuffs. Alright, so I would assume that that means that you have been sexually active over the last few months, at least?"

"Yes, Dean… the father and I have been… yes. But we have always used protection. Well, except for… well for that one time," I answered as the doctor chuckled because she realized that I meant every time except for the day that my child was conceived.

 _Shit! Did he the last time? Yeah… of course he did. No? CRAP! Okay… Addy settle… settle down. She doesn't need to know about that,_ I thought to myself in near panic ridden recognition.

"Okay, well that's very good to hear. Alright, I think those are the most important questions, but before we begin, why don't you put on this gown while I go and get an ultrasound machine? We can then get the hard part over and done with so that you can get home to your 'little' one," she explained sympathetically while passing me a pair of mint green scrub pants and a baby blue hospital gown.

"Okay… thank you Dr. Fisher."

After she stepped out of the room, I instantly pulled out my cell phone and called home.

" _Hey! It hasn't been twenty minutes yet!"_ Toby answered the phone sounding confused and yet somewhat hopeful.

"I know Buddy, but I'm in with the doctor right now, so I figured that I might miss the pre-approved twenty minute mark while she's fixing me up. Once we're done here, I'll call you again and then every twenty minutes after that, okay?"

" _Finally! Took long enough! But thank God you're in with the doctor now. Okay… I'll talk to you soon then! Love you"_

"I love you too Buddy," I tearfully replied before I hung up the phone so that I could change into the clothing that the doctor had provided.

What I didn't know was that while I quickly made my phone call to check-in, the doctor was making a call of her own to check on a few facts with the Sheriff.

" _Good evening, this is the Dubuque County Sheriff's Office. How my I direct your call?"_

"Hi, I'm Dr. Fisher from the Jones' County Medical Center. I need to speak with the Sheriff about a case."

" _Oh, I'm sorry, but the Sheriff is out of the office right now. If you wouldn't mind holding the line, I could transfer you to his cell phone,"_ the secretary du jour replied.

"Oh please, if you could transfer me, I would greatly appreciate it."

" _Just hold the line one moment please."_

After a brief pause, the phone rang once again.

" _Good evening, Sheriff Lamb speaking."_

"Hi Sheriff, my name is Danni Fisher… I'm a doctor in the Emergency Room at the Jones County Medical Center and I'm calling in regards to a young lady that…"

" _Oh thank God that she's with you,"_ Don interrupted letting his relief show in every word.

"Oh, okay, so you are aware of her situation then. That's good to know. And may I ask, so you have the suspect in custody? Well… actually she put it as, the suspect has been 'taken care of', is that so? Will you need anything from us and our examination?"

" _Yes… umm what she told you is true. We won't need it right away, but if we do at least we know that you have it in case we require the… umm evidence when the case goes to trial. Thank you doctor and please, please take really good care of her."_

"Well that is my main objective Sheriff. Thank you for clarifying those points."

When the doctor returned to the room that I was in, I had changed into the hospital attire that she had provided. Dr. Fisher offered me a warm smile that seemed to have more sincerity behind it that before she left then room as she readied her equipment to complete her uncomfortable tasks.

"Okay Rusty, I'm going to start my examination. First I'll do an ultrasound, to determine if there's any damage that needs to be addressed, then I'll take some blood samples to run some tests and finally we'll dress the wounds on your wrists, okay? Do you have any questions?"

"No, I understand," I replied as I nodded the laid back onto the exam table.

She completed her most evasive assessments first and reported contentedly that she didn't find anything that would be of any major concern. The doctor remained fairly quiet while she did her examination with the ultrasound, but when she was finished she once again reported that she hadn't seen anything of significant concern.

"Okay Rusty, if you would like to get dressed now, I'll send the nurse in and she'll draw the blood we need, dress your wounds and give you a tetanus shot then we'll have you on your way, okay?"

"Sure, okay… but Dr. Fisher?"

"Yes Rusty? What is it?"

"Umm… since the Deputy didn't… umm I mean he wasn't… safe and all. Is there… umm any chance that I could…uhh, you know… umm get the umm… morning after pill?" I awkwardly asked while staring at my fingers as I picked at the coal black polish on my nails.

"Now you do understand that if there is even the slightest chance that you may be pregnant, even if conception happened before the assault, that it will most likely cause a miscarriage," Dr. Fisher cautioned sounding like a seasoned professional.

I furrowed my brown and thought, _There's no way you're… no, Addy you have to be sure… you have to do whatever is necessary. You have to complete the job, that's all that matters._

"Yes doctor, I understand all of that. I just have to make sure that there are no… umm you know, uhh 'long term effects' after what happened."

"Okay, as long as you understand the possible consequences Rusty. I'll send her in soon so that we can get you all patched up and then we'll have you on your way," she replied as she stepped to my side and held my hand in a gesture of comfort.

"Thank you," I answered quietly while staring at her hand on my own.

She gently squeezed my hand then firmly stated, "And if you need any numbers for people that can…"

"Oh, that's okay Dr. Fisher, but thank you, again. Once I get home I have more support than I'll be able to handle. I just need to make sure that everything is taken care of first," I interrupted warmly.

"Alright then… here, please take my card. I you need anything, anything at all, please do call me, okay?"

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, "Thank you, that's very kind. I will… if I need anything I'll call."

"Okay then, I'll send the nurse in shortly. If I do see you before you leave, please do take care. Keep being a fighter and I think you'll be just fine."

I smiled and nodded while choking back tears and then she left the room. As I was zipping up my hoody, I heard a knock on the door and a nurse entered the room. She worked quickly to draw a few vials of blood and then gave me a very painful shot into the muscle of my upper left arm before cleaning and wrapping my wrists with gauze.

"I hope that didn't hurt you too much. Now… if the gauze gets wet, just use this to redress them," she explained politely. "But after tomorrow, you should uncover them and let the cuts breath. Just be sure to keep them clean and you don't have to use anything fancy, soap and water will do."

I smiled and nodded confidently to show that I understood everything that she was telling me. Of course what the nurse didn't know was that I had dealt with more cuts and bruises than most people my age, so my wrists were quite literally the least of my concerns.

She then passed me a plastic cup with a small white pill in it and another paper cup with water.

"Here you go Miss. Please keep in mind that you my experience some spotting," she continued to explain with a tone of professional indifference. "The doctor didn't find anything of significant concern at this time, but if you experience any uncomfortable abdominal pain, be sure to get to your family doctor or any doctor immediately, okay? That could be the sign of major complications."

"Yes ma'am I will. Thank you."

After I exited the hospital, I walked to my car as I pulled out my cell phone. While I was sitting behind the wheel, I started at the time on the face of my phone, contemplating my next move.

_Oh God, it looks like I tried to slit my wrists or something. Great, now I look like a fucking Emo nut job. Hmm… maybe I should give myself a bit of a head start before I call Toby._

Once I was on the highway and a little bit closer to Kidder, I called my home number.

" _SO?"_

I was able to snap back into a jovial mood at hearing Toby's earnestly concerned voice. "And 'Hello' to you too Toby! You'll be happy to know that I'm on my way home right now."

" _Freaking finally! Oh… umm I think Bobby needs to talk to you about something. I'll see you soon!"_ As he handed the phone to Bobby I heard him whisper _"Here you go."_

"Bobby? Is everything okay?"

When he heard the mild panic in my voice, Bobby chuckled and quickly replied, _"Don't worry Koala Bear, nothing bad has happened. It's just that the boys have almost made it back to my place from California, so I should get home to meet them to find out what happened. But, I can wait until you get back here…"_

"Both of them?" I whispered in disbelief.

" _Yes, both of them. Dean is still Dean and he's with Sam,"_ Bobby clarified jovially

"Oh… no Bobby you go. I don't want you driving on the roads too late. Please, don't worry, I'm almost home, you do what you have to. Thank you so much, again, for getting out here so quickly to help us… again."

" _Addy, you know I'm always here to help. Now, after I'm gone, if you need me to come back, you just call and I'll be here in a heartbeat, understand?"_

"I do Bobby, but we should be fine from here on out. Dean and Sam need your help so much more than we do right now, so please don't worry about us. We'll be…"

" _Koala Bear, don't you start that. If you need me, you call… am I understood?"_

"Yes sir, understood loud and clear. Although, with Toby keeping watch over me, I don't think I have much of a choice. He'll call if I'm too stubborn to ask for help," I replied with a bit of a chuckle. "But, Bobby… umm can I ask you to do me a favor?"

" _Of course darlin'… you can ask me to do anything, so long as it's not running a marathon for you."_

"Bobby…" I chastised with good-humored annoyance before continuing more earnestly. "Bobby, could you hold off on telling Dean too many detail of… umm you know, what happened and all? When he gets the full story, I would really prefer to do it in person, you know?"

" _Of course, I understand. But just a heads up,"_ he continued in a hushed tone. _"Toby already told Dean about the kidnapping when he called to say they were on their way back. I think that Dean's somewhat keen on talking to you about what happened. Just remember, he's worried because he cares, just like we all are."_

I sniffled back a tear of happiness as I said, "I know Bobby, thanks. I figured that Toby would want to tell him some of what happened. I'll call him once I get back to the house. Bobby… I really don't know how else to thank you. We wouldn't be able to get through this without you. Thank you, thank you so much."

" _It's my pleasure Koala Bear. Now you take care and you take care of Toby here. I'll check in on you soon and remember…"_

"To call if we need anything. We will. Thanks Bobby. Give the guys my best and drive safe."


	15. With Fine and Delicate Lines

I somehow managed to make it home without breaking down again. By the time I got home, Bobby was long gone, but Toby was in the kitchen, eagerly awaiting my arrival in the kitchen. As soon as I was through the backdoor, he was ready to engulf me in a huge bear hug.

"Welcome home!" He exclaimed before taking my hand and trying to lead me toward the kitchen table. "Okay, you come here and take a seat while I get you your dinner."

"Thanks Tobs, but…" I replied while remaining firmly in my place by the door. "But, I'd really like to get cleaned up first. You know put on a clean change of clothes and all?"

"Oh… yeah…okay. But don't take too long. My guess is that that demon didn't feed you much, if anything, when he had you tied up, so we should get some food into you so that you can keep your strength up to heal."

I stared at him for a moment, completely stunned, with a sad smile on my face to which he responded, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah… yeah, I'm okay. You're just too perfect and wonderful for words Buddy. Thanks. I promise I'll be right down, okay?"

"Okay, I'll get it all ready while you're upstairs then."

Once I was in my room, I quickly put on a fresh change of clothes that were nearly identical to what I had previously been wearing the day before. The only exception tonight was that I matched my grey yoga pants with a maroon and teal long sleeve shirt because I was still feeling somewhat embarrassed by the bandages on my wrists. I hastily washed my face and hands then brushed the knots out of my hair to pull it into a loose bun. While I was standing at the sink, I glared at the clothes that I had discarded into a pile at the foot of my bed and I decided that no amount of laundering would be able to get them clean enough to ever wear again. Once I was done in the bathroom, I bundled them up and carried them with me into the kitchen. I bee-lined for the sink without saying a word and pulled out a garbage bag from the cupboard underneath it and shoved the clothes into the black plastic bag.

Toby watched me silently as I entered the room, roughly shoved the clothes in the bag and tied it shut before putting it by the back door so that it could be taken out to the garbage outside later. I then turned to sit down at the table and caught Toby watching me with a face of worried confusion.

I walked up to him, held him by the shoulders and kissed his forehead. "I just had to take care of that before I did anything else. I'm okay, really Tobs. So, tell me… what smells so unbelievably good?"

He continued to eye the garbage bag suspiciously without reacting to my question, so I squeezed his shoulders lightly in an attempt to have him turn his attention away from the back door to my face.

"Toby?"

"Hmm… oh hey! Yeah… umm I was heating up dinner for you, right? Okay, I'll go and dish it while you go sit at the table. It should be all ready by now."

As I sat at the table, I watched Toby lovingly put together a plate of ravioli and pesto sauce. He then placed it in front of me with an oversized wine glass of my favorite Cabernet Merlot before he found a place on the other side of the table to watch me.

"Did you eat your dinner already?" I asked as I started to dig into my meal greedily.

"Yeah… I did with Bobby. That's okay, isn't it?"

I washed my massive mouthful of pasta down with a gulp of wine from my glass so I could respond, "Toby, of course it's okay. I'm just glad you ate." I finished while shoveling in more pasta into my mouth.

As I continued to eat, Toby sat watching me and his grin grew wider and wider, until it was attempting to grow beyond being ear to ear.

"Whaf?" I questioned with my mouth more than half full.

Toby could no longer suppress his laughter and he started howling in his seat until it got to the point where he couldn't breathe with ease. I swallowed my food, took another drink and asked, "What's so funny there Toby?"

"It's just… you… you…" he tried to take a deep breath so that he could speak. "Ooh… you kind of remind me of Dean right now."

"Well…" I started to reply forcing some more ravioli down as I spoke. "I guess this is how he feels pretty much all the time." I ended with a shrug and pointed to the nearly empty dish in front of me praising, "Plus this… this is really good. You have a gift Toby."

"Thanks," he replied almost sheepishly while somewhat attempting to deflect my compliment.

"So, have you talked with your dad lately? Any news about your mom's condition? I know they were hoping to find a donor soon, so any news on that front?" I questioned while trying to take our attention off of me and Dean. Although I now had confirmation from Bobby that Dean hadn't said 'Yes' to Michael, I couldn't allow myself to believe it until I had seen Dean in the flesh or at least spoke to him myself over the phone.

"When you were missing, I called him hoping you were with them and he told me that she went in for surgery last night. She should be in recovery all day today, so it would probably be best for us to visit tomorrow… at the earliest," he replied while staring at his folded hands on the table.

I stopped mid-bite and grabbed his hand. _What? How had he kept that to himself this long?_

"Buddy! That's awesome! Why didn't you tell me sooner…? Wow! We should head over to the hospital first thing tomorrow! Oh my goodness… you know what that means Toby? Your mom… she might be coming home soon! Buddy that's… that's great! Our prayers have been answered!" I replied as excitement and relief washed over me.

During my gleeful exclamation Toby's gaze remained fixed on my hand that was on top of his on the table, so I shook them lightly and prodded further saying, "Buddy… isn't that good news?"

"Yeah… I guess it is good news. But… once she's out of the hospital… I guess I'll be going back to my old home until Dean can get back here… if he is able to get back… and I really don't want you to be left all by yourself right now," he responded while holding my hand in both of his while fighting back his tears.

"Oh Toby… please, please… don't worry about me. Once your mom is out of the hospital, you guys are just down the road from here. Plus, I still have my room at your place, right? So… I can still spend a few nights at your house here and there. I promise, I'll be okay and… and we won't have to spend all that much time apart," I offered as words of encouragement.

"Really? You swear? I can still help you with research and help you stop the Devil? You promise?" He pleaded almost desperately as tears welled up in his eyes.

As I watched his reaction, I remained dumbfounded by it. His mom was going to be alright and I couldn't figure out why he didn't think it was a good thing. I then placed my fork on the table, after devouring the meal in front of me, and squatted down beside Toby over on his side of the breakfast nook.

"Toby… is that what you're afraid of? That once your mother is better and she's settled back at home that I'll stop teaching you about hunting?"

He continued to stare at his hands that were now folded in his lap as he replied, "She's not my mom… well not my really real mom."

During his reply I placed my left hand over my mouth to keep my anguished and tear-filled reply in my mind. I then ran my left hand over his hair and held his face saying, "Yes… yes she is Buddy. We both know that Maureen loves you so much… Bill too. Come on Tobs, I thought that we've talked about this and that we got this part all figured out already. We did talk all about this, didn't we?"

I waited until he nodded in acknowledgement of my statement before continuing, "And Buddy, whether or not you're living with Connors or me or anyone else, I'll still teach you how to be safe and how to fight off anything that I know about. Now, Tobs, I've never kept you in the dark about the jobs that I do, right? So why would I start keeping you in the dark now?"

He finally turned his eyes away from his hands and looked at me as he asked, "Really? So… even once she comes home, I can still learn about being a hunter?"

"Buddy… of course you can. Your mom and dad have always said that you can be whatever you want to be no matter what."

He leaned in and hugged my neck as tightly as he could while quietly saying, "Really? I can… no joke?"

"Really," I reaffirmed while holding his cheeks in my hands and smiling. "Now… of course, I was hoping that you would take that encouragement and translate it into you following Tino's footsteps so that you could hook me up with some kick ass tickets to Yankees' games where ever I go, but you know, if you would rather follow you heart… I guess that I could support you in that too," I teased with a shrug as I stood up to walk away.

"Adddeeee…" Toby playfully whined with a huge grin on his face.

"Ooooh there! I made you smile!" I replied once I was standing. "I finally did it!"

"And here I've been trying to find a way to make you smile… I guess I totally failed at that," Toby countered in a sad, remorseful tone.

I sat back down at my side of the table, looked at him and with a cocked eyebrow replied, "I'm sorry but you don't call this a smile?" I finished by circling my face that had a goofy grin plastered on it.

He laughed softly. "Yeah I guess it is…"

I gave his an even more intense questioning glare while maintaining the same grin. "Okay… wait…yes, yes it is," he finally replied while starting to chuckle uncontrollably.

"Good… I'm glad you finally see that," I said before taking in another mouthful of ravioli. "But seriously Toby… you worry way too much for a boy your age." I finished with a tease that was still somewhat earnest as I finished my meal.

"Well… a lot has happened lately that has made me think that… well maybe I need to face reality and grow up so that I can help out more," he answered with a sad, somber tone.

I nearly choked on my last mouthful of pasta and had to take another drink of wine to force the pasta down so that I could even contemplate responding.

"Toby, please tell me you did not just say that…" I took in a breath trying to think of the best way to explain everything to him. "Now… Buddy, I'm more than grateful that you've picked up on researching and everything else that comes with the job so fast, but please, please don't say that you need to grow up any faster than you already have. I mean, you're already so much more grown up than most of the kids your age, okay? You still need to enjoy just having fun and remember to be a kid right now, alright?"

He looked up at me and seemed to be slightly wounded by what I said and he said, "Yeah… okay. If that's what you really want me to do, I can try harder to do that… to have fun."

I closed my eyes and chuckled sadly saying, "Tobs… the whole point in having fun and just being a kid is that it shouldn't take any effort. Now, being a grown up and juggling responsibilities, that… that's what takes effort. Believe me… you don't want to have that burden placed on your shoulders any sooner than it has to be," I continued somberly.

Toby listened then watched me intently as I carried my dishes over to the dishwasher and got myself a glass of water. Once I was settled again in my seat at the breakfast nook, he continued to stare at me with a sad frown clouding his facial features.

"Is… is that what you had to do? Did you have to grown up too fast?" He finally asked quietly.

I took a moment ask I drank my water to think about Toby's question before I replied. "Well… I never really thought of it in those terms, but yeah… yeah I kind of did Buddy. Sydney made it clear to me at an early age that hunting was not only the family business… it was the family mission and that I had to join his crusade to remain a part of the family… Toby… did I ever tell you that I almost tried out for the cheerleading squad?"

"What…? You? Cheerleading? NO WAY!" He replied without trying to hide or exaggerate his shock at my statement.

"Yep. I thought that boys would like me more if I was THAT girl. I didn't think that being one of the guys and knowing about cars and baseball was enough. Then one day my mum desperately needed my help on a job, so I missed the auditions and somehow I just fell in love with hunting. After that I spent every waking hour researching for hunts or going out on hunts… I don't think I went to any social functions at school until my senior year," I recounted lightheartedly.

"Really? So what changed? Why did you finally change your mind during your senior year?" Toby questioned further. He was completely enthralled with this new information about my childhood.

"Sydney met the Winchesters. John and Dean loved the job as much, if not more than Sydney did, so I got a slight reprieve while he did jobs with them. But Tobs… by my senior year, all I knew was the job. When my guidance counselor tried to talk to me about what I wanted to do with my life, what career I wanted to go into, I had no answer for her. By that time I was sucked into hunting and knew there was no other path for me to follow," I explained while holding his hand. "So… I want you to know that you don't HAVE to do this… you don't have to hunt. If you want to do or be something, anything else, you can. And Buddy… if you ever feel overwhelmed by anything that you see, hear or read all you have to do is tell me, okay? I never want you to feel pressured into doing anything that you don't want to do."

He smiled slightly and nodded saying, "Sure, okay… I understand what you're saying. But in all honesty, I don't think I've ever had more fun than the times I've spent helping you and everyone else to stop something nasty in its tracks. I have to admit that saving you was even more fun and exciting than hitting a home run. But… I must admit that baseball is a lot of fun too."

"Okay, so then we just have to remember to keep a balance with you… baseball and hunting," I offered before yawning loudly. "Deal?" I finished by putting my right hand out across the table so that we could shake on the agreement.

"Deal," he replied giving my hand a firm shake. "Hey! Did I tell you that there have even been talks that our playoff games could be played at the 'Field of Dreams' park?"

"Really? Now I'm even more jealous Buddy," I started excitedly before another yawn started to over take me. "I'm sorry Toby, but after this amazing dinner, I think that I'm more than ready for a shower and then bed," I apologized as I stood up beside the table.

"Oh, yeah, of course you are… I'll take care of the dishes so don't worry about that… but before you go to bed shouldn't you call…"

"Dean! Crap I almost forgot!" I said more to myself as I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and index finger. "Yeah I guess you're right Toby, I should call him." I admitted as I picked up my cell phone. I couldn't bring myself to dial his number right away, but instead stared at it, unsure how I would find the words for this particular conversation.

"Okay, while you're doing that, I'll get your last welcome home gift ready," Toby announced excitedly, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Pardon?" I finally asked after regaining my focus.

Toby smirked and replied, "It's a surprise… you'll see soon enough. Now call him!"

Toby held down the 'D' button on my cell and ran towards the stairs as the phone started ringing. I was silently hoping and praying that Dean wouldn't answer the phone and that I would have to leave him a message. If that were to happen, then I would be able to have a good night's rest before the inevitable awkward and uncomfortable conversation to come with the man that I loved so dearly.

" _Lay? Oh Thank God! I've been so worried about you? How are you? How bad is it?"_ Dean's obviously strained voice came through the speaker of my cell phone.

"Really? You're thanking God again?" I replied lightheartedly trying to further delay the impending conversation. "Well that's refreshing to hear."

" _Lay,"_ he answered firmly. _"You knew what I meant… Now in all seriousness, how are you doing? I mean for you to drive what… two counties to get to the ER… it's gotta be bad, right?"_ He questioned with genuine, worried concern.

"How… how'd you know?" I stammered quietly in a hushed, slightly astonished tone.

" _The timing was completely off. I had tried the local hospitals, but you weren't there. It took a while to find exactly where you were, but thankfully I remembered your old stand-by aliases. Your Poppy would have been proud that you still use them,"_ he concluded with a less severe tone.

"Thanks," I nearly whispered. I took a deep breath so that that I could take a moment to gather my thoughts. "Okay, so I really didn't want everyone in town to know about what happened… can you blame me? You know how small town Kidder is Dean…" I continued while trying to dissuade his concern. "But, I'm okay, really. The doc confirmed it and I even have the documentation to prove it. I could fax it over to Bobby's if you don't believe me," I teased lovingly.

" _Lay, I'm relieved to hear that you're okay, physically, but you don't have to make a joke about it all right now. If you need to talk to me about something, please don't hold back,"_ he asserted calmly.

"I promise Dean, I'm fine, really. Granted that's twenty four hours of my life that I never want to have to live through again, but the doctor confirmed that I was in good health, so I can deal, honest." I paused momentarily with the hopes that my words would sink in convincingly for both of us. I then took a deep breath and prepared for my final strike in this battle of wits. "Honest Dean… we both know that I'm not 100% but it'll just take time for me to heal. I'll be okay, I promise."

" _Okay, but don't forget that I'm just a phone call away anytime that you need to talk,"_ he reminded me once again.

By this point in the conversation, I had walked up the stairs and down the hall towards my bedroom. As I made my way to the room at the end of the hall, I failed to run into Toby and felt slightly deflated about the possibility that I had missed out on a gift from my closest friend.

As I opened the door to the master bedroom I replied, "I know Dean, but you and Sam have so much to deal with right now. I don't want you to have to worry about me too. You need to focus right now, so don't worry, I can… I will handle this, no worries."

" _Lay"_ , Dean started as he was about to mount his side of the argument once again.

Just as he did, Toby stepped out of the master bathroom and said, "Oh good you're up here already! Awesome! Are you ready for your surprise?"

I turned to face him while holding my cell phone to my ear and gave him a tentative smile as I nodded.

"Oh… crap, sorry. Is that him?" Toby whispered while pointing at the phone.

I nodded once again and Toby put his hand out and motioned for me to relinquish control of the phone to him. "You go and check it out… I want to talk to him about something."

I stepped into the bathroom while Dean continued talking about something, but I didn't hear a word that he was saying as I took in the scene before me. Toby had run a bubble bath and lit some candles with competing vanilla and strawberry scent while my iPod played Savage Garden's 'I Knew I Loved You' over portable speakers.

When Dean heard me gasp, his lecturing tone turned into one of panicked concern. _"Lay? Lay, what is it? What happened? Is everything okay?"_

"Toby…" I replied as I turned back towards my room where the young man stood and smiled with grateful tears in my eyes. "He's made sure to give me practically everything I needed tonight to feel comfortable and relaxed."

Toby looked shyly at his feet for a moment as Dean questioned, _"Really? What did he do?"_

Before I could explain everything to him, Toby once again put his hand out for me to give him the phone. When I didn't move, he stepped forward and claimed my phone.

"Hey Da… hey Dee… Hey!" Toby started. "Just give me one sec… you go and get ready for the bath and then you can have the phone back, alright? First, bandages off, that's what you taught me," he directed sternly in my directions before closing the bathroom door.

I stared at the closed door for some time in utter amazement before following my orders. I first found a pair of scissors and cut through the gauze to remove the bandages on my wrist that I had received earlier that night. I took a moment to examine them closer and sighed heavily knowing that their scars would forever serve as a reminder of the events that took place the day before. But I pushed that out of my mind for now and then combed out my long auburn locks and bundled them on the top of my head in order to keep them out of the soapy water. When I turned back to the door, I finally noticed a plush blue terry cloth robe that I had "permanently borrowed" from a fairly swank hotel I had patronized while on a job a few years back. As I stared at it, I removed my fresh change of clothes and slipped it on under the assumption that Toby had placed it in my bathroom for just such a reason.

I cracked open the door and poked my head through to let Toby know I was ready to take the phone back. Instead I stood and watched him for a moment. He was now seated on my bed while in the middle of a fairly animated recitation of some story. I straightened my stance and opened the door a bit wider in an attempt to better hear the conversation.

"… oh and the teams that make it to the finals get to play at the same field where they filmed 'Field of Dreams'. If you make it back here by then you should totally come! It's gonna be so much fun! Oh… I think I need to say goodbye now. Let us know if we can help you with any research because you know we make a really good team. Say 'hi' to Sam for me! Talk to you soon."

Toby smiled warmly then stood up and handed me my phone and wrapped me in a hug. "G'night. I'm think I'm going to turn in too. Now, you go straight to bed after your bath… you need your rest, you hear?" He directed.

"Thanks Buddy, I promise, I will," I replied throwing him a wink and giving him a final squeeze on the shoulder before he turned to leave.

After Toby offered me one final cocky smirk at my bedroom door while closing it, I turned back into the bathroom, closed its door and dropped my robe at the foot of the door.

I was still softly laughing when I put the cell phone back to my ear and I heard Dean asking, _"So what's going on now? What did I miss Lay?"_

I stepped into the Jacuzzi tub and started to make myself comfortable as I replied, "Toby obviously wanted me to relax in a nice… woo… hot bubble bath before bed. And apparently he thought that you would be able to help me with my relaxation, non Angel possessed Dean Winchester."

Dean chuckled softly. _"Yeah… about that Lay… I can explain…"_ He started somewhat on the defensive.

"Dean…" I interrupted while enveloped in the warmth and comfort of the water and bubbles. "Dean… can we get into that all later? Please? This… this is just so divine and I really don't want to ruin Toby's effort to help me relax."

" _Okay… sure. But Lay you have to know…"_ Dean attempted to say.

"Dean, I love you," I explained in an almost blissful tone. "So we WILL talk about everything, I promise. But just not tonight, let's do it later, okay?"

" _Later it is then,"_ He finally allowed himself to yawn. _"I love you too Lay. I'll talk to you two soon, okay?"_

"Mhmm," I replied absentmindedly. "Love you too."

Then I hit end call and dropped my phone on the bathmat before succumbing to the scented bubbles that surrounded my body.

**A thousand angels dance around you I am complete now that I found you…**

The music continued as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the edge of the tub.


	16. She Said "Don't Confuse Your Beauty with the Insolence of Youth"

_**I sat at the bar finishing my beer, still trying to get a feel for the other patrons as inconspicuously as possible when a husky voice softly questioned, "What's a beautiful woman like you doing in a place like this all alone?"** _

_**I turned on my stool to face the welcomed intruder and flashed him a warm, seductive smile. "Just waiting for a kind stranger to help quench my thirst and to… oh well… that… I can't ask that of you," I coyly cut myself off and cast my eyes down to my feet shyly.** _

_**My damsel in distress routine worked to absolute perfection and he quickly sat on the stool beside me while nodding to the bartender to bring us another round.** _

" _ **You can't ask what of me?" He questioned eagerly.**_

" _ **Well… I was hoping that I would find someone here that would help to keep me warm on this long, cold, lonely night," I explained as I ran my hand slowly up and down his thigh.**_

_**He choked slightly on his beer and when he stared at me with excited dismay. I took a drink of the new beer that the bartender had placed in front of me and smiled at him while batting my eyes. My new companion quickly whipped out his money clip and pulled out a couple of bills that would have probably covered our tab at least three times over and tossed it down on the dark wood of the bar.** _

" _ **I would love to be that man for you Beautiful," he replied before he attempted to finish his beer in one long swallow.**_

" _ **Really?" I questioned while faking a tone of surprise. "Well then… your place or mine?"**_

_**He moved in close then whispered into my ear, "I've got a room over at the Adobe Court Motel."** _

" _ **Meet you there in five minutes," I replied through a whisper while his face was still close to my own.**_

_**He swallowed hard and could barely contain his excitement when he suddenly remembered an important piece of information and then he blurted, "Oh… umm I'm in room seven."** _

" _ **Perfect… see you there soon Hot Stuff."**_

_**He stood up hastily and nearly tripped over every person's chair that lined the walkway between the bar and the exit. I chuckled with the Bartender as I calmly got up and picked up my jacket, nodding my 'Thank you' in the Barkeep's direction. Before I left, I instinctively surveyed the occupants of the bar once again. I didn't have any expectations that I would see any familiar faces, so I wasn't surprised when I failed to see any.** _

_**As I pulled into the parking lot of the motel, I checked the pocket of my jacket and placed the essential tool into the knife sheath that was attached to my right boot. As soon as I closed the door to my car, the door to Room 7 immediately flew open.** _

**Oh my God! He must have been watching for me to pull up! How cute?** _**I thought to myself as I suppressed my urge to laugh.** _

_**While I walked to the room, I took a longer look at the man that was waiting for me. In this light he appeared to only be a few years older than my twenty five years and fairly, dare I say it, innocent looking and fresh faced?** _

**Looks young… must be nice,** _**I thought with a snide tone.** _

_**I had barely made it through the door when the young man pulled me close to him and clumsily engulfed my mouth with his own. Had this been any other spur of the moment tryst, I would have found his gawky eagerness endearing, but tonight I couldn't allow it to impair my judgment and allowed it to annoy me to the point where my mind remained clear.** _

_**He slid my jacket off my shoulders and then I allowed him to lead me to his queen sized bed. He flopped down on top of me and placed a few wet, sloppy kisses on my neck. I shifted my body so that I could move closer to the headboard and place my head on his pillow.** _

" _ **Crap… sorry. Are you comfortable?" He asked sounding much younger than he had when he picked me up at the bar.**_

_**I pulled his lips to mine before responding, "I'm just fine now Baby."** _

_**We continued our heated make out session and he roughly undid the buttons on my stripped blouse. Once he finished struggling with the small buttons, he opened my shirt to expose my torso and he paused as he caressed my bra covered breasts adoringly.** _

" _ **I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," he said breathlessly as he began to nibble on my left earlobe.**_

_**I giggled at the compliment and then gasped when I felt his hand run up the inside of my thigh under the fabric of my skirt.** _

**Okay Addy… time to put the plan into action,** _**I mentally coached myself.** _

_**As he started to suckle on my neck, I faked another bout of shyness and pushed him back while saying, "Oh God… what am I doing? I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I just don't know… oh geez, I can't do this…"** _

_**He remained on his right side and slowly ran his left hand over my cheek to the back of my head. Once it reached its destination, he took a firm hold of my hair and moved his face closer to mine.** _

" _ **Sure you can," he finally replied in a fairly sinister tone.**_

_**I gave him my best look of terror as I reached down to my boot for my syringe filled with dead man's blood, but stopped when he failed to bear the second set of vampire teeth I had anticipated. Instead, he forcefully pulled my face to his in a very rough, somewhat painful kiss.** _

**Oh my God! He's human! Shit!** _**I thought with genuine panic.** _

_**I pushed him back again and protested in earnest, "No… please, please don't do this. Please?"** _

" _ **Oh yes, you know you want it," he countered.**_

_**As he started to lean in again, I raised my hands and placed them on each of his shoulders. Before he could figure out what I was doing, I reared my head back and jerked forward to land the hardest head-butt that I could from my current angle. While he was momentarily stunned, he released my hair and I rolled off the bed.** _

_**I regained my faculties while I was kneeling beside the bed and I heard him mutter, "Ow! What the fuck?"** _

_**I shook the cobwebs away by vigorously shaking my head before I started out of the room and scooped my jacket up off the floor. He was still writhing in pain on the bed and as I slipped out the door I overheard him shout in a tone of amazement to himself, "That fucking bitch broke my nose!"** _

_**I was still reveling in that feat as I fumbled to refasten the buttons on my blouse while trying not to drop my trench coat. Due to my lack of focus on the path that I was walking, I almost immediately ran square into the solid chest of another unknown male.** _

_**I had to step away and tilt my head back in order to look up at the man's face as I apologized quickly, "Shit! Sorry. I really should watch where I'm going."** _

" _ **Yeah… sorry, me too. Umm… are you okay?" He questioned sounding very concerned as he slowly lifted his hand to my forehead.**_

_**He lightly wiped some blood from above my right eye and I instantly followed suit to rub the same spot.** _

" _ **Oh… that… umm I don't think it's mine," I replied as I maneuvered around him. "But I'm good, really… thanks anyway for your concern," I called over my shoulder as I rushed to the safety of my GTO.**_

_**The giant stranger stood dumbfounded in his spot for a moment before continuing onto his own vehicle.** _

_**I watched him as I thought,** _ **Now why didn't I run into YOU at the bar?**

_**As I stared at the handsome stranger, I pulled out my phone and then swallowed hard as I caught a glimpse of the vehicle he finally arrived at in front of his room.** _

" **Yeah?"**

" _ **Hey Gordon. Just wanted to give you a heads up… you won't find them at the usual hunting grounds," I quickly explained as I checked my reflection in the rear view mirror. The blood definitely did belong to the injured Romeo I left behind, but I was now sporting a fairly sizeable goose egg just above my right eye.**_

" **Addy? How the hell did you know I was in town?"**

" _ **I saw your car parked outside of the bar as I was leaving. Seriously Gordo… when are you going to finally accept that I'm not just some dumb bimbo and give me a little credit for my wicked awesome skills?"**_

" **Sorry, but I already told you, I'm not easily won over."**

_**I shook my head and snickered. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well then you'll be happy to know that I have to leave town and…"** _

" **See? This… this is why you don't earn my respect… running off before the job is done."**

_**Even though he couldn't see me, I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Yeah, well I've still manage to take out just as many vamps as you by now."** _

_**We both paused, but Gordon Walker refused to ever offer me any compliments and since this time was no different, I continued as sweetly as I could, "And just to prove that there's no hard feelings Gordo, here's another heads up: the Winchesters are in town."** _

_**Before he could reply, I hung up and started laughing softly to myself. While Sam rifled through the trunk of the Impala, I sat and found myself staring at him again. As soon as I saw the black Chevrolet, I was lost in distant memories that I had thought were long forgotten. After he closed the trunk, he turned and caught me looking at him during my daydream.** _

_**Once he caught my eye, Sam waved tentatively and I could immediately feel my cheeks burn hot with embarrassment, but I tried to recover by smiling brightly and waving back. Soon after our friendly exchange, I saw the door to Room 4 opening and I snapped back to reality. I wanted to avoid the man that was most likely to exit the room at all costs, so I finally started my car and started out of the parking lot. I had just turned my GTO around and was reaching the adjoining street when I stupidly stole a glance of scene I was leaving as it played out in my rear view mirror.** _

_**Dean appeared to now be ordering Sam to do something or he might have been admonishing him for forgetting something before they both walked back into their room still having a fairly heated argument.** _

_**Just the mere sight of the older Winchester brother caused my heart to start racing excitedly and a few butterflies to flutter in my stomach.** _

" _ **Damn it Addy! Don't… don't even think about him. Just stop!" I reprimanded myself out loud as I drove away.**_

I woke up slowly and could feel that I was no longer alone on the bed. I rolled over onto my right side so that I could look at the opposite side of the bed. I had to struggle to make out his features, but I knew right away that Toby had crawled into bed with me and was now sound asleep. I felt my heart swell with love and adoration as I looked at him and my mouth contorted into an incredible grin.

I couldn't help myself from disturbing him by petting his face lightly and then kissing his left temple. I figured that since he hadn't awoken me that he figured I would need a protector during the night and joined me in my bed soon after I fell asleep. After my soft peck on his head, Toby's eyes slowly opened and he turned his head to smile at me.

"Hey… I popped my head in to make sure that you were sleeping and it sounded like you were having a bad dream. I tried to wake you, but I couldn't," he explained still half asleep with his eyes now closed.

"That's okay Buddy. I'm alright, but thanks for trying."

"Were you dreaming about that demon? Because… Bobby killed him you know, he won't be coming back," he continued through a large yawn.

"No Toby, the dream wasn't about Pacer. You don't have to worry, the dream wasn't about him… I'll be okay Buddy."

"Good… Pacer's dead…" he mumbled before succumbing to his body's overwhelming desire to fall back asleep.

I chuckled softly and snuggled in deeper under the covers while watching Toby sleep. When I was convinced that he was in a deep sleep, I held one of his hands, kissed the back of it and then held it close to my chest like a security blanket as I slowly drifted back to sleep.

_**When I pulled into town, it was still light out, so I decided to book myself into a hotel room before tracking down the bar that my latest target was most likely using for hunting grounds.** _

_**I usually chose a low-key place that looked like it charged by the hour because they didn't seem to care if the name on my credit card didn't match the name on my ID. Since money was never an issue, I decided that since I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in over I week that I would splurge and track down this city's version of a four-star hotel.** _

_**After checking in and ignoring a few quizzical stares from the staff, I finally fell onto the cloud that they called a bed in my room.** _

**_As I relaxed into the pillows and comforter I thought,_ Hmm… maybe I could sneak in a quick nap before heading out on the town. _Then I fumbled to find my cell phone so that I could set the alarm in the hopes that I would actually fall asleep._**

_**BREAK ME SHAKE ME HATE ME TAKE ME OVER WHEN THE…** _

" ** _Fuck you phone," I mumbled as I searched for my cell on the nightstand with my eyes still glued shut._**

**_Once it was found and the offending alarm was turned off, I rolled over onto my back and stared at the time thinking_ Okay, shower then it's show time Girly.**

**_When I checked in, I had asked the young clerk at the desk where the best night spot in town was, so I got ready and headed straight for that bar after my nap._ **

_**I did a quick sweep of everyone inside as soon as I first stepped through the door. I was looking for a guy that was drinking alone, but initially only found no groups smaller than two, so I sat at a booth and ordered a drink hoping to draw him out.** _

_**By the time I finished my third martini I had seen five blonds leaving with men of various ages and social statuses. It appeared that three of them arrived and left with the same man, so I ruled them out as potential suspects. I quickly made a mental note of the other two men's descriptions and decided to try a different tactic the next night.** _

_**I didn't usually wear a lot of costumes when I was working a case because I hadn't found much of a need to do so most of the time. A couple of form fitting, well tailored suits seemed to have worked quite well for playing the role of an officer of the law or a social worker on most cases. On the occasions when the social worker angle didn't work at a hospital, I did have on comfortable nurse's uniform that I could put to use.** _

_**For tonight I pulled out the prerequisite halter top and mini skirt combination. As I did my make-up, I starting thinking more and more about the scene I had watched play out the night before.** _

**Shit, I think I need to change up my hair too.**

**_I pulled out a blond wig that my mum had loved using to change up her appearance during a hunt. Her favorite joke was that if she was going out as a blond then she looked years younger and could pretend to be my sister. After her passing, I had held onto it for sentimental reasons, but then I had to admit to myself there was some logic behind her insane rationale. Then a couple of years later, I wore it into a salon so that I could update its style._ **

_**As I tucked in the last few strands of my auburn locks under my wig, I glared at the heels I had placed beside my bed.** _

**I guess you do complete the ensemble, _I thought begrudgingly as I slipped them on._**

**_I did a final check in the mirror that everything was in place and sighed to myself,_ Fuck… I feel like Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman'. This had better fucking work.**

**_As I approached the bar, much later in the night than I had anticipated, I heard a gunshot from the alleyway behind the building. There was a handsome young man holding the door open to the bar for me with a welcoming smile that didn't appear to be the slight bit phased by the sound of gunfire._ **

" _ **Can I buy you a drink?" He asked as I started to turn away.**_

_**I shook my head softly, "Maybe later. I think I forgot something Casanova."** _

_**I then turned and made my way through the crowd out front towards the sound of the two guns.** _

**Who the hell brings a gun to fight a vampire? _I thought to myself as I grasped the machete I had attached to the inside of my grey ankle length trench coat._**

**_I bowed my head as I quickened my pace. I then rounded a corner and a good looking guy in a black leather motorcycle jacket knocked me flat on my ass as he rushed past me._ **

" _ **Ow!" I seethed as I felt my leg being sliced on the blade of my machete. He continued down the alley faster than any human being could ever move without so much as a glance back in my direction.**_

" _ **Yeah, no I'm fine. Thanks for checking you douche bag vamp!" I cursed under my breath.**_

_**I knew that there was no chance of me catching up with him at this point in time, so I went back to my hotel to change into something more appropriate for tracking a vampire. I still found it weird that someone had been shooting at the thing, but that wasn't my top priority at this time. Deep down I was hoping that the idiot had nicked the vampire which would give me a blood trail to follow.** _

**_I quickly patched up my leg and threw on a pair of jeans and sneakers while at the hotel then left out the back door again. I was still sporting my halter top, trench coat and wig because if this thing was looking for a blond, then a 'blond' it was going to get._ **

_**When I got back to the club, it appeared to be closing time because everyone was spilling out and a few guys here or there were picking fights to prove their machismo. I retraced my steps the best that I could in the hopes to find blood, but I only found spent casings. There was a car riddled with holes that had foot prints up the hood and windshield.** _

**What the hell were they shooting at? _I silently questioned myself when I realized that the footprints were headed in the opposite direction of the fleeing vampire._**

**_I surveyed the alley way a little bit longer, but my search turned up nothing but the empty shells casings, so I decided to move on. There was one spot by a garbage can in an adjacent alley where I found a small amount of blood, but it wasn't nearly enough to indicate a vampire attack, so I continued my search elsewhere._ **

_**After what felt like hours, I turned up no clues of any importance on any of the streets around Club Spider and I felt beyond frustrated.** _

**Damn it! If I EVER find the idiot that shot at the vampire…I fucking swear… _I silently warned the person I felt was responsible for the vamp's disappearing act while I wandered down another seemingly empty street._ Damn… I'll…**

**CRASH!**

**_I turned swiftly around and saw what appeared to be a man stumbling down the street. Without giving it a second thought, I ran to his side and helped to straighten him up as he ran into everything in his wake._ **

" _ **Hey Buddy… did you have a rough night?" I questioned light-heartedly.**_

_**He turned to look at me saying, "You could say that. Yeah… Addy, is that you?"** _

**_I combed through my wig with my fingers. "Yeah…" I replied uncertainly until his face registered in my brain. "Gordon! Oh my God! Are you okay?" I asked without being able to hide my concern while I sat him on a stone retaining wall beside a set of stairs to an apartment building._ **

" _ **I'm fine, Addy… in fact, I'm better than fine," he replied with a chuckle.**_

" _ **Really? Because you look like hell," I countered while wiping some sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. "So did you catch a glimpse of the dumbasses that brought a gun to a knife fight?"**_

_**He stared at me dumbly, so I clarified, "Someone took a few shots at a vampire when we all know that's completely useless to decapitate them."** _

_**He snorted a couple of times before he laughed softly to himself.** _

" _ **Gordo?" I probed while standing straight up in front of him and shoving the handkerchief into my trench coat pocket.**_

" _ **The guns weren't meant for the vampire, Addy. You should know me better than that by now. No… what I'm hunting is much worse than any vampire you or I have ever exterminated."**_

" _ **It was you… really?" I asked beyond intrigued as I sat down beside him.**_

" _ **Yes," he affirmed as he stared straight in front of him.**_

_**I gave him a few moments to elaborate and when he didn't I said, "Okay… care to share with the class?"** _

_**He turned and looked at me with a smile on his face that was swiftly becoming a sneer. "Of course. In fact, you might even be able to help."** _

" _ **Really? Me?" I don't know why, but surprisingly I was somewhat giddy that Gordon Walker actually wanted my help on a job. "So… what are you hunting? And how can I help?"**_

" _ **Addy, I'm hunting the Anti-Christ and I think that you would be perfect for distracting his brother."**_

**_He turned his head so that the light hit his eyes just right so that I could see that they were completely bloodshot. I then figured that I was just listening to the ramblings of a drunken man, which made more sense than Gordon asking for my help, so I used an appeasing, yet condescending tone as I stood up saying, "Yeah… okay Gordon. Then after we take care of the Anti-Christ, maybe we can go and bump off Satan too."_ **

" _ **Addy… it's not like that," he defended. "The Anti-Christ is very real. All we have to do is kill Sam Winchester and we can save the world."**_

" _ **Sam?" I questioned with a snicker. "Right, let's get right on that. Look, Gordon… if you wanted to work this job without me, all you had to do was tell me. You really don't need to feed me this line of bullshit to get me to go."**_

" _ **But Addy, it's true," he asserted gripping my arm tightly. "All you have to do is keep Dean busy for a while. You know, by using your feminine wiles or whatever… then I'll take out Sam."**_

_**I turned and looked at his fingers digging deeply into my arm before looking up at his determined face.** _

" ** _Oh my God, you're serious," I commented completely astounded as he nodded. I gently removed his hand from my arm before continuing, "Okay… well, you know my specialties are vampires and spirits… and I'll take out the occasional werewolf or Wendigo, but I don't do demons. You know chanting and multiweapon hunts aren't my thing. Plus I don't do… I mean I don't cross paths with the Winchester brothers. So… I wish you the best of luck, but I'm out."_**

_**I started to walk away as Gordon continued to protest, "But… but Addy, you can help save the world."** _

_**He stood up and grabbed my shoulder strongly. In one swift motion, I unsheathed my machete and pivoted on the ball of my foot ending with its blade against Gordon's neck while I faced him.** _

" _ **Gordon… I won't tell you this again. You want to go up against the Winchesters? Fine, be my guest, but I'm leaving town… TONIGHT and you are going to be stopping me. GOT IT?"**_

_**He nodded slowly then said, "Fine, but be gone by sun up or…"** _

" _ **Do you really think it's wise to threaten me when I could slice your head off right now, Gordo? I'll be gone, don't you worry about that," I interrupted in a harsh tone.**_

_**Then, without getting his permission, I turned to leave. After walking a few paces, I looked over my shoulder to check that Gordon wasn't following me, but he was already gone.** _

_**I pulled out my cell phone and frantically searched for Dean's name as I scrolled through my contacts.** _

" _ **Please God, just one message… please?" I pleaded out loud softly as I hit the "Send Call" button.**_

**DO DO DO… THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALLED…**

**Fuck! Now what? Bobby! Try Bobby, _I thought mildly panicked as I was nearly running back to my hotel._**

" **Leave a message," _a male voice stated flatly._**

" _ **Bobby? I don't know if you remember me, but it's Addy Jones… umm Vicki's daughter… well, if you get this message, PLEASE call her cell. Please? Sam and Dean could be in danger and I really, REALLY need you to get a message to them. Please, PLEASE tell them to get out of town, NOW!"**_

**FUCK! Where are you Bobby? _I silently cursed as I ended my call._**

_**I quickly returned to my hotel and went straight to the front desk.** _

" _ **Hi… I need to check out please," I told the young man behind the desk in the Lobby.**_

" _ **Okay, but we have to charge you for the full night," he responded sounding completely uninterested.**_

" _ **Fine… whatever. Here's my card, you can charge me for all four nights if you have to… honestly I really don't care. But please, just make it quick."**_

" ** _Sure thing Jess… I mean Ms. Wade," he replied while the printer loudly prepared the paperwork. "Just sign here and here then this is your copy."_**

**_I scribbled some unintelligible markings dismissively saying, "Thanks."_ **

_**Then with that taken care of, I swiftly made my way to my room and left town as quickly as my GTO could take me.** _

_**As I drove down the street to the highway, my cell phone rang and when I saw that it was Bobby, I immediately pulled over and answered it.** _

" _ **Hey Bobby! Did you get my message? Did you warn the guys?"**_

" **I definitely did get it Addy… and how could you ever think that I could forget you?"**

" _ **Well… it's been a while Bobby," I attempted to defend my reasoning.**_

" **Koala Bear," _Bobby cautioned fondly._ "Now that that's cleared up… yes, I did try to warn them, but by the time I reached them Sam had already taken care of Gordon."**

" _ **Oh my God… it turned him, didn't it? Shit! I thought it might have… but… umm… they're okay, right? Both of them?"**_

" **Yes, they're both fine. I COULD give you Dean's number for future use if you would like," _Bobby offered with a slight teasing tone._**

" _ **What? Me… call Dean? No… no I couldn't do that," I replied almost too defensively to make my innocence sound sincere. "Besides, I sincerely doubt that he'd pick up a call or listen to a voicemail from me anyway," I replied with earnest sadness.**_

" **Addy…" _Bobby started with quiet concern._**

" ** _I'm sorry Bobby… I don't mean for you to be in the middle of all of this shit, but it's honestly the best way. I'm sorry," I apologized._ Damn it! This is why I avoid him!**

" _ **I'm sorry… I can't…" I finished with a hitch in my throat quietly one last time before I quickly hung up.**_

_**After Sam had hit 'End Call' from having his phone on speaker, he watched Dean for a few minutes as Dean stared out the windshield from his seat behind the wheel of the Impala. He started to ask a question at least four times, but stopped himself, not wanting to disturb Dean while he was deep in thought.** _

" _ **No way…" Dean finally mumbled at the windshield.**_

_**When Dean didn't continue the thought, Sam cautiously asked, "'No way' what, Dean?"** _

_**Dean turned to face Sam, but he looked beyond his younger brother to a scene outside of the car with a deep scowl etched on his face.** _

" _ **Dean?"**_

_**The older Winchester shook his head as if he was clearing his mind and finally made eye contact with his brother announcing, "No way Adelaide Jones calls Bobby to warn us about danger and tries to save me… our lives."** _

_**They both sat there silently for a moment and then Dean asserted, "Something MUST be wrong. We have to go check on Bobby… NOW!"** _

_**Before Sam could reply, Dean had peeled out of the shoulder and fishtailed on his way to check on Bobby.** _

This time, I woke up alone and I got up to shower in order get the day started. I was sincerely hoping that the good news we were receiving would continue for our family over the up coming months.


	17. Get Back to Your Age

 

 

 

"So basically you were stuck in 'Hotel California' with gods from different faiths from around the world and then Lucifer showed up and you somehow got away?" I asked in utter disbelief.

" _Yeah, I guess that's one way to describe it,"_ Dean answered once he had finished laughing.

"Okay… so what were you going to tell me about Gabriel? You were saying something about him and 'Casa Erotica'? Dean, are you pulling my leg?"

" _No… seriously he left me in charge of this DVD while he went after Lucifer and it turns out that it had a message for Sam and I that he wanted us to have in case anything happened to him. Lay, he gave us the key to stopping Lucifer,"_ Dean explained with more hope in his tone than I had heard in the last few months.

"Really! What is it? How can I help?" I asked with my tone now matching his level of excitement.

" _It's the rings that the Horsemen wear…"_

"Adelaide! Dinner's ready! Time to come in and eat!" Maureen called from the back door of the Connor residence.

"Okay Mo, I'll be right in!" I yelled back as a response while holding my cell phone to my shoulder to keep from injuring Dean's eardrums. As I turned my attention back to my phone, I kicked a rock on the ground beside my GTO in mild frustration as I explained, "Sorry Dean, Mo's kind of in über-mom mode since she's gotten home from the hospital. If I don't head in now, I'm kind of scared that she might ground me or something. So, quickly… did you say that it's the Horsemen's rings that you're after?"

Dean was laughing too hard to reply and when I heard another "Adelaide!" coming from the back door, I pleaded with more urgency in my tone, "Dean, she's going to be really pissed… come on, just quickly tell me what you need next."

" _Sorry Lay,"_ he apologized through his laughing fit. _"But you being afraid of Mo is just too cute… it's like you're seventeen again or something."_

"DEAN!" I interrupted with more desperation in my voice.

" _Okay… sorry,"_ he said in a more somber tone. _"Yeah… it's the rings. The rings literally are the key to Lucifer's cage."_

"Alright, so Pestilence and Death… gotta find where they are… okay, good. Love you! Bye!"

I hastily hung up the phone without waiting for Dean's reply and sprinted to the back stairs. After skipping the first two steps, I nearly fell as I rushed through the door. Toby and Bill had to cover their mouths to stifle their laughter from their seats at the table. Maureen was standing beside the kitchen table dishing out Sheppard's Pie on each of our plates and looked unimpressed by my clumsy entrance.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologized feeling guilty for disobeying her wishes as I rushed towards my spot on the bench of the kitchen table beside Toby.

"Young lady, I hope that you are going to wash up first," Maureen scolded me in the same tone that she had used with her own son when he had committed the same malfeasance.

"Oh, yes ma'am… of course I was going to," I lied repentantly as I diverted my course from the table to the kitchen sink to wash my hands in accordance with Maureen's orders.

"So, who were you talking to that was more important than being on time for dinner with your family?" Maureen questioned still sounding less than impressed.

"Dean," I replied over my shoulder before turning to face the three of them while drying my hands on a tea towel. "He and Sam had a run in with Lucifer and some other gods. Lucifer killed Gabriel, but Gabriel was able to get a message to both of them that they can open Lucifer's cage if they collect the Four Horsemen's rings," I explained with the same nonchalant tone that I would use to describe a regular season baseball game between two small market teams.

"Oh," she replied slightly stunned.

"So… I was trying to find out from Dean how I… I mean, we could help. I sincerely apologize that it made me late for dinner. I honestly meant no disrespect Maureen," I continued while offering her my best wounded puppy look.

"Alright, you're forgiven," she replied with a less severe tone. "But," she continued more authoritatively with a playful glint in her eye. "Don't think that helping to stop the Apocalypse will get you off the hook every time young lady."

"Yes ma'am," I answered with an impish smile.

"So Dean and Sam are going to be needing help with research?" Toby inquired excitedly.

I looked over at him and gave him a warm understanding smile. Our time together researching had become less and less frequent since Maureen had gotten out of the hospital because we had been our attention on helping her to get settled at home so that she could recuperate after her surgery. Her swift recovery helped us to maintain our inward focus on our domestic bliss because she had reclaimed her post as head of the house to get us back to our old routine. Plus, Dean's calls home had become more infrequent which allowed us to somewhat forget about the war between Heaven and Hell.

"Yeah looks like they will Buddy. They've already chopped off War and Famine's ring fingers to get their rings, so now we just have to track down Pestilence and Death," I replied.

"Adelaide, I'm not sure that that's appropriate dinner time conversation," Maureen cautioned. "You and Tobias can continue that discussion after he has finished his homework later tonight."

"Yes ma'am," Toby begrudgingly mumbled towards his dinner while he shifted his food around his plate with his fork.

Bill had nearly finished his meal while the rest of us had been talking and Maureen continued to savor each bite slowly. Toby and I stabbed at the layers of the shepherd's pie while preoccupied with our own thoughts about what Dean had told me.

After Bill ate his last mouthful, he stood up and kissed Maureen's head saying, "I need to call Tom Wilson about that proposal before it gets too late. Thank you for the wonderful dinner Maureen."

"You are more than welcome darling. Just leave your plate on the table, I'll take care of it for you," she replied warmly. "Good luck."

I immediately refocused my attention from my plate to Maureen when I heard her wish Bill 'Good luck' and asked in a hushed tone, "Proposal? What's going on with Tom Wilson?"

Maureen looked me in the eye and softly replied, "We didn't want you to worry Adelaide. But since Bill spent so much time at the hospital with me, he neglected the fields, so now we just have to find some… creative solutions."

She finished by focusing her attention on Toby as a silent warning that now was not the time or place to discuss this topic in further detail.

"Oh… okay," I answered while heeding her silent warning.

_Bill and Maureen are having financial troubles? Of course they are Addy! The woman's been in the hospital for months and it's not like that private room is free or anything._ I thought to myself as I continued to play with my food. _Why didn't Bill tell me? I could help… but then again I guess he didn't…_

"May I be excused from the table? I have a lot of homework I need to get done," Toby's polite request broke through my thoughts.

"Of course you may Tobias. You can leave your plate here too, I don't mind cleaning everything up," Maureen replied.

I watched Toby attentively as he exited the room and as soon as he was out of sight, I turned back towards his mother and quietly asked, "Maureen, are you and Bill in financial trouble? Because if you are, I'd be more than happy to help to alleviate the pressure."

Maureen lifted her gaze from her now empty plate to reply with a soft, sad smile on her face. "Adelaide you've done too much for us already, we can't ask this of you too. And in any case, we still owe you for all of the money that you spent on Tobias over the months that he spent living with you."

"Maureen, no you don't… I've already told Bill that you don't owe me anything for that because that's what family's for," I countered as I got up to follow her to the sink with my dishes. "Seriously, if I can help to ease some of the pressure then please, please let me know."

"Adelaide," she started with a regretful somber tone. "I can't ask that of you."

"You're not asking, I'm offering," I stated with loving firmness. "So… what kind of proposal is Bill talking to Tom about?" I inquired as Maureen and I fell into our routine of her washing the dishes while I dried them.

"Well, Tom has offered Bill a job at his company as a consultant. You know how Bill has helped so many people to properly design new buildings to maximize efficiency and all… well Tom is hoping that Bill can translate that into a position at his company," Maureen explained.

"Really? That's awesome Maureen."

"Bill is also hoping that Tom will let him work from home, which would be quite advantageous for us. He's hoping that he can still keep the farm running somewhat."

"Does he really think that he'll be able to manage…" I started to ask as I put the last few plates away in the cupboard.

"I have to drive into town to meet with Tom. I don't know how late I'll be, so don't wait up for me," Bill explained before kissing Maureen on the forehead.

"Okay. Drive safe," Maureen replied.

I had taken the opportunity Bill's entrance afforded to run up to my room so that I could grab my check book before rushing out to catch up with him. Maureen was now settling in the living room with her knitting while watching the news as she had every night since returning home. I believe that she shouted a warning about running in the house as I sprinted through the living room to the backdoor, but I pretended not to hear her words of caution.

I exited the house just as Bill was unlocking the door to his truck so I had to yell out his name to get his attention.

"Bill! Bill… here… since you'll be in town, you might as well take this with you too," I said through my pants as I tried to catch my breath and handed him an envelope.

He responded with a look of confusion, and then Bill took the envelope out of my hands. As he opened it, his eyes grew wide before he stared at me in utter disbelief.

"Addy… no I can't… it's… it's too much," he finally managed to stutter quietly.

"Yes, you can and no it's not. I don't want you guys to be stressed out about that because you already have so much to worry about," I replied as I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Plus… if Sam and Dean can't stop Lucifer, then the world's going to end anyways, so what's the point in the money sitting in my account?" I joked with a shrug.

"Addy," Bill started with a soft exasperated sigh before pulling me into a hug. "Thank you… but we WILL be paying you back."

"If you feel you must, then we can talk terms later. Now go… you don't want to be late for your meeting," I gently ordered as he held me in a loving embrace. "Good luck… not that you need it."

I stayed outside for a while, staring at the stars while sitting on the swing in the Connor's front yard. I thought back to the last time I found myself in this same spot and pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Dean's number once again.

" _So… your punishment couldn't have been that bad. I mean, Mo didn't confiscate your phone or anything,"_ Dean greeted me with an overly amused tone.

"Shut up Dean!" I retorted with a surprised shriek. "You're just lucky that you're dealing with the Apocalypse or I think that she might have locked me in my room like Cinderella or something. She is in serious over protective mom mode right and has been trying to make sure that we get back to the Connor family routine as soon as possible," I explained sounding somewhat overwhelmed and slightly concerned.

" _And you're loving every minute of it,"_ Dean observed warmly.

"Yeah… I guess I am," I admitted gently. "I guess this is what it's like to be a part of a normal family. No demons, no devil to worry about… just an overprotective mom worried that you'll be late for dinner. Our biggest concern tonight… are you ready for it? Me not washing up before sitting down to dinner."

" _It sounds like things are going really well over there for you guys. I mean, you sound really happy, Lay. I'm glad that you've found that, I really am. No one deserves to have a warm loving family more than you,"_ Dean said sounding like he was trying to distance himself to say a farewell.

"Yeah things are pretty good here. Maureen's doing so much better, Bill's finally sleeping at night and Toby… well he's Toby. But, you know what would make it even better?"

" _No… what?"_

"If you were here with us too, so don't even try to start with the whole, 'I'll stop the Apocalypse with Sam and you just forget about me to live a normal life' crap Dean…"

" _No, but Lay I wasn't. I swear,"_ he interrupted in his defense.

"Okay… good… fine, maybe you weren't but in any case, you know that we're here to help, right? Anything you need, just say the word."

" _Of course I know that. Actually, I was glad you called because Bobby found something down in Nevada and we were wondering if you could check with Toby to see if he's seen anything out that way. You know, unless that would put you two on lockdown or something,"_ Dean concluded humorously.

"Ha ha ha… you are just too funny Winchester," I replied in a begrudgingly amused tone. "Toby's in his room right now finishing his homework, but I'll check with him once he's done. Well if it's not too late… you know it being a school night and all."

" _Couldn't you ask Mo to make an exception? For me?"_ Dean asked sweetly.

"Dean it's her house, so it's her rules. I don't want to step on any toes because Toby's already tried to play the 'she's not my real mom' card with me and I really don't want him to try it with her… if he did it would just crush her. But I promise, as soon as I know anything, you'll know, okay? I'm really sorry Dean, but I just can't go against… I'm sorry," I continued with genuine sadness in my voice.

" _It's okay Lay, it's okay. And you're right; we need to respect Mo's wishes. I shouldn't have pushed like that,"_ Dean recanted earnestly. _"But how are things on that front? I thought that Toby was cool with the whole being adopted situation."_

"No… I mean yeah, he's done a complete 180 since you last saw him. The two of us have talked it out a lot, but now that he's back home, he's sort of testing his boundaries. I guess the rules at my house were a bit more lenient," I explained while twisting on the tire swing. "I guess I'm not used to being the disciplinarian. Hell… even when I did ground him, I let him stay up late to help me with research for the file I was helping Dah… well I let him help me with research. Some parental figure I am."

" _Hey now, don't say that. Just because he has you wrapped around his little finger doesn't mean that you're going to be a bad mom in the future,"_ Dean offered as words of comfort. _"When it's time, I'm sure that you have the whole disciplinarian thing down."_

"When it's time?" I teased. "Really now?"

" _Well… wait… I meant…umm…"_ Dean stammered trying to recover from my friendly teasing.

"Whoa, it's okay Dean, I know what you meant. Thanks, I appreciate your faith in me," I offered in an effort to soothe him. "But I should head in before it gets too late, especially if I'm going to enlist Toby's help tonight. Then tomorrow I'll look into it a bit more to see if we can find anything else."

" _Thanks Lay… but don't forget that you need to get some rest too."_

"Promise, I won't forget. Talk to you soon."

After I slipped my phone back into my pocket, I stayed outside staring at the stars. On a peaceful night like this when the sky was so clear that you could see practically every star that God created, it seemed unfathomable that someone was trying to destroy everything around us… albeit that "someone" was the Devil, which just added to the ridiculousness of it all. Then I couldn't help but chuckle that at this moment in time we were hunting Death… THE Death. My whole life I had been trained in different ways to escape death that I almost had to pinch myself to make sure that this all wasn't just a dream.

"Addy? I'm done all of my homework and mom said that I could have an hour extension for my bedtime… but only if you needed my help with research," Toby's voice came from behind me as he approached the tree where the tire swing hung in the yard.

I slowly twisted the rope around while I was still sitting on the swing so that I could face him. Once we were somewhat face to face I replied, "Actually… I was just talking to Dean and he was wondering if you had seen anything happening in the Southwest. Like down in…"

"Nevada?" He interrupted with mild excitement, attempting not to be too eager or rude.

"I take it that you have then," I confirmed mildly amused. "Well… why don't we head in and conference call Bobby while we look over your research?" I continued as I awkwardly tried to climb out of the tire.

Toby laughed softly at my clumsiness then walked over to give me a hand out of the swing.

"Really?" He excitedly clarified. Once I was free, he wrapped me in a hug and I heard him sniffle as if he was holding back tears.

"Hey… what's wrong Toby?" I questioned as I rubbed his back.

"It's just that… you promised that I would be helping you with research to help Sam and Dean, but since mom's been out of the hospital you've barely even asked me to help at all."

"Oh Toby, I'm sorry," I replied still holding him tightly. "I haven't been asking you with help with research because I haven't really been doing much lately. Actually… I haven't done any research since your mom was discharged. I've pretty much just been focusing on helping her get back into good health and settle here at home. I'm so sorry Buddy, I really hope you don't think that I've been leaving you out and keeping you in the dark."

He held my hand tightly as we walked up the front steps into the house and he finally calmly asked, "Really? So, I haven't been missing out?"

Before we went through the front door, I held both of his hands and held him in a resolute stare as I explained, "Buddy, I wouldn't have made it this far without you. Always remember that, you guys help to keep me strong. Plus, just like you told Dean weeks ago, you're my research buddy and we make a great team… that is unless you were thinking about breaking up…"

"NO! No… I don't. I was just worried that you might," he admitted as he pulled me into a hug. "Okay… thanks for that… guess we should go call Bobby and see how we can help."

He rushed into the house and went straight into the den. I followed him slowly, which allowed Maureen to catch me as she took a break from her knitting.

"So, my guess would be that Dean or Bobby had a lead for you two?" She questioned as she attached a new color to her afghan.

"Yeah, Dean was telling me that Bobby found something out West and they were hoping that Toby might have some more information about it," I answered almost sounding timid.

"He'll be so excited to help," she commented serenely. "Just remember not to keep him up too late… he has school tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am, no more than an hour," I guaranteed the protective mother.

By the time that I finally made it to the den, Toby was already talking with Bobby enthusiastically about some of the information that Toby had found. I stood in the doorway silently watching him as he rapidly continued his explanation.

" _Okay, Toby… son… you need to slow down. What was that last part again?"_ I heard Bobby's overwhelmed voice questioning.

I was convinced that I wouldn't be of much assistance to either Bobby or Toby, so I turned around to leave them to their work and made my way back to the living room with Maureen. I sat down on the couch close to the recliner Maureen occupied and got comfortable.

"So Tobias had some of the information that Bobby was looking for?" She inquired while remaining focused on her handiwork.

"It sounds like, but I didn't want to interrupt so I don't really know exactly what they're discussing at the moment. I'll call Bobby tomorrow and get the full details after he's had a rest… poor guy, Toby's so excited he's going faster than Bobby can process the information. But you know me Mo," I commented as I picked up her afghan to take a closer look at it. "I've never been one to want to tangle with demons and all that…"

"That' very true… and speaking of, sweetheart," she started as she placed her knitting needles in her lap and turned her face towards me. "I hear that some things happened while I was in the hospital… is there anything that you need to talk to be about Adelaide?"

I cringed ever so slightly at the thought of Pacer and how he had called me "Adelaide" so many times. I had never been able to break Maureen of the habit because she insisted that when a person was given a name that it as disrespectful not to use it. Hearing it used after the incident was even harder than before, but I knew that I would forever spare her those details and would tolerate her using my given name.

"No," I whispered before looking up at her warm, compassionate and loving eyes. "I'm okay Maureen… of course I'm not 100%, but I don't want you to worry. You need to focus your energy on your own healing and not be worried…"

"As do you sweetheart," she interrupted. "And I'm here to help you while you do heal, so don't hesitate to let me know if you need to talk"

"Thanks… I will… but everything that happened, well it's not really something that I want you to have to visualize at all. It sucked and it was horrible, but it's over. Bobby killed Pacer and now that demon will never be able to hurt anyone ever again," I stated trying to convince her that I had put it behind me, when in reality I still woke up from nightmares convinced that I still shackled to the Sheriff's bed.

Maureen sat up in her chair and held one of my hands then placed a soft kiss on the back of it. "You have so much of your mother's strength in you, Adelaide. I wish she could have seen what an amazing woman that you've grown up to be."

I stared at her for a moment completely taken aback by her unexpected comment and then I pulled her into a warm hug. "Do you really think that she would be proud of me?" I asked as tears sprang up into my eyes.

"Of course she would… Oh Adelaide," she continued affectionately while holding my cheeks. "She would be beyond proud of you because you have done so much to help so many people… including the three of us."

"Thank you… thank you so much Mo," I replied hold her tight again. "Thank you."

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry," she consoled me while stroking my hair lovingly with my head now pressed against her shoulder. "I guess I've forgotten to tell you that over the years, but I'm sure that Victoria would be so honored to be called your mother."

As she continued to hold me to comfort me, Toby had finished talking with Bobby and quietly entered the room unbeknownst to us.

"Umm… so Bobby is going to pass on that information to Dean and Sam, so I think I'm going to head to bed now…" Toby explained tentatively.

I sat up and started wiping my tears on my sleeves, trying to shield him from seeing me in such a disheveled state. Maureen sat back and motioned for Toby to approach her at her spot on the recliner. Once he did, she kissed his cheek and said, "That's wonderful to hear darling, I'm sure he was happy to have your help. Have a good sleep honey."

"I will, thank you," he replied giving her a hug and kissing her cheek.

He then moved around his mother to give me a warm hug. "Don't worry, Bobby said that the guys are close to finding the next two rings. Everything is going to be okay."

I held him close and chuckled softly. "Thanks Buddy. You've done some really great work. Sweet dreams Toby."

"I will if you will," he countered humorously before heading to his room. Once he was at the stairs he called over his shoulder, "Good night mom."


	18. Get Back to the Craft

During my time spent at the Connor residence, the four of us fell into our usual routine of normal family business. Bill had effortlessly eased into his new job at 'Wilson Construction' and woke up every morning excited to get to work with a vigor that I personally had never seen in the past.

Maureen had of course once again become the stereotypical, All-American mom who made sure that Bill and Toby got off to work and school okay, then she and I would go about completing the household chores, while Toby and I played our roles of the Connor children. When he was off at school, I had to constantly remind Maureen to take it easy to keep from damaging her stitches, so I made sure to do as many of the labor intensive chores as possible.

"Tobias, do you have all of your homework, son? I believe that Adelaide is waiting outside to drive you to school once you're ready to leave," Maureen explained as she cleaned the dishes from our morning breakfast.

"Yeah I've got everything, but that's okay… I think I'll be able to catch the bus just fine. Thanks though. I'll see you when I get home from school," he replied as he went out the door to jog down to the end of the driveway where the school bus would meet him.

I was at my car, cleaning out the back seat while I waited for Toby. It kind of amazed me that Phantom still required weekly cleanings even though I hadn't been on a hunt since the last time I visited Bobby at home. When I heard him come down the back stairs I tried to catch his eye as he turned towards the front yard.

"Toby!" I called out. "Buddy, I'm right here!"

He turned around and we walked towards each other to meet half way. Toby smiled brightly then said, "Hey, sorry I didn't see you there. But I think that I'm ready to start trying to take the bus to school again. I know you have a lot of work to do around here and you said you wanted to do more research and all so you don't need to worry about me."

"Really Buddy, but you haven't… you know since…" I started.

Toby threw his arms around me and laughed lightly, "I'm good, really… you can relax. I'll see you after school."

"Oh… okay, I guess I'll see you when you get home then Buddy," I replied as I ruffled his hair and headed towards the back stairs.

I got back to the house and found Maureen busying herself in the kitchen. She had been talking about wanting to do some canning over the upcoming weeks and by the time I got into the house the island was covered in books and boxes as she was pulling out and finding her recipes. My closing the door as I entered caused her to look up and smile warmly.

"So… Toby's taking the bus to school… umm is there anything I can do to help with the canning?" I asked cheerfully.

"Oh, well since you offered, would you mind terribly going down to the cellar to get my canning pot and the mason jars? Oh… and the lids too?"

"Sure… yeah I'd be more than happy to do that Maureen. I'll be right back up to help out with the rest."

Once I had lugged a few dozen mason jars from the cellar with the aforementioned canning pot, Maureen immediately put me to work cleaning the vegetables. My next task of the day was to peel the cloves of garlic needed for each jar while she started the pickling brine.

"Do you have enough dill from the garden? Because I would be more than happy to run out and get more," I offered as I could feel the oil from the garlic seeping through my skin. _Nothing sexier than a girl that reeks of garlic,_ I thought to myself slightly amused.

"We should be fine, but thank you for offering Adelaide. If I need more I'll get to you go out for it," she replied. "I think that's also enough garlic too darling, why don't you get to work on the cucumbers over there while I sterilize the jars?" She finished by nodding in the direction of three very large boxes that Bill had piled beside the back door that I had failed to notice before now.

"Yeah, sure no worries," I said as I pouted inwardly before lugging the first box to the kitchen table to start scrubbing the pickle sized cucumbers with a soft nylon brush. "So Bill seems to be really enjoying his new job," I commented hoping to keep our dialogue as lighthearted as possible while we worked.

"That's true, he is enjoying it every much. It's actually almost comical how little many of the farmers know about architecture and design," she commented sounding sad and happy all at once.

"Oh… well thank goodness that he's around to help them out then. I can say from experience that Steve Henderson's barn was definitely very well made."

Maureen half turned from her post at the stove to look over at me and shook her head knowing that I was once again trying to use humor to deflect from getting too emotional or personal about an uncomfortable subject. If I had of diverted my attention from my work I would have seen that she wanted to call me on my evasiveness, but instead she changed the subject.

"How are you doing with the cucumbers sweetheart?" She questioned as she placed the last few mason jars onto the island.

"I think I have enough done to get a few jars filled. Here let me carry them over for you."

We then carried on with the fairly normal routine of her pickling the cucumbers the same way that her grandmother and mother had done while I assisted her by continuing to clean the vegetables in the same way that she had as a granddaughter and daughter. As we worked we appeared to have exhausted most of the usual topics of conversation that centered on family and the town, Maureen still avoided talking about the Apocalypse, and the conversation soon became quite sporadic. The pauses then became longer and more pronounced, so Maureen opted to put on some music in order to ease any tensions that could be created. Thankfully she chose the CD player instead of the radio because she had always made sure to keep it filled with different Elvis CDs to make sure that we would have more than enough great music to fill the silence.

**If I can dream of a better land Where all my brothers walk hand in hand Tell me why oh why oh why Won't that dream come true?**

As I sang along, whole-heartedly, with my eyes squeezed shut, scrubbing the mini cucumbers, I heard Maureen chuckling in spite of herself.

"I forgot how much you enjoy the King's voice, Adelaide," she observed warmly as she labeled a few bottles that were cooling on the counter after being in the canner.

"Oh shoot… sorry Maureen," I quietly apologized, feeling slightly embarrassed by my musical outburst. "But there's just something about his voice that just… I don't know, speaks to me. Plus, you know how much Poppy loved him," I explained as I carried over another tub full of cleaned cucumbers to her. "Hell… sorry, I mean heck, I still use Elvis' character's names as aliases because of Poppy."

"I know darling, I know," she acknowledged with a kind smile.

We continued working in relative silence while listening to Elvis' voice going through the decades of his music. Once we got to the CDs with his later work, I had fallen into a rhythm with my work once again so much that I felt like I was in my own world.

"Tomorrow will be too late. It's now or never," I sang out loud softly while staring at the green vegetable in my hand.

I guess I was sitting there singing to cucumber for longer than what would probably be considered "normal" because I soon heard Maureen calling out, "Adelaide? Adelaide? Sweetheart, are you okay?"

I turned my eyes in the direction of the voice that was calling my name and then after a few moments I focused on Maureen's face to say, "I'm sorry Maureen… I… I can't… I shouldn't be doing this. They… Sam and Dean… I should help… I have to go…"

I dropped everything that I was doing at my place at the kitchen table then got up from my spot and dried my hands on a tea towel I got off the island. Maureen watched me tentatively as I rushed about the room to dry my hands and leave through the kitchen door, unsure what I meant to do next.

"Adelaide!" She called out, stopping me in my tracks with her concerned tone. "Adelaide! Does that mean that you're going to be leaving us?"

I stopped and swallowed a tearful lump. "I'm sorry Maureen," I announced over my shoulder. "But I have to… this… this isn't me. As much as I tried, this isn't MY life. They've needed me and I ignored it, so I have to go… I do. I'm sorry, I really am."

"Finally," she sighed as she approached the doorway to give me a hug. "I'm so glad that you finally realized that sweetheart." She stepped back and held my face as she continued, "We all knew that's where you were needed, but I wanted you to see it for yourself and didn't want to force it."

I was so relieved to hear that from her that I pulled her into a hug so that I was holding her so closely that it felt as if we could fuse into becoming one person.

"Thank you Mo… thank you for everything. I know that this is completely out of my comfort zone, but the guys need my help. Please tell Toby how much I love him and that my leaving has nothing to do with him and that I'll call him later to try to explain everything."

"Of course Adelaide and I'll make sure that he keeps an eye out for any signs that might help you all out," she replied as an effort to dissuade my worry.

I immediately rushed up to my room and hastily packed my duffle bag so that I could make my way home and repack some essentials for my next hunts. Maureen and I shared more than one loving embrace before I sped off towards my family home. Once I arrived there, I repacked my duffle bag with some comfortable workout clothes for the hours of research I knew that I would be helping Bobby complete. Then I chose my favorite prerequisite Agent/Social Worker outfit, just in case it would be needed along with my usual hunting attire.

As I drove to Bobby's house, I decided to try to call Toby so that I could explain everything to him the best I could at this point in time. "Hey Buddy… umm by the time you get this, I should be at Bobby's place already. I told your mom that I had to go and I really do need to help the guys out. Please don't be upset with her for letting me leave Buddy, but this is something that I just have to do. We'll still need your help with research, so I'll be calling you loads and loads. I love you Toby and once I know more, I promise I'll call you right away."

I took my time getting to Bobby's and by the time I finally arrived it was quite late at night. Almost as soon as I reached the top of his stairs en route to the front door, I realized that I was completely alone on his property.

 _Crap! I thought Bobby would be here. Ugh… why didn't I think to call ahead! Stupid Addy!_ I scolded myself as I sat on the top step staring out into the darkness of the night.

After a while, I got up and ran my hand over the top of the door jam in an attempt to find one of Bobby's spare keys. As I neared the opposite end, I came up with nothing but a lot of dirt and a splinter in my right middle finger.

"Fuck! Ow!" I quietly cursed as I worked the sliver of wood out of my finger. "Okay, no key there… obviously. Where else does Bobby hide his key?"

I checked all of the usual spots where other people would hide a house key, but I found nothing but more dirt under the doormat and on the window ledges. To my surprise I found a switchblade in an empty planter on the balcony, but still there was no key.

I then stared at the door and thought, _I wonder how pissed Bobby would be if I just kicked his door in?_ And as I was staring at the ground, pacing, I cussed at myself because of my stupidity. _Or you could actually use your brain and pick the lock you dumbass._

While I was still shaking my head in disbelief, I rooted through my trunk to find my mini tool kit that I had used in the past to pick locks. My skills had grown quite rusty during my sabbatical with the Connors during Maureen's illness, so it took me a lot longer than it would have in the past. I was concentrating so intently on my task and was becoming so frustrated that I didn't notice when someone was approaching behind me.

"People have been shot for doing a lot less than what you're doing there there Buddy," a gruff cautioned while they pressed the barrel of a shotgun into my back.

I slowly raised my hands and with my back still facing him replied, "And I've injured people for mistaking me for a guy before too Bobby."

"Addy?" He clarified as he lowered the barrel. "What are you doing here so late at night?"

I finally turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck saying, "Well I can't keep letting you boys have all the fun without me now can I?"

"I guess not. I'm so glad you came out… now let's get inside so I can bring you up to speed on everything," he instructed warmly as he unlocked the door and directed me into the house.

"So, have you talked to the boys recently?" Bobby asked as he went into the kitchen to get us each a drink.

"No, not really… not since before they went out to Nevada," I called out while getting comfortable on the couch. "I've been meaning to call, but since Toby and I haven't found anything lately, I didn't really want to distract them, you know? But… is there news?"

"Here you go," Bobby stated while passing me a tumbler of Wild Turkey on the rocks. "From what they just called to tell me, sounds like three down and one to go."

"What? Really? So who's left then?" I questioned watching him as he moved to his usual spot behind his desk.

"Just Death Koala Bear, just Death," he replied while keeping his back to me and pulling down a few books from a shelf by the fireplace.

I snorted with a chuckle and echoed, "'Just Death'. Bobby when did all of this become so blasé to us?"

He turned around and smiled realizing how simplistic he had made hunting down a Horseman sound.

"So… how does one track down Death then? Any leads about where he might be hiding himself these days?" I asked as I finished off my drink.

"Well…" he started slowly while nervously looking through the books on his desk and deliberately avoided making eye contact with me.

"Don't worry about that darling, Bobby and I have that all under control," a velvety smooth foreigner's voice commented from the library's doorway.

"Oh… you two have it covered now do you? Alright… and you would be who now?" I questioned suspiciously.

In an attempt to be charming, he walked over to take my right hand in his and kissed it gently. "How rude of me not to introduce myself, my name is Crowley."

"Crowley?" I repeated with a sneer while snatching my hand back and rubbing it on the leg of my pants. "CROWLEY?" I yelled even louder in Bobby's direction while jumping up off the couch.

"So we're working with demons now?" I shouted angrily towards Bobby as I slammed my fist on his desk trying to get him to stop staring at the texts on his desk. "A FUCKING DEMON?"

"Now… now, let's not be nasty," Crowley protested as he exaggerated how insulted he felt about my reaction.

I half turned and pointed my forefinger at him saying, "Shut it! I wasn't talking to you!" And then I turned back to Bobby and continued to shout, "Bobby! What the hell is going on?"

"Koala Bear calm down. I can explain… he's been helping…"

"HELPING? To what… to keep the Apocalypse ball rolling? He's a demon Bobby! A DEMON!" I yelled even louder as if he wasn't aware of it and that I was enlightening him with new information and hoping that I could make him see my point of view.

"Addy it's not like that. He wants to stop Lucifer just as much as we do… he's helping us find Death," Bobby explained trying to calm me down. "Just give him a chance and you'll see for yourself…"

"A chance? No… no fucking way! There is no fucking way that I'm going to work with a goddamn demon. NO! Not after… after… what happened. No…" I stuttered as the volume of my voice finally lowered a notch or two while I got lost in another thought.

Bobby looked up at me with sadness in his eyes as he responded, "Addy, oh sweetie, I'm sorry… I almost forgot…"

"Yeah… well…" I started bitterly. "Well then you do whatever you need to do and you work with whoever you want but no… not me… I just can't," I continued as I started out of the room.

"Koala Bear…" Bobby protested remorsefully.

"Adelaide," Crowley gently objected as he grabbed my arm in a gentle grasp. "Adelaide you might not like me or like the situation, but I have a lead."

I stared at his hand and in a low vicious tone retorted, "Get your fucking hand off of me… NOW! Don't make me ask you again."

He quickly removed his hand and then I wasted no time to get out the front door.

Once I was out of the room, Crowley turned to Bobby and said, "My… isn't she a little firecracker?"

"She's been through a lot lately and after what Pacer did to her, I really don't blame her for her reaction," Bobby replied with a tone of guilty regret.

"Pacer?" Crowley questioned sounding astonished. "She had a run-in with Pacer and came out alive? My… my… that is remarkable," he finished by looking at the path I had taken to get out the door while sounding genuinely impressed.

After I slammed the front door shut, I stood at the railing trying to decide what I should do next. I wanted to stay and help, but one look at the scars on my wrists and I was immediately reminded why the thought of even being near a demon made me nauseous. I stared out into the night as my anger continued to boil, but I managed to contain any tears that threatened to form while I weighed the pros and cons of staying and of leaving.

I pushed myself off the railing having finally decided that no matter how much the guys may have needed my help, there was no way I could work with a demon. Luckily I hadn't unpacked my car yet, therefore I had no need to go back into Bobby's house, so I started to make my way to my car. As I reached out to open the driver side door, I stopped when I heard a car coming down the driveway.

"Dean!" I exclaimed in a whisper as I turned to see the familiar headlights of the Impala.

I threw on a hoody that I pulled off the backseat and looped my thumbs through the manufactured holes in the cuffs to further ensure that my wrists would be hidden from view. Then I found a seat on the trunk of my GTO while I nervously awaited their arrival.

After the car was parked, a third person got out of the back seat before Sam and Dean could exit.

 _Who the…? Bobby didn't mention the guys enlisting anyone else's help. Fuck, it better not be another goddamn demon,_ I thought to myself more than a little surprised.

"Cas? CAS?" I cried out jumping off the trunk and running towards the trench coat clad angel. "Cas! Oh my God, you're alive!"

He turned to face me once I reached a spot by the trunk of the Impala. "Hello Addy. I didn't know that you would be here."

I threw my arms around him and pulled him as close to myself as possible. "Yeah, well no one told me that you were back either! Thank God you're okay!"

"Thanks Addy," he struggled to reply. "But… umm… you're kind of crushing me."

I immediately released him from my embrace and apologized sheepishly, "Sorry… sorry. I guess I got a little carried away there, sorry."

Sam and Dean had now exited the Impala and were sharing a hearty laugh at my expense.

"Hey guys," I said  as I walked over towards them. "It's good to see you both too." I finished by pulling Sam into a hug.

"Ditto," he replied squeezing me tightly.

I finally turned to face Dean and was immediately struck and overwhelmed by my emotions. The last time I saw him, Dean was on his way to say 'Yes' to Michael and I wasn't prepared for the relief that washed over me at being able to see him in person again.

"Hey you," I whispered while taking a step closer to him.

"Hey yourself," he responded lacing the fingers of both of his hands with mine before pulling me into a kiss.

"So Cas… umm… why don't we go see what Bobby's found out about Death?" Sam asked while pointing him towards the house.

Dean and I continued our passionate embraces while ignoring the other two completely until I found myself pinned up against the passenger side of the Impala. I ran my hands up Dean's arms and then held the sides of his face to maintain heated contact with his lips. When he felt the cloth of my hoody's cuffs on his cheeks, Dean reached up, held them and then gingerly guided my hands to my sides.

"So… not that it's an unwelcomed surprise, but what are you doing out here all by yourself ?" He asked as he combed my hair with his fingers amorously.

"Well I had driven out here to help you guys, but seeing that there's already a full house in there, I had just decided to head back home," I answered while avoiding eye contact by picking at the cuffs of my sleeves.

"'Full house'? Who else does Bobby have in there?"

"Crowley," I whispered with a slight sneer and staring at my hands and rubbing my left wrist absentmindedly.

"Oh… yeah… him. I should have told you about that," he stated softly. When I continued to just play with my sleeves, Dean held my hands, unhooked my thumbs from the cuffs and slowly pushed them back. "Lay… did it do this to you?"

I nodded slowly then turned my eyes up to him without lifting my chin.

"Which is why Crowley being here makes you so uncomfortable…" he commented more to himself as he looked at my wrists.

"Yeah. Bobby said that he's helping but… still… demon…" I shivered as I responded and Dean pulled me close then rubbed his hand vigorously on my back trying to warm me up.

"Sorry Lay, but he is helping… quite a bit actually," he explained while still holding me close to warm me up with the heat radiating from his body. "He even saved Sam and me from some hellhounds recently."

"Yeah, I figured he must have proven himself to you guys or Bobby wouldn't let him in the house," I answered as I pushed myself out of his arms so I could look him in the eyes. "But I… I just can't go back in… not yet."

"Sure, that's no problem. I'm sure we can find some other way to kill time together until you're ready," he said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Really?" I replied coyly and took his hand in mine to lead him to the backseat of my GTO.

Even before the door was closed, Dean's lips had consumed my own as he lay down on top of me. We twisted and shifted slightly until we were both more comfortable. While we maintained the heated contact of our lips, I helped Dean out of his jacket and he bundled it up and gently lifted my head to place it under it as a pillow. As he made more comfortable, we just stared at each other for a moment smiling warmly.

Dean pet my face slowly with his left hand and undid the zipper of my hoody with his right. We struggled somewhat to get me out of the jacket so I sat up to make it easier. We shared a chuckle when Dean hit the back of his head on the roof of the car when he sat back as well while removing my hoody.

"Are you okay Dean?" I asked suppressing more laughter as I gently rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm fine," he replied, taking both of my hands in his and kissing the scars on my wrists slowly and deliberately. Having him draw attention to them like that embarrassed me beyond belief and I quickly retracted them and hid them under my legs.

"Lay…" he started with concern overtaking his tone.

I sat up and pulled him forward by his t-shirt and stifled his speech with a deep kiss. "Later," I whispered into his ear as I pulled his tee out of his jeans and work at lifting it over his head.

"Okay," he replied tossing the shirt behind him before he kissed my neck and made his way down to my collarbone.

Once he reached the spot he was working towards, he started to nibble at my scar, and then he ran his hand up my shirt until it found its home on my breast. I leaned my head back in an attempt to give myself over completely to his embraces, but when I closed my eyes I felt like I was no longer in Dean's loving arms on the backseat of my car. Suddenly I felt like I was back on the Lamb's couch struggling desperately out of the demon's hold.

"No… no… stop," I pleaded almost inaudibly.

He didn't seem to hear my protest, so I instinctively started to struggle harder out of his arms and away from his loving embraces.

"NO! Stop! Stop!" I shouted as I started to punch and slap at his chest. "No! Please! No! STOP!" I continued to plead as I twisted on the seat with my eyes squeezed shut.

"Lay… Lay…" he called out softly now seated upright on the seat fully clothed. "Lay, come on… it's okay. Please open your eyes, it's okay."

I slowly opened my eyes to see Dean twisted on the seat with a terrified look on his face.

"Dean… oh God… oh my God, I'm so sorry," I apologized while sitting up and covering myself with his jacket.

He slid closer and placed his hand on my leg saying, "Lay… you know that conversation that we were going to have later? I think it's 'later' now."

I nodded slowly and looked over at him as he tenderly held my face and caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"Okay… yeah… you're right Dean," I agreed as I draped his jacket over my knees so I could take his hand from my face and lightly peck his lips. I stared at our hands in my lap for a moment before taking a deep breath to prepare myself.

I finally looked back at him and held his hand tightly as I started my difficult story. "So… you already know that I was held against my will by a demon that was possessing the Sheriff, right? Well… the detail that we left out was that I woke up that morning handcuffed to their bed…" I then held my hands up to show him my scars as if he had never seen them before now. "Umm… naked… "

"Oh… Lay…" he sighed as he held my hands and stroked the scars on the top of my wrists.

"And well… I won't go into all of the gory and graphic details, but I'll just put it this way… umm… everything that you think could have happened… it uhh… it did," I finished quietly.

"I… I didn't know that he… he…"

"Don't say it Dean, please? It's such a gross word. But, yeah… that's why I drove two counties over to go to the hospital. I couldn't risk it getting out that I was… was… well you know." I took another deep breath and maintained steady eye contact. "But don't worry Dean… like I said before, the doctor gave me a clean bill of health, so now it's just a matter of time for me to be me again. I thought that I was over the worst of it, but I haven't tried to be this intimate with anyone since then, so I guess I didn't realize that that feeling was still in the back of my mind. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Shh… don't apologize, it's not your fault," he said as he pulled me into a comforting hug. "But I have to admit that I'm pretty happy to hear that you haven't been in this position with anyone else to find out that you were still feeling that way," he teased lovingly.

"Dean," I scolded with a chuckle and a playful slap on his chest.

"What? You think that I'm joking, but it would have been a hell of a lot worse to hear, 'this didn't happen with the last guy I was with'."

"Dean!" I chastised with a sigh as I laughed softly before more earnestly replying, "Thank you for understanding."

I leaned over and kissed him softly then he said, "Of course I understand. I just wish that there was something I could do to make it all just go away. I really do."

I slipped my arms around his waist and placed my head on his shoulder saying, "You just being here is helping. Plus… I haven't had a full night's sleep in weeks, so maybe that would help too."

He kissed the top of my head and replied, "Well then why don't we turn in for the night?"

"Okay," I whispered as he opened his door.

I slid over the seat to get out on his side of the car. He hugged me tightly and then I pulled out my keys to open the trunk. Without saying a word, Dean threw my duffle bag over his shoulder then wrapped his free arm around my waist to lead me towards Bobby's house.


	19. But it Took So Long to Meet You

_**I woke up in the morning with a renewed sense of calm as I lay on the bed basking in the warmth of the sun shining on my face. I rolled off the bed, somewhat begrudgingly because I could have easily spent the rest of the day relaxing in bed, took a hot comforting shower and then changed in preparation for the day ahead.** _

_**As I walked down the stairs to the main floor, my stomach growled so I rubbed it telling it out loud, "Yeah, yeah, yeah… I hear you, but it'll take me a little bit to bake a pie. Just hold your horses."** _

_**This was the third morning in a row that I had woken up with an almost insatiable desire for pie and I finally had all of the ingredients to allow me to bake a few different flavors. It was also the third day in a row that I had inadvertently slept in past noon, so I did a quick sweep upstairs and down to make sure that Toby had gotten off to school okay.** _

_**I found a muffin on the counter and started nibbling on it when I found a notepad sitting in the middle of the island. I picked it up with my free hand and read,** _ **"Hey! I didn't' want to wake you up, so I just took the bus to school. Sorry, no news on either front. <3 Toby." **

**Hmm… no news, eh? I guess that could be good, right?** _**I thought to myself just before my stomach growled loudly once again. "Okay, Okay, I'm baking a pie right now. Geez, calm down you." I laughed as I rubbed it vigorously.** _

_**I had just placed a third pie into the oven and was looking at the mound of dishes in order to form a plan of attack when I hear a tentative knock at the back door. I was more than somewhat covered in flour, so I started to wash my hands as I called out, "It's open! Come on in!"** _

_**I was drying my hands on my apron when I turned my eyes up towards the now open door and smiled saying, "Dean?"** _

" _ **Hey Lay," he responded quietly with a hitch in his voice.**_

_**I took off my apron and placed it on the island as I walked towards Dean to wrap my arms around him tightly.** _

" _ **Oh my God, I missed you so much," I exclaimed as I held his face and kissed his lips.**_

" _ **I missed you too," he replied as he ran his hands up to the protruding lump at my abdomen. "Lay… is there something that you need to tell me about?"**_

_**He looked deep into my eyes while continuing to rub my stomach with a worried smile clouding his rugged face.** _

" _ **Well, I wanted to make sure that the whole Apocalypse thing was over and done with before I laid a new burden on your shoulders," I answered trying to use a nonchalant tone. "So… is it over?"**_

" _ **Yeah," he said quietly as a tear trickled down his cheek. "Yeah, it's over… he's back in his cage again," he choked out quietly.**_

" _ **Oh… Dean," I said as I pulled him close and kissed his moistened cheek. Once he was close to me, I looked outside and finally noticed that he was alone, which meant that Sam's plan had actually worked.**_

" _ **Dean… why don't you come over here and take a seat?" I instructed lovingly as I led him to the breakfast nook.**_

_**Once he was seated, he held my belly and kissed it softly before looking up at me with a sad and pleading gaze.** _

" _ **So… Dean… umm… remember that amazing afternoon we spent together a few months ago? Well… I hope you're ready… umm to be a daddy," I announced hesitantly.**_

" _ **Really? I'm going to be a dad? Do you… do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" He questioned not taking his hands or eyes off of my baby bump. "Do I smell pie?"**_

_**I laughed softly as I placed my hand over one of his and followed his circular motion and said, "I haven't gone to find out, yet… I thought we could do that together, but if my cravings are any indication then I'm think we're going to have a girl."** _

" _ **Cravings? I… I don't understand."**_

" _ **Well Daddy, I woke up this morning with a wicked craving for strawberry pie, so I started baking a strawberry rhubarb pie. Then once it was done and in the oven, I immediately wanted a blueberry pie, but once it was done I then wanted an apple pie. So right now, as we speak, all three are baking. I figured once they're done we'll see what she really wanted."**_

_**He pulled me closer to him and rested his cheek on my belly and sighed loudly. I ran my fingers through his hair and look out towards the Impala sadly while it sat beside my GTO. I was still stunned that Sam was actually gone and couldn't even fathom that he was in Hell right now.** _

" _ **Well… he… or she sure did know how to win their Daddy over… Lay, will it be much longer until the pies are done?" Dean inquired without attempting to hide his excitement.**_

" _ **They'll be ready soon enough Dean. Why don't you go and get your stuff and get settled in? One of them should be ready by the time you're done," I replied before I gently pulled his head back and kissed him softly.**_

_**I then started to walk away with the thought that he would follow my instructions until Dean suddenly pull me back onto his lap.** _

" _ **Dean!" I shrieked in playful shock.**_

_**He rubbed my belly with his left hand while he held the back of my head with his right and kissed me passionately.** _

_**When he finally leaned back, I slowly opened my eyes and felt a smile spread across my lips as I pet his beaming face.** _

" _ **Am I really going to be a dad?"**_

" _ **Yes Dean… yes, you are, again. And I promise, this time we will raise him or her together."**_

_**Another tear escaped from his eye and I lightly brushed it away as I asked, "Dean… Dean are you okay?"** _

" _ **Yeah Lay, I'm fine. I'm just… just so happy to hear that. Oh Lay… I love you so much."**_

" _ **I love you too Dean." I finished by pulling myself up to kiss him hungrily.  
**_

_********************************************************************************************************************************** _

" _ **AHHHH! DAMN YOU DEAN! YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!" I screamed loudly as I grabbed his hospital scrub covered chest violently to pull him towards me. "YOU… you're so fucking going to feel my wrath Winchester. Mark my words!" I hissed as I pulled his face closer to mine.**_

" _ **Lay… Lay… come on just breathe," he coached while starting to demonstrate the breathing techniques that we had learned during our months at Lamaze class. "The doctor is going to be back soon with the epidural… Come on, just breathe."**_

" _ **YOU JUST FUCKING BREATHE," I seethed as I released his chest from my grasp and leaned back on the bed and gripping the bed sheets tightly. I finally heeded his advice and tried mimicking his rhythmic breathing, but it did little to nothing to help ease the pain I was enduring. "How did I forget this part?" I asked no one in particular while squeezing my eyes tightly to keep from screaming out in pain again. "Goddammit this hurts _ **… fuuuuuuuuuuuck."**_  
**_

" _ **It's alright Addy. You are doing great. Dean's right, you're finally far enough along now that we can start the epidural. Just keep breathing, you're doing just fine," a soft spoken nurse echoed trying to further pacify me.**_

" _ **Yes ma'am… but… but will it be much longer? It just… it just hurts so much I can barely stand it," I questioned trying to remain calm.**_

" _ **Soon Addy, soon," she replied while making some final preparations around the hospital room.**_

_**Dean was standing beside the bed, still rubbing his chest when the doctor entered the room. As they rolled me onto my side to insert the small painful needle into my spine, Dean was the only one able to see the terror in my eyes. He quickly approached me again in another attempt to comfort me.** _

_**He kneeled down beside the bed so that we were face to face and held my hand tightly as he softly instructed, "Just focus on me right now Lay. Just focus on my eyes. You can do this… you're the strongest woman that I know. Come on… just look at me."** _

_**I opened my eyes to look into his and whispered, "I'm sorry Dean. I'm not really mad at you… it just hurts so much _ **…**_ I _ **…**_ I don't even _ **…**_ Oh God it hurts."** _

_**He picked up a face clothes and wiped some sweat off my brow. "Shh… don't worry about that right now, it's fine. I love you so much."** _

_**After he softly pecked my lips, I quietly replied, "I love you too."** _

" _ **Okay Miss Jones, are you ready for the hard part?" The doctor's voice broke through the haze of pain and painkillers.**_

_**I was helped onto my back once again as I answered, "Yes ma'am."** _

_**Dean started to release my hand, but I squeezed his tightly. "No Dean, don't go. Stay, please? I need you here with me _ **…**_ I promise I won't try to beat you up again."** _

_**He smiled down at me warmly saying, "Of course. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."** _

" _ **Okay Addy it's time. Ready? Push…"**_

_**After the first three hours of standing by my side diligently and without complaint, a nurse was kind enough to get Dean a chair to sit on while he helped me through the fifteen hour ordeal.** _

" _ **You're doing great Lay… come on, you're almost there."**_

" _ **He's right Addy… just one more big push. Ready? On three… one… two… three…"**_

_**I forced my body to comply with their orders even though I was beyond exhausted. I flopped back onto my mound of pillows and held my breath until I heard the distant cry of our newborn baby.** _

" _ **Congratulations mom and dad, you have a beautiful baby girl," the nurse announced as she carried over our tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket.**_

_**Once she was in my arms, Dean stood up and kissed my forehead. "She's beautiful, just like her mum."** _

_**I kissed his cheek and teasingly said, "And she a pain in the persqueeter just like her papa."** _

_**After allowing us a few moments with our daughter, the nurse came back to my side and extracted the tiny bundle from my arms. "I'll take her to the nursery now. You two should get some rest because your family will want to visit with you soon. Dad, you can use that bed over there if you'd like."** _

" _ **Thank you nurse, I think I'll take you up on that."**_

_**Once we were alone, he leaned in and placed a deep kiss on my lips. I shifted to one side of my bed and stroked his face lovingly.** _

" _ **There's lots of room here on this bed," I said while coyly petting the empty space I had created.**_

" _ **Well it is a lot closer than that bed way over there," he answered softly while crawling in beside me.**_

_**I cuddled in close to him and rested my head on his chest and asked, "Dean? Can we wait another twelve years before we go through that again?"** _

" _ **Sure Lay," he chuckled as he kissed my head. "We can wait as long as you want."**_

_**When I woke up later that day, I was alone in my bed and slightly disoriented until the aching in my body reminded me where I was.** _

" _ **Are you awake?" A tentative voice called from the door.**_

" _ **Sure am Toby, come on in Buddy," I replied while adjusting the sheets to make sure that I was covered up appropriately.**_

" _ **Hey mum, I umm I bought you this," he announced while presenting a small potted rose bush. "Mom says that it's nice to bring someone flowers when they're in the hospital, but Bea said that it would be in bad taste to give you dead flowers when we're celebrating a new life, so she suggested this… Mom said that she'd plant it for you at the house so that it would be in the garden for when you get home."**_

_**He put it on the window sill then walked over to my side and I pulled him close to kiss his cheek.** _

" _ **Thanks Buddy. That was so thoughtful of you. I can't wait to see what it looks like when it's blooming."**_

" _ **It'll probably take a while," he responded sounding slightly dejected.**_

" _ **So then I'll wait, it'll be worth it… have you gone to see your sister already?"**_

" _ **No, but mom and dad went to go see her… I wanted to check on how you were doing first."**_

" _ **Oh Buddy… you are just too sweet. I'm pretty good… tired but good," I answered while caressing his face. "Thanks for checking up on me."**_

_**He leaned in and gave me a squeeze. We were still hugging each other tightly when Maureen and Bill entered the room quietly chatting about the new addition to our family.** _

" _ **Oh Adelaide, she is just so beautiful," Maureen praised as she kissed my head. "And you're still absolutely glowing darling."**_

" _ **Thanks Mo. I'm beyond exhausted, so I know you're lying, but thanks."**_

" _ **Of course you are darling… Tobias? Did you want to go see her? Dean's at the nursery and he was asking about you."**_

" _ **So that's where he disappeared to," I commented chuckling.**_

" _ **The nurses said that he's been glued to the nursery's glass since he woke up," Bill recounted lightheartedly.**_

" _ **Umm is it okay if I go and see her later mom? I still want to make sure that mum… uhh Addy's comfortable and all."**_

" _ **That's fine son. Adelaide can we get you anything? A drink? Food?"**_

" _ **I'd kill for a cup of coffee," I replied with a sigh knowing that most of my favorite beverages were still off limits since I was planning to breast-feed my newborn child.**_

" _ **Ooh I can take care of that for you!" Toby cried out jubilantly as he ran out the door before any of us could object.**_

_***************************************************************** _

" _ **So which one is yours Dean?"**_

_**Dean slowly pried his eyes off the sleeping baby on the other side of the glass and turned to look at the new arrival.** _

" _ **Bobby! It's good to see you," he exclaimed as he pulled the hunter into a hug. "She's the gorgeous little one right there. See her… near the back there?"**_

"' _ **Victoria Mary Winchester Jones'," Bobby read the name tag out loud. "She's beautiful Dean. Absolutely adorable. Congratulations son."**_

" _ **Thanks Bobby, but Lay did all of the hard work," Dean replied while refocusing his gaze on his baby girl.**_

" _ **Speaking of… when are you finally going to ask that girl to marry you?"**_

_**Dean quickly turned to look at Bobby again. "What? What did you say Bobby?"** _

" _ **You heard me son. That girl has given you two beautiful babies now, so when are you finally going to make an honest woman out of her?"**_

_**Dean continued to stare at Bobby as the color drained completely from his face.** _

" _ **Dean? Son are you alright? I was just teasing," Bobby recanted as he helped to keep Dean on his feet.**_

" _ **I've… I've been thinking about it… but… do you think she'd say 'yes'?"**_

" _ **You're lucky you've got your looks Dean because you're a complete idiot sometimes… of course she'll say 'yes'."**_

" _ **Daddy, it's time for her feeding. Did you want to carry her to mom for her first meal?" A nurse mercifully interrupted as she passed the now awake newborn to Dean.**_

" _ **Definitely," Dean answered enthusiastically. "Victoria, this is your Uncle Bobby."**_

" _ **Hey there gorgeous… son she's just absolutely perfect," Bobby praised completely awestruck.**_

" _ **And now she's getting fussy, so we better get her to Lay before she gets too unruly," Dean observed with a chuckle.**_

" _ **Alright, you lead the way."**_

_**************************************************** _

" _ **What about this?" Toby asked as he tried to find something for us to watch on TV.**_

" _ **Eww, Tobs a soap opera? Give me the remote," I teased as he twisted away from me at my side on the bed.**_

" _ **No way! You said that it was my choice, so I'm choosing!" He asserted while changing the channel. "What about this?"**_

" _ **That's better," I replied as I started to tickle him. "Anything's better than a soap opera."**_

" _ **Mum! Stop! Stop!" He gasped through his laughter. "Addy! I can't breathe! Please! Stop!" He continued to howl.**_

" _ **Well it sounds like the party's in here."**_

_**Toby and I paused in midair and turned towards the door and exclaimed in unison, "Bobby!"** _

" _ **Hey there Koala Bear… how are you doing Toby?"**_

_**Toby jumped off the bed and ran to give Bobby a huge bear hug. "We missed you Bobby."** _

" _ **I'm sorry it's taken me so long to visit," Bobby replied before he walked over to my side and kissed my cheek. "How are you holding up Beautiful?"**_

" _ **I'm still kind of tired, but she's a dream come true, so I think she's worth it. Have you seen her yet Bobby?"**_

" _ **I sure did and you're right, she's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."**_

" _ **Have you seen dad?" Toby asked. "I mean Dean… Bill's gone home with mom."**_

" _ **Yeah… he was with me, but I seemed to have lost him along the way here."**_

" _ **Sorry… sorry, I'm here," Dean announced as he entered the room with a nurse following closely. "But it's all Victoria's fault because everyone just had to stop me to admire her as I made my way back."**_

" _ **Dean! She's not even a day old and you're already trying to blame your tardiness on her?" I scolded with an amused tone.**_

" _ **But… oh never mind," he conceded as the nurse gently lifted Victoria out of his arms.**_

" _ **Hey Buddy! When did you get here?"**_

" _ **A little while ago," Toby answered as he and Dean shared a warm hug.**_

" _ **So Toby… are you ready to meet your sister?" Dean asked while wrapping his arm around his son's shoulder and moving Toby closer to my bedside.**_

_**Toby swallowed hard and quietly replied, "Yeah… I think so."** _

_**While I balance Victoria on my right arm, I held Toby's hand with my left hand. "Toby, say 'Hi' to Victoria."** _

" _ **Hi Victoria," Toby greeted softly while tentatively touching her tiny hand.**_

_**The newborn opened her eyes and after a few seconds started to scream loudly.** _

_**Toby quickly withdrew his hand and turned to Dean with tears welling up in his eyes and said in a truly horrified tone, "I didn't mean to hurt her… did I break her?"** _

_**Dean pulled him into a half hug laughing softly while I squeezed Toby's hand encouragingly.** _

" _ **No you didn't, your sister is just telling your mom that she's ready to eat," the nurse explained with a chuckle as she placed a small, lightweight blanket over my shoulder. "Now Addy, don't be discouraged if she doesn't take to breast feeding straight away, that's normal."**_

" _ **Well if it would help for someone to demonstrate, I'd be happy to volunteer," Dean offered somewhat earnestly.**_

" _ **Dad! Gross! Tell me you didn't just say that!" Toby protested wholeheartedly.**_

" _ **Well son, I think that's our cue to give them some privacy," Bobby announced sympathetically while shaking his head at Dean's insensitivity. "Why don't we go see if we can get your mom something to eat while Victoria's feeding?"**_

" _ **Sure, okay Bobby. Any special requests mum?"**_

" _ **Why don't you just surprise me Tobs? Thanks Bobby."**_

_**After they left the room, I turned my attention to Dean. "You're going to scar that poor boy for life with talk like that you know."** _

" _ **Sorry Lay, I'll behave… so nurse, how is she doing?"**_

" _ **Looks like she's feeding pretty well on the first try. I'll leave you three alone for a bit, just call when she's done."**_

" _ **Thanks Lonnie, we will," I replied without taking my focus off Victoria's face.**_

I was awoken by Dean lovingly rubbing my stomach and kissing the top of my head. I snuggled in closer to his chest and stroked the back of his hand while it was still stroking my abdomen.

"Dean? Is everything okay?" I asked as I leaned back and tried to get a look at his face in the dim light of Bobby's Panic Room.

"I was just thinking," he started as he continued to rub my belly. "The last time we were together, you know 'together' together, we weren't… I mean, I don't remember using protection and well… the only other time that we forgot to be safe, you had Toby."

I chuckled softly then took his hand in mine and laced our fingers together. "True… so Dean, is that your way of asking me if I'm pregnant?"

"Umm… yeah, kind of… I mean, do you know? Or are you waiting until the Apocalypse is taken care of before you tell me?"

I leaned up towards his face until our lips somehow connected.

"No Dean, I'm not waiting to tell you anything and no I'm definitely not pregnant," I replied as I rubbed his chest amorously.

"You're sure? I mean… my dream… it was so vivid," he continued sounding bewildered.

 _His dream… we didn't? No… there's no way that we had the same dream,_ I thought to myself before I explained to him how I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was no way that I was carrying his child.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I'm sure. When I was at the hospital the doctor gave me something to make sure that there wouldn't be any… umm surprises after what Pacer, uhh the demon, did to me. I'm sorry Dean, I'm so so sorry," I said though guilt ridden tears that had started to fall. "It isn't that I wouldn't… I don't… because I do… but I couldn't chance… "

"Lay… shh," he started to console me while holding me tightly and rubbing my back. "You don't have to apologize. You did what you thought was right. Please don't cry… it's not your fault. Everything is going to be okay."

"Okay… but still, I'm sorry. I just thought that there was no way that I could be and that I didn't want his… still, I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay… it's okay. We should get some more rest, so try to get back to sleep. Everything's alright."

"Yeah… but Dean… one question? Umm… in your dream… was her name…" For some reason I couldn't bring myself to finish my thought and Dean thankfully interjected, "Yeah, she was named after both of our moms. Now… please Lay, try to get some more sleep, okay?"

"Okay, okay. Man… who would have thought that Bobby's Panic Room would help me to relax enough to actually sleep?"

Dean cleared his throat loudly and I replied, "Right… sorry, you did. Good night Dean."


	20. And Leapt Out of This Cage

"Shit! Ow!"

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of Dean's voice cursing softly and the mattress of the bed shaking ever so slightly.

"Dean? Ow… fuck… What…?"

Suddenly I realized why he was in pain and was cussing up a storm. Somehow during the night I had curled into his side with his arm up against the lead wall while also pinning it under me. When he tried to quietly leave in the morning, he couldn't because my full weight was on the arm and had him trapped on the bed.

He rolled back into my side and whispered into my ear, "Sorry Lay. I was trying to sneak out and let you sleep in a bit longer but…"

I rolled over so that we were face to face and finished his statement, "…but I had you pinned to the bed and your arm fell asleep."

"Yeah, something like that," he replied before leaning in to kiss me.

While maintain the rhythmic contact with our lips, Dean rolled onto his back and with his free arm, pulled me over so that I was laying on top of him.

I pushed up on the mattress to raise my torso and through bated breath teased, "If you wanted me to move so that you could free your arm, all you had to do was ask."

I was now in a seated position, straddling his waist, so Dean sat up and with his 'good' arm pulled me close to him saying, "But that was more fun."

I picked up his left arm and started to massage it in an effort to help get the circulation going again. I moved my hands up and down his arm as Dean ran his fingers along the length of my spine asking, "So how did you sleep last night Lay?"

"Like a freaking log. I honestly can't remember the last night that I've slept that soundly lately. How's your arm feeling?" I questioned sympathetically with a playful pout.

Dean responded my gently releasing his arm from my grasp. He then wrapped both arms around my back and pulled me close into his chest. Once I was flush against his torso, he looped his hands onto my shoulders and leaned in to kiss me softly.

"Seems to be working just fine now," he whispered into my ear seductively while refusing to loosen his hold on my back and shoulders. "You have no idea how much I missed holding you."

I took a few short, shallow breaths as I felt the panic of claustrophobia setting in. Dean had his head against my chest in what he thought was a warm, loving embrace, but when he felt my racing heart as I was hyperventilating, he quickly released me and push himself back so that he could look at my face.

"Lay? Lay? Oh man… what did I do?" He questioned with terrified concern.

I pushed myself out of his arms and turned my back to him as I dangled my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Nothing… you didn't do anything wrong," I answered with a tone of bewilderment as I held my head in my hands. "God! What's wrong with me? My boyfriend wants to hold me and hug me and I feel claustrophobic. One moment I can't get enough of the taste of your lips and then I freak out the next." I twisted slightly to look back and him and apologized saying, "Dean… I'm so sorry that I'm so screwed up."

"Lay, you're not screwed up," he replied as he moved forward and kissed my shoulder. "You endured something that was really traumatic, so you just have to give yourself time."

"But I want to be better now." I turned all the way around and pulled his head forward and placed a determined kiss on his lips. "I love you and I want to be able to show you how much I care about you without reservation, especially right now."

As I affectionately attacked his lips, Dean gently pushed me back and protested saying, "Lay, we can take it slow. Please, don't rush on my account. If you need time then let's give you time."

"No," I stated firmly as I undid the button and fly of his jeans. "I've always faced my fears head on and that's exactly what I have to do now."

I ran my hands up his chest under his t-shirt and whispered seductively into his ear, "You're facing Death soon… let me show you how much I love you before you do."

"Lay…" he breathlessly started. "Are you sure?"

I pulled his shirt up over his head and then pushed him down on the bed somewhat forcefully. I ran my hands down the length of his torso as my mouth followed my fingertips with kisses. When I reached his waist, I lingered and nibbled the skin just below his waistline and was pleased to feel his excitement mounting underneath my touch.

I then slowly slid off the bed and he raised his head off the bed a little while attempting to see what I was doing and asked, "Lay? Are you alright?"

"Shh… it's fine Dean… just relax," I instructed as I pulled his jeans and boxers off in one smooth, deliberate movement before quickly removing the few layers of clothes I had slept in.

I paused for a moment and took a deep breath as I took in the sight of his body in as much as I could. Dean once again raised his head with worried confusion clouding his face.

"Lay…"

"Dean," I interrupted. "I won't tell you again… just relax."

"Lay…" he continued until I ran my hands up his thighs and started to stroke his hardening member lightly. "Oh… God… Lay…" he panted excitedly.

As I continued the slow stroking motion, I nibbled, licked and kissed my way up to his neck where I once again lingered with some deeper bites. Dean had his head thrown back blissfully, so I continued to kiss his neck with less force.

"Do you want me to stop?" I quietly questioned into his left ear while his face was turned onto his right cheek.

He rolled his head to look at me and started to reply, "Only if…"

He paused when I straddled his midsection and started to softly grind against him to demonstrate to him that my body was more than prepared to continue with my plan of action. "Only… if…" he tried once again.

I held his face in my left hand and placed a slightly rougher kiss on his lips as I started to guide him inside of me.

"Make love to me Dean," I ordered breathlessly. "Make love to me like it's our last time to be together again."

When he felt his tip connecting with my warm, moist body, he succumbed completely and pulled himself into a seated position to help me to fully take in his girth. I shifted my weight so that I was fully straddling his lap and rocked gently up and down on him. Dean kept his hands rested on my back to help keep me steady with a contented smile on his face.

I lowered my lips to his and as I leaned back, I held onto his bottom lip in my teeth and bit down a little too hard. At the same time, I braced my movements against him by putting a hand on each shoulder. Dean yelped with quiet surprise when a couple of my nails threatened to break the skin on his back as my motion became more vigorous as I started to reach my climax.

"Do you love me Dean?" I questioned through a whisper close to his ear.

"Yes…" he panted almost absentmindedly.

"Say it," I commanded in a hushed tone. "Tell me…"

"I love you Lay… I love you…"

I could feel myself tightening around him, so I demanded with more passion," Say my real name Dean… say it… please?"

"Lay…" he protested through his grunts of passion.

I ran my hand up to his hair and placed an excited kiss on his lips.

"Do it Dean… just do it," I pleaded forcefully. "I love you Dean, please… say it… please?"

Before either of us could say anything else, we both reached our apex and couldn't utter anything more than a final few enthusiastic grunts, whimpers and moans.

I remained on Dean's lap as we held each other tightly. Dean had his head against my chest and was listening to my excited heartbeat. I was lightly petting his head until he pushed himself out of my embrace to look up at my face. I smiled then leaned down to kiss him softly, but he pulled further back and looked me square in the eye to say, "I love you Adelaide… I love you more with every breath."

I finally kissed him softly then held his face and replied, "Thank you Dean… but now that that's done, please don't ever call me that again."

His eyes narrowed as his confusion began to show and I chuckled then continued, "Sorry, but it still sounds so wrong when you say it. I just wanted to double check and be sure." I finished with a dismissive shrug trying to playfully shrug off the awkward moment I had created between us.

He chuckled softly and shook his head then I pecked his lips and stood up beside the bed. I allowed Dean to sit and watch me as I twisted and contorted my body as I completed a quick morning stretch before bending over and picking up his clothes to pass them to him. I had been wearing my comfortable workout clothes to sleep, so I grabbed my duffle bag to find my jeans and a long sleeve tee while Dean stood to get dressed.

After pulling out the articles of clothing that I was searching for, I looked up at the half dressed man in front of me. Dean was just lifting his arms to pull on his t-shirt and I caught a glimpse of some red marks that looked fairly painful on his back.

"Oh my God! Dean… did I do that to you?" I asked in amused horror.

He rubbed his shoulders through the cotton of his shirt as he turned around and smirked saying, "Well, I didn't have them before today."

I stood as I fastened my jeans and nonchalantly replied, "Geez… so sorry… I'll try to remember how delicate you are in the future and will refrain from doing any rough stuff."

Dean then watched me as I picked up the clothes I had been sleeping in and folded them before packing them away in my duffle bag. He seemed to be expecting me to say something else and when I didn't, he sat back down beside me on the bed stilled my hands as I busied myself with some other clothes inside.

"Speaking of," he started with a tone of loving concern. "Now please don't take this the wrong way because that was UNBELIEVABLE, but… Lay, you've never been that… that…"

"Rough before?" I asked staring at my hands.

"Yeah… and again, I'm not complaining, I'm just concerned."

I put my duffle bag down on the floor so that I could hold his hands while I spoke.

"I kind of just had to… to remind myself what it felt like to be in complete control again. I realized that for the first time in my life I had allowed myself to be treated like a helpless victim and I think that's why he was still lingering in the back of my mind all this time without me knowing."

"Okay…" he interjected while still sounding uncertain.

I knew that it was only fair to let him know the whole truth, especially since I had injured him during my revelation, so I continued while maintaining the same level of self-confidence.

"See, this is the first time that I haven't owned the situation and that I didn't take care of myself. Hell, the night that I got home from the hospital, I let Toby take care of me and baby me. Fuck… he even tried to be my protector when I was having what he thought was a horrible nightmare, instead of the other way around like it should have been."

I paused and looked up from our hands to make sure that Dean was still listening and that he seemed to understand what I was telling him. When he offered me a warm smile of encouragement, I took it as my cue to continue.

"Then I moved in with the Connors, full time, and it just got worse from there. Instead of taking some time to deal with my feelings I just pushed them aside and ignored them while I let the three of them baby me. God… I even crawled into bed with Toby one night after I had a nightmare about… well about what happened. I think… no I know I enjoyed wallowing in self-pity a little too much in the last little while."

"Lay, that's allowed you know… to let your loved ones take care of you during your time of need."

I smiled and chuckled softly because I knew that I wasn't explaining things properly, so he still couldn't comprehend my rationale.

"I know it is Dean, at leastit is for other people, but that's not how I deal with things. I never have, so when they thought that it was helping me to heal, they were really only allowing me to avoid everything. Take for example when Syd beat me, I couldn't tend to my wounds because my eye was so badly swollen, so I went to the Connors. Once my cuts were patched up, I didn't allow them to pity me because I knew that wouldn't change anything. Instead, I moved onto the next hunt and worked my feelings out while beating down the first evil bastard I found. Once I had my feelings put into perspective and I knew that they wouldn't look at me like a broken doll, I was then able to go back and Mo and I talked it all out. But I didn't do that this time. Do you see what I mean?"

Dean pulled me in close and hugged me tightly. "Yeah, I think I understand now. But, you should know that it's okay to be vulnerable, it doesn't make you weak."

"I know Dean, but there's also a time and a place. With them I was being weak because it was easy to just play the victim and have them do everything for me. And with you… well I've always been my most vulnerable because you always call me on my bullshit and force me to be honest. So… thank you."

"Well, when you put it that way then you're more than welcome." He then shifted his tone to tease me saying, "But Lay, can you promise me one thing?"

I leaned back out of his embrace and smiled brightly. "Of course Dean… anything, just name it."

"Well… the next time that you have a revelation like that and we have Earth shattering sex, could you maybe not draw blood?"

I bit my lip and shook my head while chuckling. Then I smiled smugly and replied, "It's not like I actually broke skin you wuss. Man, here I thought that the 'Great Dean Winchester' was tough. My bad," I teased in a mocking tone.

"Listen here Miss Jones, you want tough, I'll show you tough," he countered defensively as he playfully grabbed my arms and flipped me onto the bed.

While I was lying on my back I tried to pull myself up and kiss him, but Dean dodged my attempt and looked down at me with an expression that I couldn't read. I suddenly felt incredibly guilty because I wondered if I had taken our playful teasing too far.

 _But that's how we normally finish a have conversation… a couple of good-natured jabs and then we move on,_ I thought desperately to myself.

"Dean?" I questioned tentatively.

He sighed heavily then smoothed my hair out of my face and I swallowed hard while anticipating the worst.

"So… do you think Bobby will be pissed that we christened the Panic Room bed too?" He asked while sounding like he was starting the 'It's not you, it's me' speech during a break up.

I opened my eyes and exhaled the breath I had been holding. "What?"

"Well, I mean… there hasn't been a bed yet that we've shared that we haven't had sex in, so I was just wondering if you thought that it would bug Bobby to know that we did it here too," he continued in a less severe, more recognizable teasing tone.

"Oh my God! You ass!" I good-naturedly scolded. "You had me really worried there Dean."

He leaned down and pecked my lips. "Yeah well I owed you for the claw marks."

"Ass! Get off me!" I ordered without being able to suppress my laughter.

As he sat up, Dean pulled me into an upright, seated position. I held his face so that I could kiss him deeply so that he would know that I didn't really mean what I said when I called him an 'Ass'.

Then I quickly sat back and asked with earnest concern, "You don't think he'll know do you?"

He smirked then kissed me again and quietly said into my ear, "Did your parents ever find out about that time in their bed?"

I could feel my cheeks burn hot from the embarrassment with the memory that he just evoked. "No… so just like back then, if he doesn't ask, then we won't tell."


	21. It's Time to Go

Out of habit, Dean and I staggered our arrival upstairs by him going up first and telling everyone that I was still finishing with the last of my packing. Although I had seemingly dealt with my intimacy issues that had been the result of my time spent with Pacer, I was still having concerns in regards to the thought of working alongside Crowley. I sat in the Panic Room trying to come to terms with it, but for some reason I couldn't shake the nauseous feeling that had made a home in the pit of my stomach any time my mind wandered to the topic of the demon.

After what I considered to be an appropriate amount of time, I finally made my way slowly upstairs with my duffle bag slung over my shoulder. Although I was still having to work hard to ignore the nagging feeling that resonated in my gut as I made my way to Bobby's kitchen.

As soon as I was up the stairs, I could hear the men talking in the study. I instinctively hung back from the doorway to eavesdrop on them to figure out what topic they were discussing.

"I don't understand your definition of good news," Castiel stated sounding tired and somewhat defeated.

 _What ARE they talking about?_ I thought to myself as I felt my curiosity being peaked. I then heaved a heavy sigh and concluded inwardly, _I guess I should head in there and join in on the conversation and find out for myself._

Just as I was about to enter the study, I felt my cell phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my right buttock pocket of my jeans to check the call display. When I saw Toby's name and picture on the screen, I immediately dropped my bag by the study door and snuck out the kitchen door onto the porch at the back of Bobby's house.

"Hey Buddy! I'm so glad you called. How's it going?"

" _Good… mom and dad said to say 'Hi' for them. I wanted to call sooner but they told me that I should give you and Dean some time to… you know… 'reunite'."_

"TOBY!" I interjected with an embarrassed but firm tone.

" _What?"_ He responded innocently. _"We thought that you would be talking about everything that has happened while you two were apart. But since you made it about… well that…"_ he continued with a confident tease. _"I've watched action movies with you, so I do know about all that stuff."_

"TOBY!" I interrupted with an exasperated tone as I felt my cheeks burning hot. "Yes… Dean and I had a good long talk last night about everything, but that's as detailed as I'm gonna be… So… your eagerness to call us, is it because you have some information about omens or signs that you've seen?"

" _Oh… so… umm… no…"_ He stammered despondently.

"Really? Nothing?" I questioned almost sadly.

" _What? Oh… yeah… yeah, I found something. There's this one spot where there were a TON of thunder storms within just a couple of days. But to be completely honest, I can't figure out why. I mean, seriously there's nothing of interest there and nothing major happened there in the past… the city's history is really boring. And there's just a bunch of warehouses, so again nothing exciting."_

"Well, alright… are there any strangely named companies that ship out of there? Or has there been any odd activity since the storms passed through?"

" _It took a while, but I did get my hands on some of the shipping schedules for a couple of the places out of there. Umm… let me double check here. Oh, here… 'Niveus Pharmaceuticals' has been upping the frequency of their shipments since the storms. Does that mean anything to you?"_

"No, sorry it doesn't mean anything to me Buddy. But I don't know if it might… I really don't get it. So, I'll pass that information onto the guys and see what they make of it. Thanks Tobs, you did some really great work on this one."

" _Glad to be of help. But… umm… can I ask you a question?"_

"Of course you can. What's up?"

" _Well… you and Dean… you're not having another baby, are you?"_

"No Buddy," I answered with an uncomfortable laugh. "Why do ask?"

" _Oh, it's just… I uhh I had this dream, but it was so real… almost like a memory, you know? But I'm sure it's nothing. Yeah, it's nothing, just forget I said anything. Say 'Hi' to everyone for me. I'll let you know if I find anything else and we'll see you when you get home,"_ he finished cheerfully.

"Oh… okay. Thanks again for all of your help. I'll let you know what we find out. Talk to you soon."

 _Oh my God! No freaking way! There's no way that Toby had the same dream as Dean and I… no… must be something else,_ I thought to myself as I entered the study without anyone noticing me.

"Can't? Or won't?" Dean shouted angrily at Crowley while towering over the demon.

I slunk in beside Castiel while I watched the heated argument that appeared to be escalating between Dean and Crowley.

"I won't, alright? It's insurance," the shorter man explained defiantly.

"What are you talking about?" Dean questioned suspiciously.

"You kill demons. Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it. But you won't kill me as long as I have that soul in the deposit box," Crowley answered with his own venomous tone.

"You son of a bitch!" Bobby shouted heatedly.

 _Oh no Bobby! What did you do?_ I silently questioned sadly to myself as I instinctively grabbed Castiel's hand in search of comfort. He responded by looking down at me with a look of bewildered shock.

 _Sorry Cas. I just thought that you could protect me from the big bad demon,_ I attempted to joke telepathically with a wink and a shrug.

Castiel once again responded by furrowing his brows and gave me a complete look of confusion. I squeezed his hand encouragingly but he continued to stare at me as if he had no idea what was going on in my head.

 _Cas? CAS! CASTIEL!_ I silently yelled in my head as if it would help him to hear my thoughts.

"I'll return it once this is all over and I can walk away freely. Do we all understand each other?" Crowley concluded arrogantly. "Adelaide. It would appear that your angel friend is no longer able to hear you thoughts, so would you mind not shouting?" He stated in my direction without attempting to hide his irritation.

The three hunters immediately turned and focused their attention on me. I quickly released Castiel's hand to step behind him slightly in order to shield myself from view.

"Oh… I didn't know," I admitted almost inaudibly.

I could feel my cheeks flush at being the center of everyone's attention, so I swiftly moved away from the trench coat clad angel to seek refuge on the other side of the room. Dean reached out from his seat to pull me towards him, but I didn't want any displays of affection to further maintain focus on me, so I shrugged him off without looking at him before being able to complete my path to Bobby's window seat. Sam instantaneously shot Dean an angry glare because he misinterpreted my actions as me being upset with his brother when I truly was just trying to keep from drawing any further attention to myself by sitting with Dean… well sitting on Dean's lap. Thankfully, the elder Winchester understood my motivation and continued with the discussion as if that incident hadn't happened at all.

I sat with my hands in my lap and quietly asked, "So… what did I miss?"

"Bobby here's a genius and sold… oh sorry PAWNED his soul to Crowley so that we can possibly find Death," Dean answered still sounding quite aggravated. "As if there wasn't any other way."

"Oh, Bobby…" I whispered sympathetically. I then took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly to maintain a calm demeanor. "Did it work?" I finally asked in a louder tone of voice.

"Yeah, it looks like Death is setting up shop in Chicago right now. So we were going to head out that way today," Sam answered while playing his usual role of the voice of reason.

"Which means we should get packing," Dean instructed sounding very annoyed. He then got off his chair so quickly that he almost knocked it over.

I had to restrain myself from getting up off my seat and chasing after him because I knew that when Dean was that upset, it was better to leave him alone to cool down for a bit. Castiel silently followed Dean outside looking lost and unsure of what he should be doing or how he could be of help. Crowley quickly disappeared from view and I had no doubt that he was reveling with delight at the turmoil he had created within the household.

Sam, Bobby and I were left alone in the study and sat silently with our own thoughts for a moment. Just as I looked up to apologize to Bobby for my actions the night before, Bobby quickly said, "The coffee is probably cold by now… I'll go and make a fresh pot…" before leaving the room without actually looking at either Sam or me.

I sighed heavily and stared at my hands that were still folded in my lap until I felt Sam sit down beside me and wrap his arm around me in a gesture of comfort.

"Addy, is everything okay? What did Dean do to you?" He asked with a quiet gentle tone while he placed a free hand over both of mine.

"What?" I asked sounding genuinely confused as I looked up at him. "What are you talking about Sam?"

"Well just now… when he touched you, you brushed him off pretty quickly. I was just wondering what he said or did to piss you off so much because I might be able to help you out."

"Oh God Sam," I started while trying not to laugh too hard and shaking my head. "No, you've got it all wrong. Dean and I are good, really. It was just that after my faux pas with Cas, I really didn't think that sitting on Dean's lap would be appropriate while we were discussing Death. So… I guess that I look the same when I'm embarrassed as I do when I'm pissed off huh?"

Sam laughed softly before he replied, "Yeah just a little… but that was my mistake. So, really… you two are good?"

I gave him a warm hug and said, "Really, we're great." I leaned back and placed my hand over his heart, "Sam, you have such a heart of gold, but you don't have to worry about us… at least not that way. Dean and I are fine… better then fine. We all just need to focus on the Apocalypse right now okay?"

"Okay. But, if you ever need someone…"

"I will Sam, I promise," I interrupted as I hugged him again. "Now why don't we go see if we can give Dean a hand outside?"

"Sure sounds like a plan," he replied while standing up and offering me his hand to help me to his feet.

Once I was standing, I heard Bobby moving around in the kitchen. When Sam noticed that I wasn't following him, he turned back to face me at the door to ask, "Aren't you coming too?"

I refocused my attention away from the kitchen to reply, "In a minute Sam, there's something that I have to take care of first."

He followed my gaze and nodded in understanding. "Oh, yeah okay… see you out there."

I cautiously made my way into the kitchen and timidly called out, "Bobby?"

He was at the fridge taking out a bottle of milk and he continued to the counter as he answered, "I hope milk's okay for you Koala Bear. I don't have any cream right now, but I'll try to get to the store before tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's fine. Thanks Bobby," I stated as I watched him continue to move from one task to another. Once he finally passed me a mug filled with coffee, I held his hands to force him to make eye contact with me.

"Bobby… can I talk to you for a minute… please?"

He nodded almost absentmindedly and followed me to the kitchen table. I took a seat and drank almost half of the mug's contents in one gulp before speaking.

"Bobby, I really wanted to apologize to you for my outburst last night. I should have let you explain everything to me. I shouldn't have stormed out like that. My behavior was so childish and I'm really REALLY sorry Bobby," I stated calmly as I held his hands.

"It's okay Addy, you had every right to be upset about us working with a demon… especially after what happened to you. I didn't really expect him to show up like that either. I know you all are upset with me, but I honestly thought it was the best way to get a lead," he explained remorsefully.

"Bobby, I understand. I don't like it one bit, but I understand. And I'm guessing that Dean reacted the way he did because he still feels like it's his sole responsibility to stop all of this. The important thing is that we now know where to find Death and that we're all on the same page again to work together," I replied warmly while still holding his hands.

"Thanks Addy, I appreciate you saying that and for your understanding," he stated while pulling me into a hug.

"Okay… now let's go find Death so we can get you your soul back before Crowley has a chance to do something unsavory with it," I teased amorously.

"You head on out and help the boys. I have a few things that I need to take care of in here first."

"Okay, but Bobby, we'll see you out there soon, right?" I questioned pointedly feeling concerned.

Bobby just smiled and nodded as I finished my coffee then picked up my bag to leave. I took it out to my car and dumped it in the trunk before making my way over to the Impala.

 _FUCK! Why is he back?_ I cursed as I approached the car when I saw Sam and Dean once again engaged in a debate with Crowley. Dean had his back to me, so I decided to make up for my brushing him off earlier in the study. When I stepped up behind him, I tickled his sides to announce my presence (part of the fun for me was that I knew how much he hated having that done to him in public).

"What the hell?" He exclaimed almost angrily as he turned around, but his face immediately softened when he saw that it was me. (I'm not sure who else he thought it would have been, but the reaction was amusing none the less.) "Oh! It's you… hey Lay."

I stood up on my tiptoes and pulled his face to mine so that I could kiss him softly. "So… what did I miss now?"

Sam was still smiling brightly at my exchange with his brother, so when he spoke, he sounded much more cheerful than I am sure he intended. "Crowley's pretty sure that he's figured out how Pestilence plans to spread the Croatoan virus country wide."

"Oh," I questioned more than a little stunned. "Is that all?"

Crowley rolled his eyes and passed me the newspaper that was sitting on the trunk of the Impala without uttering anything more than an annoyed sigh.

"'Niveus Pharmaceutical'?" I questioned out loud to myself as I read the headline.

"The loss of blood to your face tells me that that name means something to you," the demon observed in a cool, confident and somewhat tone.

"Yeah… Toby was just telling me this morning that there were a bunch of storms around their main warehouse facility in the last couple of days… and now they're increasing the amount of trucks taking out shipments," I lost some momentum when I spoke as the realization of the culmination of all the information together actually meant.

"Well then, sounds like we found the place," Dean announced triumphantly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his chin on my shoulder to quietly ask, "Is there anything else that Toby has found out that you forgot to tell us?"

I dropped the newspaper back on the closed trunk of the Impala and turned while still in Dean's arms so that we were face to face.

I shook my head and playfully pouted saying, "No, there's nothing else. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Dean combed my hair with his fingers and pecked my lips softly, "I think that could be arranged… but only if you make it up to me."

"Oh yeah?" I clarified while raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Yeah," he confirmed before he leaned in and placed a deeper kiss on my lips. We both completely ignored the fact that we weren't alone outside.

"Ahem… ahem!" Crowley attempted to interrupt us by clearing his throat loudly a couple of times.

"You might as well just forget about it. Once those two start, wild horses couldn't tear them apart. Why don't we go and tell Cas and Bobby about Niveus?" Sam offered while pointing the demon away from our heated, loving contact.

I pushed back on Dean's chest and panted in a few excited breaths so that I could defend myself further. "Seriously Dean… I didn't mean… to keep… that… from you."

"I know, I know," he placed a soft peck on my lips. "So we have a lead on Death and Pestilence's version of a late inning rally, how about we go see what everyone else is thinking our next step should be?"

"Alright… so now we're going to try for a shut out then," I agreed as I interlaced the fingers of my right hand with his left as we walked back to the house.

When we got back to the front stairs, everyone was there talking solemnly in a group and did not see us approaching them.

"Or… everybody on your feet 'cause the count is oh and two!" I joked a little too loudly as we got even closer to the group. Dean and I had been comparing our favorite baseball sayings, particularly the ones that were used for a comeback from behind win. However, our joking about anything seemed less appropriate now that we had almost rejoined the group.

Dean was the first to notice that I had attracted the attention of a confused audience and we both straightened up slightly as we made our final approach.

"Nice to see you two could detach your faces long enough to help us out with stopping the Apocalypse," Crowley commented sarcastically.

I diverted my gaze to the ground in response to his scolding. Dean however, glared at the demon and looked like he was going to lay into him with an angry comeback, but Sam thankfully jumped in as peace keeper once again.

"We were thinking that we could split up. You know, three of us take care of Niveus and the other three go after Death," he interjected quickly.

I swallowed hard as I heard our options; _Face a Horseman or a bunch of demons. Hello rock and oh… hello hard place._

Dean could feel the sweat beading on the palm of my hand, so he turned away from the others and held my cheek to ask, "Lay? What's going on in that head of yours?"

I snorted in a laugh then replied, "Horseman or demons? Could I have a third choice?"

"Lay…" he started to say with an overly protective tone.

"No, it's fine Dean. I really don't care which one I face so long as I'm facing it with you," I interrupted while holding his hands in mine firmly.

"Okay then…what do we know about Niveus' warehouse?" Dean asked the four men who were watching our exchange as he fell into his role as the leader.

"Well… I just got a message on my phone saying that Toby emailed me something about the warehouse. Addy, do you think that he might know anything specific about its layout?" Sam asked as he put his phone back into his pocket.

"There's only one way to find out. Do you have your laptop handy Sam?" I questioned as he and I started up the stairs into the house.

"Yeah, of course. But how would Toby get his hands on the blueprints to the warehouse," Sam inquired as he opened the front door for me.

"Honestly Sam, I don't ask… that kid could probably hack into his school's server to change his grades if he ever failed a test," I replied lightheartedly.


	22. It's Time to Leave

"Pst… hey… Lay… are you hungry," I heard Dean quietly asking into my ear.

I rolled my head off the back of the passenger side seat of the Impala and stretched my arms forward while yawning loudly.

"What? Oh man… did I fall asleep on you?" I ask slightly disoriented.

"Yeah, you did… but don't worry about it. So… Crowley's working on getting a final location for Death and I was thinking that we could grab a bite before we get into Chicago," he explained while pulling into the parking lot of a diner just off an exit of the highway.

"Yeah sounds good," I responded still sounding and feeling kind of groggy.

After he had pulled into a parking spot, I started to gather up some of my books and other materials along with my jacket when suddenly my door was opened from the outside. More than a little surprised, I jumped slightly and stared, completely stunned at Dean who stood at the end of the opened door. He then offered his hand to help me out of the car and I unexpectedly felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach, much like the ones I felt the night of my senior formal to which Dean was my escort so many years ago.

"Thanks Dean," I said almost meekly as I stepped behind him so that he could close the door.

After the vehicle was secure, he turned and took my hand as we walked into the diner and explained, "I figured that since we don't get a lot of time alone, you know just the two of us, that we might as well try to do this right for once."

I leaned in and kissed his cheek as he held the door open for me and then chuckled. "So you mean that that would make this like a real date or something, huh? Maybe I should have left all of the research in the car then."

"Yeah… maybe," he teased with a beautiful laugh.

Once we were seated and our meals were ordered, I pulled out a file folder and map to go over all of the information that we had for this particular target. I was still feeling uneasy about the thought of going up against a Horseman, so I wanted to make sure that we were thoroughly prepared for anything that he might have in store for us.

"So Death… it seems like he might work more like Famine… you know his presence is enough to have an effect on you… or wait, no, no he has to touch you? Damn why can't these damn people just write the damn facts? Why does it have to be so fucking flowery? Either way, touching him is bad… Shit! Dean, do you have heavy gloves with you because you know if you touch him… then that's it… Okay… leather gloves, we should find a hardware store or something so that we can pick up a pair… unless you kill him with his scythe first then maybe…" I narrated reading through my notes almost frantically. As I read I made lists and scribbled more notes to prepare and never once turned my eyes away from my paperwork as I spoke.

"Lay… Lay, relax. It'll be fine. I've got the thing and I'll make sure that we make it work," he replied evasively as our meals were delivered by our waitress.

"Yeah, I know… I know… but Dean, we're talking about Death… THE Death. I've already lost you twice and I really don't know if my body would be able to handle it if I lost you for a third time," I stated simply as I stabbed the lettuce of my salad without actually intending on taking a bite.

"I'm sorry about that… wait… what? Twice? I thought you only knew about the last time… you know with me and Sam," Dean responded somewhat startled before devouring a quarter of his cheeseburger in one bite.

"Well… way back when, despite my feeble protests, Bobby made sure to keep me up to date in his not so subtle way about everything that was going on with you and Sam. I think he was hoping to bridge the gap between us at some point. After your deal was up, I spent a weekend with Bobby so that we could commiserate together. If I recall correctly we went through nearly a full case of Wild Turkey in those three days," I narrated to my salad. "It took me over a month before I could go back to the Connors because I knew that as soon as I saw Toby I would completely breakdown again and I couldn't put them through that. So I drank… A LOT… anywhere I could find someone that would foot the bill."

"Oh my God Lay… I didn't know. Man… I'm so sorry," Dean replied remorsefully as he finished his burger.

"You're sorry for what Dean? Saving your brother's life? I could never be mad at you for that, so you really don't need to apologize… but let's try our damnedest to keep that from happening again anytime soon, okay?" I said with a weak half smile before I stabbed a piece of chicken and dropped my fork onto my plate.

As I pushed my plate of food away, completely untouched because I was too nervous to eat, Dean reached over the table and held my hand. I stared at him with a sad smile while he maintained the steady gaze and offered his own warm, loving, encouraging grin.

"Well, if you two are finished breaking up now, I have the address of the location where Death is hiding himself right now," Crowley announced as he appeared beside Dean and helped himself to a few fries on Dean's plate.

I attempted to pull my hand off the table, but Dean kept a firm hold on it as he ran his thumb over my knuckles. Crowley kept his eyes focused on Dean's plate of fries while the two of us glared angrily at him. He was blissfully ignoring the effect that his statement had on both of us.

I was opening my mouth to tell the demon where he could shove the information that he had learned (despite my earnest desire to help Dean and Sam), but our waitress returned and exclaimed in surprise, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize that you had someone else join you. Can I get you anything, darlin'?" She asked Crowley pleasantly.

"We'll just take the bill," I replied shortly, still not taking my eyes of the demon that was making himself comfortable across the table from me.

"Oh… alright then," she responded sounding somewhat taken aback by my now standoffish attitude.

Once the three of us were alone again, Crowley seemed to tire of Dean's food and wiped his hands on a napkin while he looked up between the two of us saying, "Well now that we have all of that taken care of, here's the address where you'll find our friend is having his party. I think that I'll just meet you two there because… well I'd rather not have to work at keeping my food down while you two exchange moony eyes during the drive over there."

Just before the waitress returned with the bill, he disappeared without another word. She didn't seem fazed by his departure and remained quiet, possibly hoping her missing him in the first place didn't cost her a generous tip.

When I motioned to get my wallet out of my jacket pocket, Dean threw me a cautioning stare and firmly stated, "If you pull out your wallet, I'm going to break your hand."

My eyes shot up to meet his and he smirked saying, "This is a real date, remember? That would traditionally mean that the guy pays."

"Oh… sorry. I just figured that the little demon interruption made that proposal null and void," I commented bitterly as I turned my attention to bundling our research instead of seeking out my wallet.

Dean quickly pulled out some money and placed it on the table so that he could swoop over to my side of the table to help me back into my jacket. After he thought that I was comfortable, he passed me the pile of research material to carry back out to his car.

"Just try to forget about him Lay. We have the address now, so it's almost over," Dean kindly instructed while taking my free hand to walk back to the Impala.

"Dean… almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and shit fights. You know that he won't be out of our lives completely until Bobby has his soul back," I responded despondently and somewhat distracted.

"Wow! Aren't you a 'Gloomy Gus'?" Dean half-heartedly joked. "You seriously cannot let him get to you Lay, okay? You just can't because then he wins no matter what."

"Sorry… I'll try not to…" I offered with a small grin as he stepped in front of me to open my door. "So… the warehouse… umm, it looks like it's on the outskirts of town, so it shouldn't take us too much longer to get there," I explained with a more hopeful tone in an attempt to change the topic while my body was separated from Dean's with the door of his black beauty.

"Good to hear… so is it far from the highway?" He clarified as he started the car.

I double checked a map that I had and smiled more weakly than I intended while I answered, "Nope… it's literally right off the highway. It should be super easy to find."

"So… does that map show you if there are any hardware stores along the way?" He questioned with a mildly teasing tone.

"What? No," I responded looking up at him from the map and then staring at him as if he had sprouted a second head since he posed his question.

"But… you were the one that insisted when we were at the diner…" he commented sounding equally confused.

"Oh… that. Well I plead temporary insanity, so no more taking suggestions from me," I interrupted in an attempt to ease his mind. "You've taken on three Horsemen already without my asinine commentary, so you'll be just fine," I finished confidently as I turned my attention back to the map and reached out with my left hand to turn up the volume of the stereo and whatever 'classic rock' song Dean had playing on his cassette tape.

" _ **Toby! Toby! Slow down Buddy! If I lose you, your mom and dad will kill me! Now here… take my hand and pretend like yours is super glued to mine, okay?" I instructed once we got to the edge of the parking lot.**_

" _ **I'm sorry Addy… but the ball park is SO close!" He insisted eagerly while tugging on my arm with all of his might to lead me towards the massive lights of Wrigley Field. "Come on Addy! We're gonna miss it if you don't hurry up!"**_

" _ **Toby, I promise, we won't miss a thing. The first pitch of the game isn't for another hour and a half. Heck, we'll even be able to catch the end of the Phillies BP Buddy, I promise!"**_

_**With Toby's enthusiasm, we made it to our gate in record time. I was barely able to pull out our tickets from their safe home of the inner lining of my jacket before the excitable seven year old I had with me was ready to crash the turnstile.** _

" _ **Welcome to Wrigley Field!" The elderly attendant greeted us upon our arrival.**_

" _ **Thanks! This is my first game!" Toby announced without having to be persuaded.**_

_**I was pushing through the metallic barrier and was about to admonish the young boy because it appeared that he was going to take off again. Once I was through I had to smile because instead of running around haphazardly, he caught a glimpse of the immaculately manicured green and brown field and he was instantly frozen in stunned amazement. I stepped up beside him and once again engulfed his hand in mine which made him turn his eyes up towards my face with his mouth agape.** _

" _ **Come on Buddy. Let's go find our seats and then we'll get something to eat. Does that sound okay to you?"**_

" _ **Uh huh," he replied while all of his senses were still overwhelmed by the sights and sounds of the Major League ballpark.**_

_**As we both passed the concession and souvenir stands, Toby started to eagerly request that I purchase one of these, then one of those, then this and then that.** _

" _ **Toby… Buddy! There is NO WAY that you could eat that much food, no matter how hard you try! Okay… how about we stop here? What would you like to take home with you Buddy?"**_

" _ **A HAT!" He nearly shouted, but after a moment he looked up and added in a much more polite tone. "I'd really like a hat, please and thank you."**_

_**The college aged vendor chuckled as he passed a child sized ball cap over the counter to Toby. As soon as it was in the young boys hands, he bent the brim and put it on his head.** _

_**Toby looked up at me under the brim of his new cap and exclaimed, "Thank you!" to myself and the vendor, nearly simultaneously.** _

" _ **Okay, so Buddy, our seats are just down this way. Now I have your baseball in my backpack, did you and to try to get a couple of autographs at all?"**_

" _ **YES! Please? Let's go and try Addy!" He replied while pulling me through the concourse.**_

" _ **Addy, what number are we again?" He questioned over his shoulder.**_

" _ **We're 1-3-0 Buddy."**_

" _ **1… 3… 0… 1… 3… 0… 1… 3… 0…" Toby repeated as we walked with him checking each and every sign on the aisles to make sure we didn't miss our seats.**_

_**When we finally reached our section, Toby looked up at me with his signature wounded puppy begging look. I immediately replied (even before he could whine), "Go ahead Buddy. Watch out for other people and remember if you can't see me, I can't see you."** _

_**He then sprinted down the stairs as quickly as his little legs could take him. He stopped at the bottom and turned around to make sure that I was still following with a huge smile on his face when he had confirmation that he could still see me. At the bottom he then politely asked the usher if it would be okay for him to go closer to the field. The usher hesitated for a moment to ensure that the young child wasn't alone.** _

_**I caught up to the two of them and heard Toby explaining, "No sir, I promise Addy is right behind me. Please?"** _

_**The usher and I exchanged smiles and he answered, "Yes you may go down, but once batting practice is over, I'll have to ask that you go back up to your seats."** _

" _ **Yes sir, we will! I promise!" Toby exclaimed as he grabbed my hand once again to pull me towards the visitor's dugout.**_

" _ **Do you think we CAN get an autograph?" He asked as he stood on his tip toes to see over the dugout.**_

_**I handed him his baseball then lifted him up onto the lip of the railing so that he could see better and answered while tickling him, "We'll try our best… but who could say no to you?"** _

_**We watched as the players ran through a variety of drills and some of the hitter showed off their power by driving a few balls into the bleachers beyond the outfield. Since we were by the visitor's dugout, there were fewer autograph hounds which made it easier for Toby to get a few players to sign his baseball. As we walked back to our seats, I pulled out a clear plastic bag from my backpack, wrapped the ink stained leather ball and tucked it safely away in my bag.** _

_**Toby found it difficult to sit still in his seat until a hotdog vendor came down the aisle and I forced him to sit still while he ate the ballpark's version of dinner. After he was finished eating, the game started and he was completely mesmerized and thankfully no longer restless and antsy.** _

" _ **Hey, Toby… watch number 6 over at first. See how he watches the pitcher and changes his position ever so slightly as the pitch is released? That's what you have to remember to do when you're playing."**_

" _ **Uh huh," he replied, although I'm fairly certain he didn't actually hear what I had said.**_

" _ **Starting him young, huh?" The fan to my right asked jovially.**_

" _ **Why not? Never too young to start learning the basics I say," I responded nonchalantly with a shrug before sharing a laugh with the father of two.**_

" _ **Addy! Did you see that! That was so cool!"**_

" _ **Yeah I saw it Buddy. But Toby… we don't want our players to strike out," I explained softly as the Cubs batter walked back to the dugout with his head hanging down shamefully.**_

" _ **Oh… sorry…" he replied sadly when he realized his mistake while staring at his hands in his lap.**_

" _ **Don't be sad Buddy, it's okay to appreciate good pitching. Hey… did you want some cotton candy?"**_

_**His eyes immediately lit up as he started to nod vigorously. Once he was finished devouring the blue confection, I pulled out some wet wipes from my backpack so that I could help him clean his sticky hands and face. The dad next to me chuckled and commented about how I seem to have everything and anything in my backpack that a parent would need while out with their kids. I shared a laugh with him and shrugged saying something about being used to having to be prepared for anything.** _

" _ **Addy! Addy! Did you see THAT?" He nearly shouted as his eyes followed the path of a mammoth home run that was sailing out of the field. "I know he's not a Cub, but still… WOW!" He continued in a quieter tone.**_

" _ **You're right…that is awesome. You know all about Ryan Howard, right?"**_

_**Toby shook his head, allowing his eyes to leave the field and look at me while I quietly explained to him who the ball player was.** _

" _ **He's on his way to being this year's MVP."**_

" _ **Really? Awesome!" He exclaimed quietly as he produced a small fist that I bumped lightly with my own.**_

_**By the eighth inning, Toby had curled up onto his seat with his head on my arm and was sleeping soundly. It appeared that the Cubs weren't going to mount a comeback, so I gathered up our belongings and placed Toby's new hat into my bag before heaving the straps onto my shoulders. I twisted in my seat while I awkwardly tried to pick him up without disturbing the fans around us. My attempt elicited a few chuckles and more than one 'Don't worry, you won't block anything good.' So I stood up, the dad beside me held onto my backpack while I picked up the small boy with ease while saying 'Thanks'. Once I was in the aisle, I retrieved my backpack and once again heaved the straps onto my shoulders.** _

_**As I buckled Toby into his seat, he tightened his grip around my neck and groggily said, "Thanks Addy that was so much fun! Merry Unbirthday."** _

_**I chuckled and kissed his cheek and replied, "Merry Unbirthday to you too Buddy."** _

"… here? Lay! Did you hear me? Lay!"

"Pardon?" I asked, still not actually listening while I stared out the passenger side window completely lost in my happy memories.

"Do I turn off here?" Dean asked slowly and loudly to ensure that I heard him properly.

"Huh? Oh… umm…" I tried to stall while I checked the map and the next sign at the side of the highway. "No, not yet. It's the next exit up ahead and then you take a right at the first intersection. Sorry Dean," I finished apologetically as I refolded the map and placed it on the seat between us.

Dean reached over and squeezed my thigh saying, "It's alright. But, is everything okay? You were a million miles away the entire trip."

"Oh… sorry… I… uhh I just…" I trailed off as I took in the familiar sights of the approaching city with a small grin tugging at the corner of my mouth.

"You're just worried about facing Death?" He asked with loving concern as he ran his hand lightly up and down my thigh.

I turned my head to look at him, held his right hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of his fingers.

"No… well yes… but no… I was just thinking about Chicago and all of the good memories I've made in this town."

We laced our fingers together and I kissed his hand again before holding it tightly between both of my hands.

"A lot of good memories in Chicago? I don't remember hanging out with you here," he teased while not being able to hide a mild tone of true sadness.

I caught his eye as his bottom lip protruded into a beautiful pout. I then finally realized that he was not aware of my annual tradition with Toby to celebrate both of our birthdays in Chicago at Wrigley Field. Since we were both born during the off season, we took turns each season choosing a series we wanted to watch and called it our "Unbirthday". Our trip normally coincided with Bill and Maureen's wedding anniversary, so part of my gift to them each year was a weekend alone to enjoy time together.

With my free hand, I loosened my seatbelt so that I could lean over and kiss his cheek. I then trailed a few soft pecks across his jaw to his ear and he let out a soft moan of contentment.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Dean," I whispered softly, letting my lips lightly brush across his ear and sideburn. I pecked his cheek again then sat back and shook my head saying, "I was thinking about Toby, you perv."

"Oh?" He questioned as he released his grip on my hand and reestablished loving contact with my thigh.

"Yeah… when he was seven I took him to his first ball game at Wrigley Field and for the past four years we've made it kind of a tradition to go for at least one series each summer," I explained as I stroked the back of his hand. "This year he asked if you could come with us too."

"Really?" He asked sounding genuinely surprised as he gently squeezed the inside of my left thigh.

"Yeah. But, it's supposed to be a surprise, so when he brings it up just pretend like I didn't say anything, okay? He'll kill me if he finds out that I ruined the surprise for you."

Suddenly I felt a large lump form in my throat when I heard my words echo in my mind.

 _Good job Addy… joke about being killed when you probably won't survive the day,_ I silently scolded myself.

I unconsciously let out a tearful sob as the thought struck me that there was a good chance that Dean wasn't going to make it out of this alive either, so there really wasn't any surprise to ruin. When Dean heard my sob, he had just turned onto the exit ramp and immediately pulled off onto the shoulder. Before I knew it, I was wrapped in his arms as he kissed my tear stained cheeks.

"Shh… I promise, I'll act surprised," he consoled me softly. "Please don't cry Lay, please?"

I sniffled and calmed myself as he held my face and brushed my tears away with his thumbs. I stared into his eyes and took a few more deep cleansing breaths.

"We're going to make it through this… all of it," he affirmed. "I promise."

"Okay… sorry. Nothing but positive thinking from now on," I vowed weakly as he held me tightly.

"Now what's the melodrama between you two? This is starting to feel like an episode of 'Dawson's Creek' for crying out loud," Crowley complained from the backseat of the Impala. "Now the warehouse is just right up ahead there… is anyone else interested in stopping the Apocalypse or am I the only one?"

"Fuck off," I mumbled to myself as Dean released me from his tight embrace.

Dean kissed me lightly on the lips and returned to his spot behind the wheel. He clenched his jaw to keep himself from getting into an argument with the demon as he continued down the road towards the warehouse that Crowley had pointed out.

I unlatched my seat belt and slid across the bench seat until my left hip was touching Dean's. He jumped slightly when I kissed his neck, but maintained steady control of the steering wheel.

"Just park over there and then we can walk. It'll be easier to catch Death and anyone that's with him off guard if we're on foot," I whispered into his ear before placing a few more soft embraces on his temple and hair line while also stroking his right thigh seductively with one hand and unbuttoning his shirt with the other.

Crowley heaved a disgusted sigh (thinking that I was whispering sweet nothings into Dean's ear) then retorted, "I'll just meet you two there."

As I nibbled at a spot on Dean's neck, I stole a glance at the back seat and sat back smiling smugly. I slid back to my side of the vehicle completely content that I had succeeded in ridding us of the demon, even if it was only for a brief moment.

Dean glanced at me sideways looking thoroughly amused as he pulled into the spot that I had directed him to saying, "Nicely played Miss Jones."

I was still smiling proudly as Dean slipped the car into park and before I could extract myself from the Impala, Dean slid over and engulfed my lips with his own passionately.

"Death can wait a little while longer," he breathlessly instructed as he worked at removing my jeans with ease.


	23. I'm Just Pleased to Meet You

As we walked towards the large white warehouse, I clung to Dean's right hand and arm, using him as a human shield, as we braced ourselves against the wind.

"Up ahead… big ugly building, Ground Zero. 'Horseman's stable' if you will. He's in there," Crowley enlightened us in his cool suave tone.

"How do you know?" Dean asked suspiciously as I squeezed his hand.

Crowley threw his hands down asking pointedly, "Have you met me? Cause I know…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Also the block is swarming with reapers. I'll be right back," he finished shortly before disappearing.

I gripped Dean's arm tightly and tried to remain calm. "Reapers? Doesn't that mean…"

He leaned down and kissed my lips in order to interrupt my speech. "It just means that we're in the right place. Relax."

"I am… actually after our little 'pit stop' back there, I'm feeling beyond relaxed. It's just nervous anticipation, that's all," I explained with a huge grin on my face.

"So my plan worked," he commented with his trademark self-assured smirk spreading across his face.

Before he could place another kiss on my lips we heard Crowley say, "Boy is my face red… Death's not in there."

Dean released me and turned his full attention to the demon saying, "Wanna cut the cute and get to the part where you tell me where he is?"

"Sorry, I don't know," Crowley announced without a hint of remorse in his voice as he made his way back towards the Impala.

Dean followed him and angrily said, "Whoa whoa whoa… you don't know?"

Crowley shrugged then stated in a mock, overly innocent tone, "Signs pointed… I'm just as shocked as you."

"Bobby sold his soul for this!" Dean screamed at the shorter man as he lunged towards him. I quickly got in between them and grabbed Dean's right arm that was poised in the ready position to strike the demon.

"Dean! Come on, hitting him won't help," I asserted calmly. "No matter how much fun it would be."

"Relax. All deals are soul back or store credit. We'll catch him in the next doomed city," Crowley stated calmly digging his hands deeper into his pockets.

I remained between the two of them trying desperately to keep Dean from attacking the demon.

"Millions, Crowley! Millions of people are about to die any minute!" Dean shouted at him over my shoulder as I pressed my hands on his chest to keep him in his place.

"True, so I strongly suggest we get out of here," Crowley concluded with a tone that was unaffected by Dean's anger.

"FUCK!" Dean cursed loudly before turning away from me.

I looked over my shoulder and quietly exclaimed "Bastard!" when I saw that the demon had pulled one of his characteristic (and increasingly annoying) vanishing acts.

"Damn it! Now what?" Dean asked, not necessarily directing the question at me as he stomped towards his car.

"We'll figure something out," I offered as I sprinted to follow him. "We know that he has to be here somewhere."

"Unless Crowley has just been sending us on a wild goose chase," he countered while starting the Impala.

"No… no way you're going to start that!" I asserted as I pulled out a note book with everything that Toby and I had found out so far about Death. "We must have missed something. He's a 'Horseman' right? And the others were in a Caddy and a Mustang… Cadillac and Mustang…"

"Yeah… so what?" He questioned bitterly.

"Dean they're also horses! Death rides a pale horse. I'm betting he'll be driving a white car named after a horse just like the other two. I don't know a white Mustang or a Pinto?"

"Wow because they're only be one of those in this teeny tiny town," he retorted sarcastically with an angry bite as he turned to drive to parts unknown to either of us.

I looked over at him and at first didn't know how to respond at first. Then my anger got the best of me and I replied with my own incensed tone, "WELL FUCK ME FOR TRYING!" I threw the notebook and notepad I was holding into the backseat behind Dean dramatically. "FINE! IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING SMART THEN YOU FUCKING COME UP WITH SOMETHING BECAUSE I'M DONE TRYING!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the windshield hyperventilating from my angry outburst. Dean reached over and touched my arm, but I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and moved closer to the door to distance myself from him.

"Lay… I'm sorry…" he started remorsefully as he attempted to reach out and touch me again.

"I have another lead," Crowley announced causing both of us to jump slightly in our seats. "Just follow this road to the second light then take a right."

I pulled my knees up and hugged them to my chest completely ignoring Dean's 'No shoes on the leather' rule. I turned in my seat so that my back was partially facing him and rest my head on the back of the seat and focused on the scenery outside to keep from crying. Dean followed Crowley's instructions, looking at me every so often with only his eyes to keep from being too obvious as his feelings of guilt became almost unbearable.

"Just pull right over here Champ," Crowley advised. As soon as the Impala was parked according to his wishes, the demon got out and Dean leaned over to touch my back between my shoulder blades.

"Lay… I'm sorry… I was a total ass. Please, please forgive me," he pleaded softly.

I didn't reply, but once again moved away from his touch and tightened my grasp around my own body after I smacked his hand away.

"Please Lay… come on," Dean continued until Crowley knocked on his window. "GIVE ME A SECOND!" He shouted at the man on the other side of the glass. "Please come with us," he tenderly implored in my direction.

"You and your new best friend go on ahead," I responded without turning to face him. "I'll look through my notes again for any other possibilities in case IT'S wrong about Death's location once again."

"Lay…"

"FUCK! Dean… just go!" I snapped sitting up and picking up a notebook that was at my feet.

Dean threw open his door and nearly knocked over Crowley in the process. After he slammed it shut, he looked down at the demon beside him. Before Crowley could make a snide remark Dean curtly instructed, "Let's go!"

"This way," Crowley responded as he remained uncharacteristically quiet and for once didn't provide any sarcastic commentary about the situation.

I sat at my spot and flipped through the notebook with the full knowledge that it didn't have the information that I was looking for… that notebook was bent from being angrily discarded somewhere in the backseat. It was lying open to a random page on an awkward angle as a result of me directing my wrath at it instead of Dean. I turned to reach over the front seat to retrieve it, but it sat just out of my reach, almost as if it was its own form of retaliation for my viciousness.

I heaved a defeated sigh as I got out of the car and slid onto the backseat. I stretched out across the bench seat on my stomach to read through its pages. After getting through the first half, I was feeling so dejected and tired that I just let the papers fall onto the floor. I curled my arms under my head as a make shift pillow and made myself comfortable in the fetal position. I just laid there mulling over all of the information we had up until this point, desperately hoping that I could come up with something from the information that I had read over so many times that I had lost count.

The passenger and driver's doors opened simultaneously, announcing Dean and Crowley's return. I knew that I should sit up and talk with them, but I just stayed as I was on my side.

 _Guess the demon isn't such hot shit after all,_ I thought self-righteously.

"So what? Call in a bomb threat? A thousand bomb threats? I mean, how the hell am I supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next ten minutes?" Dean asked either Crowley or me, I'm still not sure who he was addressing, but his tone immediately soften my heart because I could feel his desperation to save these strangers' lives.

By the time I sat up, Crowley had once again vanished, causing Dean to cry out "Come on!" in exasperation.

I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and quietly said into his right ear, "I'll call the Wrigley Building if you wanted to start with the Sears Tower. Maybe a few strategically placed threats would do the trick."

I placed my chin on the seat just behind his right shoulder while pressing my arms lightly around his chest in a makeshift hug. Dean raised his right hand and gently stroked my left arm. We both left out a heavy sigh at the same time and then chuckled at our synchronicity.

We sat like that for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. I shifted slightly after a while to make myself more at ease and I caught sight of Crowley motion from us towards 'Rinascita Pizzeria' to his left.

I lightly tapped Dean's chest before I sat back saying, "Dean… I think that Crowley is trying to get your attention over there."

Dean leaned closer to the windshield while Crowley continued to motion to the restaurant. It appeared that the demon standing on the sidewalk was also talking, but Dean and I lacked Superman's hearing abilities, so we had no idea what he was trying to tell us.

"What? I can't hear you!" Dean answered through the windshield. This elicited a soft chuckle from me because Dean was in fact doing the exact same thing that he was admonishing Crowley for doing.

"I said," Crowley repeated with mild annoyance as he was no seated in the front passenger seat. "'I found him.' Death… he's in there." He continued while pointing to the pizzeria that he had been standing beside no more than thirty seconds ago.

Dean looked back at me and I shook my head then mouthed, "Good luck. I love you." He nodded understanding that I wasn't able to go with him while he faced down Death. He seemed to also know that I was no longer staying because I was angry with him but because of my own insecurities.

He refocused his attention to Crowley and as he got out of the car asking, "Are you coming or…" When he looked back into the front seat and found the passenger seat empty, he finished to himself, "…not."

I slouched in my seat as I watched Dean cross the street and enter the restaurant. I closed my eyes and instinctively said a prayer, forgetting that God was no longer in Heaven and that I had my doubts that He was even listening to our requests anymore.

_Please Lord, keep him safe. Please? We…_

"Adelaide," Crowley's husky drawl interrupted my thoughts while he was now seated beside me in the backseat.

I shifted only my eyes to glare at him, seething at the thought of him being that close to me. "Don't call me that," I ordered through clenched teeth.

"Oh, sorry… Addy, I…" he attempted to continue pleasantly.

"Only my friends get to call me that," I interrupted with more bite.

"Okay…" he tried to recover slowly. "Lay…" he stated with an uncomfortable confused tone.

"Only DEAN is allowed to call me that!" I instantly corrected him before I grinded my teeth together.

"Well, fine! What am I supposed to call you then?" He questioned with an annoyed, exasperated tone as he abandoned any of his previous attempts at being cordial.

"YOU don't have to call me anything because WE have NOTHING to discuss," I informed him heatedly before opening my door to get out of the Impala and started to walk down the street.

As I made my way down the sidewalk, I wasn't surprised when the demon appeared at my side. His presence just made me increasingly annoyed at his persistence when I thought I had made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Adelaide, I just need to have a quick word with you," he explained calmly as he easily matched my pace.

"No you don't," I replied defiantly as I tried anxiously to seek out a place that I could go to get away from this person… demon, whatever you want to call him, that was trailing me so expertly.

A few feet in front of us there was a bit of a commotion out on the sidewalk. It looked like someone form a bakery had spilled the contents of a sack that he was carrying while he was in front of a neighboring jewelry store.

As we got closer I could hear, "I am so sorry ma'am. I'll make sure that I have this cleaned up as soon as I possibly can. I'm so so sorry."

"It's okay Lucky, I know that you didn't do this on purpose," a woman answered. She was immaculately dress in a well-tailored navy blazer and making knee length skirt. She continued with a soft smile on her face saying, "But the sooner the better."

When she looked up from the mess in front of her store, the clerk caught my eye and her smile shifted into one of a professional salesperson that was attempting to entice a potential buyer to examine their wares. "Good afternoon," she greeted warmly.

"Good afternoon," I replied as I stepped closer to her. I looked down at the large puddle of dry white granules that had accumulated on the ground in front of the entrance to her store. "Oh, my… that's quite the spill. Is that… flour?"

"No ma'am, it's all kosher salt," the bakery worker who had been identified as 'Lucky' answered as he attempted to lift the now quarter full burlap sack off the ground.

I couldn't help but offer a small smile as I felt pity for the male in his late teens because each time that he moved the sack, more salt would pour out despite his efforts to keep it in the bag. My eyes looked down at the ever growing white spot and my smile grew and become much brighter when I saw that the entry way to the store was completely obstructed by salt. The shop keeper couldn't watch the scene any longer without becoming more agitated, so she turned and walked back to a counter near the back wall.

"Okay… well, as I was saying," Crowley started as he gently grabbed my left arm to lead me away from the store and the offending salt puddle.

Without saying a word, I snatched my arm back, pushed him away slightly and stepped over the salt into the store. Once inside I looked back at the demon while he smirked at me looking… impressed? He actually seemed to be impressed that I had found a way to finally get away from him. Before he was able to melt into the growing crowd, I couldn't resist sticking my tongue out at him like a defiant child that was finally able to get their way.

The sales woman was moving some merchandise from one display to another and seemed more than slightly surprised to see me in the store when she turned around.

"Oh! Hello," she nearly cried out unable to hide her shock. "Is there something that I can help you find today?" She questioned, regaining her composure in record time.

A few pendants behind the glass display caught my eye, so I stepped closer to them asking, "Is that a 'Saint Sebastian' medallion?"

Sensing that I might actually be wanting to make a purchase, she swiftly moved behind the counter to investigate which pendant I had referred to. As she opened the back of the case she replied, "Yes, it is… we carry them in a variety of sizes and in both white and yellow gold. Would you like to take a look at it?"

"Umm… no," I replied still staring at the selection as I tried to find the one that I wanted. I furrowed my brow in frustration when I didn't immediately locate it, so I asked hesitantly. "Do you have a 'Saint Hubert' medal by any chance? I've been trying to find one in white gold for a while now."

"Hmm… I know I have one in 24 karate yellow gold… does it have to be white gold?"

"Umm, yeah… I really want to get one exactly like his," I replied allowing the significance and sentimentality of the object to be reflected in my tone.

"Are you replacing one for a loved one?" She questioned softly as she continued to look through her inventory.

"Kind of… you see my Poppy, uhh my Granddad, had one. He told me once when I was younger that he wanted me to have it when he passed…" I explained as I looked at some chains that were hanging from a hook.

"But you didn't receive it?" She asked with genuine interest and concern.

I looked over and her and when our eyes met, I was struck with the realization of how open I had been with this complete stranger. Under normal circumstances, I would have been embarrassed by being so honest and would have attempted to retract my statement, but in this moment I felt uncharacteristically safe. Hell, the world might literally end tomorrow and I hadn't told any living soul this story, so what harm could it really do?

"No, he didn't will it to me so his son made sure that he was buried with it. I've been looking for over ten years now to find another one but it seems to be kind of rare."

"Uncles," she exclaimed quietly in a show of solidarity.

"No, my father," I corrected her somewhat absentmindedly.

She simply offered a shocked "Oh" as her response to that revelation. We then continued looking at our respective cabinets in silence for a while. I wandered from case to case and somehow was staring at an array of exquisite engagement rings. My dream from the other night came flooding back and I couldn't help but beam at the feelings that it evoked.

 _Adelaide Winchester,_ I thought to myself. _Mrs. Dean Winchester._

"Miss? Miss?" I heard a voice calling through the fog of contentment.

"Hmm? Yes… oh sorry," I replied prying my eyes away from the rings under the glass.

"Is this what you were looking for?" She inquired while presenting me a 3/4 inch diameter, 18 karate white gold pendant on matching chain. The medallion had the familiar wolf, musket and sword embossed on one side of it and the Saint watching a buck in the woods on the other side.

"Yes! That's it exactly!" I exclaimed, gingerly claiming the chain and pendant to take a closer look at it. As I lovingly ran my thumb over the surface, still not believing that it had finally been found, I looked up at her and asked, "I know I might be pressing my luck, but would you happen to have a second one?"

"I'll double check for you, but yes, I believe that I might," she answered as she turned to walk back to the first display cabinet. "Here it is. May I ask for whom the second one is intended?"

"My son," I blurted out before my brain had a chance to formulate a convincing lie. "Umm…" I tried to recover by changing the topic as quickly as possible. "I'll also need a chain for it… he's just finishing elementary school so…"

"Of course, something sturdy that will last him for a while. This one is quite popular and can last him into adulthood. Does he know that his Great Granddad had one like it?" She probed further as she passed me the chain to help me make my final decision.

"Yes, he's heard stories about it because it is kind of representative of the family business… well, Poppy was in the Army, but my Nana always called him a hunter."

She smiled warmly, nodding as she reclaimed both medallions to start ringing up my purchases. I stood with a matching smile as my eyes wandered outside where Lucky was still trying to clean up the mess that he had made at the entryway. Just beyond him, Crowley walked by with his hands in his pockets. When our eyes met, I rolled mine and shook my head as my previous feelings of annoyance threatened to overtake me.

"Will that be all for you today?" The clerk asked while looking like she was prepared to complete the transaction.

"Umm…" I started to answer as my gaze focused back on her briefly. I quickly looked outside again and saw Crowley passing the front window, again. "No. Actually, could I take a look at your rings over there?"

She raised an eyebrow, possibly unintentionally, then looked down at my left hand and stated, "Oh… so you're in the market for an engagement ring?"

I felt my cheeks burn hot and sheepishly replied, "Well, not exactly. It's more like I'm hoping to be in the not too distant future."

When she saw my embarrassment, she decided not to delve too much more deeply into the subject of me already mentioning a child and her tone became more comforting as she asked, "Do you know what style you are looking for?"

She then started pulling out rings so that I could start trying them on one by one. The entire time I was there I completely forgot that at that same time Dean was having a show down with a Horseman trying to obtain a ring of his own and I allowed myself to get completely lost in the moment. Unbeknownst to me and the clerk, Crowley stood at the window watching me with an almost sinister smile on his face. Had I notice that we had an audience, I probably would have felt differently, but as it was I felt genuinely happy.

"Oh my… it's perfect. Do you keep it in stock?" I asked excitedly.

"This designer is actually an in-house designer, so yes we normally do stock it."

We continued to admire the ring on my finger when we heard **I'll love you more with every breath Truly Madly Deeply Do…**

"Oh shit… oh I mean, shoot! Sorry… I have to take this," I apologized as I pulled my phone out. I knew from the ring tone exactly whose voice I would hear on the other end, so I answered saying, "Sorry… I'm so sorry…"

" _It's okay, but where'd you go?"_

"Sorry, I just needed some air, so I went for a walk. I'll head back right away."

" _Oh, okay. I'll see you in a bit then."_

"Two minutes tops! Sorry!"

I turned back to the clerk and she offered an understanding smile. "That will be 109.74 for the necklaces."

I exchanged my cell phone for my wallet and pulled out some cash to complete the transaction. "Thank you so much again. These mean so much to me, you have no idea," I commented as I placed the black velvet bags into my jacket pocket.

"I'm more than happy to have been able to help."

As I put my wallet away in the inner pocket of my jacket, I heard a distinct sound of the sales woman clearing her throat. I looked up at her and she said, "I know it looks beautiful on your finger, but…" She trailed off staring down at my left hand.

"Oh geez… I wasn't… I'm sorry…I…" I stammered utterly embarrassed that I had forgotten to take the ring off as I frantically tried to take the engagement ring off my finger as fast as I could.

"It's alright. Actually, it happens more often than you would think," she offered warmly as I placed the ring in her hand. I hesitated for a moment and she held my hand in both of hers saying, "I'll see you when you come back. I'll make sure to help him so that he thinks it was his choice all along."

I looked up from our hands and hoarsely whispered, "Yeah… I'll see you."

After I left the store, I sprinted back to where Dean was waiting in the Impala. I hopped into the passenger's seat and inadvertently slammed the door because of my excitement. I could feel that my smile was spread from ear to ear before I knew it; I grabbed the sides of his head and planted an overly eager, somewhat clumsy and painful kiss on his lips.

"So? How'd it go? You're alive, so that seems more than positive!" I said as I sat back and buckled my seat belt.

"Yeah… it went better than planned," he answered cautiously and sounding slightly confused. "Umm… where were you?"

"Jewelry store. I found something that I've wanted to get for a really long time now. Did you get the ring?" I asked jovially as I pulled out one of the velvet bags from my pocket.

When Dean didn't answer right away, I turned to look at him. He swallowed hard and I thought that it looked like he might vomit.

"Dean… are you okay?"

"Maybe… but I'll show you mine if you show me yours," he replied nodding in the direction of my hands.

"This?" I answered as I untied the string and gently pulled out the chain to slowly reveal the necklace. "This is… wait… do you remember that pendant Poppy always wore?"

I passed the chain to him and his face softened considerably when he recognized it. I suppressed my desire to laugh when I noted that he exhaled audibly and sounded very relieved.

"Right… but I thought that he was going to give you his," he said as I bundled my hair so that he could place it around my neck.

"No, Sydney made sure that Poppy was buried with it. It took me until today to find one just like it," I explained with a soft, sad smile.

"Saint?"

"Hubert. Patron Saint of Hunters. Not that we're Catholic, but Poppy always said that it was good to have a reminder that something much more powerful than us was in control, so we just have to do our part to help them."

Dean smile and leaned over to softly kiss me. While our lips were locked, Dean reached into his jacket pocket. When he released himself from the embrace, he presented me with a flat top white gold ring with a white stone inlayed at the top. I reached my hand out to it, but kept from actually touching the metal and asked, "Is that it?"

"Yep… and also told me how to unlock the cage," Dean explained while placing it back into his pocket and kissing me deeply. I heard a _CLINK_ as he released me from my seatbelt.

Once I was free from the constraint of one of the only safety features of a classic muscle car, Dean roughly pulled my hips towards his waist.

"Dean!" I shrieked with surprise.

I was now lying under his weight, so Dean swept my hair off my shoulder and moved his warm embraces and bites down to my neck.

"Dean… Dean…" I tried to protest breathlessly.

He reached 'the spot' on my collarbone and soon the word 'Dean' turned into unintelligible mumbles. As soon as his touch elicited nothing more than excited moans, Dean moved his lips up to my ear.

"I'm sorry, you were right Lay… he did drive a white Cadillac."

Once the statement was completed, he instantaneously moved to the far end of the car. My eyes shot open and I sat up straight, thankfully I'm too short to actually hit my head on the roof.

"I knew it!" I exclaimed as I punched his right arm with full force.

"OW! I already apologized," he whined while rubbing his arm vigorously trying to relieve the feeling of it throbbing painfully.

I straightened myself up a bit and muttered, "Asshole! Try to butter me up so that I won't hurt you!"

I continued to grumble quietly to myself and when Dean felt that I was at the point where I was reveling in having been right, instead of wanting to beat him bloody, he slid over once again to my side of the car. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulder and he kissed my cheek.

"I seem to recall a demand of fucking you for trying," he whispered seductively.

"Dean…" I sighed as I shifted in a feeble attempt to get him to release me. "We should be getting back to Bobby's… plus this is really kind of public… and I still have an indent in my back from earlier," I finished with a whimper.

Dean leaned back and jutted his bottom lip out to pout. I moved in and kissed, then held his lip between my teeth to pull out a soft moan out of his throat.

"Now, if that was supposed to be part of your apology to me, then hold it in and you can show me how sorry you are when we get back to the Panic Room," I explained as I sat back and refastened my seat belt.

He finally followed suit and chuckled, "You always could restrain yourself."

I smiled coyly and held only my Saint Hubert medallion in my right hand. In all honesty, it was all I could do not to let him ravish me right then and there, but it truly was too public for my liking since we were on a busy Chicago street.

As we drove, I daydreamed while watching the city's skyline fade away while the usual soundtrack played in the Impala.

"Hey Dean?" I questioned with enthusiasm.

"Yeah Lay?" He answered as he started looking for a secluded spot off the highway thinking that I had changed my mind.

"Do you think that if you put on Death's ring that you would be able to kill people just by touching them?"

"What? Is that what you've been thinking about?"

I simply shrugged and said, "Yeah, so… you have to admit that would be kind of cool."

Dean let out a hearty laugh and replied, "Remind me not to let you play with the Horsemen's rings. I'd hate to see the fun diseases you would infect me with while wearing Pestilence's."

I snorted indigently and shook my head to playfully retort," I think Famine's would be more amusing… yeah… getting to see how much you want me," I finished with a raise of my eyebrow. "That would be… mmm… fun."

He looked over at me then hammered down the accelerator saying, "You tease! Just you wait until we get back!"


	24. You Never Should Have Come

I smiled with my head resting on Dean naked chest, listening to the low hum of the fan in the ceiling of the Panic Room. After a few rounds of mind-blowing sex, Dean promptly fell asleep and his soft snore was now competing with the sound of the ceiling fan.

I ran my hand over his torso and traced the outline of each muscle wishing that we could in fact lay like this forever. No more Devil, no more demons, just me being held protectively in the arms of the man I loved so dearly. I was mildly stunned that I seemed to only take one touch from Dean and I could feel calm and reassured about our future.

At this point I was feeling so content that I even let my mind wander back to the drive home from Chicago and the conversation that still left a foul taste in my mouth.

_**GRRRR!** _

_**Dean snickered then looked over at me as he sped down the highway. "Was that you?"** _

_**I rubbed my stomach and whined, "Yeah… I think I forgot to eat something today."** _

" _ **No wonder you're so cranky," he mumbled thoroughly amused at my distress.**_

" _ **What was that? Listen here Mr. Winchester, if you're looking to sleep in a cold bed all alone tonight, you just keep that up," I replied with a tight grip on my stomach then whimpering from my hunger pains.**_

" _ **No… no, you misheard me. What I said was, 'I think I see a diner up ahead'," he responded quickly as he placed his right hand over my hand that was holding my jacket in a death grip.**_

_**I stroked his hand and shook my head but let his comment slide for the time being. Dean then pulled into the parking lot of a small rundown diner. When I moved my hand to unlatch my seatbelt, he stilled my movements.** _

" _ **I'll run in and get something to go. That way we can get back to Bobby's that much sooner," he explained before kissing my cheek and jumping out of the car.**_

_**I watched him run into the building and chuckled softly at how cute he looked. I knew that he was rushing in so that we could get to have our fun without many further delays and it just seemed so uncharacteristically endearing, like a child eager to open presents on Christmas Day.** _

" _ **Adelaide," Crowley's voice came from behind me.**_

" _ **FUCK OFF!" I shouted as I motioned to open my door.**_

_**CLINK** _

" _ **Adelaide, I just need five minutes of your time."**_

_**I unbuckled myself then slid towards the driver side door. Another CLINK sounded as the driver's door lock secured itself closed.** _

" _ **Adelaide, I'm a demon… I can read your mind, I have powers," he explained fairly condescendingly.**_

_**I refused to look back at him, returned to my seat and said, "Fine. Five minutes… not a second more, so I suggest you make the most of it."** _

" _ **Thank you," he replied, now seated behind the wheel. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened with Pacer."**_

_**My head turned at break-neck speed as I angrily responded, "Who told you about that? That has NOTHING to do with you!"** _

" _ **Again, DEMON! After you stormed out on Bobby and me, he told me the name and I was able to get the rest of the details from both of your thoughts."**_

" _ **How dare you? No one and I mean NO ONE besides me knows the details of what happened in that room. You bastard! You have no right!" I yelled at him as I opened the glove box.**_

" _ **Sam has the knife and Dean left the Colt at Bobby's," he commented calmly.**_

" _ **Stop reading my mind and get to the fucking point!" I directed with even more venom as I slammed the glove box closed and threw my hands up in exasperation.**_

" _ **Okay… well I also know about your Aunt Maureen. I can help with that you know," he stated coolly.**_

" _ **How does that have anything to do with Pacer?" I questioned feeling genuinely curious but still sounding quite enraged.**_

" _ **I'll get to that. Now, Adelaide, do you know anything about Pacer?" I shook my head in complete silence. "Well, after little Sammy exterminated Alistair, Pacer was positioning himself to become Hell's number one torturer. He would rarely come topside so that he could perfect his art, but still there isn't a soul in Hell or on Earth that has survived his handiwork. That is until you came along… that makes you very unique."**_

" _ **Really? No one?" I clarified through a whisper because I was almost too stunned to speak.**_

" _ **Not a one. He has… sorry HAD a knack for being able to tailor his sessions to not only physically damage his subjects, but mentally as well. He wanted to make sure that his victims would never forget him if they ever survived."**_

" _ **Well he's dead now, so why are you telling me all of this? Why are you trying to mess with my head?" I asked nearly in tears.**_

" _ **I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or remind you of that. I felt that you needed to know that you are the strongest person that I have ever met and that was the best way to illustrate that point to you. Now... I also would like to make you an offer."**_

_**"An offer?"** _

" _ **That soul of yours, who doesn't want to get their hands on it? I just wanted to be the first in line for it."**_

" _ **Pardon? You want my soul because I survived twenty four hours with Pacer?" I asked as I finally turned to look at him.**_

" _ **Well I want your soul either way, but because of your encounter with Pacer, I'm willing to make you a one-time offer. I'll heal your sweet Auntie Maureen and then I get to collect your soul… when you die naturally. No time limit, no hell hounds."**_

_**He smiled warmly and raised an eyebrow. I felt my face contort and my brows furrow as I contemplated his terms. Maureen would be healed and we would no longer have to worry about a relapse ever again and my soul would remain in tact until I was meant to pass naturally. What could be wrong with that?  
** _

_**His smile grew wider as I weighed my options and then I turned my eyes up to his face. His self-assured smile completely pissed me off and helped me to once again reclaim my clarity.** _

" _ **No… no… she wouldn't want to be saved that way," I replied in a strong and surprisingly calm tone.**_

" _ **Are you sure?"**_

" _ **I thought it was a one-time only offer… and yes, I'm more than sure. This sweet, sweet soul is mine and is definitely not for sale."**_

" _ **I'll give you one last chance darling," he responded as he reached out to touch my hair.**_

_**As he pet my head, I glared at him, grabbed his hand and bent it back violently (completely forgetting that such a move wouldn't really have any effect on a demon).** _

" _ **You should leave now," I cautioned in a low, severe voice.**_

 _**Without saying another word, Crowley disappeared. I sat back and relaxed slightly as I looked out the windshield, happily thinking,** _ **I'm not a victim… I'm a survivor.**

_**Dean exited the diner soon after the demon's departure. He was holding a paper bag in one hand and his partially eaten burger in the other. When he saw my smiling face, he quickened his pace en route to the Impala.** _

_**Once he was seated behind the wheel, he started to say something, but my lips landed on top of his before the words could be uttered.** _

" _ **Mmm… extra onions," I praised as I sat back.**_

" _ **Well if you wanted a burger so badly, all you had to do was ask you know. You really don't have to steal it right out of my mouth," Dean teased amorously.**_

" _ **Sorry, but I couldn't wait. I'm famished."**_

" _ **Here you go," he announced as he presented me with my own bacon cheeseburger.**_

_**I nearly snatched it out of his hand and bit into it eagerly. "How'd you know?" I asked with my mouth still partially full.** _

_**Dean chuckled as he eased the Impala back towards the highway.** _

" _ **Well you used to always crave red meat after we had sex… and since you didn't eat lunch, or breakfast, I figured it would be the right choice."**_

_**I finished the last bite and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Mmm… it was perfect. Thanks. But… have you got any fries in that bag? You know to help me completely recharge for… you know?" I inquired seductively.** _

_**Dean swallowed hard, nodded and once again hammered down the accelerator to rush back to Bobby's.** _

Dean's arm was still wrapped warmly around my naked body as I let out a soft sigh.

_Well… I don't think I'm falling asleep anytime soon._

I kissed his tattoo to test how deeply he was sleeping and when he didn't stir, I carefully eased myself out of his arms. It was difficult to see in the dim lighting, so when I tripped over Dean's t-shirt and boxers, I quickly slipped them on to keep from disturbing him while I found my duffle bag.

"Why don't you come back to bed Lay?" Dean quietly called still half asleep.

I walked over and kissed him softly before responding, "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I just need to get some water. For some reason I'm feeling severely dehydrated. Now back to sleep you."

Dean reached over and pinched my right butt cheek, playfully demanding, "Hurry back. It's cold over here now without you."

I laughed softly as I continued on my path up the stairs. Once I made it to the kitchen, I eased a glass out of the cupboard, trying to make as little noise as I could. I then moved to the fridge and pulled out the bottle of milk, stared at it for a second then replaced it, opting instead to have a glass of water.

I rested my back on the edge of the sink as I downed the glass of water and from this vantage point I was able to catch a glimpse of Castiel sleeping.

 _Aww, he looks so serene, just like an angel_ , I thought to myself. The irony of the statement made me laugh and I nearly choked on the mouthful of liquid that I was swallowing.

"I'm surprised you had enough energy to make it upstairs," Sam's groggy sounding voice came from my left as he slipped a glass out of the cupboard.

"Pardon?" I asked quietly as I stepped to my right so Sam could fill his glass at the sink. He looked down at my empty glass after his was filled and motioned to silently ask if I wanted a refill.

When I nodded he filled my glass then replied, "You two were pretty hot and heavy by the time we got back… at least from what I heard." He smiled mischievously behind his glass before taking a sip.

"Oh my God! Sam!" I quietly exclaimed while smacking his arm. "You didn't… no you couldn't… hear us, could you?"

"The panic room isn't sound proof and you have quite a set of pipes on you," he explained as his cheeks started to rouge to the same shade of red as my own.

"Oh God… not again," I groaned as I placed my free hand over my face. I ran my hand down to my neck and gripped the seam of Dean's shirt that I was wearing. "Does that mean that Bobby… shit… and Cas? Did they…?"

"No," Sam answered sympathetically with a chuckle. "Bobby stayed outside and went for a walk as soon as we got back and Cas was out like a light once his head hit the pillow. I was up doing some research and umm other stuff, so I think I was the only one that was, you know, admitted to the show."

"Sam!" I cried out louder than I meant to before I continued in a hushed tone. "Oh man… you shouldn't have had to hear that. I thought that was why Dean liked the room so much. I'm so sorry Sam."

I placed my now empty glass in the sink and slumped against the counter with my head hung shamefully. Sam stepped closer to me and lifted my chin to look down at me with loving sympathy in his eyes.

"It's okay Addy. I'm a big boy," he said warmly as he pulled me into a hug. "And I know that Dean's no monk and that you're no nun."

I laughed softly against his toned chest then pushed back to reply, "Thanks for saying that Sam, but still…"

"No, really Addy… it's just good to hear him… uhh happy," he interrupted and finished kind of awkwardly. "And it's comforting to know that he'll have someone to take care of him… you know, after…"

We both left his thought unfinished and I squeezed him tightly saying, "I promise, we'll keep a watch on him for you."

I leaned back and placed my hand on his heart then started to pick at his buttons to avoid making eye contact saying, "So, I guess that means that you're going ahead with the plan to say yes then, eh?"

Sam held my hand then cupped my cheek with his other hand. "Yeah… it just seems… just is the best way to finish this, especially now that we have all of the rings."

"You don't have to defend your decision Sam, really you don't." I interrupted placing my hand over his that was still on my cheek. I stood up on my tip toes and pecked his lips a little more slowly than I should have to keep it platonic. "Thank you."

He chuckled quietly and replied, "Don't thank me yet, we still don't know if this is going to work or not."

"It'll work Sam, it'll work. I have absolute faith in you and Dean, so you shouldn't doubt yourself at all." I paused for a moment as I let it all sink in. "Man… so this is really happening… Well, I'm just glad that I finally got to meet you," I continued as I walked over to the fridge and pulled out two beers then met him at the small table.

"Really? I wish I could say the same thing, but Dad and Dean never talked about you. Come to think of it, I even worked with Sydney once and he never said a word about you either," he explained sheepishly before taking a sip from his bottle.

I snorted softly through a laugh and responded, "I think that's because John knew about Toby, but I made him promise not to say a word about my pregnancy to Dean because I knew I wasn't keeping him. I guess it was easier to say nothing about me than to explain who I was and why you would never meet me. As for Sydney… well I'm sure that his excitement at working with you guys trumped everything else, so he probably didn't want to ruin it with any talk about me."

We sat in the darkened kitchen drinking our beers in silence until I broke through the tranquility by laughing and saying, "There were a couple of times that I almost did introduce myself to you. After everything Dean told me about you, I really did want to meet you, but I chickened out every time."

"What? But… how did you know it was me?" He questioned with excited curiosity.

"Well after we literally bumped into each other outside of the Adobe Court Motel in Red Lodge, Montana, I finally had a face to put to the name in all of Dean's stories."

"Red Lodge… Red Lodge…" he mused as he tried to evoke the memory of that day. "Red Lodge… that's where we met Gordon for the first time. Shit! The motel… you had blood on your forehead," he finally recalled.

"Yep… not to mention a pretty nice goose egg too. I was so surprised by how nice you were to me even though I was a total stranger. That was until you reached the Impala… then I realized who you were and it all made perfect sense."

"Well, when I see a pretty girl rushing away from a motel room, still trying to get dressed in a frantic hurry, I tend to worry." He paused for a moment then recounted, "I caught a glimpse of the guy the next day. Man, he had a couple of the nastiest looking black eyes… I'm pretty sure you broke his nose."

"Bastard totally deserved it," I retorted lightheartedly then I tapped the neck of my beer bottle with Sam's triumphantly.

"So… you said that Red Lodge wasn't the only time that you saw us?"

"Nope… caught a glimpse of you guys a few times. Let's see… there was that one time in Cornwall, Connecticut, that place was all kinds of creepy… hmm and Maple Springs, New York. When I did see you guys… well when I saw Dean, I just took that as my cue to get the fuck out of Dodge. I wasn't ready to face him despite how much I wanted to meet you, so I made sure to just to take off when I knew I could do it and get out scot-free. But that changed after he, you know, umm died and all."

He nodded silently and smiled understanding that the thought of losing Dean forever finally allowed me to get over the animosity that had been felt between us.

"Wait! Did you call Bobby a while back after running into Gordon Walker to tell us something?"

I choked on my beer and after I recovered I responded quietly, "Yeah. That was the one and only time I ever tried to get a hold of Dean myself. But from the sounds of it, you guys had it all under control."

"Huh… so you did try to warn us. Dean was positive that Bobby was off his rocker. Man, how things have changed."

I finished my beer and got up to toss it in the trash. Once I got back to the table, I smiled to myself because I was finally eye-level with Sam. I held his shoulder to ensure that I could maintain eye contact with him as I said, "Sam? I honestly don't know how to thank you for what you are going to do for all of us. But, I promise you, I'll take care of Dean the best that I can… and we're going to find a way to save you. I promise if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to make sure you get out of the pit." I finished my statement by placing another soft kiss on his lips despite my inner-voice telling me not to.

He smiled and pulled me into a hug while he was still seated at the table. "Thanks Addy. But don't… don't worry about me. As long as you and Dean are together, that's all that I want." He leaned back and offered a sad smile in response to my confused look. "You two should just settle down and start a family… together this time."

"But Sam…" I attempted to protest as I pushed his hair out of his face so that I could more easily look into his eyes.

"I'm serious Addy, that's all that I want you guys to do," he interrupted with a firm, warm, loving tone. "No deals, no rituals, nothing to get me back. You two just live happily ever after and take care of that son of yours. Understand?"

"Sure… okay," I agreed hesitantly.

He pulled me close again and rested his head on my chest. I stroked his hair as I contemplated about what he had just made me promise.

_Me? Settle down and have a family? Could I do that? No… there's no way that Dean would agree to that. On the other hand, if Toby… no. But, if it's Sam's dying wish, then maybe?_

"And I think 'Victoria Mary' is a beautiful name," he commented with a slight hitch in his voice.

"What?" I questioned with tears brimming my eyes as I softly pushed him back to look at him.

"I'm just saying… when… or if, you start a real family with Dean, I think that would be the perfect name for your daughter," he explained as he brushed a tear away from my cheek.

I was too stunned to reply, so I just pulled him tightly to my body and squeezed him lovingly in my arms.

"You two should try to get some shut eye. Big day's coming up fast," Bobby's voice rang out from behind us.

I stepped back so Sam could stand up as he threw his bottle into the trash. "Will do Bobby… Good night you two," he replied while giving me another quick hug.

"Good night Sam."

I turned towards Bobby, hugged him quickly and said "Good night" to him as well before continuing in the direction of the basement stairs.

"And you should get that boyfriend of yours to sleep too… especially after the workout you gave him," he called out in a soft teasing tone.

I stopped in my tracks and without turning around replied sounding like an embarrassed teenager, "Yes sir. I'll make sure to do that."

I hurried down the stairs to the basement, inwardly groaning and scolding myself for getting so carried away with Dean at Bobby's house (of all places!). When I made it back to the Panic Room, I slowed my pace to keep from bumping into anything. Once I got to the bed, I crawled under the sheet and pressed my back into the wall in an effort to avoid physical contact with Dean because of my embarrassment.

Dean reached out and inadvertently hit my ribs with the back of his hand while he tried to cuddle with me. "Lay? Why are you all the way over there?" He asked as he pulled himself closer to me.

"I was just trying to let you sleep," I lied sounding uneasy as Dean started to kiss my neck and pull me even closer.

"Well I'm awake now and you are wearing way too much clothing for my liking," he whispered into my ear as he ran his hand under the waist band of the shorts I was wearing and started to tug them off my hip bone.

I put my hand on top of his to cease its movement and objected saying quietly, "Dean… stop, please? Bobby and Sam are still awake and you neglected to mention that this room isn't sound proof."

I felt him stop nibbling at my neck as he laughed against my skin. "Oh, yeah… did I forget to tell you that? Oh well…"

"Dean, it's not funny," I replied with a slight whine. "They heard everything! Now Bobby told me to make sure that you slept… so come on, you have to go back to sleep," I instructed as I wrapped his arm around me and pressed my back into his still naked chest. Once I was comfortable, I kissed his hand and said, "Good night Dean."

He yawned and mumbled, "Sweet dreams" as he kissed my hair and fell back asleep without any further protests.


	25. It Will Never Be Affected By Time

"Dean? Any chance you remember if my jacket made it downstairs with us?" I asked as I pulled my hair into a ponytail. I stood in front of the mirror and checked my reflection for anything that was out of place after getting changed in the early morning hours.

"Umm… I think it made it to the stairs… Honestly, I have no idea. Here's your shirt though," he replied with a smirk.

I semi-snatched the shirt from his hand, folded it haphazardly before I shoved it into my duffle bag. "Thanks. At least this one is still wearable," I grumbled more so to myself than to Dean.

Dean hugged my waist and kissed the back of my neck and asked, "So are you all packed up?"

I nodded as I zipped my bag and Dean took the handle in one hand and my hand in the other to lead me up stairs.

"Hey… did you bring any notes about Lucifer with you?"

"Yeah I have a few in my trunk. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

As we started up the stairs, I surveyed the every inch of the floor and the stairs for my jacket, only half paying attention to the conversation.

"Well, we know where we'll be meeting up with him, as in the city, but I was kind of hoping before we get there that we might narrow it down a bit. You know like a street or a block or a building. I don't know, just something more specific."

"Yeah, I could help with that I think," I replied but my tone still sounded distracted and distant. "Fuck… where is it?" I griped quietly as we entered the kitchen.

"What did you lose Koala Bear?" Bobby asked as he poured coffee into two mugs and passed them to Dean and me before returning his attention to the stove.

I had reclaimed my bag, so Dean held both mugs as I answered, "Umm… Poppy's bomber jacket. I don't remember where I put it last night and it has my phone in it." I could feel my tone becoming somewhat sheepish because I didn't want to remind anyone of the events they overheard the night before which caused my jacket to get misplaced in the first place.

"Don't worry Lay, it'll turn up. Just relax and have some breakfast," Dean nonchalantly commented as he drank his coffee. He joined Sam at the table and Sam swatted Dean's hand away as the older brother attempted to steal a piece of bacon from his plate.

"Yeah… I guess…" I replied slowly as they started quietly bickering at the table.

Bobby placed a plate of food in front of Dean, shaking his head and hoping that it would shut both of them up. He then set down a second plate at the empty spot to Dean's left and patted my shoulder saying, "Why don't you have a little something to eat then you can keep looking. If Toby had anything urgent to tell you, he would have tried one of our numbers too."

"Thanks Bobby. I'm just going to quickly slip out to my car and grab some notes that Dean said we might need. I'll be just a second, promise."

As I walked out to my car, my eyes swept over every bit of space they could in search of my missing article of clothing.

_What the hell? Where the hell did we throw it?_

I quickly tossed my duffle bag into my trunk and exchanged it for a couple of notebooks.

"Are you leaving today Addy?" Castiel called from a chair on the porch.

I jumped as I turned towards him. _How did I not see him there?_   "No Cas, not really… but we always need to be ready to take off at a moment's notice, you know? Life of a hunter and all," I replied with a shrug as I walked back up the stairs.

"Oh, right Dean has mentioned that before. Here, I believe this belongs to you," he said as he held out a black vintage bomber jacket.

"I've been looking EVERYWHERE for that! Thanks Cas!" I exclaimed with a sigh of relief. I quickly slipped it on and sat down beside him.

He was staring out over the scrap yard and kept his eyes fixed ahead of him. He gaze remained fairly intense and his eyes were clouded in sadness or frustration, I couldn't quite tell.

I reached out and squeezed his knee asking, "Penny for your thoughts?"

He slowly turned his head and offered me a look of utter confusion. I instantly realized that he might not understand that expression and quickly recovered saying, "I mean, I was just wondering what's going on in that head of yours. You know, what you're thinking about so intensely."

Luckily that line of inquiry made more sense to him and he smiled softly, "I was just thinking that I'm not used to this body yet. I was also contemplating the changes I have been feeling lately and trying to anticipate the others I will be feeling soon."

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

He furrowed his brows as he nodded and then started to unbutton his shirt.

"Cas? Umm…" I swallowed uncomfortably. "When I offered… I… uhh…"

He shrugged his left shoulder out from under his layers of clothing and presented the back of it to me explaining plainly, "I have a very sharp pain emanating from right at the back here. I'm not certain I know what to do about it."

"Oh," I sighed feeling very relieved and somewhat embarrassed by my reaction. _Come on Addy, mind out of the gutter! He's still 'Castiel' you idiot._

I leaned forward and held his shoulder in both of my hands so that I could get a closer look. Near the portion of his shoulder blade where the bone protruded slightly, there was a spot of blood about the size of the nail on my pinky finger covering something that protruded slightly out of his skin. I lightly picked at it with the nail of my index finger causing Castiel to wince under my fingertips.

"Shit… sorry. Does that hurt?"

"No, it is just very uncomfortable. Is the source of the pain of major concern?"

"Nope and I know exactly how to handle this. Come on back inside with me and I'll get some tweezers to pull the sliver out. We'll have you good as new in no time."

I stood up after gingerly pulling his shirt and jackets back over his wounded shoulder. Castiel then stood as well, but faltered slightly and I had to catch him in order to keep him from falling.

"Umm Cas? You haven't been drinking and going on any benders lately, have you?" I teased.

"No Addy, I haven't had a drink of alcohol since that night I visited you at your house. However, I am experiencing some lightheadedness and a sharp pain in my abdomen. Do you think that it is because of the sliver?"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing softly as I helped him through the door. "No… that would just be your new human body telling you that it needs nourishment. Come on into the kitchen and have some breakfast. You'll feel much better after that, I promise."

I brought him to the kitchen and tried to ignore the quizzical looks that Sam and Bobby were giving us. Not being one to be left out, Dean whipped his head and body around as I whispered to the Castiel that he should button up his shirt while he ate and I found the tweezers and first aid kit.

"Okay did I miss something Lay or do you and Cas have anything that you need to tell all of us?" He questioned with a smirk and a wiggle of his brows.

I rolled my eyes at him and ignored his comment to tell Castiel to take my intended seat and eat the food on the plate beside Dean.

I continued to ignore Dean and turned my back on him to direct my attention to our chef. "Hey Bobby, would you happen to have a pair of tweezers and some peroxide? It looks like Cas got stuck with a pretty nasty sliver in his shoulder somehow."

Dean hooked a finger through one of my belt loops as he ate and started to pull me closer to him while I was speaking with Bobby. I immediately swatted his hand and tried to step away from him.

"Sure thing Koala Bear, both are in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom."

"Thanks Bobby. Cas I'll be right back to fix you up. Keep eating and sit tight."

I took a step away but was halted by a swift tug on my jeans. "Dean!" I reprimanded, "I need to get the first aid kit. Let go of me!"

I was close enough to him now that he could wrap his arm around my waist as he pulled me closer and said, "No, you need to eat something. Cas won't bleed to death while you have breakfast. Remember what happened yesterday?"

Bobby walked over with another plate of food and as he set it down beside Sam said, "Addy, I hate to admit it, but he's right. You sit and eat; I'll run and grab the supplies for you."

"Fine… alright… I'll eat. Happy?" I directed over my shoulder at Dean.

He kissed my back and replied, "Immensely. And while you're at it, why don't you take off your jacket and stay a while?" He finished with a wink and I once again groaned and rolled my eyes at him.

During our exchange, Sam continued to eat and laughed quietly at the scene before him. I lightly punched his arm as I sat saying, "DON'T encourage him."

After I draped my jacket over my chair, I threw Dean an amused glare then refocused my attention on the man sitting across from me. In a very tender tone I asked, "How's your stomach feeling now Cas?"

"Muff beffer Addy. Fank yuf," he replied with his mouth still full of toast.

I smiled softly while holding in my laughter and replied, "No worries mate."

We then continued to eat in relative silence until I passed a notebook to Sam and another to Dean and we focused the majority of our conversation on figuring out a way to locate Lucifer. Bobby quickly returned with the first aid kit and took my seat when I shifted my uneaten food onto Dean's plate and placed my plate into the sink. My next destination was to tend to Castiel's wound, so I stepped in behind him and picked up the First Aid kit from the table.

As we continued talking about Lucifer and different location spells, I worked at removing the sizeable piece of wood from the former angel's shoulder. He winced and hissed in pain as I cleaned the wound with rubbing alcohol. I was only able to suppress my own laughter by throwing a cautioning glare at each of the Winchesters. I knew that for any of us this type of injury was negligible, but that for Castiel it was probably the equivalent of having a bullet removed from his body right now.

Once I had the wound bandaged with gauze, I lightly tapped Castiel's good shoulder saying, "There you go Cas, good as new. I don't think that it will get infected at all, but if it starts to hurt more just let us know right away so we can check on it, okay?"

He swiftly redressed and replied, "Thanks Addy, I will… although, it feels much better already."

"Alright… so it looks like Addy has a ritual for locating Lucifer and I'm pretty sure I have everything here at the house so that we can perform it too," Bobby commented while still deep in thought. He remained in my seat and before I knew it, Dean had wrapped his arm around me and pulled me onto his lap so that I could be included in the conversation. He was severely taking advantage of the fact that Bobby only had four chairs that would fit around his kitchen table while we went over all of the logistics of the trip and the performance of the ritual.

"Cas… umm would he have any way of knowing that we're attempting to find him?" I asked feeling very uncomfortable talking about all of this while Dean was stroking my inner thigh under the table. I moved his hand a couple of times, but gave up after my third failed attempt to get him to stop.

Bobby handed Castiel the notebook so that he could read the ritual and get a better idea of what it entailed. After reading it over he asked, "Is this the exact wording?"

"Yep. I copied it out myself word for word," I replied as lightly as I could while gripping Dean's hand tightly as he grabbed for the zipper on my jeans.

"If that is true, then no… we should be able to perform it undetected."

Sam and I locked eyes, sighed audibly and shared a warm smile. "Well Bobby, let's start gathering up all of the ingredients," Sam finally said while taking the book from Castiel.

Sam nearly sprinted from his seat and then Castiel and Bobby followed the younger male into the study. Once they were out of the room, I jumped off Dean's lap and pulled the zipper of my fly closed at lightning speed. Before he could stand up or say anything, I landed a hard punch into his shoulder (thankfully in the same location that I had punched him the day before, so I knew it would hurt him a lot more than a punch normally would).

"OW! Lay, what the hell?"

"Me what the hell? I should be asking you that!" I retorted in a hushed tone. "Dean, you can't do that with them here while we're talking about Lucifer and the fucking Apocalypse!" I continued as I rooted through my jacket for my phone in order to get some distance between us before I punched him again.

He was still sulking and rubbing his arm dramatically when he responded, "I was just trying to keep things loose, you know like your mom used to. (I shot him a stern "Come On" look to demonstrate that that excuse wouldn't work, so he tried another tactic.) God… when did you learn to punch so hard? And aim so well? You know… you're going to owe me now because I'm going to have one mother of a bruise… Lay… Hellooo, Laaaay… Hey, it's no fun teasing you if you don't respond."

I was still staring at my phone as I absentmindedly replied with a wave of my hand, "Yeah, yeah… bruise… owe… pie…"

"Lay? Are you alright?" He asked worriedly as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

When he saw my hands shaking, he lifted them so that he could get a better look at the display screen to read the message that I had just completed reading. After he saw the phrase "MOM HOSPITAL" from 'TOBY MOBILE', he caught me as my knees gave out then helped me to a chair.

He sat beside me and held my hand softly asking, "When did he send that to you?"

"Last night," I choked out as tears of guilt and frustration threatened to overtake me. "Oh… God, Dean… what if…? Oh God… and here we were just… oh God… what if…?"

He pulled me into a side hug, kissed my temple and rubbed my arm. "Shh, don't blame yourself… we don't know how bad it is yet. Shh… why don't we call and find out?"

"Hey, you guys coming to help or what?" Sam returned to the kitchen asking in a loud, overly cheerful tone.

Dean threw his index finger up to his lips to silence his younger brother while I sat on hold for the hospital ward where Maureen had been transferred to during the early morning hours.

" _Dubuque County Hospital ICU."_

"Hey Frankie…"

" _Oh Addy! That goodness he did call you!"_

"Umm… no, actually… uhh Toby texted me, but he didn't give me any details. Please Frankie; total honesty… how bad is it?"

She seemed to lower her voice for some reason, but she didn't explain why, as she replied, _"It's bad. I'm so sorry, but it looks like her body is rejecting the transplant… They don't really know how much longer she'll be able to hold on… But she is…"_

I pulled my phone away from my ear while I let out a sob before I took in a deep breath to keep from breaking down so badly that I wouldn't be able to function. Dean was able to hear most of the conversation and rubbed my back and kissed my shoulder to reassure me. As I placed my phone to my ear again, I took in another long cleansing breath.

"Are they both there?"

" _Yeah, Bill and Toby are here. Bill asked us not to call you because he didn't want to bother you while you were at work or something? I didn't know that you were out of town for work."_

"Umm… yeah it's just some free-lance stuff… umm but I'll head home right away. Frankie? No matter what Bill says, please… PLEASE have someone call me if things look like they are getting worse, okay?"

" _Of course Addy. I have your number on the call display here so I'll make sure I write it on her chart and tell everyone here. I really did want to call you but Bill refused to give any of us your cell number."_

"That's okay, I don't blame you. Thanks, I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hit the "End Call" button and let my phone fall haphazardly onto the table. I knew that all pretenses of my remaining strong were gone, so I thrust my face into Dean's chest and let my tears flow freely.

"Shh… Lay… Shh… Just let it out," he coached softly as he rubbed my back vigorously.

Sam came over and I felt one of his strong, reassuring hands join Dean's on my back.

"We got it!" Castiel announced jubilantly from the doorway. As soon as he saw the scene that was playing out in the kitchen, he called over his shoulder, "Bobby, we're needed in the kitchen" in his more familiar solemn monotone.

Bobby quickly joined us and they sat on the opposite side of the table, unsure what to say or how to proceed. Their reaction was mostly due to the fact that they had no idea what the reason was for my current emotional state.

"Lay?" Dean whispered into my ear. "What did Frankie have to say?"

I leaned back and looked at the four sets of concerned comforting eyes before me to help me regain my composure. When I wiped my face on my sleeve, Castiel produced a box of Kleenex. I pulled out a couple, blew my nose and took a moment to straighten myself out so that I could speak.

"It's Maureen… obviously…" I started with a shaky voice. "She's… her body's rejecting her transplant and… and she might not make it. Bill told everyone not to call me… I guess Toby snuck the text to me somehow during the confusion of… I… I have to get back… I just… I have to."

"Of course you do," Bobby agreed tenderly. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"No… not unless you've got a spare heart hanging around… Sorry, that was a bad joke… I honestly don't think there's anything any of us can do now. She's comfortable, so I just need to be there. But thanks for offering Bobby, I appreciate it. Bill and I have all of the arrangements for her… I mean, we took care of everything during her last stint in the hospital. I'm hoping that's why he told them not to call me…"

Castiel abruptly got up, heaved an angry, defeated sigh and punched the door frame furiously as he exited the room.

"What's his problem?" Sam asked very innocently.

I held one of his hands and replied in an amazingly (and surprisingly) serene tone, "He isn't able to do anything to help now that he's human, so he's probably frustrated about that. Let me go and talk with him quickly before we do anything else."

They all nodded, Dean leaned over and kissed my cheek and then Sam put out his hand to help me to my feet. I quickly blew my nose again and took in a deep breath as I stepped towards the door.

I found Castiel seated on a chair by Bobby's desk with his head bowed with his back facing the doorway. I thought that he might be deep in prayer, so I quietly pulled up a chair beside him and sat down with the intention of giving him that time alone. Once I was settled, I noticed that he wasn't praying, but instead his eyes were laser focused on the knuckles of his right hand.

"Castiel!" I shrieked in surprise as I instinctively grabbed his hand in both of mine to examine it more closely. "Oh Cas…" I couldn't say much else because as soon as I saw the blood trickling from the cuts between each knuckle, I knew that he must have been feeling a lot of pain and I wanted to help alleviate any of it as soon as it was humanly possible.

I dropped his hand, with a little too much force, and ran back into the kitchen to retrieve the First Aid kit. All three of the other males were deep in conversation, but I didn't stop long enough to explain the new predicament before returning to the study. Castiel was once again holding his right hand in his left, staring at it as if it wasn't connected to him and that he didn't understand what was going on with it. When I reclaimed the injured hand, he stared at me silently, no doubt astonished that I was tending to his wound so quickly.

"Oh Castiel… you're human now, so you can't go around punching door frames when your frustrated… oh Buddy this must hurt so much… I'll fix you up as fast as I can," I explained in a distinct loving, motherly tone. I quickly cleaned up the blood and discovered that there were only two small cuts that I had to deal with and was able to easily tape them up. After I bandaged his hand, I gently guided it up to my lips and placed a soft kiss on each of his wounds.

He finally looked over at me and whispered, "I'm sorry Addy. I'm useless."

I cupped his face in my hand and gently stroked his cheek with my thumb as I replied, "No Buddy, you're not useless, but your role has changed. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of this during… well the Apocalypse, but you're still a part of the team as much as any of us are." Suddenly I realized that I was talking a millennia's old angel in the same tone that I had consoled Toby on so many occasions. I would have changed the way I was speaking to him, but it appeared to be working, so I went with it.

"But I can't help and heal Maureen," he quietly complained.

"That's alright; it's not your job to do. It just means that this is what is meant to be. I know Maureen and she wouldn't want any of us to blame ourselves for what is happening to her body because she believes that everything happens for a reason. We can't control that so instead we need to focus on the task at hand, okay?"

He gently nodded and then I held both of his hands and continued, "But I'm also going to need your help with something."

"My help?" He questioned sounding like I had mistaken him for someone else. "What do you need my help with Addy?"

"I have to go home to help take care of Toby and Bill, so I'll need someone to watch out for the guys while I'm gone," I elaborated.

"I don't know how I would be able to help with that now," he responded dejectedly as he cast his eyes down to his feet.

Seeing his genuine sadness made my desire to comfort him kick into overdrive. I pulled him into a tight hug, kissed his cheek then held his face in my hands as I instructed, "Castiel, you'll do what you've always done, angel or not… you'll be the voice of reason during all of this insanity. Whether or not we wanted to hear it, you always told us the truth and that's really all you need to keep on doing. You know how to fight as well as any of us, so when the time comes you'll be able to back up just as well as Bobby or I can be for the guys."

"I think I can do that," he replied just barely over a whisper, still sounding uncertain.

I kissed his cheek again and firmly stated, "I know you can. Now come on back to the kitchen because I have to get going soon and I want to make sure that you guys have everything sorted out before I go."

After we both stood up, we wrapped our arms around each other tightly. I rubbed his back and tried to comfort him saying, "Everything is going to be okay. You just have to have faith Cas."

I felt him shake in my arms as he laughed then said, "I should be the one saying that to you."

"Well maybe you've rubbed off on me," I teased as I took his hand and led him to the kitchen. "And by that I mean you've helped influence how I see the world... in a good way."

Once we entered the other room, we once again met the three hunters who were still seated at the table. Bobby was the first to stand up and then he wrapped me in a huge bear hug.

"You drive safe now and give my best to the family, okay sweetheart?"

"Yes sir I will. You keep these guys in line while I'm gone," I replied into his shoulder. Then I moved my face flush to his ear and pleaded in a quieter tone, "Please bring him back to me."

He held my face in both of his hands, started to talk, but stayed silent and smiled sadly, kissed my forehead and then nodded as his acceptance of that responsibility.

I then turned to the Winchesters to say what could possibly be my final goodbye. I took a step towards Sam to speak with him first. After giving each other a bone crushing hug, I pulled his face down to mine. I looked into his eyes for a moment then moved my lips to his ear.

"I remember everything I said to you last night and I'll do my best to keep all of my promises to you. We all love you so much Sam, please don't ever forget that, no matter what happens we will always keep you in our hearts."

He leaned back and smiled before pulling me into another tight hug, picking me up off the ground in the process. "I will Addy, I will. Give my best to my nephew."

I shuddered softly and then he put me down. I bit my bottom lip and then squeaked out, "Of course."

Before I could turn away, he leaned down and kissed my cheek then said, "Take care of yourself too."

"I will," I replied simply before sharing another sad smile with him. I wanted to say so many other things to him, but what else could you say to the man you knew was going to sacrifice himself so that the rest of us could live our lives as we chose to?

He moved over by Castiel and Bobby then quietly said to them, "May we should give them a moment alone."

They both remained mute and nodded, waved at me and silently exited behind the taller man. Dean was holding my jacket and helped me into it. As I fastened the buttons, he wrapped his arms around me and put his chin on my shoulder. I leaned my head into him and rested it on his chest as we both took in a deep breath.

"Would you walk me out to my car?" I asked as I took his hand in mine and stepped towards the door.

"Of course," he answered as he picked up my notebooks in his free hand and took the lead on the pathway to the back porch.

At the car he motion to hand me the notebooks and I pushed then gently away shaking my head as I softly explained, "No Dean you keep them just in case you need the information once you get there. I still have all of the books at home, so I don't really need them."

Dean didn't offer any protests and he placed them on the trunk before pinning me against my GTO in a passionate kiss. To lessen the height difference between us, Dean lifted me onto the trunk knocking the notebooks to the ground. I desperately wanted to keep him as close to me as physically possible, so I wrapped my legs around him and shifted closer to the edge.

"Dean, I'm sorry I can't be there with you…" I managed to say through my pants for breath as he kissed my neck.

He stopped and placed his index finger on my lips. "Shh… don't worry about that. I'm just sorry I can't go home with you and be there for you with everything that's going on."

I leaned in and kissed him while laughing lightly. "I love you Dean and I always want you to keep that in mind, no matter where you are or what you are doing. Even when I'm at the hospital, call me if you need to talk okay?"

"I love you too Lay, but you need to focus on Maureen and Toby and Bill right now. We'll take care of Lucifer, so don't worry yourself about that," he explained before placing another soft kiss on my lips.

I pulled him in close to me and nuzzled my face into his neck while loosening my legs' grip around his waist. We stayed in each other arms, completely motionless so that we could savor the moment until Dean felt my tears moistening the fabric on his shoulder.

He delicately pushed me back, brushed the tears from under both of my eyes and started to console me saying, "Lay, please don't cry…"

I shook my head and smiled sadly. "Life of a hunter, right?"

He stared at me with confusion overtaking his worried face.

"We can never get too comfortable before the next challenge walks up and punches us in the face is all I meant. Be safe and just remind Sam how much we love him. That's going to be the best way for you guys to get through this."

"I'll try Lay…" he started to reply until a lump formed in his throat and ceased his ability to speak.

I kissed him one last time and fastened my new necklace around his neck while I distracted him with my embrace.

"Lay? What?" He tried to question as he picked up the medallion from his chest.

I placed my hand over his so we were both holding the medallion close to his heart.

"When it's all over, bring it back to me."


	26. That Dare Not Speak Its Name

The drive home passed quickly and I couldn't even tell you how many traffic laws I broke in order make it back as fast as possible while I drove down the familiar highway. At the hospital, I could feel my momentum waning once I reached the elevator to the Intensive Care Unit, but I continued to silently coach myself to force my will to stay strong so that I could be of actual help to Bill and Toby during this difficult time.

During her numerous stays at the hospital, Maureen had never had to spend any time in the ICU, so I wasn't absolutely certain that I was heading in the right direction when I got to the fourth floor, but I continued to slowly follow the black and white signs that lined the path to the unit that I was seeking. I remained confident that I would get there by doing so. When I heard an excited "ADDEE! YOU'RE HERE!" I finally had the confirmation I had wanted to prove that I was in fact in the right place.

Toby sprinted down the corridor at top speed until our bodies collided in an enthusiastic, not so tender hug. I was only partially surprised that we ended up on the floor with our arms and legs tangled together. I carefully untwined my legs so that I could sit cross legged on the floor so that Toby could sit in my lap while we continued to hold each other tightly.

"I told him you would come," he announced into my neck. "I knew you would want to be here."

He pushed himself back softly as I stroked the back of his head and neck and he worriedly asked, "You're not mad that I texted you are you? I know everything you were doing with the guys is really important but I thought that you should know."

I pulled him close again and rocked gently answering, "No Buddy, I'm not mad, not one bit. I've helped the guys as much as I can, so I'm more than happy that you let me know I was needed here." I kissed his cheek and maintained steady eye contact and continued, "I've always meant it when I told you to call me if you need me for anything, okay?"

He nodded gently saying, "Okay." After a slight pause he quietly asked, "So… how are the guys?"

I bit my lip and smiled, forcing back a few tears so that I could reply, "They got all of the rings and… Death… he even told Dean the incantation that they need to open the cage. They're working on it Buddy… they're close… it's close to finally being over."

"Really? Wow… I'm really sorry you can't be with them … well with Dean. I know you'll be worried about him and would want to be there…"

I kissed his cheek again, shook my head and said, "This is where I need to be right now, helping you and your dad through all of this… so no more apologies, okay?"

He nodded slowly and quietly agreed, "Okay."

Then he stood up and helped me to my feel and we started walking hand in hand towards Maureen's room. Bill was talking quietly with a doctor while we made our final approach, not noticing our joining them at first. As soon as my eyes met his, he opened his mouth to speak, but stopped and walked over to wrap his arms around me tightly.

"I didn't want to pry you away from helping Sam and Dean," he explained apologetically into my ear.

"I know Bill, but you shouldn't have to deal with all of this on your own right now either. They've got everything covered, so don't worry about that, okay? Now, can I help you with anything?"

He stepped back and shook his head answering, "No, not at this point in time… it's all just a waiting game now. She's as stable and comfortable as we can make her… she'll be so happy to see you, why don't you head in to say 'Hi' to her?"

I started to take a step to Maureen's room, but hesitated at the door, unsure if I was prepared for what I would see on the other side. Toby instantly saw my hesitation and remembered that I had told him about my dislike for hospitals (which was really only a cover story at the time), so he stepped up beside me and squeezed my hand.

"It's okay Addy; it's really not as scary as you make it out to be in your head. She actually looks pretty good… considering her condition and all," he explained encouragingly.

I smiled then almost laughed and squeezed his hand replying, "Thanks Buddy."

Once I finally made it into Maureen's room, I closed the door as quietly as possible and stood there looking over at her for a moment. She had her eyes closed and I almost thought that she was asleep, so I didn't want to disturb her at all. After about a minute, she stirred, opened her eyes and smiled softly.

"Adelaide?" She called softly with a slight croak in her voice. "Sweetheart, you came back?"

I stepped closer to her and noticed that her lips looked quite dry, so I poured a glass of ice water and helped her sip it before I spoke. "Of course I came back. Dean and Sam have the whole Apocalypse thing figured out, so I thought I could make myself useful here instead," I attempted to joke as light-heartedly as I could manage while feeling like my heart was starting to break.

After she drank half of the glass' contents, she sternly replied, "Adelaide, you don't have to make a joke about all of this right now."

"I'm sorry Maureen, but it's all true… I've done what I can to help them and now it's really just up to the boys to finish."

She grabbed my hand as tightly as she could in her current condition and smiled sadly. Maureen knew that I would be feeling torn and somewhat helpless because I had loved ones in two different States that I was on the verge of losing at any moment and there was nothing I could do to change their fates. I sat down on her bed beside her legs and held her hand in both of mine trying to offer her as much comfort and support that I could.

"Are you comfortable Maureen? Is that anything I can get you? Do you have enough pillows?" I asked, not really knowing what else I could really say or do to help her.

"No Sweetheart, I'm fine. But there is something that I've wanted to talk to you about," she said as she shifted slightly so that I could have more room and sit more comfortably on the bed.

"Of course Maureen, anything for you. What did you want to talk about?"

"I know that during my last stay here at the hospital that Tobias found out the truth about his adoption," she paused to silently dismiss my protests she knew would inevitably follow her statement with a cautioning smile and a wave of her hand. "I also know that he didn't take the news very well and that he has since come to terms with it and talked about it with yourself and Bill… but Adelaide… I feel that the time has come for him to be told the whole truth. That way, when I'm gone…"

"No Maureen, please don't talk like that," I interrupted nearly bursting into tears. "We still have time to get you a new heart or something… Please, let's just wait… just a little longer."

"Adelaide, I want him to hear it from me before I pass," she stated firmly to confirm her resolution.

"Okay… fine… I say that on your eightieth birthday I'll bring Toby to your retirement home and you can tell him then," I offered in a tone that proved I was failing to calm my nerves at the proposition of telling our son the truth about myself and Dean and the prospect of losing Maureen forever.

She wiped a tear from my cheek and warmly explained, "That's one plan, but we have to be realistic sweetheart. We both know that I'm not leaving this bed and I would very much like you to be here when I tell him."

I nodded slowly and relented as I whispered, "Yes ma'am… if that's what you really want."

"It is Adelaide. But more than that, it's what needs to be done. Thank you. Now would you please ask him to come in here for me darling?" She asked in a gentle loving tone while caressing my cheek.

"Yes ma'am," I replied as I started to get up from the bed.

At the door, I wiped my cheeks on the sleeves of my shirt and took a deep breath to steady myself. I checked over my shoulder and Maureen smiled encouragingly and nodded to reaffirm that this was what she truly wanted to do. As I opened the door I heaved a loud sigh, but pushed myself to stay strong.

On the other side of the door, Toby looked up from his lap and met my uncertain gaze with a loving smile. Bill wasn't waiting with Toby in the hallway, but I didn't really bother to notice that he wasn't present at this time.

I was still feeling shaky so I didn't walk towards the teen and just called from the door as calmly as I could, "Hey Buddy… could you come in here for a minute? Your mom wants to talk to you about something."

He jumped to his feet, still smiling brightly, and took a couple of long, easy strides towards the door where I stood. He passed me to quickly head straight for the spot that I had vacated to sit on the bed beside his mother beside her legs and scooped up one of her hands in both of his own.

"Hey Mom… you wanted to talk with me about something?" He asked in a soft tender tone.

I smiled to myself seeing the two of them together on the bed. I then walked over to the window and turned to look out of it in order to give them some privacy during the conversation. Even though I knew that Maureen wanted me to be in the room, I still felt uncomfortable with the topic about to be discussed and felt it would be best to allow them to discuss it amongst themselves first before I became involved.

Maureen was holding onto both of Toby's hands tightly as she started saying, "Tobias, first I need you to know that I love you with all my heart…"

He chuckled in spite of himself and Maureen soon joined in once she realized the irony of her statement and then Toby quickly added, "I love you too Mom."

"Now sweetheart, I know that you found out the truth about your dad and I… you know that we aren't your biological parents… "

Toby nodded and whispered, "Yes ma'am I did."

"Well Tobias, it was always my intention to tell you the truth about your biological parents, but I had never preplanned when Bill and I would have that conversation with you. Now with that being said, I feel that the time has come for me to have that talk with you… that is if you want to know about them."

I held my breath and placed my hands on the edge of the window sill to brace myself and keep myself standing upright while I awaited his reply. Toby shifted slightly on the bed so that he was seated in a more comfortable and took his time to make his decision.

"Yes… I would really like to know about them. Thanks Mom," he finally replied once he was settled and ready for the story his mother was about to tell him.

"Alright then… well to begin with, I would like you to know that your mother, your birth mother, is the most amazing woman that I have ever known. When she found out that she was pregnant, she was more than surprised by it, but I don't ever want you to think that that means that you were ever considered an accident because she knew right away that we were a blessing…" she explained with a beautifully serene tone.

"But not for her?" Toby interrupted quietly as tears started to form in his eyes. I placed a hand over my mouth to stifle a sob and kept my back to them as Maureen continued her tale.

"No darling, she was so young that she wasn't prepared to raise a baby on her own. She has told me that in a lot of ways she felt like a child herself, so she felt ill-equipped to start a family of her own at that time. Your dad, Bill, and I had tried on a number of occasions to have a child of our own, but were never able to. When the adoption was proposed to us, your birth mother explained that she believed that the Lord intended for you to be ours all along… and Tobias I have never for one moment felt inclined to disagree with her because you've been such an amazing addition to my life."

"What about my dad? Why didn't he want… I mean, why didn't he raise me then?" He inquired sounding much calmer than he had when he had previously asked a question.

"Oh sweetheart, to be honest, he didn't know about you back then, so he wasn't a part of the equation by the time we got to discussing your adoption. He and your mother had a falling out and by the time she found out that she was having you and they weren't on speaking terms. But Tobias, you have to understand that you were in no way the cause of them not being together, okay?" When he didn't respond immediately Maureen asked again, "You understand that, right sweetheart?"

After he finally nodded in understanding she continued, "Now, I also knew your birth father back then, although not as well as your mother but I do know that as much as he would have loved and cherished you, he most definitely was not ready to be a father back then to you either. Your mother was very mature for her age and your father… well he was quite mature in some respects, but he was by no means prepared for a baby to be a part of his life. I always felt that if your mother wasn't prepared then your father was far from it as well."

"Oh… so because he was kind of immature he wasn't given a choice?" Toby asked sounding quite intrigued and confused.

"No Tobias, it's not like that at all…" She chuckled softly to herself knowing that I wouldn't really want to hear what she was going to say next and she also knew that I would minimize my reaction to anything else she would say. "Let me try to explain it better… we all knew that your father's job kept him busy and that he wouldn't be able to handle a new born child while continuing his work. Now, I personally advocated, on numerous occasions, for your mother to call him and tell him about the decision but she was… and very much still is, so strong willed and stubborn that she wouldn't budge no matter how many persuasive arguments I was able to come up with and put forward to her. She knew you were meant to be ours and since your birth father didn't call her, she took that as him relinquishing any claims to you or being a part of the decision or her life."

Toby allowed himself to chuckle a bit at his mother's statement before asking, "So she's not really someone to mess with then, huh? I mean, if she was able to get you to back down and all… I don't think I've ever seen you give in to anyone before mom."

She leaned over and tickled him while replying, "And that's the only fight I've ever lost too."

The exertion of energy to tickle Toby took a little bit out of Maureen, but she managed to share a laugh with him then she laid back to catch her breath. After a few moments, she sat up again, held his cheek in her hand and asked, "So Tobias, now that you have the back story, do you think that you are ready to find out who your birth parents really are?"

Toby looked up at her and shook his head slowly as he responded, "No…"

I shuddered as I took in a breath and clasped my hand even tighter over my mouth to keep them from hearing my reaction. Here he had the full story and still he didn't want to know the truth about me and Dean and I was taking it harder than I ever thought I would.

"No… no, it's okay mom… I already know who they are," he finished while pulling Dean's letter out of the hip pocket of his jeans.

I pivoted on my right heel so that I was facing them to double check that I had heard him correctly. Once I was turned around I immediately saw the letter I had hidden in a book in Toby's hand. I couldn't help but let a few tears of relief fall, and then I smiled realizing that I had completely misunderstood his response just a few moments ago.

"Where did you…?" I tried asking but my voice was caught somewhere in my throat at the moment.

"It was in one of the books on exorcisms that I read through when I was trying to find a way to save you from that demon," he explained quietly as he avoided making eye contact by staring at his name on the front of the envelope. "Dean kind of explained everything… well his side anyways…" He paused to turn back to Maureen and apologetically clarified, "He wrote basically the same things that you just told me mom, but I wanted to be sure that you felt the same way as him."

While he recounted his side of the story to his mother, I pulled up a chair and sat beside her bed on the opposite side of where Toby sat. I barely looked up at him as I tearfully asked, "So you've known this whole time? Why didn't you say anything?"

He carefully folded up the letter before placing it in his pocket and shrugged nonchalantly answering, "I figured I wasn't supposed to know yet…" He lowered the volume of his voice to finish because he noticed that Maureen had fallen asleep again. "I just thought that when the time was right someone would tell me eventually."

I smiled and nodded towards the door to silently ask him to meet me outside in the hallway so that we could continue our conversation outside. He nodded and immediately exited the room, but I stayed behind for a brief moment and kissed Maureen's head. "Mo, I'm going to find a way to get you well. Your son needs you now more than ever… I do too… I don't want to have to face all of this without you at my back… I swear I'm going to make sure to find a way so that you all stay together as a family," I whispered into her ear with more conviction than I thought that I could muster.

Once I finally exited the room, Toby turned and ran into me to give me a hug.

"I'm so glad that it's you Addy! I'm so glad that you're my real mom!" He blurted out into my neck.

Toby's arms were still wrapped around my neck as I maneuvered us to a chair. I think that he had grown at least three inches since the last time that we did this, but he somehow cuddled into me closely while sitting on my lap.

"Really Tobs?" I clarified through tears of relief while holding him tightly.

He leaned back and smiled while a few tears trickled down his cheeks. "Yeah… I mean who wouldn't want you guys as parents? Everyone wants their moms and dads to be movie stars or superheroes and well… mine are!"

I sat back and threw him an amused, questioning look to which he replied, "Well think about it… you and Dean go out and hunt monsters and save people all the time; so that makes you guys like Batman or something. Mom and dad stay at home and take care of things on the farm, so they'd be like Bruce Wayne or you know… what? What's so funny?"

"It's… it's nothing… I think I see your point Toby…" I choked out through my fit of laughter. I had to then take a second because his logic did seem that funny to me and I could barely catch my breath to speak clearly. "Please… please, just promise me that you will NEVER tell Dean that. We would never live down you actually calling him 'Batman' since he's been trying to convince all of us that we should call him that nickname."

He started to catch my case of the giggles even though he didn't seem to completely understand why I found what he was saying was so hilarious. As I caught my breath, I opened my eyes and he had stopped laughing so I tried to explain, "It's just Dean… he would totally let the superhero nickname go straight to his head and that's all I can picture right now… and then I got a mental picture of him in tights…"

He then smirked at seeing my logic (and was looking more and more like his biological father as the days passed) and asked, "Oh really?"

I finally calmed down and more seriously replied, "Yeah Buddy… I'm sorry I really didn't mean to be rude and laugh like that, but I've never thought of myself as a superhero… hunting is just the job we do… you really are just too sweet."

He pulled me close and quietly said into my ear, "It's true… And really Addy I wouldn't want it to be anyone other than you two… now my family is complete like it should be."

I pet the back of his head as he rested his chin on my shoulder and squeezed the back of his neck and said, "Thanks Buddy… you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that."

Toby stayed on my lap, holding me tightly until we heard Bill finally return.

"Hey guys… is everything okay?" Bill suddenly became nearly hysterical thinking that I was consoling Toby for another reason. "Is it Maureen? Is she okay?"

Toby turned his head towards his dad and was the first to reply, "She's sleeping Dad… and she told me everything about Addy and Dean."

Bill had continued to Maureen's door during his line of questioning, but stopped quickly with his hand on the door knob, stunned at that revelation. He slowly turned back while still holding the knob to her still closed door and asked affectionately, "And you're still doing alright son? Did you want to talk about it at all?"

Toby nodded enthusiastically and replied, "Yes sir, we're fine… I promise I'm okay… it's alright, you and I can talk all about it later sir."

Bill smiled warmly and nodded, but didn't say anything else and allowed Toby and I some more time alone together. After he had once again disappeared into Maureen's room, Toby finally loosened his grip and looked down at me to ask, "So what happens now?"

I let him remain as he was, but pushed back some stray hair out of his eyes and replied, "What do you mean Toby?"

"Well… now that I know… do I stay with Bill and Maureen or do I move in with you? Are you still 'Addy'? Or do I start calling you 'Mom'? And Dean…" he started in his signature rapid fire way of speaking.

I held his cheek as I replied, "Your mom is just past those doors there and dad is sitting with her… Buddy don't try to put too much emphasis on labels right this second because Bill and Maureen have been 'mom' and 'dad' your whole life so nothing is going to change overnight. Plus I don't plan on changing my name anytime soon, so I can't think of anything else that you should be calling me."

"But Addy, you're more than just 'Addy' to me and Dean… well I haven't known him as long but it just seems wrong to call you guys by your first names," Toby explained with a hint of sadness in his voice. "It's not like I suddenly love Mom and Dad any less, but I love you so much too and it just doesn't seem fair for me not to have a special name for you too."

"Aww thanks Buddy, I love you too, but you just have to give it time okay? This is a lot to take in all at once and nothing is going to change right away, so just give it time."

He nodded then whispered, "But what if mom…"

I caressed his cheek as I interrupted, "Let's not ask about the 'what ifs' right now, okay? We just have to take it one day at a time Tobs, alright? Now why don't you head into your mom's room there and check on your parents. This is a big change for them too, you know?"

"Sure… okay." He replied and then hugged me tightly again and whispered into my ear, "I love you Mum." He quickly hopped off my lap and hurried into Maureen's room before I could have a chance to respond.

I remained seated in the hallway for a bit, smiling to myself with relief. Everything was out in the open and Toby was happy about it. Maybe we could be a family, maybe I could take him in and then he could start calling me "Mum" and it would feel right. As I sat there thinking and daydreaming, I felt my phone vibrate. I really didn't want to answer it and be brought back to the real world just yet, but my upbringing had taught me that I couldn't ignore a call because it would most likely be someone that was in need of my help.

After I hit the "Answer" key and before I could say anything I heard, _"Addy? Addy? Are you there?"_

"Yeah I'm here Bobby… are you okay? Did something happen to…? Did everything go…?" I couldn't complete a full question because my mind had suddenly started to race too fast.

" _Dean's okay Koala Bear… well he's alive… but umm if you see Sam… I mean if 'Sam' happens to show up in Kidder and all…"_

"Oh God… no, yeah I get it Bobby… he's not 'Sam' anymore. Oh shit… fuck… does that mean that Lucifer will know EVERYTHING that Sam already knows?" I asked as I walked away from Maureen's room to the stairs.

" _Sorry… yeah it does Addy… but that's why I'm calling. I had made up a hex bag for Toby and left it at your house just in case this happened. Now, if he carries it with him at all times, and then Lucifer won't be able to find him there."_

I laughed lightly at his explanation then responded, "That's okay Bobby… Castiel took care of all of that a while back. Toby has the same protection symbols etched on his ribs that he gave Sam and Dean. We don't have to worry about that."

" _Oh… well that's a relief to hear… But still… you two should be extra careful and if you see him just… just watch out for yourself and for Toby, okay?"_ Bobby reiterated once again.

"I will Bobby, I promise. But… umm… how's Dean doing? Fuck… that sounds stupid… he's in rough shape, right? He can't be taking this well."

" _Yeah Koala Bear he is… yeah he…"_

"Okay Bobby I should call him… I'll talk to you soon, thanks for the heads up," I hastily interrupted before I hang up as I started out of the hospital door and didn't wait for a rebuttal from Bobby.

I immediately tried Dean's number, which was now saved to its own speed dial key with its own ring tone, but the call immediately reached his voice mail without attempting to ring through to his phone.

 _SHIT! He turned his phone off!_ I silently cursed as I listened to his voicemail message.

"Dean? Are you there? Well… If you get this… Please call me back right away… I don't care what time of day, okay? Please? Bobby called… he told me about what happened… Please Dean, I love you so much… You're really not alone right now… Please? We'll figure something out… Just call me right away, okay?"

 _Shitfuck! Just like that and everything is falling apart… AGAIN!_ I thought as I sat on the trunk of my GTO and stared at the stars above my head. _What the hell am I going to do?_

My eyes wandered from the pavement of the parking lot to the hospital and I watched as lights were turned off and on in a few different rooms. As I sat there it then hit me that I did have a way to fix this… Well at least one of my problems, so I hopped into the driver seat and sped off towards a secluded area on the outskirts of town.

After I had gotten all of the supplies together, I stood up and wiped the dirt off of my hands on the back of my legs. I then found myself standing in the middle of the intersection, turning in a haphazard circle. I was nervous and for some reason had it in my mind that by surveying my surroundings from where I stood that it would speed up the process somehow.

 _Damn it! Where are you?_ I paced a bit and then pulled out my phone to check how long I had been standing out in the cold. Although it had only been twenty minutes, it felt like hours had passed.

"CROWLEY! COME ON! IT'S YOURS! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!? IT'S YOURS!" I shouted at the top of my lungs towards the sky. "It's yours…" I continued in a much more somber tone as I fell to my knees and started to sob. "Just save her and it's yours…"


	27. When I First Escaped the City of York

By the time I finally made my way back to the hospital it was already lunch time. I hadn't meant to stay out all night, but I knew that Bill would understand that I needed some time to myself to help me better cope with everything that had transpired over the last twenty four hours. At least that was what I would tell him if he questioned me about it at all. Maureen's room door was closed when I got back, so I found a seat and waited as patiently as I could until Bill re-emerged so that I could get the latest update on her condition.

"Hey Addy, would you be able to do me a favor?" He asked with a tone that sounded like he thought that I had been waiting in the hallway all night long instead of being out trying to make a deal with a demon.

"Of course Bill, anything. What can I do for you?"

"Well Toby's gone to the cafeteria to have some lunch, Maureen is still sleeping and I have to go to fill out some paperwork, but I really don't want her to wake up alone…" he quietly explained.

"That's no problem Bill; I'll head right in… You go ahead and take care of whatever you need to do," I replied as I stood and stretched. I then started walking towards Maureen's room and lightly patted his arm to offer him my encouragement.

Before I got to the room, Bill held my hand and asked, "Addy is everything alright? You look exhausted."

I offered him the best smile that I could muster and answered, "I just had a long night is all. I'll be fine; don't worry about me Bill… We can talk about it later."

Although he agreed not to be concerned, I knew that he still would… But that's what family does right? They sit around and worry about us no matter how much we try to get them to stop?

I took off my jacket and bundled it up into a ball before I pulled a chair closer to Maureen's bed. I was feeling absolutely exhausted because I hadn't slept at all during the night, so I sat on the chair and used my jacket as a makeshift pillow and attempted to take a nap. I turned my head on the bed to look at Maureen as she slept and smiled at how beautiful and peaceful she looked. Almost immediately after I held her hand, my mind succumbed to sleep's warm embrace.

When I woke up, I looked around the room and noticed that it was still empty so I figured that I hadn't slept for very long. A check of the clock on my cell phone proved that I had in fact only been asleep for about twenty minutes. I placed my head back onto my makeshift pillow to watch Maureen as she slept peacefully beside me. I tried my best to fall back asleep in order to avoid allowing the tears forming in my eyes to fall.

As I rested there, out of the blue I felt a strong hand grip my right shoulder. Since I hadn't heard the door open, nor had I heard any footsteps, I figured that it could only be one person… well one being that was standing behind me.

Before acknowledging them by turning around, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to prepare myself. As I turned, I raised my hands and pulled his face towards my own with my eyes still closed tightly.

Our lips were dangerously close to connecting when I heard a startled and confused voice say, "Adelaide? What are you doing?"

My eyes shot open and I pull my hands away from his face as quickly as possible. "Castiel? Hey… sorry… I umm… I thought you were someone else."

 _Shit! I guess he's not showing up… damn it!_ I cursed in my head knowing that Castiel wouldn't hear my true intentions or disappointment.

"So are Dean and Bobby outside?" I asked as I busied my hands by unfolding my jacket and draping it over the back of my chair while I stared at the still closed door. _How did I not hear him come in? Whatever, I must have fallen asleep again without realizing it._

"No, I came here alone," he responded in his familiar monotone.

"Alone? Cas, it's really not safe for you to be way from both of them… Especially right now with everything that has happened with Lucifer," I reprimanded in an almost motherly tone as I looked up into his confused face.

"It's alright Adelaide, it is quite safe for me to travel alone," he replied as he stepped up beside me and held both of my hands in his.

"I thought we already talked about this Cas, please call me 'Addy'," I implored while trying to keep my tone from sounding too annoyed. "And I know that you are used to your independence, but now that you're human…"

While I was rambling, he remained silent and pushed the sleeves of my shirt back to my elbows so that he could hold each of my bare wrists in his hands. He gently squeezed each of them with a soft smile tugging at the corners of my mouth and I fell silent as a feeling of intense calm washed over me.

"Adelaide… oh my apologies, I mean Addy, everything that you are warning me about is very wise and I appreciate your concern, but I am no longer human, so there is no need for you to worry," he responded as he released my wrists and presented them to me.

When I looked down, I was stunned to see that the pink, bumpy scars that had been plaguing my life for the past few months were now gone. I lightly stroked my left wrist with the fingers of my right hand and looked up at him with my mouth agape and tears welling in my eyes.

"But… how?" I asked, unable to elaborate the thought to its completion.

"I'm not quite sure that I understand it myself, however it would seem that after Lucifer killed me I was somehow brought back to life. I can only assume that I have my Father to thank for being brought back because I am… how do you usually put it? 'Good as new'?"

I smiled and nodded then whispered, "Yeah, that's the saying."

"I wanted to come and visit you to once again thank you for all of your support during this difficult time. I more than appreciate your faith in all of us during my own crisis of faith. I could not have made it through this without your encouragement."

He stepped around me to find a place beside Maureen's bed and smiled down at her warmly. I watched him in utter silence, still too shocked and surprised to say much more than I already had.

"And with that being said, I do not believe that it would be wise for you to trade your life for Maureen's by making a deal with Crowley," he continued turning only his eyes towards me in a sideways glance to witness my reaction.

I was going to feed him a line and attempt to defend my actions, but I knew that he would be able to see right through any lie that I could attempt to come up with… angel or not. So, instead I decided to confess the truth to him.

"I didn't know what else to do," I shamefully apologized while still staring at my now healed wrists as my hands rested in my lap. "I needed to fix something… we can't lose her yet Castiel… we just can't."

He didn't reply, but just nodded in understanding as he placed his hand on Maureen's chest, right where her heart would be, and pushed down softly. When I caught a glimpse of a bright light out of the corner of my eye, I looked up and stared as his hand emitted a beautiful white glow over her torso.

He then turned back to me and flatly stated, "She will rest now and when she wakes, Maureen will be ready to go home because she is 'good as new'."

I couldn't contain my tears as I hoarsely whispered, "I honestly don't know how I can ever thank you Cas."

I stood up and wrapped my arms around him because I didn't feel that I would be able to show my gratitude any other way. The angel stood awkwardly in my embrace for a moment and then I thankfully felt his body relax as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't stem the flow of my tears of relief so I just gave in and allowed myself to cry into his chest without reservation.

He must have felt my tears wetting his shirt because it wasn't too long before he pushed me out of his embrace and looked down at me with a look of worried confusion. Castiel then wiped away some of my tears and asked, "If you are so thankful, then why are you crying Addy?"

"Because I'm a stupid girl," I replied humorously while pulling my sleeves back down and drying my cheeks. Castiel's face crinkled into a look of intense frustration and I realized that he didn't understand my joke, so I clarified my statement, "They're tears of relief Cas. It's just an automatic reaction from my body after having been so stressed over these past few months. I promise they're a good thing, really."

He offered the barest hint of a smile of understanding and I asked, "So… God brought you back to life after Lucifer killed you, huh? Would you care to elaborate on that at all?"

"There is nothing more to say on that topic. I was killed and my Father brought me back to life again. Is there something that you do not understand?"

I laughed to myself and answered, "No I get the logistics of that scenario Cas, but I meant about what happened with Lucifer… and Dean. How is he? Is he alive? If you were killed, how bad was everything that happened?"

"Oh you want to know about the outcome of the fight. Well Sam was able to regain control of his body and forced Lucifer and Michael into Lucifer's cage. Dean is now with Bobby en route to Bobby's house in South Dakota. I believe that he will call on you after he is certain that Bobby is safe and settled," he reported with a simple nonchalant tone.

 _Oh thank God, he's alive!_ "Okay, that's a relief to hear. And what about you? What are you going to do now?"

"I've decided that after I have set a few more thing right, I will return to heaven," he replied simply.

"'Set a few things right'? Like what kind of things?" I asked as I took a seat on the windowsill feeling thoroughly intrigued by the change in speech and action of the new über-angel in front of me.

Castiel took a couple of steps forward and gently placed his right hand onto my lower abdomen. I jumped slightly and sat up straighter at the somewhat intimate contact that he had made with my body, but before I could question him about his course of action, the angel explained, "The first thing that I should set right is that you were meant to be carrying Dean Winchester's child. That way when he defeated Lucifer, you two were supposed to raise that child together."

As he started to apply a small amount of pressure to my midsection, I gripped his hand tightly and protested, "No Cas, no I'm not. I get it now… that dream we all had, it wasn't just a dream… it was something so much more, but I… but I'm not destined to be pregnant. I made a choice after what happened to me and now I'm living with the results of that decision. Please don't change that… you know us humans have that 'Free Will' and all… Plus, I already told Dean that there was no chance that I was carrying his child. If he comes back and I am… then he'll think that I lied to him and I'll lose his trust forever. Please don't do something that will make me lose him forever."

He nodded softly, but I still felt his hand pressing on my abdomen and then there was a comforting warmth emitting from his palm.

"Cas… what did you do? I told you not to change anything."

"I'm sorry Addy, but the doctor that you visited at the Emergency Room was incorrect; you did have a complication due to the damage incurred on your body by the demon. You actually had a small infection that would have gone undetected until it was too late. If you were ever going to want to have another child with Dean, you would not have been able to conceive again if I didn't heal you right now. This way you have the choice as to whether or not you will carry another child."

As he started to retract his hand, I quickly grabbed it and gripped it tightly to my body and said, "Cas… really? I wouldn't have been able to…?"

He shook his head softly in response to my incomplete question and we stared at each other silently for a moment. Without thinking about it, I leapt to my feet and wrapped my arms tightly around him exclaiming, "Thank you Castiel! Thank you so much! If you EVER need anything, ANYTHING at all, all you have to do is ask and it's yours! I honestly don't know how else to say 'Thank you' for… for everything and for making sure I still have the choice."

He squeezed me tightly and whispered in my ear, "Just take care of Dean, that's all I ask in return." Then he promptly disappeared from sight.

My arms wrapped around my body now that Castiel no longer occupied the space between them. I chuckled then thought to myself, _Goodbye Cas. Don't be a stranger_ with a soft sarcastic tone. My tears of relief returned as I walked back to Maureen's side. I stroked her cheek and smiled contently because I could already see the color returning to her cheeks that immediately made her look healthier than she had in the last year and a half.

As I held her hand, a few of the machines beside her bed started to make a variety of sounds at an alarming rate.

"Shit! This can't be good," I cursed softly to myself before dropping her hand and running for the door.

"HELP! SOMEONE… HELP!" I shouted from the doorway because I wasn't sure what else I could or should do.

It just so happened that Bill was walking towards me with Maureen's doctor. They were calmly going over some test results when I arrived at the door in an apparent panicked state. When they heard me shouting they completely abandoned their conversation and started running at top speed towards me.

I stepped out of the way so that the doctor could get by with ease, but I grabbed Bill's arm to keep him in the hallway with me.

"Addy! Let me go!" He nearly shouted at me in anger.

"It's okay Bill, she's fine," I tried to explain as calmly as I could while holding in my own excitement.

"NO! No… I'm not going to let her die alone! Let go of me!" he continued irritably as he struggled fiercely to get out of my hold.

"Bill! Bill! Calm down and listen to me! She's fine… The machines are going crazy because they aren't needed anymore. Her heart is fine," I tried once again to explain gently.

By this time Toby had arrived at the room and when he overheard the exchange between his father and me, he quickly asked, "What do you mean that her heart is fine?"

I looked over at him and then back at Bill with a soft smile on my face and replied, "She's been healed… Castiel was here and he fixed her heart. She'll be ready to come home as soon as she wakes up."

They both stared at me in a stunned silence and then Toby threw his arms around me. He wanted to hide the fact that he was crying by tucking his face into my shoulder. I thought that Bill was going to join in our loving embrace because he had finally relaxed as I loosened my grip significantly.

Instead of what I had predicted, he took a step away from me replying in a harsh hushed tone, "That's not funny Addy. How dare you joke like that?" When he was done he turned to go into her room without allowing me to answer to his accusation.

Toby leaned back and sniffled back his tears so that he could say, "I know that you aren't joking. I think that he's just cranky because he hasn't slept or eaten much over the past couple of days."

"Thanks Buddy… Why don't we go in and check on them and see what's going on? They're both going to need our support more now than ever."

When we got to the door, we saw that Bill was holding the now alert patient's hand while the doctor was busy unhooking and detaching a variety of wires from Maureen's chest, arms and fingers.

While he was staring intently at one of the machines that were still turned on, the doctor absentmindedly said, "It makes no sense… How can this be?" He finally turned his attention back to Maureen and Bill to continue, "I'll have to run a few tests but… but it would appear that her… your heart is… is functioning perfectly fine now. It makes absolutely no sense… I have to go and get an EKG monitor… I'll be right back."

After he left the room, Toby ran to Maureen's side and threw his arms around her neck. The entire Connor clan then turned their attention towards me and Maureen asked, "Adelaide, what did you do darling? Please tell me that you didn't make a deal with a demon or something like that… Please tell me that we aren't going to lose you now instead of me."

I stepped to the foot of her bed and picked at the sheets covering her feet as I laughed and replied, "No Maureen I didn't… he wouldn't show up. But… Castiel… our favorite angel did and he healed you. This miracle is 100% Heaven sent. I swear on my life that it is." I finished my statement by holding my hands up in a sign of surrender.

Maureen groaned quietly at my joke but before she could scold me, Toby excitedly asked, "Does that mean that we can take you home now and get out of this hospital for good?"

"Not yet son, we still have to wait for the doctor to give us the okay before I can leave," she replied warmly.

She was about to say something else to me, possibly a stern warning about my off color commentary, but the doctor stepped in with a nurse who was pushing a piece of equipment.

"I'm sorry everyone, but I'm going to have to ask you to step outside while we run our tests," the doctor explained as he moved an unusable piece of equipment away from Maureen's bed to allow the nurse to have the room she needed to use the EKG machine.

I put my hand out for Toby to take and led him out into the hallway. Bill reluctantly followed us out of the room and found me hugging Toby tightly.

"She's been healed? By an angel?" Bill mumbled almost inaudibly.

I reached out and squeezed his hand and replied, "Miracles do happen, Bill."

We all then sat in the hallway as we waited for the doctor's latest update and said a prayer of Thanksgiving together. After we had somewhat come to terms with the fact that Maureen was in fact now well and nearly on her way home, we then discussed our plans for the evening. We had a feeling that the doctor would insist on Maureen staying in the hospital overnight for observation, so we decided that it would be best if Toby spent the night with me and then for him to go to school like normal in the morning.

After we ate dinner at my house, Toby went to his room to finish his homework for class the next day. On my way to bed, I checked in on him to make sure that he wasn't planning on staying up to late, but was relieved to see that he was already preparing to go to bed.

"Hey Buddy? Your dad said that he would call in the morning to let us know when your mom is being discharged, okay? I'm hoping that Dean will have called by then too, but if neither of them have called before we get you off to school, I'll text you to keep you in the loop. Sound good?"

"Sure, that sounds good to me. I'll make sure that I have everything packed and ready for me to head home."

"Perfect. Good night Toby. Sweet dreams."

I turned to leave and at the door I heard him call out, "You too Mum."


	28. So Wonderfully Good Looking

I woke up in the morning with a renewed sense of calm as I lay on my bed basking in the warmth of the sun shining on my face. I rolled off the bed somewhat begrudgingly because I could have easily spent the rest of the day in bed, but instead of doing that, I got up, had a hot shower and then changed in preparation for the day ahead.

As I walked down the stairs to the main floor, my stomach growled loudly, so I rubbed it telling it out loud, "Yeah yeah yeah… I hear you, just hold your horses."

I had planned on getting up early so that I could see Toby off to school, but somehow I had hit the snooze button one too many times and slept in until noon. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I got the most vivid feeling of déjà vu, but shook it off and let my hunger pains take precedence.

In the kitchen there was a muffin placed on a plate waiting for me and as I started nibbling on it, I found a notepad sitting on the island as well. I picked it up with my free hand so that I could read it, "Hey! I didn't want to wake you up, so I took the bus to school. Sorry, no news on either front *heart* Toby"

 _Hmm… no news, eh? I guess that could be a good sign, right?_ I thought to myself just before my stomach growled loudly once again. "Okay, okay, I'm eating. Geez, calm down… fuck… this has happened before…"

I picked up Toby's note again and then dropped it onto the island laughing. _Guess I should be baking a pie right about now._

I hadn't made sure that I had all of the necessary ingredients before I started, but miraculously they were all easily found. My hands wouldn't stop shaking from nervous anticipation and I nearly sliced my hand and fingers open on more than one occasion during the pie making process.

By the time I got the pie safely put together and into the oven, I hadn't heard the knock at the door that I had anticipated, so I slowly started the cleanup process. I first put away the ingredients that I hadn't used, or the remnants of those that had played a part in the creation of the pastry dish, put away before I started to tackle the mound of dishes that had accumulated by the sink. I decided to wash them by hand to help pass the time, but again my nervousness started to get the best of me and I nearly dropped the mixing bowl when I placed it in the dishwater.

As my hands were emerged in the soapy water, I heard a faint knock at the back door. I immediately felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach and was overwhelmed by so many emotions that washed over me that I was barely able to call out, "Come in! It's open!"

I held my breath as the door opened and sighed loudly when I finally saw who it was on the other side.

"Crap… did I forget to lock it? I'm sorry," Toby replied as he picked up a pile of books and a heavy looking backpack.

"No Buddy you didn't forget, I just made sure it was unlocked just in case," I answered as I put the last bowl onto the drying rack and wiped my hands on my apron.

"Oh… okay," he replied as he struggled with his bag and books while taking in a deep breath. "Do I smell apple pie? Is Dean coming back today? I didn't see the Impala, so he's not here yet, right?"

"I hope so because so far all signs point in that direction, but I don't honestly really know," I explained as I put my apron on the island. "So what's up with the library you're bringing home here?"

He dropped his backpack with an incredibly loud THUD and juggled the books in his arm a bit before leaning them on the corner of the counter by the doorway to the living room so that he could get a better grip on the large pile. "I have a research paper that I can do for extra credit since I missed so many days because of mom's illness. I get to choose any country I want to do it on, so I chose Australia and I took out every book that I could find on it and celebrities from there."

"Oh… man… Buddy you didn't have to actually take out the WHOLE library because I have a bunch of books you can use here already. Didn't you remember that my mom, your Grandma Vicki was completely obsessed with all things Australian?"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to be a bother and you always say that when you're researching something that you need to look at it from all sides," he sheepishly responded.

I walked over and squeezed his shoulders before pulling him into a hug replying with a huge smile on my face, "And I'm more than proud of your attention to detail whenever you've helped me with research… now why don't you leave your over filled backpack in here while you take everything else up to your room and I'll carry it up for you in a bit?" I offered.

He picked up his books again and excitedly said, "Thanks Addy! I would hug you, but my arms are kind of full right now and all." Then he continued through the door frame up the stairs to his room.

As I started to pick up his backpack, I stared at the back door and felt my heart break slightly. I heaved his bag onto my right shoulder and listed slightly to the right as I walked and followed Toby's path. Almost as soon as I started to walk through the door frame, I heard a tentative knock at the door.

I immediately dropped the bag and called out a little too loudly, "It's open! Come on in!"

I could feel sweat beading on the palms of my hands, so I walked over to the island to dry them on my apron. I turned my eyes towards the now open door and smiled, still not believing my eyes and said, "Dean?"

"Hey Lay," he responded quietly with a hitch in his voice.

I dropped the corner of the apron that I was holding and nearly ran towards him in order to wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Oh my God! I missed you so much!" I exclaimed as I held his face and kissed his lips.

"I missed you too," he replied as I felt his hands run across my stomach. "Why do I feel like we've had this conversation before?"

"I know what you mean… I've been having a wicked case of déjà vu all day," I agreed softly. "So… is it really over?"

"Yeah," he said quietly as a tear trickled down his cheek. "Yeah, it's over… he's back in his cage again," he choked out even more quietly.

"Oh Dean…" I said as I pulled him close and kissed his moistened cheek. Once his body was flush with mine, I was able to look outside and noticed that he was in fact alone… which of course meant that Sam's plan had actually worked, just like Castiel had told me the day before.

"Dean… why don't you come over here and take a seat so we can talk?" I instructed lovingly as I led him over to the breakfast nook.

Once he was seated, he held my hips firmly and kissed my belly then look up at me with a soft pleading gaze.

"I'm sorry Dean, but everything I told you back at Bobby's place still holds true. I'm not pregnant… I'm sorry… but there's nothing that can stop us from trying again," I tried to conclude as light heartedly as possible without minimizing the pain I knew he was feeling right now.

"Really?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow as he squeezed my hips and continued to rub my flat belly. "Do I smell pie?"

I laughed softly as I held his hand and kissed the back of his fingers. "Nothing gets by you now does it?"

He pulled me closer to him and rested his cheek on my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair and looked out the window towards the Impala sadly as it sat beside my GTO. I was still feeling slightly stunned that Sam was actually gone and really couldn't even fathom that he was in Hell right now.

"Will it be long before it's done?" Dean inquired without attempting to hide his excitement about being able to enjoy a fresh, homemade apple pie.

"It'll be ready soon enough. Why don't you go and get your stuff and start getting settled in? It should be ready by the time you're done," I replied before I gently pulled his head back so that I could kiss him softly.

I then started to walk away from the breakfast nook with the thought that he would follow my instructions until Dean suddenly pulled me back onto his lap.

"Dean!" I shrieked in playful shock.

He held my hip bone tightly in his left hand while holding the back of my head with his right and kissed me passionately. When he finally leaned back and released his lips from mine, I slowly opened my eyes and felt a smile spread across my face and pet his beaming face.

"I think that we should start trying as soon as possible," he whispered into my ear.

"We can Dean, okay… but just not right this second, alright? I love you, but…"

He stifled my speech with another passion filled kiss. His left hand trailed to the waist band of my yoga pants and soon his fingers started to work their way under the waist band of my boy cut briefs.

We heard the loud THUMP of Toby's backpack being dropped which caused us to quickly release our lips from our embrace so that we could turn to look in the direction of the noise.

"I'm sorry! The strap on my bag broke again… I think it's over loaded," Toby apologized while sounding like he was on the verge of breaking into tears. "I'm so so sorry! I really didn't mean to interrupt you guys. I swear I just meant to grab my bag and sneak out before you guys noticed…"

I sat up as upright as I possibly could on Dean's lap and instantly replied, "Oh Tobs, it's okay! Please don't cry Buddy. Why don't you come on over here and say a proper 'Hi' to Dean?"

Toby abandoned his damaged backpack and slowly walked over to the breakfast nook. Dean reached out towards the younger male with his left hand and wrapped his arm around Toby's waist once he was close enough for Dean to do so and said, "Hey Buddy, sorry we got carried away like that… I honestly thought that we had the house to ourselves."

The younger male smiled and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and replied softly, "No I'm sorry… you two should have the house to yourself but dad hasn't let us know yet when mom will be coming home from the hospital. I should be heading home soon and then I'll be out of your hair, I promise."

Dean squeezed him tightly while saying, "Hey, there's no rush Little Man… really no rush at all."

Toby released his near death grip around Dean's neck, but the older man maintained his snug hold around the young boy's waist. Toby looked over at his back pack forlornly and commented, "The librarian said that I was putting too much weight into my bag… I figured that if I could still pick it up that it would be okay."

"Hey, Tobs, why don't you go and grab Poppy's old army pack and use it until we're able to get you a new back pack? As great a seamstress as Maureen is, I'm not really all that sure that she will be able to revive the straps on your bag this time."

"Really? You mean I can use the bag we always use on our Cubby's outings? Really?" He asked sounding excited but not believing what he had just heard.

"Yep… it's in the laundry room, but I think that you should only put half of the books into it for now and then you can take the books back to the library in smaller bundles, okay?"

"Yeah that sounds like a pretty good plan," he conceded with a half-smile. Toby then twisted his body so that he could lean forward and hug me saying, "Thanks Mum, you're the best."

Dean stared at me completely stunned which allowed Toby to slip out of his loosened grip. He then rushed happily to the laundry room to find the coveted pack that I finally gave him permission to use.

"Wait… Maureen's being released from the hospital?" Dean asked sounding like the information he had just heard made absolutely no sense to him.

"Yeah, umm Cas stopped by yesterday and healed her," I replied somewhat nonchalantly while still seated on his lap for some unknown reason. (I was finding comfort in my closeness to him and wasn't prepared to remove myself from this secure place.)

"Cas? Really?"

"Umm… yeah? I thought that you had sent him," I explained while now matching his confused tone as I started to pet his face.

"And wait! Did… uhh… did Toby just call you 'Mum'?" He questioned as the pervious conversations started to slowly sink in.

Toby was busy putting some of the books from his broken backpack into the bag he had retrieved from the laundry room and he looked up at us while laughing quietly. I locked eyes with our son and couldn't suppress my own cheeky laugh, sharing in Toby's amusement. I put out my right hand and motioned for him to rejoin Dean and me, so he dropped both bags and came back over to the table.

"So… uhh… yeah… Dean there have been a few changes since you were last here," I started somewhat awkwardly. "Umm… when Mo thought that she wasn't going to make it through the night, she was determined that Toby should be told the truth and insisted I let her tell him everything… you know about his adoption and his birth parents," I continued to explain.

"Okay…" Dean replied sounding more than uncertain.

I nodded to Toby to give him my silent consent for him to continue the tale, so he turned to face Dean while pulling out the increasingly worn letter out of his back pocket. "But, what they all didn't know was that I had found this in one of Addy's books on exorcisms while she had gone missing… so really I knew the truth all along."

"Oh…" Dean stated while he still sound like he wasn't grasping everything we were saying. Although maybe he was just overwhelmed, but either way, I had never seen that look on his face before so I wasn't really sure how to help him come to terms with this new situation.

Toby leaned in close to Dean's ear and quietly finished by saying, "Thank you for everything that you wrote. It meant a lot, Dad."

Dean leaned back and swallowed hard while just staring at the younger male. Toby and I both saw the moisture in his eyes and Toby looked over at me because he once again afraid that he had done or said something wrong which had upset one of us.

I lightly patted his back and quietly directed, "Hey Tobs, why don't you take your books upstairs while I start dinner and then we can continue this discussion later?"

Toby nodded while remaining silent then did exactly as I had instructed. Once he was through the door and I was sure that he was no longer in ear-shot, I held Dean's face and kissed his lips softly.

"I should have warned you… he's testing out calling the two of us 'Mum' and "Dad' right now because he thinks that it's kind of weird to keep calling us by our first names with knowing who we really are and all… But if it bothers you, I can ask him not to call you 'Dad'. He'll understand and I do too."

"No… no, don't do that," Dean protested lightly. "I just… I really wasn't ready for it… you know ready to hear him call me that," he finished slowly.

"I know what you mean," I agreed while pulling him into a hug. I then whispered softly, "It totally freaked me out the first time I earnestly heard him call me 'Mum' after all the times he's called me it sarcastically over the years."

I kept Dean close to me and while we were still holding each other, Toby came bounding back into the kitchen. When I heard him washing his hands at the kitchen sink, I released Dean's neck and gently slid off of his lap.

"Hey Buddy, could you do me favor and pull the pie out of the oven for me?" I asked as I made my way towards the fridge.

"Sure…yeah. Umm… are we going to have it now?"

"Ooh I totally second that!" Dean eagerly agreed.

"No, we're going to let it cool while we eat dinner. How does pizza sound for dinner?" I stated firmly as I pulled two frozen pizza out of the freezer.

"But Lay…" Dean started to whine from his spot at the breakfast nook.

"Dean Winchester!" I interrupted in a playful assertive tone. "You will not be eating another morsel of food until you bring your bags into the house and take them to your room."

Toby let out an audible, fun loving laugh at our exchange and then sympathetically offered, "I'd be more than happy to help you bring your bags in so that you can eat sooner… if you wanted."

"Thanks Buddy, I'd really appreciate that. Good to know someone is looking out for me," Dean replied with a tone of slightly exaggerated relief while also smirking and winking at me.

As they went out to the Impala, I continue to prepare dinner. Once they were back in the house, Dean reclaimed his bag before continuing to our room. Toby stayed in the kitchen and stood on the opposite side of the island and watched as I put the frozen food into the oven and then I moved over to the cupboard and started taking out a plate for each of us.

"So where should we eat?" He asked while my back was still turned to him.

"I think we've overwhelmed Dean enough with conversation for tonight, so why don't you set up the TV trays in the den? Oh and check if the game is on something like that. But after we're done with dinner, don't forget…"

"Homework… I know, I know," he interrupted sounding slightly bitter and disappointed.

I chuckled softly and shook my head before turning my attention to the garbage pile that had accumulated on the counter. I started to break down the boxes and groaned when I heard the phone ringing because my hands were full at the time.

"I've got it!" Toby called from the den after the first ring. He remained in the other room during his brief conversation and kept his voice low enough that I couldn't even make out with whom he was talking.

He returned to the kitchen at the same time as Dean, so instead of starting with the topic that he appeared to have wanted to discuss, Toby turned to Dean and asked, "Hey Dean? Did you want a beer while we wait for dinner?"

"That would be great. Thanks," Dean replied as he sat down at the kitchen table.

Toby retrieved a cold bottle from the fridge, popped the top off and handed it to Dean then sat on the opposite side of the table from the older man. I rested my elbows on the island and held my chin in my hands, eagerly waiting to have Toby fill us in on the phone call he had just received. Toby however avoided making eye contact with Dean and I by picking at the placemat on the table.

When it became apparent that he wasn't going to offer up that information willingly I asked, "Tobs? Who was it that was on the phone just now?"

"Dad," he replied just over a whisper towards the table top.

"And?" I probed gently because judging from his reaction it seemed like whatever Bill had to tell Toby wasn't the best of news.

"The doctors still don't believe that mom's heart is functioning properly, no matter how many times mom and dad say that it is… so… they want to keep for observation again tonight," he explained with his chin tucked into his chest. He took a moment and then he looked up at the man across the table from him and said sadly, "I'm sorry Dean… but if you guys want to be alone, I can always spend the night at the hospital, if one of you guys would drop me off there after dinner that is."

Dean choked on his beer and when his mouth was empty he put the bottle down and reached over the table to grab Toby's hand and responded, "Buddy, please tell me that you don't think that we want to get rid of you because we really don't. Besides, you and I have barely been able to spend any time together since we first met, so maybe you could put off doing some of your research tonight so that we can you know… just hang out together."

Toby smiled at Dean's answer and then looked over at me with a pleading puppy dog look that he had perfected over the years.

I groaned inwardly knowing that I would cave into any demand from him or Dean (and now it was even worse because the two of them could work on me together now) and asked, "When is the paper due?"

"At the end of next week," he replied while trying not to sound too excited.

"And all of your other homework is done?"

"Yep! I finished everything else on the bus ride home," he answered allowing more of his excitement to show.

I heaved a defeated sigh and accepted defeat saying, "Fine… but why don't you pick a movie with an Aussie actor so that we can at least pretend it's to help you with your research?"

"Really? Awesome!" He exclaimed as he jumped up from the table and ran into the den.

I sighed again and turned to check on the status of the pizza in the oven. I straightened up from having been bent over to look at the bubbling cheese and felt arms encircling around my waist.

Dean kissed the back of my neck and quietly said, "Thanks Lay."

I chuckled and shook my head as I let him pull me closer to his body. "I told you that I was a total pushover when it comes to our son."

Toby re-entered the kitchen and asked (his excitement at not having to do more homework kept him from being phased by seeing Dean and I so close together), "So 'Van Helsing' or 'X-Men'?"

I felt Dean tense up and shudder slightly, so I stepped out of his arms and turned to look around him as I answered Toby, "I think I'm more in a 'X-Men' mood myself Buddy. How about you grab yourself a drink out of the fridge and get the DVD set up, dinner is almost ready."

He just nodded then disappeared once again into the den. I turned back to speak to Dean but got cut off by the timer beeping on the oven.

As I removed the pizza from the oven I said, "Hey… you doing okay Dean?"

"Yeah… it's just umm… that name… it reminded me of…"

He trailed off, but the look in his eyes told me exactly who it reminded him of, so I abandoned cutting up the pizza to walk over and wrap him in a warm hug.

"We're here for you Dean, whatever you need, just let us know."

He smiled, kissed me softly and replied, "Thanks Lay, I know you are… but I'll be fine, don't worry about me."

After one more soft kiss, he then turned, grabbed a fresh beer from the fridge along with the half-drunk bottle form the table to join Toby in the den. He stopped briefly at the doorway, took in a deep breath to prepare himself and asked as enthusiastically as he could, "Who's ready to watch some mutants kick some ass?"


	29. In an Entirely Different Age

It wasn't my first time doing this, but it was my first time getting caught in the act. I cursed my stupidity but I chalked it up to having been off the market for so long and tried to not to let it get to me too much.

I sat at the bar nursing my third martini, nibbling on the olive as my eyes swept over the bar as discretely as possible. I was feeling mildly uncomfortable sitting on the stool in a black halter top (it thankfully covered the scar on my collarbone that was given to me as an 'amazing' gift from a vampire named Rene), jean mini skirt and black cowboy boots because I could feel every other male eyeing me up and down lustfully. Ever since Dean moved in, it no longer felt natural for me to enjoy being eye candy for strangers, but I tried to shake the feeling off as me just being paranoid so that I could try to stay focused on completing the job.

I dipped my olive into the last mouthful of my drink that was left in the glass as I silently contemplated the soundness of my plan. Was this something that I really wanted to do? I had been lucky up until now and had gotten away with my little 'excursions' for a while now and I started think that maybe I shouldn't be pressing my luck and should just pack it in and make my way home.

"Is anyone sitting here?" A charming male's voice with a slight Texan twang asked politely.

"There will be once you sit down," I replied sweetly as I turned to look at him. Once our eyes met I smiled warmly then he made himself comfortable and I downed the last bit of liquid that remained in the glass. _Well he's definitely a looker… Woo no complaints there._

"It appears that your drink is practically empty… Can I order you a new one?" He inquired while pointing to the bartender to bring another round of drinks before he received my response.

I stroked the inner thigh of his left leg and leaned in slightly to reply, "I never say no to a free drink." I lightly squeezed the flesh of his thigh under his denim pants adding, "Especially when it's being offered by someone as good looking as yourself. Please do remind me that I should repay you somehow once I've finished it."

He took a sip from one of the new martinis that were placed in front of us and smirked behind the glass as he ran his left hand up my right leg. He stopped the slow motion of his fingers as he let his hand rest just passed the hem of skirt. When he saw that I didn't object to his advance, his smile grew wider. He then put his glass down and moved his face closer to mine to coyly state, "I'll be sure to do just that."

He somehow shifted his chair closer to my own without standing up or breaking contact with my inner thigh and I could feel my heartbeat quickening at his nearness.

"So what is a beautiful woman like you doing alone in a dive like this?" He whispered into my ear so that I could feel each word tingle on the skin of my ear.

After taking a drink from my martini glass, I stirred it with my olive while I tried to calm my nerves. Once I was confident that I would be able to keep up the act, I shrugged and replied, "I'm guessing I'm here for the same reason as you… I wanted to enjoy a few drinks and hoped that I would run into someone with whom I could kill some time… You know that old story and all."

"I sure do," he agreed as he raised his glass in a warm toast.

As we each took a drink, I shifted in my seat so that I was closer to him and hooked a booked foot around his shin. His hand was still resting comfortably in its new home on my inner thigh. Unconsciously my lips curled into a devilish grin as I took a slow sip out of the chilled glass when I felt his felt his fingers get dangerously close to feeling how 'happy' and 'excited' I was to meet him.

"So Gorgeous… tell me… do you have a name that matches your undeniable beauty?"

I leaned back, placed my drink on the bar and extended my right hand out to somewhat formally introduce myself, "I'm Charlie." As he took my hand I scrunched my nose and explained in a slightly sheepish tone, "Although I'm not sure if you would consider that to be 'beautiful' or not."

"Oh Darling on you it is the most beautiful name that I've ever heard," he responded as he playfully squeezed my thigh and lightly shook my right hand. "And it's an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance Charlie, I'm Deke."

I finished my drink and leaned into him so that I could speak to him in a soft breathy tone, "Honestly, the pleasure is ALL mine… And if you move your hand just a little to the left, you'll see just how appreciative I am that you decided to join me at the bar tonight."

I swear that I could hear the lump form in his throat while the denim grew taught around his thigh as it strained to contain the evidence of his own excitement.

"Addy?" A surprised gruff sounding voice called out from behind us.

I unconsciously flinched and then silently scolded myself for reacting like a rookie fresh from the farm team when I should have remembered that I was a veteran when it came to deception.

"Someone you know Beautiful?" Deke questioned politely as he quickly retracted his hand as he noticed that he owner of the voice was slowly making his way through the crowd towards us.

"No... No, not at all. How about another round?" I tried to recover while signaling to the bartender to bring another round of drinks our way. _Go away Bobby, please just go away. Please!_ I silently pleaded desperately.

"Addy!" He called out again.

"He seems to really think he knows you Charlie," Deke commented as he allowed his concern to show in his tone.

I shrugged dismissively and tapped the edge of my glass with his and continued to pretend that I didn't hear Bobby calling out to me. "I say we toast new friends and a fun filled night."

Deke had to pause a moment, trying to suavely recover from mildly choking on his drink at my statement and asked, "To a 'fun filled night'?"

I smirked, raised an eyebrow and seductively clarified, "Or… you know… 'wild and crazy night' or whatev---"

"ADDY!" Bobby angrily shouted as he grabbed my left shoulder to force me to face him.

"I'm sorry sir, but you must have mistaken me for someone else because my name is Charlie, Charlie Rogers," I replied coolly desperately hoping that he would take the hint from my alias. _Come on Bobby, don't do this, please? I'm so close._

"I don't know what game you're playing at young lady, but we need to step outside a moment and have a little chat… plus it looks like you need a moment to clear your head," he scolded me sounding like an over-protective father that had just caught his underage daughter in a compromising position while drinking with an older man at a bar.

He tightened his grip on my shoulder and I winced as I dipped to the left in an attempt to ease some of the pain I was feeling. Seeing Bobby's knuckles go white as he held my shoulder in a near death grip caused Deke to jump to his feet as he placed his own hand over Bobby's in an effort to defend me.

"Sir, I believe the lady has already explained herself… Now this would probably be a good time for you to leave before anyone does or says anything they might regret," Deke commented in a low severe tone.

Bobby easily swatted his hand away and matched his machismo tone while saying in his own hushed voice, "Well I don't BELIEVE that anyone was talking to you so hit the road… Addy…"

The stranger once again gripped Bobby's hand and I whimpered under the crushing pressure of strong fingers of both of their hands.

"Well I do believe that she was and that's really all that matters," Deke countered gruffly.

Bobby finally eased up on his grip so that he could turn my chin to once again force me to look up at him as tears started to well in my eyes. "What are you doing Koala Bear? Please, look at me… What is going on in that crazy head of yours Adelaide Jones?" He pleaded in a less severe, very tender loving tone.

"Add… Adelaide Jones?" Deke questioned as his eyes turned a gruesome shade of blood shot red and then he inadvertently bore his set of vampire teeth. "You!" He hissed accusatorily before disappearing from our view in the blink of an eye.

Bobby was left standing at my side, completely stunned in silence, so I grabbed his hand roughly off my shoulder and threw it to his side.

"I'm guessing that I'm here for the same reason that you are, but looks like I found him first," I explained with an angry sneer. "And now thanks to you IT has my scent again and I have no fucking clue where its hideout is… AND I only have a few hours to make sure that it's dead before Dean and Toby get home to find me gone."

I whipped out my money clip from its hiding place in my halter top (my anger at the current situation negated any embarrassment that I would normally have felt by doing such a thing in front of Bobby). After I threw a few bills down, making sure that my bill was covered at least two times over, I snatched up my jacket and start to make my way for the door. When I noticed that Bobby wasn't following me, I whipped around then crossly snapped, "Well are you going to help or are you just going to stand there and gawk at nothing?"

He shook his head in an effort to clear his thoughts then replied, "I'm helping Koala Bear, I'm helping. So what do we know?" He asked as he pulled my jacket up over my shoulders to cover my nearly naked back as we exited the bar.

"First we know that I need to get back into my room to change into something that is much more 'hunt' appropriate. After that we can look over my research to look for a pattern," I explained at the door of my car as I haphazardly tossed my jacket onto the passenger's seat.

As I started to dump my weight behind the steering wheel and close my door, Bobby gripped the frame of the door tightly to cease my motion.

"Addy… I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry that I doubted you… But Koala Bear it just looked…"

"It's fine Bobby… just not now okay? We're wasting time on the touchy feely crap… later, alright?" I replied a little too harshly.

"Sure… sure, sorry. But… umm… are you okay to drive there Koala Bear?" He questioned while not being able to or not caring to hide his tender concern.

"YES!" I retorted with a growl as I slammed the door and slipped the car into reverse.

 _Shit… no you're not Addy;_ I scolded myself before I reached the driveway to my motel. Somehow I miraculously made it into a parking spot in front of my room completely unscathed and I watched as Bobby's 1971 Chevelle pull up beside me.

At the nose of my beloved GTO, I took charge once again and instructed him saying, "While I change, you look over the map that I have on the spare bed. There HAS to be a pattern, maybe you'll catch something I missed," I commented over my shoulder as I unlocked the door.

I stepped into the room, tossed the key on the nearby table then stumbled somewhat towards the bed that was the farthest from the bathroom to find my duffle bag.

"Okay, sure Addy… where's the…" Bobby started to reply as he closed the motel room door, but he was silenced by a thump on the back of the head by a figure that had kept themself hidden behind the door.

"What was that Bobby?" I questioned as I turned with a change of clothes gripped tightly to my chest.

After I turned the full 180 degrees I saw that Deke was actually placing the now unconscious hunter down gently onto the dingy floor before turning his attention to me with an animalistic passion clouding the expression on his face. I dropped my clothes and tried to reach into my boot for a syringe that contained Dead Man's Blood, but the alcohol slowed my motion enough that the vampire was able to get the upper hand and he pinned me to the bed.

As he trapped my legs under the weight of his knees and my hands over my head, Deke lowered his face to my hairline by my left ear and took a long deep breath.

"Mmm Adelaide Jones… I've been wanting to find you for a very long time now," he commented into my ear.

"Well I've been around so I guess you're dumber than you look," I replied through clenched teeth as I struggled to get out of his hold.

"Ha ha ha… Jax always said that you had a smart mouth," he stated as he shifted his weight to suit his own unknown purposes but inadvertently gave me the leverage that I desperately needed to help me get free.

While he distracted himself with the scent of my hair, I was able to bend my knees slowly until the balls of my feet were on his chest. He was still absolutely enamored with the scent of whatever shampoo I had bought on sale at the local drugstore, so I pushed his chest back will all of my might. He landed hard on the ground and I scrambled to get my boots off to find one of the coveted syringes. Before I could do so, Deke had recovered and lunged at me. He threw me back onto the bed with so much force that he ripped the tie open behind my neck and the halter top fell off my chest to expose my torso and breasts in all of their glory.

Unfortunately for me, the more I struggled, the more my skirt rod up and my shirt fell to my waist which offered the vampire a view that caused him to lick his lips eagerly.

"Hmm… what's this little Adelaide?" He questioned as he held my hands above my head in one of his and stroked Rene's handiwork with the fingertips of the other. "Now that's not fair… you let someone taste you and you weren't going to let me have any at all."

"Fuck you Deke! I didn't LET anyone do anything! Now get the fuck off me!" I seethed.

"Not just yet Beautiful, not yet," he replied in a soothing light-hearted tone before he swiftly leaned down and sunk his teeth into the scar on my collarbone.

"Ah… Gawd…" I sighed while still trying to not sound too aroused as he bit into the spot that Dean had been using to peak my passion for months now.

He kept the teeth of his upper jaw securely fastened to my body as he used his tongue to slowly lap up the blood that poured from the new wound that he created. His hot, wet tongue touched my skin softly and then was gone, there, gone, there, gone… while he worked at consuming as much blood as possible, I relaxed under his grip and then I unconsciously whimpered at the lack of contact between his warm, moist mouth and my collarbone so that he could lean back and admire his handiwork.

"Mmm… Dirty girl… you actually like that, don't you?" He observed as he licked the remnants of my blood off of his lips and hooked his thumbs under the waistband of my panties to pull them off.

"NO!" I grunted as my knee connected squarely into his groin.

He wavered momentarily, but before I had a chance to fully recover he landed a hard elbow jab into the left side of my rib cage and we both heard a very loud CRACK!

"FUUUCK!" I cursed loudly just as he started to use the left side of my ribcage as his own personal punching bag.

I managed to maneuver my right hand under my pillow as the vampire occupied himself with pummeling my left side. As discretely as possible, I gripped my hand around the wooden handle of the pistol that I had hidden under my pillow as a precautionary measure when I first settled into the room so that I could whip it out as fast as I could.

"Ha ha ha… oh Adelaide," he snorted condescendingly. "Your bullets can't hurt me you silly girl."

"Not… mine…" I gasped. "Colt's." I finished as I squeezed the trigger firmly. His body emitted the same familiar glow that Rene and Pacer's bodies had and I exhaled the breath that I had been holding in anticipation of this ending.

The dead weight of Deke's lifeless body fell on top of mine and I was so relieved that he was dead that I allowed it to crush me. Inevitability hit quickly and it soon became difficult and very uncomfortable to breathe so I started to struggle, to no avail, with all my remaining strength to move his muscular frame off my torso.

"Add… Addy?" Bobby's groggy voice called out from the floor between the two beds.

"Here… Bobby… Help… Can't… Breathe…" I struggled to call out as loudly as my strained lungs would allow.

"Koala Bear!" The hunter exclaimed once he saw the vampire's corpses draped across my body. "Are you okay?" He instinctively asked as he moved the body off of my own and I heard a loud THUD when it hit the floor.

"Better… now…" I answered as I took in a few deep breaths while once again forgetting (or ignoring) my nakedness.

For a brief moment I continued to take in a few deep unobstructed breaths until I felt the cold night air hit my bare skin and nipples. As soon as they twitched at the sensation, my eyes shot open and I crudely pulled my halter top up over my torso so that I could refasten it behind my neck.

"Shit! Sorry Bobby," I apologized as I sat up on the bed and threw my legs over the side to get off of it "Okay, I think we really need to get out of here," I finished while shoving the Colt into my duffle bag and fastened the zipper closed in one swift movement of my right hand.

"But Addy," Bobby started in protest.

"Bobby! Gunshot… Body… We HAVE to get out of here before the cops get here," I explained in a surprising moment of clarity while I allowed the adrenaline to follow so that I could continue my movements without succumbing to the pain that was starting to radiate from my left side.

"You're right," Bobby started to concede as he followed me out of the room. "But… Koala Bear… are you okay to drive home?"

I nodded as I slammed the trunk of my beauty of a car closed. "I'm really just trying not to focus on the pain right now… plus home really isn't that far away, so I should be good. You're more than welcome to spend the night at our place if you want," I offered as I slowly make my way over to him.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think that I'll just hang back here and make sure that everything is taken care of here for you," he answered softly. I could tell that he wanted to wrap me in a warm, relieved hug, but instead he opted for a kiss on the cheek in order to avoid causing me any further pain.

I had enough hormones coursing through my veins that I still wasn't fully conscious of the pain that my body was screaming for me to recognize, so I remained immune to it for now. I then threw my arms around Bobby and said into his chest, "Thanks Bobby! I'm sorry I was such a jerk at the beginning of this." After I pushed myself back to look into his face again I continued, "Please come and visit us all soon. We miss you so much. Plus… if you don't then one of us might just have to go and get ourselves kidnapped to force you to drop by."

He chuckled softly and squeezed my hands that he was now holding at in front of me just below my waist and replied, "You promise that you won't do that then you've got yourself a deal."

We both heard approaching sirens of police cruisers so Bobby gently lead me to the driver's side of my car, opened the door and nudged me into the seat. Before he closed the door he lovingly stated, "You go ahead and get home. I have this all covered, don't you worry about a thing."

I smiled as strongly as I could and replied, "Thanks Bobby. We'll see you soon, alright?"

He nodded then closed my door and took a step back waving to me to encourage me to continue home. Once I was a good distance away, I allowed myself to check the reflection in the rear view mirror and saw Bobby emerging from the room next door to the one I had pre-paid for. He seemed to be speaking to police officers that had knocked at the door. I smiled at my reflection knowing full well that Bobby was more than capable to lead the authorities astray to cover our tracks. I exhaled a relieved sigh and the acute pain of my broken rib short through my chest and abdomen angrily.

"Shit! Okay… shallow breaths Addy, shallow breaths," I coached myself quietly as I continued on my route home.

"Yes!" I inadvertently shouted out loud through the windshield when I saw that the backyard was empty which meant that I still had some time before Dean returned home from his trip with Toby.

After I was parked I silently thanked God that I had some time to get cleaned up before his return. I carefully made my way up to our room, unpacked my clothes and tossed them into the hamper. I never had a need for the outfit I was currently wearing except for rare occasions during a hunt, so I striped it off along with the boots, tossed them into my duffle bag and placed it in its hiding place under our bed.

While I was still dressed only in my underwear, I surveyed the damage that the vampire had executed on my body in the mirror above the sink in our ensuite. The worst of the bleeding had subsided so I refocused my attention on the tenderness of my left side. I applied a small amount of pressure on the bottom rib and instead of it firmly keeping my fingers in place; I felt them dip inward along with the broken rib.

"Fuuuuck! Okay… okay tough girl, it's fucking broken, don't be stupid and make it worse."

I braced myself on the edge of the sink until the pain receded enough that I could once again think somewhat clearly. I let my left arm hang limply while I worked at cleaning and dressing the new bite mark over the old wound and then found a bottle of pain killers in the medicine cabinet. I tapped out six or eight small brown tablets and swallowed them without the aid of water before I even thought of preparing for bed.

After I dressed in a button up men's night shirt, I double checked my reflection in the mirror and let out a soft, somewhat happy sigh when I noted that the damage was completely concealed. I then crawled into bed and laid on my right side so that I could curl into the fetal position in order to fall asleep. Although it was a fairly comfortable position, my left elbow was now resting very unpleasantly on my broken rib, so I grabbed Dean's pillow to cushion the space between my elbow and ribs. Another advantage to cuddling Dean's pillow was that I could nuzzle my face into it and fell asleep while inhaling Dean's scent.

I felt lips touching my forehead softly and then a hand snaked its way onto my hip. The lips moved leisurely to my cheek and then to my lips as the hand worked at freeing Dean's pillow from my tight embrace. I could feel the opposite side of the bed dip even further under Dean's weight as he made himself comfortable by cuddling in closer to me. When his hand hit my ribs so that he could pull himself closer to me, I woke up completely and just barely managed to stifle a scream. However, my eyes shot open in surprise, but Dean didn't notice the look in my eyes because of the dim light as he leaned in to kiss my lips again.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he apologized softly into my ear.

Without moving my left arm, I lightly brushed my nose against his and kissed his lips then replied, "Well maybe you should make it up to me somehow."

He placed his hand on the back of my head to deepen the kiss and rolled me gently onto my back. He once again moved his lips to my ear, not missing an inch of flesh with soft kisses along the way.

"I'd be happy to do that, but I fell that I should warn you… We got home so late that I brought Toby here, so he's asleep in his room right now."

I giggled quietly and stroked his cheek with my right hand. "Okay, I get it. So we have to keep the volume down to a minimum… I think I can handle that, how about you?"

Dean answered my question by engulfing my mouth with his own. I think he had premeditated this course of action because instead of being dressed in his usual nightwear, he was dressed only in a pair of cotton boxer shorts. I traced his naked chest with my index finger while he deftly worked at undoing the buttons on my shirt as I coyly commented, "Why Mr. Winchester, if I didn't know any better I would think that you thought that this was a sure thing."

He had the majority of the buttons undone so that he could easily slip his hand under the fabric to gently grab my left breast in his hand so that he could roll my left nipple between his fingers while he kissed and nibbled the right side of my neck.

"Was I wrong Miss Jones?"

With my right arm I pushed myself up and kissed his chest until my lips found his right nipple so I could suckle it slowly. I could hear him moan as I ran my tongue over it and bit down lightly.

Once I rested back on my pillow he commented, "I'll take that as a no." Then he continued his previous task of disrobing me.

After the shirt was discarded beside the bed, his hands traveled down my sides to work at removing my last article of clothing. When his hand touched my broken rib, I let out a strained groan but attempted to make it sound like it had a hint of arousal in order to cover up the agony that his fingers actually elicited. I held my breath momentarily because I thought that I had blown my cover, but Dean's lips continued to caress my flesh and his hands completed their task so I slowly let my breath out.

He shifted the position of my hips under him then moved his mouth to reclaim his 'spot' before he would fuse his body with mine. I had forgotten about the gauze barrier that now impeded his access to my collarbone so when Dean stopped all of his movement abruptly, I bucked my hips and breathlessly asked, "What? What's wrong Dean? Please… PLEASE don't stop!"

He didn't say anything as a response before he flipped on one of the lights on a nightstand. We were both were temporarily blinded by the white light, but it was Dean that was able to recover first. He was still straddling my body as he glared at my neck and violently ripped the bandage off of my skin.

With the new illumination of the bedside lamp I could see his eyes grow wide at the sight of the fresh scab and emerging blood that formed after the bandage was harshly removed.

"WHAT…" he started loudly but stopped to correct himself so that he could continue in a much more hushed tone, "What… the fuck… is… that?"

"Dean… please…" I attempted to defend myself with a tone of quiet desperation as I threw my hand up over my wound.

His eyes traveled down my body and landed on my ribs where my damaged side was starting to shift from a bright reddish pink to blue purple. Dean no longer seemed to be in control of his actions as his fingers traveled up to the damage with a child-like curiosity. His brows furrowed at the feel of the reaction of my rib when he pressed down firmly.

"OW! STOP!" I shrieked as loud as I could, forgetting that I had promised to keep my voice down for Toby's benefit. "IT'S…" Dean hand clamping over my mouth ceased any further speech in order to keep me from continuing and waking Toby.

"Broken," he finished quietly with a sneer.

Tears were streaming out of my eyes as I nodded to confirm what we both already knew to be true. He rolled off the bed, pulled on his boxers and t-shirt and then paced at the end of the bed.

I stayed on my back trying to calm my breathing through my sobs enough that I would be able to once again ignore the pain that emitted through my body. My right hand slipped slightly as blood oozed out the new bite mark. I sobbed quietly as I got up off the bed and ran into the bathroom to tend to cover the wound once again.

Dean appeared in the doorway and he held his weight up on the door frame in either hand. "I asked you a question! What the fuck is that?" He seethed through clenched teeth.

I wanted to turn around and snap at him with an irritated retort to match his anger and say, "What the fuck does it look like to you?It's a fucking broken rib and a bite from a vampire Einstein!" But when I looked up into the mirror to look at him, I saw tears silently falling down his cheeks. He had his chin tilted towards his chest and he appeared to be avoiding making eye contact with me in the mirror.

I took in a breath to calm myself and explained as I awkwardly taped the gauze with my one good hand.

"Toby found the trail of the last remaining member of Jax's coven… I had to make sure it didn't hurt anyone else," I explained in a calm tone just over the volume of a whisper, so I wasn't sure that Dean would even hear me.

Dean slumped slightly and his grip on the door frame tightened to keep himself in a somewhat upright standing position. I finished dressing my bite and then became hyper-aware of my nakedness, so I searched for something to cover myself with, but I didn't move a muscle to retrieve one for fear of disturbing Dean and experiencing anymore of his wrath.

I jumped slightly when he finally pushed himself off of the door frame and punched the bathroom door as a show of his utter frustration. He then turned away from the room without saying another word to me. I had caught a glimpse of my plush blue robe, so I turned around, pulled it around my body (I kept my left arm pinned to my naked chest because the pain now radiating from it negated my ability to move it to get it into the sleeve) and chased after Dean.

Thankfully I didn't have to go far because I quickly found him sitting on out bed with his head held somewhat securely in his hands. I fell to my knees in from of him, but kept from touching him because I couldn't risk (emotionally or physically) him slapping my hand away.

Just as I was about to say his name to get his attention turned in my direction, Dean's head shot up to reveal his tear streaked face.

"You've been hunting... And you've had Toby helping you to find things to hunt," he said as more of a statement and not as a question in a confused and hurt tone.

I nodded but remained silent as he cupped my face with his right hand and ran his thumb over my lips softly.

"Even though we both promised Sam that we wouldn't after he was gone? Even though we both promised him that we would take care of each other and be a family with our children?" He questioned quietly with a hitch in his voice as his feelings of betrayal dripped off every single word that he spoke.

I nodded again as my face was still being held in his hand and quietly choked out, "I'm so sorry, but I just… I had to…"

He shook his head and dropped his head and hand from my cheek simultaneously which caused me to become silent during my apology momentarily.

"Dean… I'm sorry but when I saw that I had missed one and saw what it was doing to families all around here… I just couldn't live with myself knowing that it would be out there still hurting people. I had to take care of it, I just HAD to. Plus… it had my scent from a fight I had with Jax years ago and I couldn't take the chance that it would come after us or Toby. I'm sorry, I really am… but this is who I am and I don't know how to be anyone else," I apologized though grief-stricken tears as I placed a tentative hand on his thigh so that I wouldn't fall over while kneeled in front of him.

He nodded softly then gently helped me to his feet. He then guided me tenderly to the edge of the bed, pulled back the cover and placed me on the mattress to help me go back to bed.

"You should rest so that you can heal," he instructed in a foreign neutral tone as he pulled the comforter up over my shoulder and gently tucked the covers into my back.

I allowed myself to slump into my pillow and start to force myself to relax until I hear the hinges of our bedroom door start to squeak open.

I pushed myself off of the mattress with my right arm and called out, "Dean… aren't you coming to bed?"

In the light that was coming from the hallway, I could see him shake his head as he stammered, "I… I… I can't… not after you… betrayed us."

He finally left and gently closed the door. I sobbed uncontrollably, forgetting any pain that my jagged breathing or crying might cause, and threw myself onto the mattress and eventually fell asleep while clinging to Dean's pillow for some measure of comfort.


	30. I Could Swear We Were Together

It took me an excruciatingly long time to get changed in the morning because my left arm was practically useless. This wasn't the first time that I had had to deal with a broken rib, but the last time I had this type of injury was over a decade ago and back then I had had my Mum to care for me while I healed. Today, however, I knew that I was on my own, but I tried to not let it bother me because I had made a choice and was more than willing to live with the consequences of my actions… or so I told myself in order to stay strong so that I could get through the day.

After what felt like hours, I finally was dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a long over-sized flannel shirt. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror brushing my long hair as I tried to decide what the best way to style it would be so that it was out of the way. It seemed practically impossible for me to pull it into a ponytail, so I pulled out a black headband from a drawer and slipped it over my head. While it rested around my neck I just stared at myself for a moment while I tried to remember how I got to this point in my life, but I shook off my doubts and pulled it up over my face until it reached its intended location on my head. I sighed at my reflection then turned to face the day ahead with my not so happy partner.

I could smell fresh coffee once I got into the living room, which prompted me to go straight towards the kitchen to have something to eat so that I could devour some painkillers. I carefully reached up into the cupboard to pull out a mug but stopped mid-reach because I found that even stretching my right side caused an enormous amount of debilitating pain to run through my entire torso. Not being one to back down easily, I took a deep breath, grit my teeth and then started to try again.

"Hey! You're up! Geez, why don't you let me do that for you?" Toby's tender voice came from behind me.

I pet his face as he reached easily into the cupboard as I responded, "Thanks Buddy, you're absolutely the best. I really appreciate the help."

His cheeks rouged slightly at my compliment as he continued to help by pouring me a cup of coffee before passing it to me. "Are you hungry? Wait… of course you are! I'll make you some toast so that you can take your pain medication."

I stopped mid-stir as I added some cream to my coffee to ask, "You know about that?"

As he continued to prepare breakfast for me, Toby smiled brightly and replied, "Yeah, Dad told me all about how you got hurt working on Phantom while we were away. If you want my opinion, I think you should leave her to Luke to look after from now on, okay?"

I almost choked on my coffee, but still managed not to show my surprise somehow. "I think that I'll be doing that from now on Buddy, promise."

He smiled proudly in response as he spread peanut butter on the toast and started slicing a banana then carefully arranged the pieces on the toast.

"So… how was the camping trip?" I asked as I pulled a stool up to the island and took as seat while I waited for my breakfast. I was hoping that with this line of questioning I could change the subject before I got lost in the lie that Dean had told him.

Toby passed me his completed creation and replied as I ate, "It was SO awesome! He made all of the other dads look like total chumps! He built the sturdiest tent, the best campfires and told the scariest ghost stories. We pretty much finished every challenge first and I earned the most wilderness badges. Now everyone in my troop wants him to be their dad too. Thanks again for suggesting that he come in Pop's place when he had to go out of town with Mr. Wilson. We had so much fun together… and it gave us lots of time to talk and get to know each other even better."

He came over and hugged my right side and I squeezed him as tightly as I could. "You are more than welcome Toby." I kissed his cheek then said, "I'm really glad that you had fun with Dean, I knew that you would."

"I really wish you hadn't gotten hurt while we were gone," he commented sadly as he placed his head on my shoulder.

Before I could reply Dean entered the kitchen while calling out," Toby! Do you have everything ready? I told Mo I'd drop you off on my way to work."

He looked up from buttoning up his shirt and commented (sounding genuinely surprised), "Oh hey Lay I didn't know that you were up."

Toby kissed my cheek and said, "Take it easy Mum, Chicago is just four weeks away, so you'll want to be feeling better by then."

"Thanks Toby, I'll try my best."

He then turned to Dean and answered, "I didn't unpack last night and just left my bag in the living room I'll run and grab it and then I'll be ready to go."

Dean patted his back as he passed him and quietly said "Thanks Buddy" and then stood at the opposite end of the island from where I sat.

I continued drinking my coffee then tentatively asked, "You're heading into work? But it's Sunday."

"Yeah… the homeowner is getting kind of antsy so he's offered to pay us cash bonuses on the spot for any Sunday that we work. Everyone else has been doing it, so I thought I should go in at least once so that they don't resent me for not helping, you know?" He explained in a very civil tone.

"Yeah… that makes sense… umm… will you be late?" I inquired while trying to keep the quiver that crept up into my voice from turning into tears and uncontrollable sobs.

"I honestly don't know yet… the guys usually grab a couple of beers afterwards and joining them seems like something I should do, so who knows," he replied as he walked towards me and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. "I found these… I think they're from when he got hurt pretty bad a while ago, but he always hated talking pills… I thought they'd help you."

I took the prescription bottle from him slowly and read one of Sam's many aliases next to the title 'Tylenol 3'.

"Thanks Dean, I'm sure that they will."

"Dad also made up a couple of ice packs for you too," Toby announced before he ran over to my left side and kissed my cheek again then continued to the door with his bag in hand to wait for Dean.

I looked up at Dean somewhat sheepishly and whispered, "Thanks Dean."

Dean leaned over and pecked my cheek (although he barely touched my flesh with his lips) then instructed, "Don't forget to take the pills with food. I'll see you later."

Toby watched our exchange from the door and I caught the worried look on his face but Dean continued without acknowledging it (although he may not have noticed it) as he quickly made his exit out of the house. He squeezed Toby's shoulder on his way out the door saying, "We better hurry or I'm going to be late."

"Okay, but…" Toby looked from me to Dean, who was now halfway down the stairs. "But you didn't say 'I love you' Dad." He finished almost inaudibly before calling out "Love you Mum!" to me as he ran to catch up with Dean.

"Love you too!" I called back to him without knowing if he could hear me or not.

It was more than apparent that Dean was still upset, well frankly he was definitely pissed off at me, but it sounded like he wasn't so angry that his tender heart couldn't show through. I went to the freezer and instantly notice that the 'couple' of ice packs that Toby had mentioned were actually six clear plastic bags filled with ice. Dean had in fact made up enough ice packs to last me the majority of the day and my breath hitched slightly at his thoughtfulness.

I pulled one out and curled up on the couch while I try to relax and rest. I turned on one of the movie channels and it was playing a movie with Drew Barrymore, or was it Alicia Silverstone, no wait… well either way, had I not been falling asleep it definitely was a movie that I would have loved to have watched. Today would have been a great day too because the men of the house were out so I wouldn't have to listen to them complain about having to watch a 'chick flick' (not that I asked them to do that very often).

As the movie credits were rolling, I started to wake up out of a deep sleep. I stretched slightly and amazingly enough I remembered not to overdo it and didn't aggravate my broken bone too much. I poured out the water from the plastic bag and left it hanging on the sink's edge to dry. After pulling out a second one, I made myself comfortable on the couch once again.

I flipped through the channels and left it on a random station, not really paying attention to what was playing and just continued to think. As I sat there I came up with an idea that would hopefully help to bridge the gap I had created Dean and I.

" _Good morning Neely's General Store. Bea speaking, how may I help you today?"_

"Hey Bea, it's Addy… uhh I was hoping that you might be able to help me with something."

" _Addy! Darling! Of course I would be happy to help you with anything, just say the word."_

"Great, I hoped you would say that. Umm… Dean's working overtime today with the guys and you know how they forget to eat…"

" _Oh Addy! Look at you taking care of your man. I'll throw together a perfect buffet for you… sandwiches, chips, some fresh chopped veggies… How does that sound?"_

"That's great Bea, it really is. Could you also put together a cooler with some bottled water, juice and all that too?"

" _Of course darling, what's a meal without beverages? Don't you worry about a thing, he will be more than impressed, I promise. All of the other boys out there will want to be him after this meal. I should be able to have it all ready by 1130 at the latest, would that be okay for you?"_

"That'll be perfect. Thank you Bea, I'll see you then!"

I rested in the den for another hour and then I went upstairs to put on some makeup and fix my hair to make sure that I looked presentable. My side was pretty numb from the ice and medication, so I could finally somewhat use my left arm, but as I worked on my hair, I noticed that there was a huge wet spot that ran down my shirt onto my pants.

I really wanted to make a good impression with Dean's coworkers as his attentive girlfriend (because most of them already knew me as the 'secretive chick' from our high school days), so I pulled out a pair of tights and struggled into a knee length tunic top. This outfit looked quite stylish while still ensuring that all of my acquired scars and bruises were hidden.

At Bea's store she had her teenage summer worker pack my car (at her insistence because she wanted to 'get her money's worth'. I of course didn't offer any objection because I knew that I wasn't healthy enough to perform any manual labor right now) and then I was on my way to the construction site. Tom's son Scott was the foreman of this project and I thankfully ran into him first so that I could ask his permission to set up the spread I had bought for everyone. Scott called over another worker to help me carry everything in while he created a makeshift banquet table out of a few sawhorses and pieces of plywood.

"Addy this is incredible, thank you so much. The guys are gonna love this," Scott praised.

"Hey… are you sure that you and the new guy are really all that tight? Because, I mean if I had of known that you were this amazing in high school I totally would have scooped you up for myself back then," my helper teased as he set down the cooler.

"Clint!" I playfully scolded. "You still would have been too late, even back then."

We all shared a laugh and then Scott called all of the guys in for a lunch break. As soon as Dean saw me, the fun loving conversation he was having with one of the other workers ceased and he stopped dead in his tracks. I'm pretty sure that I was the only one who caught the disapproving look on Dean's face, but he quickly put on a bright smile to maintain the façade.

I closed the distance between the two of us and whispered, "I'm sorry… I noticed that you left your lunch at home so I thought that I would surprise you… I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to be a bother."

"It's fine, quit apologizing… the guys will hear you. Come on, it's time to put on the show for them, okay?" He replied as he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple as he led me back to the picnic area.

We remained with the group while we ate and maintained light-hearted small talk with everyone. When we were done, Dean walked me back to my car which of course elicited a number of whistles and good-natured cat calls from Scott's crew. As we walked, I felt Dean tense up with every step we took together.

"Thanks for lunch Lay," he stated in a strange formal tone while looking over my shoulder to check if anyone was still watching us.

He seemed to groan inwardly when he saw that they were and stepped closer to me. I instinctively took a step back because I was somewhat shocked by his action and bumped into the driver's side door of my car.

He flashed a fake warm smile while saying, "Everyone's watching Lay… just go with it, okay? You owe me."

I swallowed hard and nodded then let him kiss me as he pulled me close. From where the guys stood in the distance it may have looked like a warm and loving kiss because I heard some whistles and loud comments of 'GET A ROOM!', but in reality it was as awkward and uncomfortable as my first kiss in the fourth grade. Both of our lips were dry and puckered strangely as Dean raised his hands to grip my hips. It may have been inadvertent, but as his hands moved up my body, his right hand landed forcefully on my rib cage.

I tried to step back and out of his arms, but he had moved his left hand to my upper back. He deepened the kiss slightly to swallow my cries of agony while his right hand applied pressure to my ribs. As I screamed into his mouth I did manage to bite down and caught part of his lip between my teeth.

The maneuver appeared to have had the desired effect because he finally released my mouth, but his hands maintained their hold on my hips as he whispered into my ear, "You should get home and rest. Me and the guys will make sure to get everything back to Bea's for you."

I nodded and resisted brushing away the tears that fell from my eyes because I didn't want the guys to know that I was crying. I then let him help me into the driver's seat and I made my way home.

As soon as I got through the door, I went straight for the prescription bottle and downed four of the pale pink pills before pouring myself a generous sized glass of whiskey that lasted all of two gulps for me to finish. Then I grabbed an ice pack, laid down on the couch and cried silently.

When I woke up, my melted ice pack had been replaced with a fresh one and there was a note pad resting on my stomach.

_"Gone out for drinks with the guys_   
_Shouldn't be too late_   
_I made dinner so don't forget to eat_   
_Dean"_

I held the note close to my chest and let out a small sigh of relief. This proved that he really didn't hate me and still cared somewhat, although I couldn't help but wonder how long he was going to continue to be this upset with me. I then got up and reheated the plate of food that he had prepared for me in the microwave and ate it in front of the TV. When I woke up for the third time on the couch, I decided to call it a night and head to bed.

Getting ready for bed seemed to take me almost as long as preparing for the day had this morning. I crawled into bed and struggled a bit less to make myself comfortable for the night, but suddenly once I was settle, I no longer felt tired or sleepy.

As I laid on my back staring at the ceiling trying to think of a way or ways to apologize to Dean so that I could regain his trust absolutely once again, I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. I held my breath in anticipation, but instead of hearing our door open, I head a distinct THUD of the guest bedroom door being thrown open. I heaved a sad sigh and stayed on my back staring at our bedroom ceiling. I wasn't really all that surprised that I would be spending another night alone in bed, but it saddened me all the same.

"Or not," I said out loud as I sat up and checked the time on the alarm clock. It wasn't very 'early', but it was by no means 'late' either, so got up and threw on a pair of jeans. Without thinking about it, I slipped my nightshirt over my head and thankfully the T-3s were still doing their job and silenced any protests that my body may have been making. Since I wasn't really feeling any pain, I continued to dress as I normally would and put on a bra and form fitting, long sleeve t-shirt that allowed me to look fine enough to be seen in public again.

I opted not to reapply my make up, but I was finally able to pull my hair into a tight pony tail before grabbing my keys and wallet. After slipping on a pair of comfortable tennis shoes, I quietly left our room. When I slipped past the guest room, I caught a quick look at Dean. He had stripped down to his boxers, leaving his clothes discarded in a pile beside the bed, and looked very comfortable gripping a pillow to his chest while he slept.

Now, had I stood to watched him 'sleep' just a little while longer instead of continuing down the stairs, I would have noticed that he wasn't actually sleeping. Instead, he was lying on the bed wide awake gripping the pillow while feeling frustrated and at a loss as he too tried to decide what he should do next to try and fix our relationship.

I also neglected to notice our Yukon parked close to the garage, which meant that Dean really only had a couple of drinks and wasn't completely passed out drunk like I had thought he was. I easily closed the distance between our house and 'Stubby's', Kidder's seediest bar on the outskirts of town, as quickly as my GTO would allow me to get there.

When I stepped in, Stubby glanced up at me and offered a look of pure confusion. "Hey Addy… umm Bill's not here."

In all the years that I had been coming to the bar, it had always been to retrieve a drunken husband for my mum or Maureen… plus Stubby and I had never actually utter any words to one another, so I could empathize and understood his confusion.

"Yeah… not really why I'm here," I replied barely able to hide my amusement.

Stubby was a fifth generation bartender… in fact his name wasn't even 'Stubby', but every male in his family that took over the business inherited the name as well… so he smiled and gave a knowing nod before preparing himself to take my order.

"Could I get a Glenlivet?" I questioned as I stepped away from the doorway and towards the bar.

"Really? I don't get requests for that often… huh if at all," he replied with a raised brow while he turned to find the green bottle on one of the dark shelves.

As he poured the glass, I touched his hand and said, "Then you won't mind leaving the bottle."

He hesitated for only a moment then nodded with a soft smile of acceptance. I pulled out four one hundred dollar bills from my wallet and as I passed it to him commented, "I hope this will cover it."

He swiftly claimed the greenbacks and nodded again with a broader smile on his face. I offered him a nod of thanksgiving, picked up the bottle in one hand and the glass in another and then dumped my weight into a booth.

I quickly made myself comfortable and easily drank my way through the contents of the bottle while telling any guy that dared to try and join me to "Fuck off and find their own bottle." I was beyond upset and just wanted to wallow in self-pity alone so that I could numb every bit of pain that my body and soul had been feeling over the past couple of days. In order to do that I really didn't need any company tonight… well I didn't need help from any random guy, I just needed the bottle and the man who supplied it.

I had always prided myself on not being a sloppy drunk, so to say that I was surprised when I found out that Stubby had called someone to pick me up would be an understatement. However, that being said, I definitely wasn't surprised that he brought re-enforcements with him to get me home.

Dean woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing and without checking the caller ID he answered it with a sleepy sounding, "Yeah?"

"Dean?" Bill asked in a hushed tone. "Sorry to call so late and wake you but… umm… by any chance is Addy at home? She didn't answer the house line."

"I'm pretty sure she's sleeping, but I'll go and check for you Bill," Dean answered without considering the ramifications of his statement. Thankfully Bill wasn't anticipating any domestic distress between the two of us, so he just assumed that Dean had fallen asleep on the couch or vice versa.

Dean checked our room and when he found it empty he continued his search downstairs because he assumed that he would once again find me asleep in the den. The room was dark and the couch was of course empty, so he ran to the kitchen and found his and Bill's fear realized.

"No Bill… she's not… and her car's gone too," he finally stated sounding astonished and somewhat aggravated.

"Crap… Then he wasn't mistaken… I just got a call from Stubby and he says that she's in no shape to be left alone right now," Bill explained sadly.

"Shit! Thanks for the heads up Bill… I'll head out and get her," Dean responded without attempting to hide how annoyed he felt about the situation.

"Son you shouldn't go alone. I'm almost at the house, so why don't you let me drive you and help you out? She can be quite a handful when she's been drinking, plus… someone will need to drive Phantom home," Bill reasoned calmly.

"You're right… you're right. Thanks again Bill," Dean agreed as he sprinted up the stairs to put his jeans and t-shirt back on. "I'll meet you out front in five."

After getting fully dressed, Dean sat outside no the top step for a bit, but when he saw the approaching headlight of Bill's Ford pick-up, he ran down the stairs to meet them. Dean and Bill then rode in absolute silence because Bill was never one to pry and Dean wasn't about to offer any explanations right now, so Bill just left it alone. When they saw my car sitting by the other vehicles in the makeshift parking lot, they both sighed audibly because that sight dashed any hopes that may have lingered that I wouldn't actually be there.

When they walked through the door, they were immediately greeted with the familiar 'over there' nod from the bartender. They both then walked side by side over to the booth that Stubby had pointed to where I had made myself comfortable and then just stood and stared at the scene before them. Bill had seen me this way, once, but he still wasn't ready for what he saw. Dean however felt absolutely sick to his stomach. I had told him about my binge drinking days, but he never imagined the scene to the extent of what he saw tonight and his sorrow threatened to overwhelm him.

By this point I had abandoned the use of the glass, so Bill reached for the bottle as I did my best to tilt the opening to pour the liquid into my mouth while my head was resting on the tabletop.

"MINE!" I protested as I struggled to maintain control of the bottle while only turning my head to see who was interrupting me.

"Addy… Sweetheart… Please? It's practically empty," Bill pleaded softly.

"Then let me finish it," I commented as I pulled it back with as much force as I could.

"Addy… Please?" Bill continued with more desperation showing in his worried tone.

"MINE," I retorted while showing my anger more than any other emotion in my voice. In order to get the bottle back I had straightened myself into a seated position and then I lifted it to my lips defiantly.

Bill made a third attempt to touch the bottle, but I slapped his hand away forcefully, so he slipped out of the booth and looked to Dean for help.

As I struggled to down every last ounce in the bottle, I finally noticed the man standing beside Bill from whom he was silently requesting help. I choked on a mouthful of scotch then somehow remembered that Bill's companion was the reason that I was here, so I refocused my attention back to the bottle and its contents.

"Bill, let me try… Why don't you go and check if we can settle her tab?" Dean offered while passing Bill his wallet.

The older man pushed the black leather billfold back, shaking his head saying, "I've got that covered son, just get her out of there, please?"

Dean nodded then slid into the booth where I was sitting up and picking at the label of the bottle.

"Lay? Oh God… Lay, what are you doing here?" He asked tenderly as he brushed away some stray hair and tucked it behind my ear.

"Psht… what does it look like I'm doing? I'm holding a Bible study," I retorted feeling very smug that I was able to come up with a witty rejoinder so easily.

"You know that's not what I mean," he replied still keeping his tone soft and caring. "I meant, why are you doing this to yourself?"

My numb brain allowed his concerned words to penetrate through the veil of inebriation, but I remained determined to stay mad at him for unknown reasons.

"Like you really care. Why don't you just shove me in the rib again? Oh… wait this (I help up the bottle shaking it triumphantly) will keep the pain away, so I guess you'll just have to wait until tomorrow," I finished my statement then took a quick swig from the bottle.

"Oh God Lay… I wasn't trying to hurt you earlier; I was checking that the broken rib hadn't shifted while you slept. Dad had that happen once… And then when I saw you walking it looked like you might have… Shit… I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to drive you to this," he explained with tears welling up in his eyes.

I pulled the bottle from my lips (mostly because there was no liquid left in it) and stared at Dean silently. Once the bottle clinked onto the table top, he held my face in both of his hands and continued, "Lay, I was upset… to put it mildly… that you lied, but I love you… And that means good or bad, I'm here."

I looked down at my hands then tried to gently remove his from my face, but I struggled to coordinate that move.

"But you didn't come to our room… you don't really care, so don't lie," I finished by trying to throw his hands to the booth, but that motion caused me to fall face first into his chest.

"I'm not lying Lay, honestly I'm not," he replied into my ear while stroking the back of my neck.

I still remained focused on showing him my misdirected anger, so I pushed up off his chest and had to grip his shirt tightly to remain seated upright.

"Yes you are… You hate me but want to stay close to Toby so you keep me around. But don't worry Dean… he would never stop talking to you because of me because you're just too cool a dad and because he loves you way too much… Probably even more than me… So there… You can have Toby without keeping me… It's fine, whatever… I don't care," I slurred out irritably.

"That's not why I've been staying with you," he replied while holding my hands that were still gripping his shirt tightly.

"Well Sam's in Hell Dean, so he'll never find out you broke your promise, so you can go guilt free," I retorted trying to free my hands and push them off his chest, but they wouldn't comply with my wishes and I instead ended up gripping his shirt even more tightly in my fists.

He didn't say anything for a moment but he finally allowed a tear to fall from his eye. Then he let go of my hands and held my chin to look into my tear filled eyes.

"Is that what you think? Lay, I'm not staying here for any reason other than I was to be with you. I don't want to be in a world without you again. I love you. You helped to keep me strong all this time and I need to be with you."

Between the alcohol starting to kick in to overdrive and my free flowing tears, I was having difficulties putting my thoughts into coherent sentences, but I managed somehow to choke out, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean… to hurt you."

He pulled me in closer to him and when I didn't offer any protests he started to slide us both out of the booth. By the time he was out, I had passed out, so he gently lifted me into his arms.

Bill finally approached us again and helped Dean by draping my arms around his neck as he explained, "She paid more than double the cost of the bottle when she came in… I think she planned on finishing the bottle from the get go."

"Yeah, she's kind of a task driven one, isn't she?" Dean attempted to joke.

At my car he fished for my keys in my pocket and I moaned encouragingly, "Mmm… Dean…almost there…"

Bill pretended not to hear me and took my keys to unlock the door to open it so that Dean could place me in the front seat. I squeezed my arms around his neck as he tried to stand up and breathlessly continued, "Don't stop…"

He chuckled softly while reclining my seat back to create more space between us. Once he was free from my tight grasp, he stood up and closed the door.

"Did you need me to follow you to the house and give you a hand?" Bill asked after Dean had turned to face him.

"That's okay; I think I can handle her from here. If nothing else she's completely passed out so, I'll be good. Thanks Bill."

"Okay… but if you need us for anything…"

"I'll call… Believe me. Thanks again Bill, thanks for everything."


	31. And Take Somebody with You

That night was pretty rough and could have most likely been considered a form of punishment for both Dean and me. I woke up about an hour after we returned home and just barely managed to make it to the toilet in our adjoining bathroom in order to expel the contents of my stomach. I nearly smacked my face on the toilet seat and lid when my left arm completely gave out under my weight, but I immediately felt a pair of strong, reassuring hands grip me tightly under my arm pits to save me from falling. I was then able to brace my weight somewhat with my right arm while Dean gently gathered my hair behind my back to keep it from becoming a casualty during my violent attack of regurgitation.

After emptying what I thought was everything out of my stomach, I leaned slightly on the toilet seat while gasping in a few short, shallow breaths. I couldn't help but wince at the pain now radiating from my entire left side of my body because the heaving motion my vomiting required caused more pain than I thought was possible. During this break in the action, Dean got up and ran cold water over a face cloth then joined me on the floor once again. He then gently pulled me into his lap and started to wipe my face with the cold cloth. I slumped deeper into his arms and allowed the coolness of the cloth to further calm me.

"I'm so sorry Dean…" I started to mumble while lying on his lap, almost completely immobile.

"Shh… Shh… Don't worry about that now Lay. We'll talk about it all tomorrow. You just need to worry about resting right now," he tenderly interrupted while brushing my hair back to kiss my temple.

I started to try to say something else, but was silenced by more of the contents of my stomach rising up in the back of my throat. I tried to sit up while covering my mouth with my right hand, but was too weak to get up so Dean helped me into a kneeling position and then I continued to empty whatever decided to come up out of my stomach.

After I had finished, I noticed that I had started to cry uncontrollably. I knew that it wasn't because I was sad, nor was it because my entire left side felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand tiny knives that were on fire, it was solely because I had be throwing up. My body had this ridiculous automatic reaction that whenever I kneeled in front of the toilet to "pray to the porcelain gods" after drinking heavily, I would start to sob almost nonstop which made it more difficult to breath. Dean rubbed my back as I slumped onto the seat and then once again gingerly pulled me onto his lap. He held me close then tenderly stroked my good arm as he whispered words of comfort into my ear. I had turned my face into his chest and after what felt like ages, my tears finally started to subside.

As he smoothed my hair down on the back of my head, Dean quietly asked, "Are you ready to go back to bed?"

I nodded against his chest the hoarsely replied, "I don't think there's anything left in there to throw up."

Dean chuckled softly while he helped me to my feet. I leaned most of my weight against him as I tried to walk back to our room. When he noticed that I was having difficulties moving my heavy limbs, Dean scooped me up into his arms and carried me the rest of the way to our bed.

He placed me as gently as possible onto his side of the bed, ensuring that I was laying on my right side, and then he kneeled down beside me and quietly explained as he lightly rubbed my midsection, "There's a bucket right here for you just in case there's anything else in there."

I tried to reach out with my left hand to pet his face, but cringed at the pain and quickly let it drop to the bed. Dean reached out and stroked my face while I squeezed my eyes tightly and silently reminded myself, yet again, to be more careful when attempting to move my left arm.

After I opened my eyes, I whispered in a painfully raspy tone, "Thanks Dean."

"Here… Try to drink some water," he instructed while guiding a straw to my lips.

I took a few sips of the ice cold water and then was able to speak a bit clearer. "Thanks"

"I'll leave it right here on the night stand for you. The straw should be long enough that you shouldn't have to reach too far for it," he explained as he placed the cup as close to the edge of the nightstand as possible and rearranged its position a couple of times to make it easier for me to access.

I was just about to ask him if he was staying or not when he got up and climbed onto the bed behind me. I felt him move in closer to my back and then he stroked the length of my dead arm and kissed my neck just behind my left ear.

"Try to go back to sleep Lay. I'll be right here… Let me know if you need anything."

When I didn't respond, he was worried for a brief moment, but he soon heard my heavy rhythmic breathing, so he let out a sigh of relief that I had already fallen into a deep sleep once again. I was able to sleep very soundly during the night, but Dean wouldn't admit to me whether or not he was able to get any rest at all. (The dark circles under his eyes told me that he hadn't, so I didn't press the matter much more than I initially did when I awoke.)

I was now laying on my back with my head turned to the left to look at Dean, who was still on his right side petting my cheek while we talked. After questioning him about the quality of his sleep during the night, I fell silent because I didn't feel like I had the right to take the lead after my horrific performance at 'Stubby's' the night before. Despite what anyone tells you, I have never been able to drink so much that I suffered from temporary amnesia (as much as I have tried to in the past), so I still heard my hurtful words repeating in the back of my mind. Each time they echoed, I silently questioned why Dean was still here on the bed with me petting my face adoringly.

"Do you think you can handle trying to eat something? That way you can take something to help you with the pain I know you MUST be feeling," Dean asked while I stared at the ceiling.

I swallowed hard and nodded as I answered without attempting to make eye contact, "Yeah… At least I think so."

He leaned over and kissed my forehead then quietly instructed, "While I'm downstairs you should try to drink some more water, alright? Here I'll help you up."

I again nodded and then he helped me to sit up. Once I was settled, I picked up the glass that had been sitting on the nightstand all night long. I was startled when I picked it up because it was surprisingly still ice cold. I gave Dean a questioning look as I took a sip and he just smirked with a wink and said, "Warm water always tastes gross right?"

Before I could reply, he slipped out the door to make a small breakfast for us. I drank half of the contents of the glass then as I placed it back on the nightstand I reached for the alarm clock to check the time. It turned out that he was actually preparing a late lunch for us, not breakfast as I had originally thought. I didn't want to lie back down, plus my body resisted any big movements that I attempted, so I just stayed in my seated position and threw my head back onto the headboard to rest.

"SHIT!" I cried out loudly because the dark wrought iron headboard was much closer to the back of my head than I had estimated. I gently rubbed the back of my head as the pain from my new injury started to turn into a pounding headache.

"Whoa! I leave you for like five minutes and you're already getting into trouble?" Dean joked as he entered the room carrying in a tray with a bowl of steaming liquid and some toast.

"Just further confirmation that I'm a complete and utter moron," I groaned while rubbing my temples with the thumb and ring finger of my right hand.

Dean placed the tray on the night stand, took my right hand in his and placed it at my side. As he sat beside me, he gently massaged my temples with tips of his fingers of both of his hands. I wanted to close my eyes and let his fingers ease the mounting pain in my head, but the guilt that resided in my gut wouldn't allow me to relax and I instantly felt a new wave of nausea try to over take me.

"Dean?" I asked as I stopped the motion of his right hand (I would have done the same with his left, but I still couldn't raise my left arm that high in order to do so.) "I'm so sorry for what I said to you last night… I think you've gone above and beyond the call of duty, so I should take it from here."

He kept a firm hold on my right hand, smiled softly and nodded while replying, "Sure… No problem. Why don't you grab a piece of toast off the tray there?"

I shot him a quizzical look then started to lift my right hand, but he held onto it tightly and forced it to stay at my side.

He smiled somewhat smugly then ordered, "Do it with your left hand."

I took in as deep a breath into my lungs as my ribs would allow, gritted my teeth, and then as I exhaled I twisted my body and tried raising my left hand. Dean immediately realized that I was going to be defiant (no matter how detrimental it was to my health), so he grabbed my left hand to cease any further movement.

"Whoa there! I didn't mean for you to actually do it. Come on… just relax there She-Ra, you almost popped that rib out of place last night while you were barfing up a lung. Now, we'll talk all about last night… later, but for now just let me take care of you… And I won't take no for an answer," he stated very firmly while passing me a piece of toast.

I took it with my good hand and started to protest, but Dean quickly interjected, "I'm serious Lay. You're tough, we both know that, but you're smart too… So quit acting stupid."

I nodded as I ate the food that Dean had prepared for me as a silent acknowledgement of his reasoning. I then continued to consume my meal in silence and allowed him to help me by holding the soup bowl while I spoon fed myself the warm chicken broth he had brought upstairs. After the bowl was empty and the plate was clean, Dean pulled out the orange prescription bottle from his shirt pocket.

"How's the stomach feeling?" He asked as he struggled with the safety cap.

"Surprisingly… not too bad. Thanks," I replied somewhat sheepishly.

He took out two pills and lifted them to my lips. I complied with his non-verbal direction by opening my mouth so he could place them on my tongue. He then placed the straw from the glass on my lips and I took a long drink so that I could swallow them down.

Dean placed the glass back on the nightstand and lifted the covers saying, "Okay, now you should rest a bit more and then we'll see how you're feeling later so we can talk. Alright?"

I again remained silent even though I really wanted to object to his continued kindness because I didn't feel that I deserved it at all. He then helped me to lie back down and shifted me over back to my side of the bed so that he could lie down beside me.

I rolled over onto my right side so that I could look at him in his spot where he was laying on his left side doing the same thing. He reached out and gently lowered the lids on both of my eyes with his fore and middle fingers on his right hand and good-naturedly scolded, "You can't sleep with your eyes open."

When I felt him remove the pads of his fingers from my eyes, I opened them again and could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I said, "I really am so sorry Dean… and I know I really don't deserve…"

He leaned in to silence me with a kiss and at first I resisted his advance, but then he ran his fingers through my hair as he pulled himself closer to me. I then relaxed my jaw and allowed him to deepen the kiss considerably. He opened his eyes and backed off slightly and I felt his lips curl into a satisfied smile.

"After you've rested we'll hash it all out," he stated slowly while holding my cheek so that I couldn't turn my face away from his steadfast gaze.

"Okay," I whispered reluctantly. I knew that he had made up his mind, so it was futile for me to attempt to argue with him any farther.

Dean then rolled onto his back and shifted his body closer to me until his shoulder was comfortably situated under my head. I shifted over so that my stomach and chest were touching his side and then gingerly slid my left hand over his stomach with some help from Dean.

He leaned down and kissed the top of my head and said through a yawn, "Sweet dreams Lay."

"You too Dean," I whispered with a lump in my throat as I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to sleep.

Later that afternoon, I was the first to wake up, mostly because Dean had started to squeeze my torso tightly while he was sleeping and the pain it caused could not be ignored. He was in a deep sleep, so I tried my best to loosen his grip without waking him. I was completely taken by surprise that every time I was able to loosen his hold, he tightened it even more than it had been previously. I bit my lip to stifle a scream that was rising up through my chest as I struggled with his insistent vice grip, but when I tasted blood in my mouth, I couldn't hold in my anguish any longer.

"DEAN!" I screamed through a sob. "DEAN! WAKE UP! DEAN!"

"What… ? What's…  what's wrong?" He questioned as he shot up into a seated position.

I flopped back onto the pillow and let out a relieved sigh. Dean whipped around to face me then held my head and ran his thumb over my lips when he saw a small amount of blood trickling from my bottom lip.

"Lay? What happened?" He continued with panic overtaking his tone. "Lay?"

"It's fine now Dean," I explained just over a whisper as I tried to block the pain I was feeling from my mind. "You were just hugging me a bit too tightly in your sleep, but no worries, okay?"

"Oh shit… I'm sorry," he apologized while looking down at me with a confused look on his face. "But why are you bleeding?"

"I was trying not to disturb you by biting my lip and well… it didn't work," I explained after I kissed his thumb that had been resting on my lips.

"Shit… sorry…"

He then helped me onto my back while I took slow, deliberate breaths but he remained seated beside me and then took a hold of the bottom hem of my shirt and said, "I'm just going to check on everything to make sure that I didn't screw anything up any more than it already was, okay?"

I was sucking lightly on my bottom lip in an attempt to ease some of the throbbing of my self-inflicted wound and nodded to give him my consent. Dean then very carefully pulled my shirt up and folded it over so that my abdomen and chest were fully exposed.

"Well… the swelling has completely gone down, but… wow… the bruising still looks pretty deep. Man… he sure did do a number on you Lay," he reported while looking away from the damage to my face. "Now… just like before, I do need to touch it to double check on everything… you know by touching it… Are you ready for it?"

"No…" I replied quietly. "But I never am though… so go ahead, do whatever you need to do… Don't worry about how much it'll hurt me…" I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to prepare myself.

"Hey, you really need to stop with all that 'I deserve to be in pain' bullshit, alright? We both know that injuries like this are part of hunting, so let me help you without making it sound like I'm trying to hurt you on purpose to punish you… Alright?" He admonished more forcefully than before as he continued to examine my side with his hands.

"Okay," I agreed just over a whisper. I still had my eyes closed tightly when I felt him start to lightly run his fingers up and down the right side of my rib cage. "OKAY!" I shrieked as I started to giggle and swatted his hands away.

"Oh… sorry… I forgot how ticklish you were." He expressed his regret with a tone of exaggerated innocence and a satisfied smirk.

"Sure you did," I replied with a soft smile as I started to pull my shirt down over my torso with my good arm. When my hand brushed against Dean's helping hands, I let my limb drop to the mattress and allowed him to complete the job.

Dean laid back down on his left side and ran his hand slowly over my forehead down to my cheek and then to the back of my head so that he was holding the weight of it in his right hand. I felt so small compared to him as he towered above me and looked down at me with more than a hint of sadness in his eyes. I closed my eyes and rolled my head so that my cheek was resting in the palm of his hand and then I kissed his thumb softly. He reciprocated by leaning down and placed a delicate kiss on my cheek.

"Are you ready to eat some dinner?" He whispered into my ear.

I turned my head to finally look at him and nodded slowly.

"Alright… here, let me help you up."

Once I was on my feet, Dean led the way and I followed sluggishly in complete silence. I tried to pick up and carry the tray of dirty dishes, but the scowl on Dean's face told me that once again I shouldn't argue with him and stepped aside to allow him to carry it. Downstairs, I sat at the kitchen table without being instructed to do so, but I received a warm smile from Dean which I took as confirmation that it was what he had wanted me to do. He quickly prepared a simple dinner, poured me a large glass of water and a smaller glass of ginger ale and placed them both in front of me before dishing our meals and settling in across the table from me.

He started to dig into his food as soon as he was seated and then it hit me that he probably hadn't eaten anything all day while watching over me. The ball of guilt that I had felt earlier started to grow exponentially, so I let him eat in silence while I sat and played with my meal. Instead of eating, I was trying desperately to plan out what I wanted to say to him and the more I tried to find the words to explain how much I regretted my actions, the less I felt like consuming any food. I finally abandoned the meal all together and put my fork down, but just continued to watch Dean devour every morsel that was on his plate with a sad smile clouding my face.

After a while, Dean's eye caught mine and he took a time out from gulping down his dinner and said, "You should eat something so that you can take your T-3s."

"I know… but the knot in my stomach is making me kind of nauseous. Sorry… But it smells really good."

He nodded while putting his fork down and pushed his plate away. After taking a swig from his beer bottle, he said, "Okay… so I'm guessing that you won't be able to eat until we've 'talked'." I nodded guiltily to answer him to the affirmative. "Alright then… go ahead."

I took a deep breath and then a mouthful of water before I started. "First off… I am SO sorry that I lied to you. It was stupid and selfish not to be honest with you about my need to continue hunting. That is the one thing that I regret the most…"

"Need to continue hunting? This wasn't your first time since… since I moved in?"

As I bowed my head, I shook it sadly and whispered, "No."

"How many?" He questioned as the tone in his voice turned more severe.

"A few…" I responded quietly before I raised my head to look at him. When I saw how upset and angry he looked while clenching his jaw tightly, I tentatively elaborated. "I've gone out every time that you and Toby have had your Father/Son outings."

"Lay…" he replied sorrowfully as he shook his head. "Why?"

"Umm… Well… When I was sitting here all alone one night, I went to go play some games on-line and then I found Toby's folder with all of the news sites and then I found a case close to here and then it just kind of snowballed from there…" I explained sounding more like Toby during his rapid fire interrogations. "I missed it so much… and not just the action, but helping people too, you know?" His eyes softened ever so slightly, but he remained mute so I continued, "It's all I've ever known and all that I've ever done. I really don't know how to be 'normal' and do all the homemaker stuff here at the house like Mo does… I've only ever hunted… Hell up until earlier this year I couldn't even stand to stay in this house and was on the road so much to avoid being here. It's not an excuse for what I did, but I was starting to feel… incomplete since I stopped hunting…"

"You did seem a lot happier after that weekend when we went to go pick up the Yukon… I just thought that it was because you were settling into our new routine," Dean commented dejectedly.

I had started to cry, so I sniffled back a few tears so that I could speak. "No… that weekend I helped the McCoy's with a nasty spirit that came with their new house. I found an article about it and they're close friends with Bill and Maureen, so I figured there was no harm in helping family friends… But when I dug that grave and then salted and burned those remains… I don't know it was like something woke up inside me. But then I felt so guilty that I tried to forget about hunting again… but I couldn't… I sorry I just couldn't, no matter what I did… And then Toby found Deke's trail and I told myself that this would be the last one… I'd have all my loose ends tied up and this feeling would just go away on its own… for good this time…"

"And has it?" Dean asked with a hint of melancholy in his voice.

I stared at my hands again and refused to look at him as I admitted just over a whisper, "No."

We both sat at the table in an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered because I had no idea how else to proceed. "I'm so unbelievably sorry… for everything."

"Does that mean that you want to keep hunting?" He asked in a more neutral tone.

"Umm…That's kind of the problem… I WANT to keep my promise to you and Sam… I WANT to live a normal life with you… but… I just can't shake this feeling…"

"So maybe you shouldn't stop," Dean suggested after another long pause before he took a drink from his beer bottle.

My head shot up and I stared at him completely stunned and awestruck.

"Well, if it makes you happy, then maybe you shouldn't stop… but you just have to be upfront about it, alright?"

I nodded slowly then said, "Okay."

"So… is there anything else I should know?" He questioned calmly. It was probably posed more as a joke then as an actual accusation, but I knew I had to come clean with him to ease my guilt.

"I took the Colt out of the Impala," I confessed in a hushed tone.

Dean hadn't laid eyes on his beloved car since the day he parked it in the garage and covered it with a large black blanket, so I was afraid of how he would react to me touching it. He put his bottle down and I could see his neck turn bright red as his jaw clenched close again. I unconsciously shrunk back in my seat in anticipation of him blowing up at me.

He closed his eyes and then I saw his body visibly relax before he replied, "Well… I guess that it's good that you have it for protection if you're hunting." He paused and opened his eyes then nearly pleaded, "Is there anything else?"

 _Yeah… I swear I saw Sam in the same bar where I was tracking Deke_ , I thought to myself.

"No, that's it," I responded forlornly while staring at my hands that were picking at the table cloth. "But about what I said last night… I don't even know how I can even begin to apologize to you for those horrible, disgusting and hurtful words… I wasn't even mad at you…" I trailed off because my tears over took me and I couldn't get anything else out between my sobs.

"Lay… there's no way you remember what you said… not after you polished off a whole bottle of scotch."

"But I do Dean… Well I remember enough to know that I'm a colossal bitch when I'm drunk," I replied after I had calmed myself down enough to speak properly. "I know that I accused you of not loving me and of using me to stay close with Toby…God… how can you even look at me after that? And then you took care of me… Seriously… I don't deserve you Dean, I really, really don't."

Dean reached across the table and took my right hand in his and squeezed it gently. He took a moment before he attempted to speak because it looked like he was choked up as well.

"I can still look at you because I know that none of what you said was anywhere close to the truth. Toby ADORES you and we spend the majority of our time together talking about you. And… And… He told me all the stories that you told him about me. Even when you wouldn't talk to me, you still told him about the hunts that Sa… the hunts that we completed along with some other experiences that I had no idea you knew about… If that doesn't prove I mean something to you Adelaide Jones, then I really don't know what would," he finished with much more confidence in his voice and never once came close to talking on his usual cocky and condescending tone.

Any conversation about Toby always brought a warm smile to my face (except for the brief period of time when he was being held hostage by that demon whore), so I couldn't help but relax as I reminisced about my time spent with our son.

"Even if he never found out the truth about who we are, I always wanted Toby to know about you… I knew he would love the stories and would feel proud about his heritage if he was ever to find out about it… We may not have been on speaking terms, but that NEVER negated the amazing things that you were doing… Nor did it discount what an extraordinary person you were… and are… I knew there was absolutely no way he wouldn't want to emulate you after you sacrificed yourself to save… to save your brother… Because Dean… You always, ALWAYS proved to be an exception to every single rule we thought existed," I explained while finally being able to hold his gaze with some measure of confidence. "Plus… there did finally come a time when it wasn't a matter of 'wouldn't' talk to you so much as it was 'couldn't' call you, Mister 'I never keep a phone number for more than six months'."

Dean's smile slowly curved into his signature self-assured smirk and I could see him puff his chest out triumphantly before he replied, "You so couldn't get me off your mind… Because you LOVE me… You've probably been obsessed with me all these years… You poor girl."

"Dean… Come on… Stop! I can't laugh right now because it hurts too damn much," I interrupted in an attempt to get our conversation back on track before we both started to become too sarcastic that we would start to mask our true feelings for one another. "But seriously… it's all true… I just couldn't ignore how much I cared about you because every time I looked at him I saw you… There was just no way that I could try to ignore my true feelings, so after a while I kind of stopped trying when I was with him. When I looked into his eyes, I was also reminded that it was absolutely my fault that you weren't… and possibly never would be a part of his life and I just didn't want him to miss out on knowing you even if he thought you were just some random hunter who I liked to tell him stories about… Seriously Dean… I swear it's practically impossible to lie to that kid. He ALWAYS called me on it when I've tried and I always knew that he got that from you."

Dean remained seated opposite me and was completely immobile as a tear rolled out of his right eye. As it traveled down his jaw line, he released my hand and brushed it away with the backside of his right hand. I held my breath thinking that I had said the wrong thing and upset him once again. I pulled my hand off the table and placed it in my lap with my limp left hand as I worriedly watched his movements across from me.

Dean then pushed his chair back and walked over to me with a strange look on his face. He still had a glimmer of tears in his eyes, but I wouldn't describe his expression as being 'sad'. Once he was beside me on my right side, he pulled my chair back, placed one arm under my knees and slipped the other behind my back.

As he lifted me up, all I could manage to squeak out was a confused, "Dean?"

After I wrapped my good arm around his neck, he lowered his lips to mind and maintained steadfast contact with them until he reached the bottom of the flight of stairs.

While he carried me up the stairs, I again tried to question him, "Dean? Are you okay? Please… please Dean, talk to me."

His lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Nope… no more words… I'm going to show you how much I love you."

He then took me to our room and made love to me as passionately as he could without aggravating my injuries any more than they already had been during the night. I may have tried to overdo it and became a little too eager by the third round, but Dean still takes the blame for any delays in my recovery.


	32. I Was Flying so High in Your Perfect Sky

"Mum, leave it alone… Dad and I will carry the bags in," Toby scolded me as I tried to reach into the rear of our brand new Red Jewel Chevrolet Yukon to lift out my suitcase and take it into the hotel. "Why don't you just go in and start checking us in?" He continued to instruct me while gently turning my shoulders so that I was facing the front doors of the large, grey building.

I looked over my shoulder at Dean for support, but he just shrugged and chuckled while saying, "You heard the man Lay… It looks like the two of us will be doing all of the heavy lifting today. You should just go ahead… We've got this covered, promise." He finished with a loving wink.

Before I could attempt to mount any form of protest, Toby gave my upper back and shoulders a gentle shove and commanded more insistently, "Go!"

I then relented and willingly walked into the hotel alone. After I had successfully checked us into our suite, we rode the elevator up to the room in relative silence (today had been a day full of slightly uncomfortable silence compared to our usual chattering about any subject under the sun). Once in the suite, Toby got very excited that he would be staying in a separate bedroom from Dean and I then bolted to it in order to get settled without another word as soon as the door was open. Dean and I shared a soft laugh as we walked to our own room where he placed our suitcases on a bench at the end of the bed.

As I started to unpack, Dean stilled my hands and very sympathetically asked, "Are you SURE you don't want to rest before we go to the game? We have lots of time you know… Plus, we can skip dinner while you nap and then grab something at the ball park."

I flashed him an affectionate smile as I pulled out my toiletry bag so that I could take out my tooth brush and tooth paste. Seeing Dean be so protective without me having my life be in actual life threatening danger still overwhelmed me, but I didn't want to kiss him after having thrown up twice on our ride to Chicago. It was because of this that my first priority was to brush my teeth.

"Honestly Dean, I'm fine… Just let me freshen up and then I'll be ready to go. Don't worry, okay?" I replied as I went into the bathroom with the prerequisite tools for the job.

In the bathroom I reapplied some make-up, brushed my teeth and hair and then I re-entered the room that Dean and I were to share during our mini-vacation. Once I was back in the room I was startled to find Toby seated next to Dean on our king sized bed. He had changed into his favorite Chicago Cubs' jersey and had Poppy's bag that was full of the usual essentials we needed for our time spent at the game at his feet.

"Perfect… Looks like we're all set to go to dinner… Let me just grab my jacket and then we can head out," I said after finishing a glass of water.

"Lay," Dean started with an affectionate yet stern tone. "Toby and I were talking and we think… No wait, we've decided that it would be best for you take a nap and rest up to make sure that you've been able to kick that bug."

By this point I had my back turned to both of them while I picked up my jacket. I'm sure that they must have seen my shoulders shaking when I started to laugh to myself, so I took a deep breath before turning around to face them again to try to mount some form of defense. I gently laid my jacket back down where I had found it and walked back over to where they were on the bed. I knelt down in front of them in a catcher's style position and took another deep breath to prepare myself.

Toby looked down at me with sheer terror showing in his eyes and said, "Seriously Mum… If you aren't feeling well you really shouldn't push yourself."

I placed a hand on one of each of their knees and squeezed them lightly. "Really guys, it's nothing to be worried about, okay? I WAS going to fill you both in about it at dinner, but I guess it's sounding like I should probably tell you all about it now, huh?"

They both turned their heads to look at each other and then Dean turned back to me and crooked one eyebrow while replying, "Yeah, I think you should too… Was it something that you ate? Or was it motion sickness?"

I chuckled softly and stood up because the left side of my ribcage was still tender and that position wasn't helping to keep the uncomfortable throbbing sensation away at all.

"No, it wasn't… Isn't anything like that Dean. I've been feeling like this for a little while now, but I really wanted to be one hundred percent sure about it before I said anything… Then I just got that confirmation today," I explained as both of their brows furrowed into matching confused looks. "Man… This is why I wanted to wait… Okay… Here it goes… I should just tell both of you… I mean there's really no point in beating around the bush because you both deserve to know…" I started to ramble to myself as I commenced pacing in front of them.

"Lay? Umm… You're kind of freaking us out here," Dean commented as he started to get up off the bed to try to pause me while I was pacing back and forth aimlessly.

When I saw him standing, I stopped and said, "No, please sit Dean. I think that that'll make it easier for me… Please?" He nodded then complied with my wishes while still looking very unsure and concerned. "Okay… I think I've it now… Yeah… Okay…" I walked over to Toby, took both of his hands in mine then got down on my knees in front of him so that we were somewhat eye level and asked very hesitantly, "So… Uhh… Buddy… Umm… How would you… Umm feel… You know… Umm… How would you feel about being a big brother?"

"What?" They both asked sounding overwhelmed and dumbfounded.

Dean was the first to recover and tried to speak asking, "Lay? Does that mean… Are you…?"

I was beaming and nodded vigorously as I stood up and pulled my cell phone out of my right rear pocket so that I could scroll through my text messages to the one I wanted to show them and said, "I asked Doctor Wingren to message me as soon as he had the results and I just got them today."

"Do you know how far along you are?" Dean asked as he gently pulled me towards him and placed both of his hands on my stomach.

"Just about four weeks now," I replied as I blushed a little because I knew on exactly which night our second child was conceived. "And before you worry, Doctor Wingren told me that my rib is healing really well and it should be completely healthy by the time that I start showing, so that won't be a complication at all… And as soon as I had my first suspicions that I could be pregnant, I cut out caffeine and alcohol on the spot… Oh and I started on the same vitamin regime that Mum put me on when I was pregnant with Toby."

Dean pulled me close and hugged me tightly with his cheek on my midsection. Toby slid across the bed and wrapped one arm around Dean and the other around me, so Dean and I both moved an arm around his back so that we were all holding each other in a warm hug.

Almost immediately Toby pushed himself out of the embrace and excitedly asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

I laughed quietly and lightly caressed his face and replied, "Buddy it's way too early to tell, but I'll be sure to keep you in the loop about that, okay?"

"I bet it's a girl," he announced confidently. "Ooh! Can I call Mom and Pop to tell them the good news?"

"Of course you can Toby, we've got some time before we have to head out to the ball park," Dean answered while pulling me closer to him again.

"Awesome!" Toby exclaimed when he was halfway out of the door en route to his bedroom.

Dean sat me onto his lap once we were alone in the room. As soon as I was seated on his thighs, he slipped his hand under my t-shirt and started to rub my still firm stomach.

"Our baby is really in there," he stated in awe while unable to pry his eyes from the spot where his hand was moving in a perpetual circular motion.

I kept my right arm around his neck and placed my left hand on top of his.

"Yes, he or she most certainly is," I answered softly.

Suddenly his hand stopped moving as anxiously questioned, "Is there anything that I can do to help you? This doesn't hurt you at all, does it?"

I gently raked my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek so that I could whisper into his ear, "I think that you've 'helped' as much as you can for now. But don't worry Daddy, I'll be putting you to work soon enough, promise."

"Mom and Pop say 'Congratulations'!" Toby called from the other side of our closed door.

I laughed because I knew that he didn't want to barge in on us and find us in a compromising position, so I got up and walked over to the door. After I opened it, I laughed even louder because I found Toby standing there not only with his back turned to the door, but his eyes were squeezed shut and his hands were also covering his ears.

I tickled his sides and asked, "So are you ready to go to the game now?"

He turned around laughing while trying to grab my hands to stop me from tickling him and gasped out, "Yes… Yes! I'm ready to go! Mum… Stop! Stop! Please!"

Dean joined us at the doorway as both of us were calming down from our giggle fest. He passed Toby Poppy's back pack (Toby had already announced that he was going to be in charge of it this trip) and draped my jacket over my shoulders. He then helped me into it and took my hand saying, "It's early enough that I thought we could walk there and then we can cab it back after the game."

"Sounds good to me, how about you Buddy?"

"Umm… Sure… But Mum are you sure that you'll be okay? You know given your condition and all?"

"Toby it's not like I'm dying or anything… And believe it or not this is the easiest stage that I'll be going through," I explained before laughing to myself.

"What's so funny?" They asked in unison.

"Oh nothing… I was just thinking about everything that I did while I was pregnant with Toby… Well all the stuff I did before I knew that I was pregnant last time," I explained as we exited the elevator.

Toby quickened his pace so that he could hold the door open for Dean and I as we walked hand in hand.

"Really? Like what kind of stuff?" Toby asked eagerly

"Umm… For one, I spent my Spring Break with Mum at a haunted spa on a 'hunt vacation' as she always called it," I recounted somewhat reluctantly. I still hated thinking about all the years I had lost with Dean because of our stubbornness. "But as soon as I found out, I stopped hunting all together and took it easy."

"Until you ran away from home," Toby interjected absentmindedly as he was looking into the windows of the stores that we passed along the way.

"No, even then I was careful Buddy. When I left home, it wasn't like I literally ran away or anything… Plus I barely made it to your parents place when Sister Mary Catherine picked me up," I replied while I watched him window shop. Then I turned my attention to Dean and said, "Man, I was so huge back then that I could barely walk. Dean, will you still love me even when I'm so big that I can barely waddle?"

He stopped and held my face while he responded, "I'm sure that it will be really tough, but I promise that I'll try to use my imagination and attempt to remember the days when you were thin and beautiful."

I playfully punched his shoulder and retorted, "Geez thanks a lot! I hope it isn't too hard on you."

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips and more earnestly replied, "I know that you'll be even more beautiful as…"

"Mum! Mum!" Toby called out while trying to find my hand as he kept his eyes on something in the store's window display case.

I turned away from Dean after giving him an apologetic smile and walked over to our son. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder asking, "What's up Buddy? You sound pretty excited there."

"Check it out! It's just like the one that you got me!" He exclaimed in a hushed tone as he pulled out his St Hubert medallion to show me. Then he lowered his voice even more and asked, "Do you think that Dad would wear one if I got it for him?"

I squeezed him close to me, kissed his head and replied, "I know that he most definitely would."

I continued to glance through the window and got a better look at the store and gasped when I recognized it as the same shop where I had bought the matching necklaces that Toby and I were now wearing. I started to breathe normally again when I noticed that it was dark and appeared to be closed.

"Hey you two… Is everything okay?" Dean asked as he joined us.

Toby whipped around and made sure that he was blocking Dean's view of the display case. "Yep, everything is just fine. But, I'm getting kind of hungry… How 'bout you guys?"

I chuckled, but easily followed Toby's lead. I took Dean by the hand and turned him away from the store to continue walking down our previous path as I responded, "Well, I'm eating for two now, so you know that I'm famished."

Dean squeezed my hand then released it to wrap his arm around my waist while I took a firm hold on Toby's hand. The three of us fell into perfect synch as we walked down the sidewalk. Toby then took charge of the conversation and started to fill Dean in on the "Dos and Don'ts" while at Wrigley Field.

Across the street from the gate, the teen continued his lecture, "And Dad, until we get to our seats you HAVE to pretend that your hand is super glued to Mum's because we don't want to lose you in the crowd and all."

I was having difficulties suppressing my laughter because I couldn't tell if Toby was joking or if he was being serious (and for some reason it seem a lot funnier if he was being serious). I then pulled out our tickets from the inner chest pocket of my jacket and handed one to each of them. Toby started to cross the street and Dean immediately noticed that the younger male was no longer holding my hand.

Dean then teasingly commented, "I thought that the rule was that our hands are supposed to be super glued to your Mum's so we won't get lost."

Toby smirked and responded, "Oh no… That's just for you Dad. I've been here before so I know where I'm going and I won't get lost."

He then rushed ahead of us to get into a lineup to have his backpack check before he could continue to another lineup for entry into the ball park. Dean looked down at me with his mouth hanging slightly open and looked stunned at Toby's cheekiness.

I immediately started laughing as I said, "Hey, don't look at me like that… He's your son!"

Dean then allowed himself to chuckle as he released his grip on my hand and pulled me into a side hug as we met up with Toby in one of the lineups for our gate.

Toby was absolutely beaming because he was so excited for Dean and the fact that he had the opportunity be there with him during Dean's first Major League baseball game.

"So Dad are you excited?" Toby asked enthusiastically as we slowly approached the turnstile.

"I sure am Buddy," Dean replied with a hitch in his voice as his eyes focused on my midsection.

The game was a close one, but our Cubs were able to squeeze out a win against the New York Mets. Although Toby easily made it through all nine innings, he completely passed out on my shoulder during the cab ride back to the hotel. While Dean paid our fare, I aroused the younger male and guided him into the lobby.

"Mum? Can we go back to that jewelry store tomorrow?" He asked through his yawning with his eyes almost completely shut as he shuffled through the door.

"Sure we can Tobs… I'll even distract Dean while you buy the medallion for him, okay?" I replied as I helped him to walk to the elevator.

"Cool… Thanks."

Dean rejoined us as we waited for the elevator and gave me a questioning look. Toby was practically sleeping while standing beside us in front of the closed metallic doors. Dean then leaned down and quietly asked into my ear, "What's going on?"

I smirked and led Toby into the elevator and said, "Well Dean… That's for us to know and for you to find out."

By the time we made it back to the suite, Toby had finally woken up just enough that he was now able to walk on his own with some ease. At the room, we parted ways after saying good night to each other and Toby slowly stumbled to his room after refusing any more help.

After I had prepared for bed, I exited the bathroom saying, "I'm just going to quickly check on Toby. I really hope that he was able to make it to the bed before passing out."

Dean nodded then kissed my cheek as he stepped around me into the bathroom. I quietly opened Toby's bedroom door and smiled to myself because he had somehow managed to change into his pajamas, but he didn't make it under the covers of the bed before falling back asleep. I picked up and folded his haphazardly discarded clothing and placed them on top of his dresser. Toby was sleeping so soundly that I didn't want to disturb him at all and figured that he would crawl under the covers on his own if he got cold during the night, so I just kissed his forehead and made my way back to our room.

Dean had already made himself comfortable in bed, but quickly sat up and pulled the covers back to help me into bed once I reemerged into the room.

"So? How's he doing?" He asked while pulling me closer to him once I was on the mattress.

"He's completely out cold and looking so freaking adorable," I commented while Dean pulled my shirt up and leaned down to cover my stomach with kisses.

I ran my fingers through his hair and started to giggle from the ticklish sensation that his lips provoked. Dean then engulfed my mouth with his own and laid down while pulling me on top of his body.

"We're having a baby," he stated sounding dazed after he leaned back onto his pillow while combing the fingers of his right hand through my hair.

I leaned down, kissed him softly and then cuddled into his side and replied, "Yeah… We are… This IS what you wanted, right Dean?"

He squeezed me tightly with his left arm, kissed his head then said, "It most definitely is… You want this too, don't you Lay?"

I was starting to drift off to sleep, but I managed to still hug his torso tightly and responded, "You bet your ass I do."

By the time I woke up the next morning, Dean and Toby had already made themselves at home in what would be best described as the "Living room" of the suite. When I poked my head through the door, they were completely engrossed in some video game. It looked like Toby was trying his best to suppress his laughter while Dean appeared to be becoming increasing frustrated at his inability to keep up with his son on the cyber playing field.

"Why is that damn thing driving backwards now?" Dean grumbled to no one in particular.

"Hey guys… Is anyone else ready for breakfast?" I asked as I started towards them and fastened the belt around my robe and tried my best to ease the tension I could feel in the room.

"Dad ordered room service… Ugh… It just came," Toby answered without shifting his gaze from the TV screen, but nodded slightly to his left.

I then noticed the room service cart beside the door and it look like it was still completely untouched. I started to dish food onto plates for each of us and when I heard both a triumphant cheer and a quiet slur of curse words, I carried over a plate of food to each of them.

"Okay guys… I think it's time that we put the controllers down and had a little something to eat for breakfast," I instructed sounding very maternal.

They both let their controllers fall onto the ground to take the plate and utensils that I was handing them. Before he started to dig into his meal, Dean looked up and stated somewhat firmly, "You better make sure that you have something to eat too Lay."

"My plate is all made up… Don't worry Dean," I defended before I kissed his cheek and walked back over to the cart.

Toby slid off of the couch onto the floor with his plate in hand and changed the channel on the TV to some random show while we ate. As we all enjoyed our early morning meal, we made a rough plan of action for the day. All of us were in agreement that we wanted to do some sightseeing before the game and would see if we had time before the gates open at Wrigley Field to have a proper dinner at a restaurant. If not, then ball park food would do for all of us once again for an evening meal.

We made our way out onto the sidewalk after getting dressed and ready for the day. While Toby was showering, I had taken the opportunity to slip some extra cash into his wallet to help him make the purchase we had discussed the day before. Maureen had told me that he had been doing a lot of extra chores around the house and farm in order to get an advance on his allowance for our trip, but I knew that the price of Dean's present would be far more than what he had anticipated and I really didn't want him to worry. I figured that this way he would still have enough spending money to buy anything else that he might want on the trip while doing something nice for Dean, so it really wasn't me 'spoiling' our son once again I rationalized to myself.

As we approached the jewelry store, I could see that Toby was somewhat nervous and anxious, so I came up with a cover story which allowed me to remain almost completely calm.

"Oh! Hey! I need to pick up some jewelry cleaner… Would you guys mind if we pop in here quickly so that I can pick up some?" I asked while winking at the younger of my two male companions.

Toby immediately appeared to understand what I was trying to do and relaxed instantaneously. "Sure… I don't mind at all… How 'bout you Dad?"

"I have nowhere else to be," Dean replied as he stepped up to open the door for both of us.

I can't say that I was surprised that we were met by the same smiling face that I had been greeted by on my first visit to this store, but I was somewhat shocked when she appeared to remember me as well.

"Good morning! How are you all doing today?" The clerk welcomed us pleasantly while giving a pointed nod of acknowledgement.

"We're all dong wonderfully, thank you," I replied as Toby quickly made his way to the first display case by the window.

I gently guided Dean by the hand towards the back of the store and continued by saying, "I was hoping that you might have something that would help me with cleaning up some long neglected pieces of jewelry that I've just recently found."

"Of course," she responded cheerfully. "I have a few cleaners that can easily break through the toughest of tarnish without damaging the metal or stones on the pieces. Just give me one moment and I'll get a bottle for you."

She then turned back towards the front of the store where Toby was shifting his weight from one foot to the other impatiently. He had already pulled out his wallet and was finding it difficult to contain his excitement. I made sure that Dean's back remained facing Toby's spot in the store while I tried to think of a way to distract him without arousing his suspicion or freaking him out at all. There was a nice display of watches and I was going to question him if any of them seemed like a good present for Bill when I heard, "What do you think of these rings here?"

I quickly whipped my head around from looking at the case with the watches and stared at Dean in complete shock for a moment.

We each had an arm wrapped around the other's waist and he pulled me closer to him and quietly said in my ear, "Don't tell me that you haven't thought about how perfect one of them would look on your finger."

I laughed uneasily and shrugged coyly then replied, "We these ones are a little too flashy for my liking, but these ones over here… Umm they're kind of pretty."

The clerk had easily retrieved the bottle that would fulfill my request, but she was immediately delayed by Toby's quiet voice, "Excuse me Ma'am? I'd really like to get a present for my dad." He nodded towards Dean to further indicate for whom the surprise was intended.

She smiled warmly at the young boy and then looked over at us. I caught her eye briefly and smiled then she looked back at Toby and finally recognized what was happening.

"Did you have anything specific in mind Hun?" She asked in a hushed tone as she moved closer to him.

Toby was worried that Dean would over hear him, so he pulled out his St. Hubert medallion from its place under his shirt and almost inaudibly said, "One of these."

The sales woman smiled and looked back towards the back of my head and had to take a moment when my story played in her memory once again. She then nodded towards the window with her warm smile still on her face. Once she was beside Toby and the display case, she very quietly informed him, "You're in luck... This is my last one." He replied simply by throwing her a relieved smile that spread from ear to ear.

When Dean heard the register, he started to turn around but stopped when he overheard the clerk saying (slightly above a normal conversation tone), "That's very nice of you to buy this for your mom." Then she continued in a much more hushed tone, "It's 54.87 for the necklace."

Toby swallowed hard because just as I had predicted he hadn't anticipated that his gift would cost nearly all of the money that he had brought with him for the trip. However, he was determined to complete the transaction and was completely taken aback when he opened his wallet and saw five crisp twenty dollar bills sitting behind the five and one dollar bills he had been saving up for months. He slipped three of them out and passed them to the clerk. She then handed him his change along with a black velvet bag, by this point the fake purchase had been completely forgotten.

"Thank you," he finally managed to utter as he gripped the small pouch tightly.

"You are more than welcome," she replied while smiling brightly. Dean and I had returned to the front of the store to join them again and she continued, "I hope you all have a wonderful day and come back to visit soon."

We all reciprocated her pleasantries with our thanks and promises of returning as we left the store. Toby was so eager to give Dean the give that was now burning a hole in his pocket that he nearly shouted at us not two steps away from the door.

"Dad! Dad! Close your eyes! I have a surprise for you!"

Dean paused and gave me a questioning look. I just shrugged and pointed to Toby to indicate that this was his plan of action, not my own, so he should be looking to him for further direction. Dean then complied and very slowly closed his eyes.

"Merry Unbirthday Dad!" Toby announced as he closed his father's fist around the velvet bag.

Dean opened his eyes then stared at the object in his left hand almost suspiciously. Toby took a step back and closer to me as we watched Dean carefully open the pouch as we all remained completely silent. When he started to pull out the white gold chain, Toby held his breath while he nervously anticipated the older male's reaction.

Dean had started to tear up when he saw the pendant on the end of the chain, but was still able to choke out, "Thanks Toby."

He then pulled his son into a tight hug as I stayed back and watched the scene from my spot. Dean easily caught my eye and mouthed, "Thank you Lay" while Toby replied, "It's no big deal Dad. But I am glad that you like it."

Dean gently pushed Toby back and said, "I love it son, it's perfect."


	33. Sometimes You Put All of Your Desires in an Object of Affection

"Dean! DEAN! GET IN HERE! RIGHT NOW!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs.

He ran into the kitchen at full speed and stumbled slightly as he tried to slow his momentum.

"What? What is it Lay?" He gasped as he gained his balance and quickly ran to my side. Then he started to survey my face and body for any signs of injury while I just stood there seething. "Are you okay? Is it the baby? Lay? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I started sounding more than annoyed. "What's wrong is that before I went upstairs to painstakingly get ready to look somewhat presentable for this stupid Christmas party, this plate of cookies was full and ready for us to take to the Reno's."

"Oh… That…" He chuckled dismissively as he avoided eye contact.

"It's not funny Dean. We're going to be late as it is and now I have to… OW… redo… OW… it all again," I complained as I slowly removed three Tupperware containers from the fridge while gripping my stomach tightly with my left hand.

Dean quickly grabbed the containers and put them on the island and then helped me to a stool.

"Are you okay?" He questioned sounding completely petrified as he placed a hand over mine that was plastered to the sizeable bump protruding from my abdomen.

"OW… Yeah," I answered as I sucked in a deep breath and pulled the damage cookie plate towards myself. I opened one of the cold cookie containers and explained, "Don't worry Daddy, I'm fine… We're both fine, but someone becomes pretty active when they hear your voice."

Dean then held my stomach while I worked at recreating the masterpiece I had put together before dressing for the party. When he didn't feel any movement, Dean's smile faded away and he started to pout.

I rolled my eyes then held his cheek and said more sympathetically, "He only does it when you're talking and right now you're pretty quiet Dean."

His smile returned instantly and then he leaned down to kiss my belly through my dress before saying, "Hey baby girl! You're mum's still convinced that you're a boy, but I know better."

As if on cue, his words were followed by a fairly forceful kick. I luckily had finished my work and was holding onto the island in anticipation which kept me from completely doubling over in pain.

"OOMPH! See… HE responds most animatedly to your voice," I commented as I started to get up to put the Tupperware where I had found them.

Dean stopped me mid-step by pulling me into a fairly passionate kiss then teased quietly into my ear, "Or maybe it makes HER mad that you keep insisting she's a boy."

All of my previous anger had melted away under his touch, so I pulled Dean closer to me and stated lovingly into his chest, "No… No, it's you. He loves you so much already that he wants you to know it too."

As we stood there holding one another, Dean asked, "Are you sure you still want to go to this party? We could just skip it you know and have a family night."

"Dean!" I scolded a little too forcefully. "I did not just spend over an hour doing my hair and make up to skip this party! Now come on… Let's get going before the magic wears off and I start looking like the fat slob that I am."

Dean scowled at that comment and lovingly asserted, "Lay, you're gorgeous… And you're not fat, you're pregnant and you're showing it off beautifully! But we don't HAVE to go if you aren't feeling up for it."

My demeanor further softened as I replied, "No, I'm alright. Please Dean? Mo and Bill say that this is something that normal couples do so…"

"So, we go. But we don't have to stay late, alright? You let me know if it's too much," he finished as he retrieved my charcoal grey petticoat and draped it over my shoulders.

"Thanks Dean," I replied while he finished helping me into my jacket and then handed me the cellophane covered cookie platter.

As we approached the other parked trucks and cars in front of the brightly lit, festively decorated house my stomach started to feel very queasy. This time I knew that these summersaults weren't caused by the growing life in my abdomen, but instead they were the result of my own nervousness. These were people with whom I had spent my formative years at school and we had ignored each other the majority of that time. None of them had been permitted to know the world that I grew up in, so why would they grant me access into their world now?

_What if they don't? What if they accept Dean but still reject me in the end?_

I was still so lost in my own adolescent insecure thoughts that I hadn't noticed that Dean had parked our truck and was now standing at my side with the door wide open. He cupped my chin and turned my face towards him saying, "Hey, are you sure that you're ready for this?"

I was finally able to shake off the haze by looking deep into his eyes and responded, "Yeah… Yeah… At least I think I am… So long as you're here with me I think I can get through anything."

On our way up the perfectly shoveled, snow lined path to the house I again asked, "Are you sure I look okay? This dress makes me look fat doesn't it? It does… I know it…"

At the top of the stairs Dean took my hands that were clinging to the cookie try and interrupted with affectionate firmness, "You look amazing. You're glowing from the pregnancy and do NOT in any terms look fat. Trust me."

He then leaned down and kissed me to silence any other protests and maintained contact with his lips until we heard a chuckle then an enthusiastic, "Now THAT my friends is how you kiss under the mistletoe!"

We separated immediately as we heard a female's voice say, "Clint! Behave!" She then turned her attention to Dean and I greeting us with, "I'm so glad you two could make it! Come in! Come in! It's freezing out there!"

"Thanks Kathy, I umm… I brought this for you," I very awkwardly explained as I passed her the tray.

"Oh. My. Goodness! Are those your mom's famous shortbread cookies?" Clint's wife asked enthusiastically.

I handed my jacket to our host as I replied, "Well, it's her recipe… Hopefully they taste just as good."

"Oh I'm sure they…" Kathy's eyes went wide as I turned to face her again and her words got caught somewhere in her throat. "Clint… Be a dear and take this to the buffet table," she instructed her husband. As soon as her hands were free they were instantly placed on my stomach as she cried out, "Addy! I had no idea you and Dean were expecting! Congratulations!"

Before I could respond, she grabbed my hand to lead me towards the kitchen where all of the other female invitees seemed to have congregated. I looked over my shoulder to my 'partner' for help because I was slightly worried about how I would handle this situation, but he had already joined a group of his co-workers in order to enjoy a frothy cold beverage (or a few).

"Umm… Yeah, sorry… I thought that Dean had told the guys, "I finally managed to reply on my way to the inner sanctum of the women's refuge at this party.

"Oh those men… They're no good at passing on any information that's important," Kathy answered with a chuckle. "Ladies!" She announced once we reached our destination. "Look who's here! AND she's expecting!"

As soon as she pulled me through the door, all eyes were fixed on me. To my surprise, every single woman in the room leapt to their feet and seemed to be pulled by some supernatural force towards my belly. I couldn't make out half of what they were saying, but I did catch a few 'Oh My's' and 'Congrats'.

After what felt like an eternity, they all backed off and were absolutely beaming. Thankfully, they then turned back to each other and started swapping stories about their last pregnancy or attempts to get pregnant as I heaved a relived sigh and eased away from the group.

"Congratulations Addy," a soft voice stated behind me with slight hesitation.

I turned around and looked into a pair of sparkling green eyes as she continued, "You and Dean are going to be amazing parents."

"Thanks Veronica," I managed to somehow squeak out. "It's been a long time. How are you doing?"

"Well that's mostly my fault… I haven't been one for crowds lately, you know?" The petite blond admitted sheepishly. "But I'm good, really I am. Don and I are on a wait list for one of the best adoption agencies in the country… So God willing this time next year, we'll have a little one of our own."

"That's great Veronica, really it is," I replied without really knowing what else to say and therefore feeling increasingly awkward.

"So," she continued with a twinkle in her eye. "How fare along are you? Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

I smiled softly not wanting to revel too much in the fact that I was going to have a new born soon when she had just been told that another miscarriage could possibly be fatal for her. But, as much as I wanted to play my situation down, I was finding Veronica's excitement infectious, so I allowed myself to get caught up on her enthusiasm for the moment.

"I'm just about five months along… And no… We've decided not to find out about the sex… Although… Dean and I do have a friendly wager on who's going to be right about that. I think it's going to be a boy because all of my cravings are the exact same as they were with Toby, but Dean's convinced otherwise. But… Oh, we have picked out names already," I explained as we took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Really? Can we ask what they are?" One of the other wives asked from across the room.

I looked around the room and noticed that all eyes were once again focused on me once again. I swallowed hard and one of the pack passed me a glass of water.

After taking a large gulp of the drink, I nodded then answered, "Well we've decided that if we have a girl, her name will be 'Victoria Mary'. Dean's beyond convinced he's right so he refuses to discuss a boy's name, but I've decided that when we have our little boy that his name will be 'Samuel Robert'."

This explanation elicited a number of chuckles before the ladies returned once again to their previous conversations.

Veronica was the only one that still remained fixated on watching my every move as she asked, "Victoria… Like your mom? So does that mean that Dean's mom's name is 'Mary'?"

I stared at her, momentarily stunned that she and I were still having such a civil conversation. "Yes… Well it was, but she passed away when Dean was still quite young."

"Oh," she managed to respond without letting her tears overtake her, but she quickly regained her composure to ask, "And 'Samuel Robert'… Where does that come from?"

I forced back my own tears that threatened to form as I told her, "Well Dean's brother's name was Sam and after Dean's dad passed away, our family friend, Bobby, became like a second father to him. That name just seemed really fitting, you know?"

Veronica didn't attempt to hide the fact that what I had told her choked her up as well as she said, "Addy, that's just beautiful! I'm sorry, but I really kind of hope that you have twins now."

I laughed a little too loud and everyone in the kitchen looked over at me with a quizzical look on their face. Through my chuckles, I offered my apologies so that they could go back to whatever they were doing without making them think that they were missing out on anything more entertaining.

"Oh God Veronica! Please, bite your tongue! One is going to be hard enough let alone two!" Mercifully my stomach then growled loudly and I continued, "But speaking of… Now that I'm eating for two, I should go and hit the buffet before this baby speaks louder than I do."

"Oh, of course… Of course! But, we'll catch up later, right?" She asked almost desperately as I stood up.

I squeezed her shoulder encouragingly and quietly answered, "Sure Veronica, of course we will."

As I walked through the door, I shook my head and thought _Wow! So Veronica and I are friends now? Who would have thought?_

At the buffet I ran into Dean, who was obviously not on his first trip to the table as he popped a mini quiche into his mouth and asked, "So, they finally released you so you could eat, huh?"

I chuckled as I prepared my plate and said, "Yeah, this kid of ours is smart and made my stomach growl louder than yours which made them feel guilty for not letting me leave. You know Dean; you might just be right after all because for our baby to be this smart already, it HAS to be a girl." I teased him as I stood on my tip toes to peck his lips. "Mmm… I miss beer."

Dean started to load my plate for me as he snickered and replied, "You must be hungry because you are just talking crazy talk right now. We better get some food in you before you start speaking in tongues."

I flicked my left wrist to smack him in the stomach and whined quietly, "Hey… Dean, come on…Be nice."

When he saw the glisten of tears in my eyes, Dean wrapped his free arm around my waist and kissed my cheek then whispered, "I was just joking Lay. I'm sorry."

I gave him a warm, sincere smile and sniffled saying, "I know, I know. Sorry… Stupid hormones."

He answered by kissing my head again and then placed a few more appetizers on my plate. "I snagged us a couple of seats by the fireplace because I know how chilly you've been getting with the snow."

I squeezed his hand that was still wrapped around my waist and smiled more easily as I replied, "Thanks Dean. I'm just going to grab a couple more things and then I'll meet you there."

He placed a soft kiss on my lips then said, "I'll keep your seat warm."

I continued to load my plate up but stopped mid-reach when I caught the unmistakable odor of Cool Water men's cologne.

"Hey Ads," a soft voice stated from behind me.

I involuntarily shuddered, but I somehow managed to control my breathing just enough so the change in my demeanor remained unnoticed by anyone else.

"I hear that congratulations are in order," the newcomer continued.

"Thanks Don," I quietly replied as I turned to face him.

Don looked down at my stomach and smiled saying, "Well all the rumors were true. Congrats Ads, I know you'll be an amazing mom."

I tried to reply, but my words got caught in my throat. For the briefest of moments I thought that I saw the Sheriff's eyes flash a pure oil black causing me to be frozen in my place.

I must have stood there for too long just staring at Don because the next thing I knew, Kathy was at my feet cleaning up the food that had fallen off my plate and Dean we standing in front of me shaking me gently.

"Lay… Lay…Are you alright?" Dean questioned while he held my face.

Suddenly I snapped out of the haze and smiled answering, "Yeah, but I'm starving Dean. Why…?" I trailed off as I looked around and noticed that everyone was staring at me.

In a far corner, I could hear a few of Veronica's high school friends whispering and rolling their eyes. All of the sudden, I started to once again feel like the outsider I was during our high school days.

Kathy stood up and placed the napkin with my spilled food to one side and took my hand quietly apologizing, "I think we overwhelmed you when you got here. Veronica's made you up a new plate, so why don't you go, sit and eat. I'm sure you'll feel better after that."

I nodded and whispered a 'Thank you' while I allowed Dean to lead me over to the spot he had secured for us. Once he was sure that I was comfortable, Dean passed me my new plate of food and sat down beside me.

I sat there silent and immobile trying to figure out what had happened, which worried Dean even further. He then lifted a sandwich to my lips and gently instructed, "Lay, you need to eat something."

Understanding his concern, I took the sandwich and ate it while putting off my questions until the look of terror faded from Dean's eyes. We spent the rest of the night stationed at that spot beside the fireplace. A few brave souls sat and visited with us but none stayed too long and they mostly directed the conversation towards Dean.

After the third couple made their hasty retreat, I finally convinced Dean that I was tired and ready to head home. Kathy was sweet enough to try to make me feel like I was still welcome, but I knew better… This still wasn't my world.

After Dean had eased our Yukon out onto the road, he placed a soft hand on my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"So… What happened back there?"

I rolled my head away from the window to look over at him then took his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles before replying, "I'm not really sure. I thought I saw… Thought I saw that he was 'Pacer'… Or something… I don't know. I guess Don's face still freaks me out… I'm sorry if I worried you."

Dean's hand slid along my thigh to my belly and he rubbed it slowly in a circular motion.

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize… As long as you two are healthy, then I'm good."

The baby kicked right then as if to confirm that they were in fact alright and we both shared a laugh.

"Yep, we're good," I commented as I placed my hand over his as it continued its motion. "Dean I think I have to spend some time with Don…"

"What?" Dean's hand stopped moving and I could tell from his tone that he was worried. "Why?"

"Toby told me about some stuff that he found and he wanted me to double check on it with the Sheriff. I've been putting it off because… Well you know… But I think I need to so that I can get over this phobia or whatever it is. Then if it is anything I can pass the case off to Bobby." I looked over and saw a contemplative scowl on Dean's face, but he remained silent. "I would just do the research… Plus it would be me facing my fear head on," I tried to reason with him.

Dean refrained from making any comments until he pulled up to our back stairs. Then he turned in his seat and held my face as he finally replied, "If that's what you need to do, then you know I'll back you on it."

I couldn't hide my relief and soon tears slid down my cheeks as I whispered, "It is."

He leaned in and kissed my lips then said, "But I still don't like him."

After a few days, I paid the Sheriff's Office a visit. It turned out that Don noticed the same pattern that Toby had, but he had been too scared to contact me for help. As soon as I stepped into his office I immediately told him the truth that I could only help him if he proved to me that he wasn't possessed by passing my tests. The Sheriff did so willingly and then we were able to get to work.

Since his reports coincided perfectly with Toby's research, I was able to put a pattern together so that I could pass it all off to Bobby to find someone to work the case.

" _In Holy Cross? Yeah, I've heard a few things have been happening out that way Koala Bear,"_ Bobby answered.

"Okay, well then I'll FedEx everything that Toby and I have put together over to you and hopefully it'll help whoever is over there to take care of it," I explained with a relieved tone.

" _You're sending it to me? But aren't you going to head over there?"_

I snorted through a laugh and replied, "No I promised Dean that I'd refrain from hunting… Hell he's even been uneasy with me doing research right now."

" _Really? But I thought that after the incident with Deke that Dean was okay with you still hunting."_

"Oh, yeah he was," I answered dismissively. "But I promised to take it easy until the baby comes."

" _Baby?"_ He questioned slowly.

"Yeah, I'm no good hunting when… Oh shit! We didn't tell you yet," I blurted as the realization that we forgot to call Bobby during our frenzied notification process. "Oh my God Bobby! I can't believe we haven't told you. I was sure that Dean would have called by now. Shit. I'm so sorry that this is how you're hearing about it, but yeah Dean and I are expecting our second baby in about four months."

I heard him sniffle back some tears before saying, _"Addy that's… That's… Congratulations Koala Bear."_

"Thanks Bobby. So… Does that mean you forgive me for forgetting to call?"

" _Of course I do! In fact, I was going to head out to work a job in Illinois tomorrow… How would you feel about me visiting you on my way?"_

"Really? That would be awesome Bobby!" I nearly shouted into the phone.

" _Okay then, I'll stop by tomorrow for that weekend visit I promised you a while back."_

By this time my excitement had manifested itself in the form of some happy tears as I answered, "Perfect! We'll see you tomorrow then."

After I hung up the phone, I began cleaning the house and trying to get everything prepared for Bobby's visit. Since it was the Christmas season, we had been eating out at other people's houses a lot, so we were severely lacking many supplies. I had been trying to ease into my role as 'mother' and 'partner' during my pregnancy and as such I had been trying out my hand at becoming a better cook with a lot of Maureen's guidance. I had finally perfected ONE dish that Dean agreed was now my specialty, but we didn't have any of the necessary ingredients for me to make it for Bobby. So, I wrote Dean a quick note letting him know that Bobby was coming to visit and that I was in town on a supply run.

I had anticipated getting home around the same time as Dean, so I didn't get too detailed about what supplies I was buying. Dean was slightly taken aback when he found the house empty and he had been very vocal about how uneasy it made him feel that I was driving my GTO in the snow. I had tried to ease the tension between Dean and I in regards to this argument by taking Phantom into Luke's to have him put snow tires on her and to have him echo my declaration that my vehicle was safe for me to drive in.

As the hours passed, Dean became increasingly anxious that I had not returned home. Soon each message he left on my unanswered cell phone had shifted from concern to anger.

"Dammit Lay! Answer your fucking phone! I know everyone wants to feel the baby, but come on! Call me! NOW!"

He poured himself another glass of whiskey as he tried to keep his emotions in check so that he could think of anyone else that he could call. Neely's was a bust, Maureen still hadn't heard from or seen me and Dean was starting to think that he might have to call the Sheriff for help.

He sat on the couch while sipping on yet another tumbler of whiskey as he flipped through the channels until he found 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' on a retro cartoon channel. The first time he had watched this Christmas classic was the night that he took me to my Senior Winter formal, so he began to have a change of heart as the memories of that night came flooding back.

"Lay? Baby, please pick up. Forget all of those other messages, just… Just call me back, please? I'm so…"

He ended the call when he heard a knock at the door. He rushed to the door as quickly as he could with the hope that I was on the other side and had forgotten my key.

As he opened the door he said, "Lay… You had me worried…"

He once again fell silent when he saw the person that was on the other side of the door.

"Mr. Winchester?" The Sheriff began while holding his hat in front of himself in a near death grip.

Knowing all of the work that I had been doing with Don, Dean remained somewhat relaxed and answered, "Oh hey Don. Sorry but Lay's not home right now."

The sheriff looked like he was forcing himself to remain calm as he continued, "Yes Mister… I mean… Yes, I know that Dean… That's really not why I'm here."

"Really? Because I can't see why else you'd be popping by," Dean retorted with a tone of pure disdain.

Don didn't let his calm demeanor waiver and he proceeded as if Dean had not spoken at all, "Mr. Winchester… I regret to inform you that there was a terrible accident tonight…"

When the Sheriff paused, Dean jumped in asking, "Accident? What happened? Is Lay okay?"

This time when Don answered there was a quiver in his voice, "No… I mean, they don't know. She's in surgery… They say that you need to get there as soon as you can. My deputy will drive you."


	34. But I Needed to Fall Cannot Have it All

"Oh my God! Marie! Marie! Call 911! I'll go check on them."

Marie fumbled with her cell phone but somehow managed to dial the three numbers that she desperately needed to call.

"Yes… We need an ambulance and… Umm… I think we need the police as well. There's been an accident…"

"Ma'am? Ma'am… Are you okay?" Marie's husband, Vince, asked one of the drivers of the two vehicles involved in the accident.

"Eye-zzz oh-key," she slurred with the scent of Peppermint Schnapps overpowering Vince's senses.

"Shit! Marie! She's drunk!" He called over his shoulder as his wife relayed the information to the Emergency Services on the phone.

While Marie was speaking with the call taker on the phone, she moved around the car in front of their own towards the other one that had been struck by the drunk driver.

"Oh… My… God…" she gasped. "Vince! Vince! It's Addy's car!" She shrieked while completely forgetting that she was still holding her phone to her ear.

" _Marie? What did you say? Please I still need your help,"_ the call taker implored.

"It's… It's Addy…" She mumbles without actually paying attention to the question.

" _Marie… Who is Addy?"_

After having the question repeated to her numerous times, Marie finally heard the woman on the phone speaking and before she could properly answer, she started to cry uncontrollably.

" _Marie… Please, take a deep breath. Please? I know this is upsetting, but I still really need your help here. Can you do that for me Marie?"_ The Emergency Services' worker continued in an attempt to keep Marie on task.

"Sorry… Sorry…" Marie finally apologized. "It's just… It's Addy…"

" _I'm sorry; does that mean that you know the victim? Can you tell me her full name?"_

Marie had started crying again and was finding it hard to speak. _"Marie, please stay with me. Just keep taking deep breaths. The best way that you can help your friend right now is by keeping me up to date, okay? What else can you tell me about what's happening there?"_

Marie sniffled back her tears and replied, "Yes… Okay… I'm sorry… Her name is Addy, well Adelaide Jones… And she's… She's pregnant… Oh God… The baby…"

"Addy? Addy! Are you okay? Can you hear me?" Vince called from the passenger's side after he had broken the window because he couldn't open the locked door.

"Vince? My… My side really hurts…" I managed to reply.

"Okay… Don't move. Help is on the way. Just hang in there."

Although I had heard Vince's warning, I instinctively tried to unlatch my seat belt so that I could try to survey the extent of my injuries. The majority of the impact was to my side of the car, so my left arm was rendered completely useless. I could feel pain radiating from practically every inch of my body, but my mind wasn't clear enough to focus on any precise locations for the source of the pain. I then foolishly kept trying to move until I eventually slipped out of consciousness.

" _ **Ma'am? Can you hear me? Ma'am? The patient is unresponsive!"**_

" _ **Quick! Get the Sawzall over here! We have to get her out of there!"**_

" _ **Say again Mrs. Everett? How far along did you think she was?"**_

" _ **CLEAR!" I could feel a sharp pain in my chest, almost as if someone had punched me with an electric fist. "We have a pulse. It's very faint, but it's there."**_

" _ **Stay with us… Come on keep fighting Addy…"**_

_**Cold air hit my face, but I couldn't feel the elements on any other part of my body. I told my eyes to open, but they remained glued shut. It felt like the stretcher I was on was being pushed through a noisy corridor, but none of the voices sounded familiar anymore.** _

" _ **OR 3 is open."**_

" _ **Her pulse is still very weak and her heart rate is falling fast."**_

" _ **Stay with us…"**_

When I woke up, the room was blindingly bright. As I moved my right hand to shield my eyes, I could feel the undeniable pull of an IV needle in the back of my hand. I looked in the direction of this obstruction and saw a heart rate monitor along with a nearly empty IV bag and some other machines that I didn't recognize.

 _Shit! Okay… You're in the hospital. Think… What the hell happened to get you here?_ I thought to myself while feeling like I had woken up from a drunken stupor.

As I turned my head to the left, my hand brushed against someone's head that was resting on the bed. My left arm was devoid of any obstacles, so I gently ran my fingers through my companion's hair. I hadn't meant to disturb his slumber, but he slowly lifted his head and tried to focus on me through sleep deprived eyes.

"Lay? Lay! Oh my God! You're awake!" Dean nearly shouted as he jumped to his feet and lunged at me to pull me into a hug. "We were so scared! I thought I had lost you too."

"Sorry… I guess this means that I've ruined our chances of having a peaceful visit with Bobby this weekend," I replied while I rubbed his back with my relatively free hand.

He pushed back out of his embrace so that he could look me in the eye and questioned, "Visit with Bobby? What…?" We stared at each other with mirrored looks of confusion and then Dean's eyes went wide with recognition. "Oh… You… You don't know… Lay, you've been out for almost two months."

"Two months? So we missed having Christmas and New Year's together? And our birthdays?" I asked as tears started to fall.

"Shh… It's okay," he replied attempting to console me with another hug. "That's not important. Now, stay still and I'll go get the doctor okay? Just try to keep calm."

He passed me a tissue, kissed my forehead and then turned towards the door to run out and retrieve my doctor. I rested back onto my pillows with my eyes closed as I blotted the tears from my face. I continued to take a few deep breaths and soon my breathing was steadied, but I kept my eyes closed and rested my free hand on my stomach to further force myself to calm down. I must have still been quite dazed because I hadn't once thought to worry about the child that was growing inside of me while I started to rub my stomach absentmindedly as I continued to focus on my breathing.

"Ms. Jones, you had us all worried there for a while," Dr. Wingren announced as he walked over to the machines beside my bed to check my vital signs.

Dean wasn't far behind the doctor and he found a place at my left side again. He immediately picked up my hand and held it tightly but remained silent while the doctor continued his preliminary examinations.

"Your vital signs are looking very good… Actually they are surprisingly strong, but I still think we should do a CAT scan to double check on everything. That way we'll see how your leg is healing, not to mention those poor ribs of yours. We'll be keeping you for observation for a while, but we'll try our best to get you home soon."

Dean leaned in and kissed my temple. I could feel him smiling against my head while he maintained a strong hold of my hand.

"A CAT scan? But Dr. Wingren, I thought you said that we couldn't do that while I was pregnant," I questioned in a perplexed tone.

Dean and the doctor exchanged worried glances before Dr. Wingren nodded at Dean to speak on behalf of both of them.

"Lay… There's… We've… Got some…" Dean was searching for the best way to tell me something. I knew that whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good because as he tried to speak, tears sprang up into his eyes and his forehead crinkled with the tell-tale sign of bad news.

I pulled my hand away from his grip, but before I could question him about anything my left palm hit my now flat stomach again. This time when I rubbed it, I was conscious of the fact that I was no longer feeling the small life that had once occupied that space.

Through tear filled eyes I looked over at Dr. Wingren who offered a solemn "I'm sorry Addy" while shaking his head.

Then I turned my gaze to Dean who had silent tears falling from his eyes.

"No! NO!" I screamed. "NO! He said we would have a baby! NO! It's not fair! NO!"

"Lay! LAY! Calm down!" Dean implored while trying to get a grip on my shoulders.

"NO! Cas promised! He PROMISED!" I cried out. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

As I continued to thrash in near hysterics, the doctor pulled out a syringe and plunged it into my upper right arm. After the clear fluid mixed with the blood in my veins, I started to become more subdued. However, my tears continued to flow freely.

"No," I continue forlornly. "He can't be gone."

Dean started to stroke my hair and he rested his forehead against my temple. "I'm so sorry Lay… We almost lost you too."

He had once again taken my left hand into his, so I gently removed it from his grasp as I curled into the fetal position with my back facing Dean. He of course wouldn't be dissuaded from showing me his affection as he continued to stroke the back of my hair. He then leaned in to once again rest his forehead against the back of my head while whispering words of comfort and encouragement.

"Dean?" I managed to question through my sobs after a while.

"What is it Lay?" He replied softly. "What can I do for you?"

"Could you… Could you leave me alone with Dr. Wingren for a minute?"

Dean looked wounded for the briefest of moments then he smiled anxiously and nodded slowly. "I'll be right outside if you need me, okay?" As I nodded, Dean kissed my head and quietly left the room.

Dr. Wingren pulled up a chair beside my bed and I sat up so that I could speak with him. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop the flow of tears falling from my eyes which impeded my ability to speak.

"You wanted to talk with me about something Addy?" Dr. Wingren questioned feeling incredibly awkward.

I sniffled back my tears the best that I could then asked, "I need the truth Doc… The whole truth. What happened? Not just to… To…" I broke down too much to finish the thought, but the doctor nodded in understanding then moved closer to my bed and held my hand.

"You were hit by a drunk driver that ran a stop sign. The driver's side of your car took the brunt of the impact and they had to use the Jaws of Life to extract you from the car. When they brought you in, you had extensive injuries to your ribs, abdomen and leg." He nodded in the direction of my left leg that was still safely encased in a cast. "You had a compound fracture that required surgery to reset the bone. We also had to use some screws to help keep it straight, so you'll have to be extra careful when going through airport security." I know that he joked at the end to try to ease his own feelings of uneasiness before approaching the topic he knew I really needed to discuss, but neither of us wanted to get into just yet.

I offered a weak grin in an attempt to show him my appreciation for his honesty and stammered as I said, "Dean hates to fly, so no worries there. But… What about…"

When I broke into sobs again, Dr. Wingren passed me the box of tissues beside the bed along with a glass of water. "I'm so sorry Addy. The surgeons and I did everything we could, but there was just too much damage and she wasn't developed enough to endure the blood you lost… Not to mention the trauma. I'm so sorry… I wish I had better news."

He allowed me to cry almost violently until I could ask, "We were going to have a girl?" He nodded as he pulled some tissues from the box and dried my cheeks. "Does Dean know?"

He nodded again and answered, "We… We needed a name for the Death Certificate… He said that you two had chosen one together."

I knew it was just standard protocol, so I tried not to focus on the words 'Death Certificate' the best I could. Although I couldn't help but feel worse because I couldn't imagine how hard that must have been for Dean to have to do all alone. Then after a bit, I chuckled softly to myself through the tears that continued to flow.

"Addy?" Dr. Wingren questioned with fear overtaking his previously concerned tone.

"Sorry Doc, but you said 'she'… That means that Dean won our bet. I was sure that we were having a boy."

He finally allowed himself to crack a smile and he let me cry a little while longer without interruption. Then he walked over to a counter by the door and picked up a small paper cup with two white pills in it. He brought it back over to me and sat down again before saying, "Addy, these will help you to sleep. This is a lot to take in all at once and you need to rest to keep healing, okay?"

I nodded and took the pills from him, but before swallowing them, I asked, "Before I take these, can I ask something of you?"

He guided my hand to my mouth replying, "It can take a while for them to take effect, so I'll promise to answer any questions you have if you take then now."

I complied with his wishes and then opened my mouth to prove to him that I had in fact swallowed them. He smiled softly and then I blurted, "I can't go through this again Dr. Wingren…"

"Again?" He interrupted worriedly.

"Yes sir… I didn't tell you… And I know I should have, but I had a miscarriage months before this last pregnancy after I was… (My voice unconsciously dropped to a whisper) Raped. I went to a doctor out of county because I felt so ashamed…"

"Oh Addy…" he sighed, obviously at a loss for words.

"I know… like I said I… I know I should have told you, but Dean and I worked through it and then everything was fine because we were going to have…" I broke into a sob momentarily before I could for myself to regain composure. "So… I can't… Not again."

The doctor hung his head and I saw him take a slow, deliberate breath before his tear-filled eyes met my own.

"I think I understand what you are saying Addy. I was going to wait until later to tell you this, but the damage to your body… Darling, it was so severe that we don't know if you will ever be able to conceive again. I'm sorry."

I started to hyperventilate, so Dr. Wingren stood up and help my hand as he held my eyes in an even stare. He was just about to speak when I asked, "So… I'll never have to go through losing…"

As I continued to hyperventilate, he uncharacteristically pulled me into a tight hug and said into my hair, "Addy… Sweetheart… As horrible as it sounds, no, you shouldn't ever have to go through losing another baby."

I wrapped my arms tightly around his torso and choked out a heartfelt, "Thank you."

When he stood up straight, Dr. Wingren shook his head sadly then finally instructed somberly, "Adelaide, you should rest now. I'll go get Dean and…"

"No! Please… Not yet. I just… I just need a moment alone. Please Dr. Wingren?"

"Sure Addy, you rest and then we'll run a few tests, go for that CAT scan and then we'll see about getting you home, okay?"

I nodded as I sunk deeper into my hospital bed as I pretended to try to sleep. Once the doctor was convinced that I was trying to rest, he slipped out of the room almost silently. After I heard the door click shut, I hesitated for a moment because I expected Dean to force his way in against Doctor's orders, but when that didn't happen I started to cry with a renewed vigor. I didn't try to stop because I knew that I needed to grieve, for so many things. I needed to grieve the loss of my baby girl (again) and for the hope of a normal life. I should have known that 2.3 kids and a white picket fence was never the life meant for me, even though I knew that that was what I had wanted to have with Dean.

So I cried, heartfelt tears, like I had never cried before. Somewhere between the unending waterworks and my choking sobs, Dr. Wingren's sedatives kicked in and I finally did fall into a deep sleep.

_**When I awoke, the room was still blindingly bright and I raised my right hand to shield my eyes. As I rubbed my eyes, I took in a deep breath. From what I could smell, I was still in the hospital, but my right hand moved without the previous restriction of my IV.** _

" _ **Adelaide?"**_

_**I ceased the motion of my hand and lowered it to my side. As I slowly opened my eyes I said, "So… I'm dreaming and that's why the IV is gone."** _

_**Castiel nodded and walked closer to my bed. "Yes Adelaide, you are dreaming."** _

" _ **And even in my dreams I can't get you to call me 'Addy', huh?" I commented with a chuckle. I slung my legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed my left leg that was no longer in a cast and said to myself, "Yep… I'm definitely dreaming."**_

" _ **Adel… Addy… I can't stay long, but I heard you calling me so loudly… What is it that you need?" The angel questioned as he stepped forward to stand in front of me.**_

" _ **I need you to fix it. For you to put everything back like you did last time," I explained flatly, my tone strangely devoid of emotion. I surprised even myself that I was asking this of him.**_

_**He shook his head softly and replied, "I am not able to do that."** _

_**Castiel turned to walk away from me, so I jumped off the bed and grabbed his arm to force him to turn back and look at me.** _

" _ **Excuse me? You are 'not able to'?" I questioned with a bite. "So nearly a year ago, we were in this very hospital and you were more than happy to re-impregnate me because I was 'supposed' to be carrying Dean Winchester's child. So what's different now? I lost my baby girl and all you have to do to put things right is to lay your hand on me!"**_

_**He cast his eyes to his feet and quietly stated in his monotone, "I am not able to do that Adelaide."** _

" _ **Why not?" I asked as the volume of my voice raised to a near shriek.**_

" _ **I should not have intervened then and I cannot change what has happened now," he explained calmly. Then he raised his head and quirked an eyebrow as he added, "You know… Free Will and all…"**_

_**Before my brain could stop me, my right hand flew up and slapped the angel across the face as hard as I could. "Fuck you Castiel! How dare you throw that back in my face?"** _

_**I know that my striking him didn't hurt, but the angel still raised his left hand to his face to rub his cheek with a look of pure disbelief on his face. He then took a step forward and as he towered over me he commented in a low, stern tone, "It is not the role of angels to intervene in the matters of man, therefore I will not change what has happened."** _

_**We both held our ground as he stared down at me with his unyielding, piercing blue eyes. After several seconds, I reached out my left hand and gripped his trench coat tightly and slammed his back into the wall behind him. Before he could react, I thrust what I what I had been told was called "the Sword of Lucifer" so that its tip was touching the underside of Castile's chin.** _

_**His eyes went wide at the sight of it and he stammered, "Where'd…? Where'd you…?"** _

" _ **MY dream, remember?" I responded with a sneer. As I held him in place I explained, "We've done everything you have ever asked of us… EVERYTHING! And we've lost practically everyone that we love while fighting for you and your kind… And now… NOW you won't intervene? Well FUCK YOU Castiel! You and your Father! If you EVER come near me and my family again, then you won't just be feeling this during a dream sequence."**_

_**I released his coat and turned away while saying, "Now I need to rest, so just get the fuck out."** _

" _ **Adelaide…" Castiel started to say repentantly.**_

" _ **Get out!" I yelled before turning back towards him. "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"**_

"Lay! Wake up! Please wake up!" Dean was shouting over my screams as he shook me gently. "Please Lay… Wake up!"

I opened my eyes and met Dean's terror filled eyes immediately. Before either of us could speak, I threw my arms around him and cried into his chest.

"She's gone Dean and he isn't going to fix it," I told him through my tears.

He held me close as he sat by my legs. He didn't seem to know how to respond to what I was saying to him so he just held me close and softly stroked my hair.

When he didn't reply, I pushed out of his arms and repeated, "Dean… Castiel isn't going to do anything to fix this."

Dean seemed to be stunned momentarily and then he pulled me into his chest saying, "It's alright… We'll get through this together. Now, you just lay back and try to go back to sleep, okay? For me?"

I nodded against his chest and then he lowered me back onto my pillows.

As he started to stand up, I grabbed his arm and pleaded, "Stay with me? Please?"

He nodded then I moved to the right side of the bed to create an open space for him. After he awkwardly climbed onto my bed, I rolled onto my left side and hid my face in his chest while I continued to cry.

"Shh Lay… It's going to be alright," he repeated over and over as tears started to fall from his eyes until I fell asleep. "It's going to be alright."


	35. No I Am Not Open Parts of Me Are Broken

"Lay? Any chance you know where my keys are?" Dean called from the kitchen.

I was just coming down the stairs into the living room before joining him as I calmly replied, "I'm pretty sure they're still in your jacket pocket like they were last night."

"And my jacket would be where?"

I laughed softly, walked up to him and kissed his cheek. "I hung it up on the coat rack that's now by the front door. Sorry, but I did some cleaning this morning because Toby's bedroom set is supposed to be delivered this afternoon.

He gave my waist a quick squeeze. "No need to apologize. Did you need me to come home early to help you with it?"

"No, that's okay. They said that the delivery guys would carry it to the room since it's on the main floor and then you can help once you get home. Toby said he'd walk over after school to help out too."

I placed my head on his chest and held him tightly. We stood there in silence for a moment then Dean commented quietly. "The new place is looking great."

After taking a deep breath to force back a few tears that threatened to form, I pushed pack so that I could look at his face saying, "Thanks. I know that moving hasn't been the easiest thing…"

Dean gently pressed a finger to my lips to silence me and lovingly interrupted, "Hey, I already told you that it's no problem. When you're ready to go back home, we can, but for now I think that being downtown is just fine. Stop apologizing."

"I will… Sor… Okay. Well, here's your lunch, we don't want you to be late," I instructed with a slightly uneasy tone.

Dean kissed me softly while claiming his lunch box. "Call if you need me to come home early, alright?" He paused after picking up his tool belt, waiting for my reply before exiting the room.

"I promise I will. Quit worrying so much."

"You know I won't," he called over his shoulder as he made his way through the living room.

I did another quick check of the main floor to make sure that nothing was obstructing the path from the front door to Toby's room and then I left the house en route to the General Store. Since moving into town, I had started walking more, even though Dean and I had bought a second vehicle. The sun was shining brightly on this warm summer day, but it still didn't keep my thoughts from straying to sadder topics.

_Dr. Wingren had insisted on keeping me in the hospital for a little over two weeks after I had finally come out of my coma because he was concerned about my emotional state after I had had a few nightmares. The day after Castiel's 'visit' had been the hardest one to get through. I couldn't stop crying and they had to put me back on an IV drip to ensure that I was getting some sort of nutrients into my system since I wasn't able to eat all day. Instead, I just stayed in the fetal position, crying uncontrollably for nearly twenty four hours straight._

_Dean had remained dutifully by my side, trying desperately to have me respond to him, but I remained completely mute. Toby had wanted to visit, but Dean was worried that seeing me like that would be too traumatic, so he sat with our son in the hallway where they had a frank discussion about everything that had happened. Toby understood that there would be devastating consequences after I had been told about the death of his sister and he was adamant that he could help to make it all better, but he didn't argue with Dean when Dean insisted that Toby wait before visiting me after this latest blow._

_I remained in a relative funk until Dr. Wingren was able to have me take some anti-depressants. Once I was talking again, he explained that he thought that hormone replacement therapy may be best for my recovery. Since I was starting to feel more like myself now that I was on whatever medications he had me on, I continued to follow his advice without complaint._

_Before my discharge, I set up a schedule of physiotherapy appointments for my leg. It was difficult to get around in the cast, but I knew that once it came off, I would still have issues with walking and I wanted to do anything I could to expedite my recovery. Based on Dr. Wingren's recommendations we didn't rush anything during the progress of my leaving the hospital, which gave us time to find a house in town for us to move into._

_I had woken up one morning and realized that the thought of returning to our previous home was the major cause of most of my continuing anxiety. The idea of walking past the room that was supposed to be Victoria's nursery reduced me to tears instantly. I immediately enlisted Dr. Wingren's help along with my psychiatrist, Dr. Tomkins, to convince Dean that relocating would be the best thing for my mental health. Bill had been keeping his eye on a beautiful house close to the center of Kidder, so he placed a bid on it right away to surprise us when I was finally ready to leave the hospital._

_Dean packed up our clothes and some other personal items, but he hope that one day I would be able to live in the house my Poppy had built, so we bought new furniture for our new place. I found that having the simple task of setting up our new house helped me to keep my mind off everything that had gone wrong over the past year and half. This meant that my recovery went pretty swiftly._

_Dean and I had done a lot of research to find any viable options for freeing Sam from Lucifer's cage, but after my accident I stayed true to my word and did nothing more to be involved in the war that continued to rage in Heaven, Hell and on Earth. Dean was kind enough not to pack anything from that life into our new home, but I knew that he snuck back there to continue with research when he had a chance. I didn't let on, but I also knew that he kept things like holy water, Goofer dust and shot guns filled with rock salt rounds strategically hidden around the house. I understood that protecting ourselves was still important even if I didn't want to be actively involved in the life as a hunter, so I stayed quiet._

_I still laugh to myself about the day I finally got up the nerve to put down a Devil's Trap at the front and back doors. After pulling back the carpet, I immediately saw that someone had beaten me to the punch… Well "someones" had because the design at the backdoor was definitely Toby's handiwork._

"Addy? Sweetheart?"

I had been walking the same route to 'Neely's General Store' for over a month now and I always seemed to daydream on my way there.

"Addy? Are you alright?" Bea's voice started to sound more concerned as she touched my shoulder.

I looked up from my spot on the top stair. "Hey… Sorry Bea. Yeah, I'm fine… I just keep forgetting how quickly I can get here now that I'm not a complete invalid."

She was hobbling with her cane because her left foot was in a cast as she replied while trying to open the door, "Okay… And darling I keep telling you that you don't have to come every day to help me, I can manage just fine on my own."

I claimed her keys, unlocked the door with ease and held it open for her with one hand as I flipped on some of the lights wiht my other hand.

"I know Bea, but it's Wednesday so I figured that I could help take care of the deliveries and restocking of the shelves for you. Plus the house is almost completely set up, so I could really use something to keep me busy. You know, you'd actually be doing ME a favor here."

Despite stating otherwise, the elderly shopkeeper let me take care of all of the tasks that needed to be completed to open the shop while she made herself comfortable on a stool behind the cash register. After my cast came off, my therapists (both physio and physiological) had advocated the benefits of walking for my wellbeing on all fronts as well as staying active. On my daily outings, I had inevitably passed by 'Neely's General Store' and she of course had insisted that I stop to visit each time I passed by. Gradually during my visits, I started to ease into doing a few odd jobs around the store then soon enough visiting with Bea and working at her store became a part of my regular daily routine.

Every day before I started doing any work, Bea would insist that I didn't HAVE to help, but she never took any steps to stop me. After she slipped in the store one day when I wasn't there and shattered her ankle, Bea finally relented and allowed me to do more for her… Well at least she only protested every other day that she was fine and that I was doing too much to help her.

I signed for the shipment and then got to work at restocking the shelves throughout the store. This time of day was always quiet, so Bea had fun grilling me about Dean or Toby or any other topic that she could come up with. Surprisingly, her interest in our lives became my favorite part of the day… It made me feel like I had my mum around to ask the same thing and it always genuinely made me smile whenever I got to talk about my 'boys' .

"Now… Addy… I love you helping me darling… And getting to see you on a regular basis is such a treat… But I have to wonder… Why are you home so much more now than you used to be? You hardly ever talk about having to head out on the road for work anymore."

I continued emptying the box in front of me until all of its contents were placed properly on the shelf while I tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for her. As I broke down a couple of boxes and walked back towards the register, I caught her disapproving, but concerned, look and I felt my heart sink. I placed the two flattened boxes with the pile of recycling and pulled up a chair opposite her at the counter.

"Addy… Darling, we all love you… But it's just such a big change… I worry about you," she continued taking one of my hands in both of hers.

"I know you do… You know how much I love you for it, right? But you really shouldn't worry Bea… It's just that after my accident I realized that my being on the road… For work… Kept me away from everyone and everything that was the most important to me…"

"Your Toby and your devilishly handsome man," she broke in with a playful and teasing tone.

"Exactly… Plus there's also Bill and Mo… I mean, we almost lost her and I wasn't even here… well wasn't here enough. So, I'm done… Done wasting time being away from them and hopefully they won't get sick of me any time soon," I explained with my voice becoming more timid.

During this explanation I had tilted my head down to stare at Bea's hand that was now stroking my own. She used her bent index finger to lift my chin up to for eye contact. She then stroked my cheek and stated with loving firmness, "They… We could never get sick of having your beautiful face around here on a more frequent basis. Now, I believe I'm owed a rematch after that last Cribbage game."

I chuckled softly and with an earnest smile in my tone replied, "I'll go get the board."

As we played a few customers came and went… Some lingered to catch up, pass on their (awkward) condolences, whereas others shopped quickly and only stopped their momentum to pay. The two of us passed the time quickly and I only stole the rarest glance at my phone to check on our delivery at home.

After my third innocent check, Bea kindly admonished, "Addy, if there is somewhere you need to be I've already told you that I'm just fine here on my own."

"Oh goodness Bea, it's so not that," I retorted repentantly as I stuffed my phone deep in my pocket. "Dean and I are expecting a delivery and they're supposed to call, but I was honestly just checking the time."

"Well Darling if you need to be at home…"

"NO! Honestly I would probably go stir crazy there right now… I would rather wait it out with you," I interrupted quickly.

"Alright… But I'll deal the next hand to keep you from cheating," she joked with a wink.

As hard as I tried to let Bea win a few rounds, she kept dealing me hands that were too good to throw. I checked my phone one last time and I saw that I had a text from the furniture company's automated system stating that our truck was en route. I had told myself that I would head home then because that would give me enough time to get home on foot and meet them.

"Bea… I'm sorry to take off in the middle of a game, but they're on their way to the house," I explained.

With a bright smile and a dismissive wave of her hand, Bea replied, "No worries Darling… You head off." As I stood she grasped my wrist to add, "But we'll have a rematch tomorrow?"

It sounded more like a desperate request than a statement, so I smiled warmly and said, "I'm sure that can be arranged."

I made my somewhat hasty retreat home with the expectation that I would make it there quickly, but on the path to our house I was stopped by one of our new neighbors. He was out on a run and halted me with a few shouts of "Addy! Addy! Wait up!" from half a block away.

I quickly stole a glance at the clock on my phone before I stopped and turned with a forced smile saying, "Hey Sid… What's up?"

He jogged up to where I was standing and answered, "How are you doing? Is everything okay with you and Dean?"

He had a faint hint of true fear in his tone so I slightly over compensated to appease him while countering, "Yeah… Yeah, everything is great. Well pretty great with us… Why do you ask?"

"Oh… I guess it's nothing, but Dean… He has…" He dipped in closer and lowered his voice even though we were the only people on the empty street. "He has a hand gun. Is that safe with Toby staying with you so much if Dean has guns in the house?"

I gently touched his arm and lightheartedly chuckled, "Yeah… Toby has been taught about handgun safety. Really Sid, he knows not to touch it… But thank you for your concern."

Without giving a second thought as to why Sid might be worried about Dean owning a handgun, I turned to go back to my original path. Sid's hand shot out to grab my arm and then he breathlessly added, "But Addy…He… He almost shot a dog that ran out of the Glickman's garage… Are you SURE that everything's okay?"

I swallowed hard and then gave him my full attention while I hoarsely questioned, "Pardon? Dean did what now?"`

"He nearly shot the Glickman's dog… Then I think he mumbled something about… Wait, what was it… Sulfur? Yeah he was saying something weird about sulfur when I left him," our neighbor clarified in a confused but concerned tone.

After a couple of quick breaths to cover my apprehension, I answered, "Oh… I'm sure it's nothing to worry about Sid, but I'll make sure to talk to Dean about it, okay? I don't want Toby to think that guns are a toy and all. Thanks for telling me about this and I'll take care of it, promise."

"Oh… Okay… But if I can help, you'll let me know, right? We're just next door if you need us," he finished awkwardly before finishing his run.

I clinched my fists as I walked home to remind myself that I shouldn't run home to an empty house when I knew that I had to maintain a calm demeanor. Luckily for Dean, my phone rang three doors away from our house to announce that the delivery had arrived. As I hurried home, my attention refocused on our son and making sure that our new house made him as comfortable as possible.

After the movers placed the last of the boxes in Toby's room, I worked at putting everything together. Without looking at a clock, I knew that I had been working on Toby's bedroom set for longer than I should have been all by myself. The majority of the work was done so I decided to take a break and find out where Toby had disappeared to after school.

I poured myself a glass of water and was about to dial Toby's cell number when the land line phone at the house rang.

"Toby? Where are you?"

" _Sorry Mum. Pop picked me up after school because a spot opened up at that conference that Mr. Wilson wanted him to go to, so he and Mom thought that I could spend a couple of nights with you and dad while they're away, but I had to pack and I know you probably worried, so I should have called…"_

I could tell that Toby wasn't going to take a breath during his run-on explanation, so I just jumped in saying, "It's okay Buddy. It would have been nice if you had of called, but no worries. What time will you be here then?"

" _Well they both need to pack and Pop has to get some of his blueprints and stuff together… So maybe an hour?"_

"Perfect! Dean should be home by then and I'll have your room done too."

" _Really? Awesome! Thanks Mum! I'll see you then!"_

I replaced the phone then went out to the garage to retrieve a few tools to make completing my job easier. As soon as I stepped out of the kitchen door, I saw Dean's pickup in the driveway and the door to the garage was open. By this point I was too tired to really get into an argument with him about being so reckless in front of our neighbor, so I pushed that into the back of my mind for later. As I approached the door, I could hear the trunk of the Impala open but by the time I stepped through the door, Dean had his car recovered and was rummaging through our toolbox instead.

Now I KNEW something was going on, but Dean obviously wasn't going to be honest with me about everything. This thought really got my blood boiling, so after gaining a second wind I started my interrogation using a calm tone that sounded sincere, "Hey… You're home early… How was your day sweetheart?"

"Pretty good… I was just grabbing a few tools before heading in to help you."

"Great. So… Nothing interesting happened today at all?" I continued still trying to sound like I didn't want to fight.

"Nope. Why do you ask?" He questioned dismissively.

"Oh… So that wasn't you that Sid saw when you were about to unload a few rounds into the Glickman's Yorkie?"

Dean turned away from the toolbox slowly and was met by my unimpressed, scowling face. He remained silent and I clenched my folded arms closer to my chest as I tried to remain calm. "So you didn't find sulfur there either then," I stated as anger crept into my tone.

"Lay… Look… I'm sorry. Yeah… That was me, but I didn't want to say anything until I knew more," he finally explained as he took a small step backwards.

"But you think it's a demon?" I questioned as my voice broke slightly.

"I'm not sure," he answered just over a whisper. After we stood there staring at each other for a few seconds, Dean then added, "I'll look into it and then I'll deal with it all okay? Why don't you and Toby catch a movie or something while I take care of it tonight?"

I nodded and put out my hand asking politely, "Can you please pass me a Phillip's head screwdriver? I need one to finish everything up… Toby will here in about an hour."

He obliged with an apologetic look on his face and as I turned away he held my hand and added, "I'll take care of it Lay, I promise."

I nodded again and retreated to the house before I gave into my tears. As I finished tightening each screw, I cursed myself for believing that just because I wanted out of the 'family business' meant that we would be. Somehow I managed to not only get Toby's room set up, but I was also able to calm myself down enough that when Toby arrived he didn't seem to notice that anything might be wrong between Dean and I.

I finally pried him away from the new room with the promise of a 'date night' for just the two of us. We then went out for pizza and movie and during our talks, Toby's excitement about the school year was so infectious that I was able to genuinely relax and nearly forgot all about everything weird that was going on with Dean. All of that animosity had been put aside until we returned home because as soon as we stepped through the door, Dean ran over and scooped us into his arms.

"Where were you? Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Sorry Dean, I forgot to take it off silent after leaving the theater," I apologized as I felt myself starting to panic. "You know what it is, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do… And I think it might be best if you go to Bobby's until I can get it taken care of," he explained softly.

"I'll go get my bag," Toby offered quickly. He then started out of the room, but stopped when someone rounding the corner blocked his way. "Uncle Sam!"

"Toby! Wait!" I called out as I stopped him by grabbing his shoulder. "Dean! What is that?"

"It's okay Lay… It's… he's Sam," Dean answered with a soft chuckle.

I hadn't noticed that I had let go of Toby and he ran over to hug Sam tightly. "It's so good to see you again!" He nearly shouted before continuing towards his room.

"Sam… Oh my gah… How?" I stammered as I walked over to him to give him a hug. "You know what? I don't care… You're back…"

He rubbed my back and answered, "It's good to see you too."

I stepped back away from him and brushed away my tears before turning towards Dean. "I'll just go throw a few things in a bag and then I'll be ready to go."

Sam followed with Toby in his new car so that Dean and I could talk on the way to Bobby's house. He explained everything that had happened that day and how Sam had saved his life when the Djinn's touch elicited vivid and horrific hallucinations.

"So your Granddad is back too? Wow," I replied as I took his right hand off the steering wheel and kissed it. "And now you'll be doing this hunt with the Campbell's?"

He rubbed my thigh and looked briefly over at me. "Yeah, they seem to know a lot about these things and all. Why do you sound so worried?"

"They're the Campbell's… Mom and I worked with them a couple of times and I don't know Dean… They're just… Different… They don't hunt like we did, they just… They just don't care about the victims, you know? They get in, kill and leave," I tried to explain.

"Okay… And?"

"And they're really cold… Just… Be careful, okay?"

After he parked, Dean turned and pulled me into a kiss. He kept me close to him as he promised, "I always am. It's just this one job with them and then we go back to our lives… we go back to what we wanted us to be after your accident."

I wanted to believe him, so I smiled and didn't voice anymore of my concerns. We met Sam and Toby by his car and then we all made our way up the stairs to Bobby's front door. Dean knocked tentatively and we were all greeted by Bobby's saddened face.

"Damn it," he grumbled as he pulled me into a hug.

"You said it Bobby," I tried to joke as I hugged him back. "You don't mind having company, do you?"

"Never. The rooms upstairs are all ready," he replied with a nod towards the stairs. He patted Toby on the back as he passed adding, "Good to see you again son."

"You too Bobby." I was already part way up the stairs, so Toby stopped and quickly whispered, "Can I maybe check out your library?"

"If it's okay with your mum, then sure you can."

"Awesome! Thanks Bobby!" Toby exclaimed in a hushed tone before he rushed to meet me.

After we somewhat settled in, Toby immediately pulled out his homework and set on completing it all. I left him to it and walked towards the main floor to make him a snack and to offer another 'Good luck' to Sam and Dean, but I stopped on the stairs when I overheard the three of them arguing.

"A whole damn year? Why didn't you put me out of my misery?" Dean questioned with a tone that hovered between devastated and annoyed.

"Because you were out!" Bobby answered sharply. "You two were going to have a baby and live a normal life."

"Does THIS look out to you?" Dean countered angrily.

I sat down on the stairs with my head in my hands while trying to block out everything they were saying. I'm sure they continued to argue, but I couldn't (refused to) hear any of it. I finally looked up when I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder.

After I looked up, Dean tried to straighten his face, but I could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He then sat down on the stairs by me without a word.

I caressed his cheek in my and quietly said, "All that matters is that he's back. Just focus on that Dean."

He gave me a weak smile and replied, "Yeah, but still…"

I interrupted him by pulling his face to mine and silenced his words with a kiss. "They're right… We almost had a normal life. Please, don't be mad Dean, he's back and that's what we wanted, right?"

"Right… So… How's Toby settling in?"

"He's suspiciously eager about doing his homework without my having to push him to do it," I explained with a chuckle.

Dean held both of my hands and looked like he was searching for the right thing to day. I leaned into him until our foreheads touched. "Be careful, okay?" I implored once again.

"I'll call you when it's dead. Then I'll see you soon." He quickly kissed me and then we got up and I walked with him to the door. Sam and Bobby fell silent when we walked into the room hand in hand.

"Thanks again Bobby," Dean stated somewhat flatly as we parted ways. "Ready to go Sam?"

Sam nodded and moved to stand up but I walked up to him, hugged him and whispered, "Just keep him safe, please?"

He simply nodded once again then met Dean at the door and they left. I turned my attention to Bobby and noted that the color had almost completely drained from his face.

Before he could open his mouth to say anything, I smiled warmly and said, "I only have one question that I really need you to answer Bobby… Was Sam with you when you went after Deke?"

He wasn't able to hide his surprise as he nodded and muttered, "Yeah."

"Phew! Thank God because I seriously thought that I had completely lost it that weekend… Okay, so I'm going to make Toby a snack, are you hungry?" I replied with a happy and relieved tone.

Bobby's face softened and as the color returned to his cheeks, a smile spread from ear to ear. "I'm fine Koala Bear, but thanks for offering."

I smirked and shrugged then turned into the kitchen without any further commentary even though my mind was still racing a mile a minute.


	36. I Was Trying to Hide my Opposing Side

Then morning I woke up to a note on the bed saying "SAM NEEDS MY HELP I'LL CALL LATER LOVE DEAN", I knew things were never going to be the same again. I couldn't blame Dean for going because I knew I would have done the same thing in his place. Deep down I even wanted to help, but the thought of hunting still made me shudder.

I had planned on just spending the day in bed and ignoring the real world for just this one day. After making sure that my cell was close by with the house phone, I snuggled under the covers again. I started to drift back to sleep until the shrill cry of the house phone ringing startled me awake.

"Hello?"

" _Addy… Hey it's Scott… Scott Heyward… Is Dean there by any chance?"_

_SHIT!_ "No, sorry… He… Uh… He had a family emergency and had to go out of town. He left a note asking me to call you, but I just woke up… I'm sorry Scott."

" _Oh no… Is there anything I can do to help?"_

I laughed softly then replied, "Thank you Scott, but he should have everything under control by now. I really am so sorry if he left you shorthanded today at all."

" _Don't worry about that, we'll manage fine today. Just be sure to let me know if I can be of any help, okay?"_

"I will… Thanks again Scott."

I hung up the phone and placed my head on my pillow while I caught my breath and collected my thoughts. Before even contemplating getting out of bed, I picked up my cell phone and scrolled through my contacts. My heart started to race as my anger mounted, so I put my phone down and opted to wait to call until I could talk without bursting into tears of frustration. As I started to think more clearly, I decided to shower and dress to further ensure that I could keep my temper in check. After dressing I made myself some breakfast and once I was thoroughly caffeinated, I finally felt ready to call Dean.

"So how do you know about all this?" Sam asked as he tossed the yellow box of 'Baby Butt Paste' in the cart.

"Well…" Dean started as he loaded his arms with diapers, wipes and other essentials from the shelf. "When Lay was… You know… With our second and all… She told me about everything we would need."

Sam nodded solemnly then Dean added, "Plus this guy's wife from work just had a baby, so Lay had us spending extra time with them while she was… You know…"

They stood in the isle awkwardly and absentmindedly placed more items in the shopping cart until Dean's phone rang. When he cursed a violent, "Shit!" somewhat under his breath, a few of the mothers and grandmothers in the isle shot him a dirty look of disapproval. He of course was too focused on his phone to notice.

"Hey…"

" _So what's the job? Seriously Dean, you take off and leave me a fucking note that doesn't even tell me where or what the hunt is about?"_ I blurted out with more bite than I had meant to.

"I know, I'm sorry… But…"

" _Dean, I even had to lie to Scott for you,"_ I continued more calmly.

"Dean," Sam whispered motioning to the baby.

"Yeah we've got to get going… We've got waterworks in T minus ten," Dean quietly told Sam. Sam nodded then started towards the registers.

" _Dean? What the hell is going on?"_ I asked trying to keep my whine from overtaking my tone.

Dean started to talk but all I could hear was the unmistakable wail of a baby with him.

" _Is that a baby? Are you helping Sam with a baby?"_

With the most apologetic tone I had ever heard Dean use, he replied "Yes… But…"

I quickly hung up the phone, left it beside the sink and ran up to our room. After I made it there, I realized that I didn't want to cry. Instead I diverted to the bathroom where I expelled what little contents were in my stomach. I sat down on the floor and rested my head against the cabinet door while I waited for my stomach to settle and ignored the sound of both of my phones ringing.

Once I was feeling better, I changed into my workout clothes, put on my iPod and left the house. I didn't know where I would go, but the fresh air felt so good in my lungs that I didn't stop to plan a route. As I passed a few of our friends, I waved and smiled warmly but didn't stop to chat.

I became so lost in the music that my destination no longer mattered, I just ran. My legs started to ache, but I continued to run. My lungs hurt and it was somewhat difficult to breathe, but I kept running. I finally stopped when I had no choice because I had to tie my shoe.

"Ladies and gentlemen listen up please I don't wanna be your superhero," I sang out loud as I looped my laces.

When I stood up to stretch, I stole a glance to my left and nearly lost the ability to breathe when I realized that I had run home. My real home, the one Poppy had built and made sure that I had every comfort I could have ever wanted. Even though I was still annoyed with Him, I knew that God was still out there somewhere, so I took this as a sign and jogged into the backyard. Everything was pretty much the same as we had left it, but now the hot tub and pool had been drained and the yard was in need of some TLC.

I sat down at a picnic table beside my long neglected herb garden while I caught my breath. I smiled sadly at the memory of Toby eagerly helping me last summer in the garden so that we would have practically any plant that we might need to complete a spell that might help to get his uncle out of hell. Now all of the plants' beautiful green leaves had wilted over our rather harsh winter and then without our intervention, the weeds easily took over.

At the door of the garage, I decided to go in and splash some water on my face. I was feeling so parched that I bee-lined for the sink in the restroom at the back of the building and scooped up a few mouthfuls of water. Then I stood in front of the mirror and fixed my hair and exhaled a deep breath, feeling very relaxed.

I no longer felt any animosity towards everything that the Winchesters were doing and I marveled at how calm I felt. For unknown reasons, I double checked my reflection to make sure that I looked presentable. I slowly left the room and dabbed the sweat off my brow and neck on a towel and then tossed it in a bin by the door. Just before exiting the door, I was halted in my place by the site of my beautiful Fathom Blue GTO. I hadn't seen her after the accident, but I knew the damage must have been pretty bad after Dr. Wingren told me that the Jaws of Life had to be used to extract me from the wreckage. After that I couldn't bear to look at the mangled mess that had once been a treasured gift form my grandfather.

My hand trailed along her sleek lines as I walked from the trunk to the hood, completely awestruck. I couldn't keep from touching the painted metal because I absolutely couldn't believe my eyes. Somehow, during the months since the accident, all of the damage had been repaired. There would have been no way of telling that the entire driver's side had been nearly demolished so many months ago if the doctor hadn't of recounted the tale so earnestly when I first awoke from my coma.

For a brief moment, I thought that maybe this wasn't my car that maybe Dean had somehow found a replacement, but then I found it…

" _ **Hey there Beautiful… I've got something to show you."**_

_**I looked up from my school work while lying on my stomach on the bed, "Poppy! You made it! Mum wasn't sure if you would or not while they were away."** _

_**He nodded vigorously then gestured into the hallway with his head. I jumped up and followed him calling out, "Poppy? What is it?"** _

_**He just smiled slyly and continued down the stairs. I finally caught up with him with him at the door of the kitchen.** _

" _ **Close your eyes Roo, it's a surprise!" He instructed without attempting to hide his excitement.**_

_**I complied instantly and jumped a little when I felt his calloused fingers cover my eyes. He then nudged me to move and guided me through the kitchen towards the door. I swallowed hard at the thought of having to go down the backstairs blindfolded, but my Poppy thankfully stopped at the open door.** _

_**He removed his hands then whispered in my ear, "Open your eyes Roo."** _

_**I slowly opened my left eye and then my right. My mouth hung open and I remained mute so he took my hand to lead me down the stairs explaining, "Now I still have to do some work on the engine, radio and upholstery, but she's running now."** _

_**I tentatively touched the newly painted hood and was completely transfixed.** _

" _ **And I've made some modifications to the trunk so you can carry some tools of the trade without being too obvious."**_

" _ **Poppy… I… She's… You shouldn't have," I finally stuttered as I as I wrapped my arms around his neck.**_

" _ **Yes I should… I'll be sure to have it all done by your birthday," he answered lovingly. As he pushed out of my embrace, he produced a set of keys saying, "How 'bout a test drive?"**_

" _ **Really? But I don't have my license," I questioned sheepishly.**_

_**He placed the keys in my hand and with faux confusion replied, "Huh? So that was a different Addy Jones your mom was telling me about that passed her Learner's exam with flying colors?"** _

_**I laughed softly and followed him to the passenger's side. "No Poppy, that was me… I keep forgetting that I have my Learner's Permit now."** _

_**I went to unlock the door, but my hands were shaking so violently with excitement that I missed the lock completely. Instead of finding the lock, I gouged the metal beside it. I was completely mortified, but my granddad didn't notice, so I didn't say anything. No one ever noticed the tiny nick in the paint, but every time I saw it, it reminded me of that day.** _

I couldn't help but steal a glance inside and noticed that the doors were unlocked. I slowly crawled behind the steering wheel and caressed it adoringly. I knew from the smell that the upholstery was new and on closer inspection, I noticed that the leather was a darker shade of grey.

_**TAP TAP TAP** _

_**I uncovered my head and squinted at the midday sun after being awoken by the sound of someone knocking on my car window. I wiped away some of the sleep from my eyes as I sat up on the back seat. Without attempting to improve my appearance, I rolled down the rear driver's side window to yell at the person who dared to wake me up after only a couple hours of sleep.** _

_**When I finally noticed that the "intruder" was actually a Highway Patrol officer, I sat up straighter and tossed my jacket aside to prove to him that I wasn't trying to conceal a weapon of any sort.** _

" _ **Good day officer..." I started as pleasantly as I could.**_

_**Before I could continue he interjected, "Ma'am, could you please step out of the vehicle?"** _

_**I unlocked the door and the officer opened it for me. I didn't want to give him any reasons for concern, so I slid off the seat and stood beside the car in my bare feet. After he finished eyeing me up and down, I started to feel strangely self-conscious as I stood in front of him in my tight fitting tank top and cut off  flannel shorts.** _

" _ **Do you have your license and registration?" He asked indifferently.**_

" _ **Yes sir," I replied just over a whisper without moving a muscle. "My purse is on the passenger's seat."**_

_**He nodded to his partner, who reached through the window I had opened to unlock the front door. He then leaned across the driver's seat and pulled out my purse. I breathed a sigh of relief that neither of them noticed my handgun tucked into its hiding place on the door.** _

" _ **Now Miss… Jones," he continued as he scrutinized the information on my driver's license. "May I ask what brings you to our county? And why you've chosen this stretch of my road as your own personal 'Holiday Inn'?"**_

" _ **Yes of course you can sir… I was just passing through on my way home," I explained somewhat timidly. "I've been on the road for work… In Northern California sir… But my aunt called me back home because my uncle broke his hand on the farm and they need me to come home to help. I've been trying to get there as quickly as possible, but early this morning I was feeling so exhausted that I thought it would be best to stop and rest… I tried to find a motel, sir, but I started to nod off before I came across one, so I figured it was safer for me to pull off where there was a wide shoulder to sleep than it would be for me to try to push it and continue home."**_

_**His partner returned from talking with someone over his radio and nodded to the officer standing in front of me. He the replaced my ID in my wallet and tossed my purse onto my passenger seat. They both looked mildly disappointed as I shifted from one foot to another uncomfortably.** _

" _ **Alright Miss Jones, it sounds like you made the right choice then, but I'll have to ask you to carry on your way. There's a truck stop about five miles east of here, that would probably be a more appropriate place for you to rest," he concluded authoritatively.**_

" _ **Yes sir, I'll head there right now. I apologize for the intrusion sir," I replied repentantly as I opened my door.**_

_**He cracked the briefest smile at my eagerness to comply because I made it the five miles to the truck stop before I realized that I was still barefoot.** _

After reminiscing for a while, I stepped out of the car and gently closed the door. I traced the outline of each chrome window frame as I stared at the side of my car. Everything was perfect, even the scratch that I had put in the door last summer during a rushed visit home was gone. As I was nearly petting the doors and roof, I continued to smile dumbly.

" _ **Okay…" I started after one last kiss at the motel room door. "I seriously have to get to work now."**_

" _ **Mmm hmm," he agreed through another couple of kisses. "Me too."**_

" _ **Okay… Seriously…" I commented as I gently pushed him towards his car to disengage his lips from my flesh.**_

_**He picked me up off the ground to kiss me deeply once again. I was wearing his dress shirt and it rode up to reveal my blue flannel short shorts when he picked me up.** _

" _ **But I'll need my shirt back," he whispered coyly into my ear before placing me on my feet again.**_

_**I started to undo the buttons and replied with a mock begrudged tone, "If I must."** _

_**As I stood in front of him in just my bra and short shorts, he slipped his shirt on. Once he was dressed he leaned down, pecked my lips then said, "Well if you decide to stick around for a few days, give me a call, okay?"** _

_**I nodded then answered as nicely as I could, "I'm sure that I won't… But if I ever find myself here again, I will most definitely look you up."** _

_**He smiled sadly in acceptance of my offer and turned to leave. I did the same, but stopped when I ran into another motel patron who had his hands full with two ice buckets.** _

" _ **Adelaide?" He questioned sounding dumbfounded.**_

_**I wanted to shrink back towards the parking lot, but I wouldn't allow myself to let him make me feel small. Instead, I stood up straighter, puffed my chest out confidently and stepped towards the open door of my room.** _

_**With a curt nod, I smiled and pleasantly replied, "Sydney."** _

_**My father stood frozen in his spot while I retreated to my room. After I shut the door, I had to take a moment to catch my breath and calm my racing heart. I knew that I would inevitably run into him sooner or later, but I had never expected that the first time I would see him after three years would be while I was saying goodbye to my latest one night stand.** _

_**He recovered more quickly than I did and by the time I snuck to the window, he had made it back to his room. I watched as he fumbled for his key, but the door opened from the inside before he found them and revealed that Sydney wasn't staying alone. I jumped back from the window when my eyes traveled from his companion to the vehicles in the parking lot.** _

" _ **Shit! Fuck! He's staying with Dean? What the hell…?"**_

_**I started to hyperventilate slightly, but then I saw John's pickup and I calmed down enough to formulated a plan of action.** _

_**I took my time getting ready for the day because I didn't want to leave my room until one of those three left first. As I packed my bags, I stole a couple of glances out the window, but I didn't see much movement from the room across the way. Once all of my bags were packed, I sat at the table by the window going over all of my research in my file folder. When I heard a car's doors open and close, I quickly looked outside. I squeaked out some weird sound of excitement when I saw that is was Dean leaving in his car with Sydney.** _

_**After they were gone, I finally emerged from my room. At their door, I knocked confidently and turned my body so that my face wouldn't be visible from their window.** _

" _ **Who is it?" John questioned gruffly.**_

_**I stifled my giggle and pulled out a wallet while answering assertively, "Sheriff's Department."** _

_**I knew that he would check the window and then the peep hole, so I held my badge up to make sure that my face would remain obscured. When I heard the lock turning, I placed the wallet in my pocket and turned to survey the parking lot again.** _

" _ **How can I help you Ma'am?" John asked the back of my head politely.**_

" _ **Well Mr. Winchester," I started as I turned to face him. "I was hoping you could help me with a job."**_

_**He visibly relaxed, shook his head then replied with a chuckle, "Addy… How are you darling?"** _

" _ **I'm good John. Surprised to see you guys here too, but I'm good."**_

_**He motioned for me to enter then commented, "Well you look great."** _

_**I smiled brightly and passed him the folder I was holding. Then I explained, "But seriously John, I was hoping that you could help me with something. This job has taken me way longer than I had expected and I kind of promised to be somewhere tomorrow, so I can't really waste any more time here."** _

_**He took the folder and flipped through it before looking up at me with a confused frown. I took a deep breath then continued, "She was buried under her birth name, not her adopted name."** _

_**John nodded then asked, "Okay, but why don't you just take care of it?"** _

" _ **Because… If I leave now, I can definitely get home by morning," I replied hoping not to have to explain further.**_

" _ **Home? Is everything okay with Bill and Maureen?" He asked with genuine concern as he took my hand.**_

" _ **Yeah, no everything is fine with them… It's… Umm… Toby… He really wants me to be home for his first day of school," I timidly explained completely avoiding eye contact.**_

" _ **Toby… Toby?" I kept my eyes fixed on the floor while he connected the dots in his head. "Wow… He… HE'S in school already? Wow… you had a boy."**_

_**I nodded then finally looked up. John offered a sympathetic smile as he gently caressed my cheek.** _

" _ **He wants his 'big sister' to be there because he's worried about starting school and being away from us for so long everyday," I clarified.**_

_**John's smile widened and then he said, "I can't believe it's been six years already… Wow… But don't worry Addy, we can take care of this so you can get back home to your… Your… Uhh toToby."** _

" _ **Thanks John. I really do appreciate it because I hate it when I have to break my promises to him."**_

_**John could see that I was trying not to cry, so he quickly scooped me into a hug and added, "But since you did all of the hard work, why don't you help us?"** _

_**I laughed despite myself as I took a step back and replied, "John… No… I can't… And it's not just Dean, Syd's here too…" I unconsciously touched my eye that Sydney had targeted during his fit of rage. John thankfully accepted that explanation, but just nodded in response.** _

" _ **Thanks again John," I started out of the room, but stopped and turned back at the door. "Maureen… She gave me a present before I left on this job… Would you…? Would you like to see a picture of your grandson?"**_

_**He looked up from my research and stared for a moment. Then he nodded slightly, but remained mute. I took a step closer as I slipped out the recent snapshot out of my wallet.** _

_**John took it then quietly said, "Addy… He's… He's so handsome."** _

" _ **Yeah, he's got good genes," I lovingly teased as I reclaimed the photo. "It was really good getting to see you. Hopefully I'll run into you soon John."**_

_**He held up the manila folder and playfully retorted, "You keep coming up with research like this and I'd consider myself lucky to work with you again."** _

_**I started to make my exit once again, but stopped when John called out, "Hey Addy?" When I turned back he was holding the door for me and he motioned towards his truck with his chin. "I parked beside you before Dean got in last night… He doesn't know you're here, so we could take care of this just you and I…"** _

" _ **No John," I quietly interrupted. "But thanks… If I leave now I can get home just after dark. Really, you take care of it and YOU take the credit, okay?"**_

_**I finished by quickly pecking his cheek then I rushed to my car before he could try to talk me into staying again.** _

As I slowly walked home, I gently cursed myself for thinking that a run would be a good idea. Now I had to walk home and I was feeling exhausted as I trekked down the road. However, I was quite grateful that I had ended up there because I now had confirmation that I was at peace with the universe once again.

When I got back to our house close to downtown of Kidder, I ran a hot bath then ate a small dinner and crawled into bed. I checked my phone and felt sort of guilty that Dean was probably worried about me, but I wanted to rest before talking to him. I fell asleep almost immediately, so I missed the sporadic ringing of the phone during the night.

After a good night's sleep, I tried calling Dean, but he didn't answer. I stayed at home just in case he tried to call me again. By late afternoon, I had cleaned the house from top to bottom and was getting kind of antsy, so I started cleaning again. I was going to attempt another call to Dean's cell phone, but stopped when I heard the kitchen door open and close.

"Lay? Are you home?" He shouted while I waited for him in the living room. "Lay?"

I remained seated on the couch in the living room and didn't yell back because I knew that he would find me soon enough.

"Hey… Are you doing alright?"

I nodded and took his hand as he found a seat beside me. "I'm fine Dean. I'm sorry that I worried you, really I am." Before he could say anything I leaned over and kissed him. "I love you Dean, you know that right?"

He nodded and hesitantly replied, "Yeah, I do know that…"

"Okay good because I need you to hear what I'm going to say…" I took a moment to ensure that I had his attention and then I continued, "You need to quit the construction job and then you need to call Sam."

"What? I don't think I follow."

I kissed him again before explaining, "You're a hunter not a carpenter and Sam obviously wants you to help him. Plus we both know that you want to figure out how he got out of Hell, so working with him would help with that. You should go, be with him."

"You're kicking me out?" He asked in a tone that was sadder than any I had ever heard him use.

"No, I'm not kicking you out Dean; I'm simply stating the obvious. You let me hunt when I needed to, so please, let me do this for you. I want you to be happy."

"I'm happy with you…"

"You'll be even happier when you're being true to your nature," I interrupted with gentle firmness. "And we've done the long distance thing before, so we can make it work again."

He leaned in and kissed me then held me in his arms. "I love you so much, but are you sure?"

"More than sure… Now come on, let's get you packed."


	37. Trying to Reconcile My Jekyll and Hyde

"Yes sir, I will. I'm really sorry dad," Toby replied quietly. "Did you want to talk to Mum?"

" _Is she busy? I don't want to bother her if she is."_

"Umm… No, I don't think so. MUM! PHONE!"

I met up with Toby in the kitchen. He quickly handed me the phone and then took off towards his bedroom without another word.

"Hello?"

" _Hey…"_

"Dean… I wasn't expecting to talk with you for another couple of days. Is everything alright?"

" _Well this one is kind of strange so I thought that I'd get Toby working his magic right away."_

"Oh… Well now his reaction makes perfect sense. He must have rushed to his room to start the computer work. Hmm… Well I won't keep you from it then. It was good to hear your voice… Call if Toby can help with anything else."

" _I will. Love you."_

"Love you too. Be safe," I replied as I walked towards Toby's room.

When I got to his open door, I was surprised that Toby wasn't at his computer; he was instead lying on his bed. He didn't stir when I walked in, so I sat down behind him and gently patted his back.

"Hey Buddy… I thought that you'd be on your computer. What's wrong?"

He rolled over to reveal his tear streaked face. I knelt down beside his bed and dried his cheeks with my palms asking, "Tobs? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Mum… It was me… I broke…" He tried to explain through his choking sobs.

I laughed softly and placed my index finger on his lips. "I know Buddy… I know. You have the same tells as Dean when you aren't being truthful. But thank you for coming clean. I appreciate that."

"So you're not mad?" He asked as his sobs started to subside.

"No I'm not… I was a little annoyed when you lied, but accidents happen, so no I'm really not mad… Now… Dean said that you were going to be doing some research to help him and Sam? Do you want me to fix you a snack?" I asked as I held his face in my hands lovingly.

He shook his head replying, "No, but thank you. This one's kinda gross, so I think it would be better if I have an empty stomach."

"Okay, well just let me know when you're ready for dinner, okay?"

He finally sat up and wrapped his arms around my neck, "I will… Thanks Mum."

I went into the den where I curled up with the latest novel that I had started the day before. I found now that I wasn't hunting, I needed to do something to occupy my time because it was so difficult to be idle. I still went in to help Bea at her store, but she had finally relented and hired someone to help her on a part-time basis because she had realized that she really did need the extra help. So, reading became my new hobby and I usually made it through a full novel every couple of days. Maureen had tried to get me to start up with doing crafts like I had in my early years of high school, but for now I liked the fact that reading meant I didn't have to leave the house much.

When Dean did call home, we kept our 'shop talk' to a minimum… But I always offered to lend an ear if Dean really needed to talk to me. He, of course, never admitted to needing to talk, even when it came to the subject of Sam. Although I knew in my heart of hearts that he had mixed feelings about the circumstances surrounding his brother's return, but he mostly kept that to himself.

As his role at "Wilson Construction" continued to evolve, Bill and Maureen were traveling on a more frequent basis, so Toby stayed with me more often. He was more than eager to jump in whenever Dean and Sam needed any research done. Now when he found his own new hunts, he passed on the information to Bobby on his own. Every so often he would get really excited about his finds and tell me some of the details and although I was happy to listen to him chatter about the jobs he had found, I still didn't become actively involved.

That was until one night when I was startled awake but a noise in my room and nearly had a heart attack when I saw that there was someone (too big to be Toby) in my room.

"Dean? I thought you couldn't get here until next week," I commented as I turned on a few lights.

Dean immediately flinched away from every single light source I illuminated and I could tell that something was wrong. When he kept his back to me and didn't reply, I got up and took a hold of his shoulder to force him to look at me so I could try to confirm my suspicions. He reciprocated by pinning me up against the wall beside our bed a little too forcefully to be romantic.

"Lay…" He breathily stated as he buried his face into my hair. "I… I need… Want…"

"I'm here Dean, I'm here," I replied stroking the back of his neck.

While he was holding me, he licked the length of my neck as I tried reaching for the handle that was peeking out from under our mattress. "I'll take care of you Dean," I hoarsely whispered, trying desperately not to let my sobs overtake me.

Dean must have felt my pulse quickening because he swiftly let go of me and turned away uttering a feral growl. I dropped to my knees and crawled over to our bed and pulled out my mini machete that Dean had hidden there months ago without my knowledge. By the time I was back to my feet and poised for a fight, Dean had disappeared out of the room.

"TOBY!"

I ran towards the open door, foolishly hoping that I could catch up with Dean before he hit the main floor. I then continued to the stairs when I didn't see him in the hallway. As I bounded down the stairs, taking them two at a time, I heard Toby's startled voice and then a very loud _THUMP_. I saw that Dean had pushed Toby to one side and was trying to make his way past our son en route to the kitchen without uttering a word to the young boy.

"Dad what's wrong?" Toby questioned through a haze of sleep as Dean continued past him.

"TOBY! Come here! That… That's not Dean!" I called out frantically.

Toby immediately ran over to me and his eyes flew wide open in shock when he looked down at my right hand.

"Mum?"

"Shh… Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it, okay? Now, go lock yourself in the bathroom until I get back, alright?"

He nodded then followed my instructions without any hesitation. I continued through the kitchen and just barely made out of the house in time to catch a glimpse of the Impala's taillights as Dean sped away. Once I was back in the house, I knocked on the bathroom door yelling "Come on out Buddy!" Then I hurried towards my bedroom to get my phone.

"Sam… Dean… He was just here and he's…" I started as soon as I could tell that Sam had answered his phone.

" _He was there?"_ Sam cut me off before I could complete my thought. _"Crap! Okay… When did he leave?"_

"Less than a minute ago," I replied as Toby tentatively entered the room. I wrapped my arm around his neck and hugged him closely to my body. "So you know?"

" _Yeah… But we've got it covered. Really… Sorry Addy I gotta go."_

I had more questions, but Sam abruptly hung up the phone impeding my ability to get them out. I figured he had a plan, so my only concern now was Toby's well-being. The machete had been placed back under the bed in the same spot that Dean had hidden it previously and I let my cell phone fall to the floor so I could hold Toby tightly in my arms.

"Mum? Were you… Were you going to use that on dad?" He asked quietly as he leaned back to try to make eye contact.

"Yes and no… That… That wasn't Dean… Buddy, something got him and turned him… He's… It's a thing, just like Rene was," I explained as calmly as I could. "But your Uncle Sam has a plan, so we don't have to worry. Let's try to get back to sleep, okay?"

I got up and motioned for him to follow, but Toby remained on the bed. "Mum… Can I… Can I stay with you tonight?"

Before he had finished asking his question, I had already started crawling back into bed, nodding form him to climb into the space that his dad normally did. He burrowed into my side, but struggled to get comfortable and settle enough to fall asleep quickly.

Neither of us slept very well that night, so I called into Toby's school to tell them that we wouldn't be attending due to illness. When I got up he was finally sleeping soundly, so I slipped out of the room as silently as I could in the hopes that he would continue to rest. Before I left the room, I was stalled by Toby's soft cries of discomfort coming from the bed. I stood at the open door watching him with tears filling my eyes because I knew instantly that he must be having a vivid nightmare about me decapitating Dean. How would I ever get that gruesome image out of his head?

My stomach wouldn't cease its unending flips of nervous somersaults, so I abandoned the thought of eating all together. Instead I opted to curl up with the latest underwater adventure that Clive Cussler had penned. As much as I tried to keep my focus on the words on the page, I absentmindedly started daydreaming about the images that I was confident were streaming through Toby's head right now. As I read, I must have drifted to sleep again because I was awoken by the sound of Toby preparing his breakfast.

"Hey Buddy… How'd you sleep?"

He looked up from pouring his cereal and I could immediately tell that he had had a rough night. His eyes were blood shot and I couldn't believe that a boy his age was capable of having bags under his eyes that prominent.

"Fine… I guess… I'll get ready for school as quickly as possible so that I'm not late," he replied almost dejectedly.

"That's alright. You don't have to go in today," I countered with a soft teasing tone. His brows immediately wrinkled into a look of questioning confusion. "You came down with a bug last night, so I called the school to tell them that you won't be in today."

Every muscle in his body in his body seemed to relax and his shoulders slumped forward slightly. I had to force myself to keep an even tone as I continued, "I just figured that you would need the day off… If you want to talk about anything, I'm here Buddy."

He nodded sadly then turned and silently retreated to his room. After I cleaned up the kitchen, I then returned to looking at the words on the pages of my book. When the lunch hour hit, I made us something to eat, knocked on Toby's door and left it in the hallway for him. While I channel surfed through the meager options that day-time TV had to offer, I heard his door open and close along with the soft sound of plate being picked up.

When he was finished his meal, Toby placed the empty plate back in the hallway where I had put it, so I silently retrieved it and placed it in the dishwasher. I then lingered at his door and listened for a while, trying to hear if he was sleeping, crying or fretting about the horrific scenarios his overactive imagination could come up with. The longer I stood there, the quieter the entire house seemed to become, making me feel somewhat uneasy.

I cracked open his door and was taken aback by the scene in front of me. Toby was curled up on his bed, gripping his pillow tightly to his chest with silent tears flowing out of his eyes. I debated for about a millisecond whether I should try to comfort him or not.

As I kneeled down beside his bed, I held his hands in mine while I attempted to off any words of comfort that I could.

"Toby? Oh Buddy… Please talk to me? Please?" I sorrowfully pleaded.

He sniffled in a few choppy breaths trying to stem the flow of tears from his eyes. After he wiped his cheeks and nose on his pillow, he made his first attempt to speak.

"It's… It's… I just…" He began to audibly sob as he tried to explain, so I jumped in saying, "I know Buddy… You just met him. This sucks, believe me I understand how you feel… But we'll get through this, I promise. It hurts like hell right now, but it'll hurt less as time passes. Remember… Memories fade because they're designed that way. With time the pain will become less prominent."

Toby's eyes narrowed in a disapproving scowl before he replied, "Please don't try to make it all better by quoting Darren right now."

I bit my lip so hard that it almost bled and nodded. Once I was sure that the tears that wanted to fall would stay put, I tried a different tactic.

"Okay… Sorry… But it's true. I've been through this twice with him and both times I thought that the pain would kill me… But I made through it and we'll be able to do it again, I swear we will… Together."

He loosened his grip on his pillow and nodded. Then he shifted back on the bed which gave me enough room to join him. I took it as a silent invitation and climbed onto the bed with him, laid down on my left side and gently wiped his tears away.

"You said you've been through this 'twice' with dad… How is that even possible?" He questioned as his curiosity overtook his sorrow.

I chuckled softly then explained, "Do you remember about four years ago when I didn't come home for about a month?"

"Yeah… But it was more like almost two months with barely a phone call… Mom and Pop kind of worried because you never stayed away that long without checking in for at least a day."

"Well… Your dad… Dean… He sold his soul to save your Uncle and when Bobby told me about it, I just couldn't handle it. I knew that as soon as I saw you, I'd break down completely and since you didn't know the truth, I just… I just figured that it would be best to deal with on my own."

I was now comfortable on my back, staring at the ceiling staring at the constellations and planets that Toby had painted on his ceiling. Once I was settled, he cuddled into my side and after he rested his head on my shoulder, he asked, "He sold his soul? What happened next?"

"The same thing that happens to everyone that does that… He went to Hell… But lucky for us, God had other plans for him so He sent Castiel and some other angels to rescue Dean."

"Oh, yeah I remember now… That whole deal with those seals and stuff with Lucifer," Toby said as his tone further calmed down. "So… You already told me about that time… What about the second time?" He questioned almost enthusiastically.

I sighed with relief that I had somewhat succeeded in soothing his worried mind. "Well… Way back when you hated me and thought that I was evil and unworthy of being spoken to…"

"Muuuummmm!" He whined remorsefully.

I tickled him gently then leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I know Buddy, but I haven't teased you about that much… Anyway… Before I got home that night to pick you up from the hospital, I stopped at Bobby's… The long and the short of the story is that they… Umm… Sam and Dean went to Heaven… But God sent them back home to us."

"Whoa! So dad's been to Heaven AND Hell? Wow… But he's like a cat, right? He has nine lives and all, so maybe this time…" He trailed off then sat back and looked down at me with a pleading look.

I pulled him close and hugged him tightly. "Maybe… But we still need to be realistic Buddy… Sooner or later Dean's luck was going to run out on him… That, of course, doesn't mean that we stop living our lives though."

I kept trying to think of encouraging things that I could say to him, but the truth was, I had no idea what else could be said. I wanted nothing more than to crumble under my own feelings of loss, but I knew I had to stay strong for Toby. I stroked his arm lovingly as I racked my brain for something else to say and stopped only when I heard Toby softly snoring.

After giving him one more tight squeeze, I slipped out of the bed and out of his room. I again watched him from the door, but he did nothing more than roll over to make himself more comfortable. With the hopes that he would sleep soundly and wake up refreshed (and hungry much like his father), I rooted through the fridge to see what I had by way of supplies to make us dinner.

As I took an inventory of the sparse offerings left in the fridge, I heard a soft knock at the kitchen door. I unconsciously stole a glance towards Toby's room to ease my mind that the noise hadn't bothered him and that he was still sleeping before I could turn my attention to the backdoor.

Before turning the knob, it finally dawned on me that I might not look completely presentable. I hesitated slightly, but then I figured that anyone who could be on the other side of the white metal door would understand my disheveled appearance once I explained our current situation.

"Hey Lay…"

I went to slam the door shut, but Dean's booted foot slipped through the crack to keep that from happening. Before the door sprang wide open again, I turned and ran to the counter by the sink. There I frantically searched for a blade larger than a steak knife to defend myself from the attack I knew was going to come any moment now.

"Damn it! DAMN IT!" I cursed as I began to panic because I found nothing that appeared to be of any use.

"Lay… It's me," Dean started to explain as I turned and flashed a large butcher's knife.

"Stay back! I know… You're not Dean… Not really anymore," I countered with a shaky tone.

He stepped up to the island that separated us, never once motioning to go around it, and laughed softly. I could feel my panic start to transform into anger at seeing that thing mock me like that.

Before he said anything else, Dean raised his right hand to his mouth and pulled his upper lip back to reveal his gums. "It's me," he replied calmly.

I stepped forward while maintaining my white knuckle, death grip on the handle of the knife and instructed almost inaudibly, "Do that again."

By the time his hand fell away from his upper lip after showing me his undeniably human teeth again, the butcher's knife had fallen to the floor with a loud clang. With my hands now free, I threw my arms around Dean and squeezed him against my body.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I excitedly asked, "But how? When? There's no way that this is real right? You're not really…"

He held my face in his hands and leaned down to kiss me into silence. "Samuel had an old Campbell recipe that's a cure for vampirism."

"Really? I've always heard rumors, but… Wow… Well, Go Team Campbell," I replied at a loss for an intelligent reply.

"Yeah, I guess they really aren't all that bad," he retorted with a playful smirk.

I could tell that he was about to start teasing me relentlessly, so I pulled his face to mine and kissed him deeply.

"Toby!" I nearly shouted with excitement. "Man, he's going to be so excited to see you!"

I pulled Dean towards Toby's door, but stopped when I remembered that our son was finally sleeping soundly. At the door, I turned and blocked Dean's access to the door knob and just stared at him for a moment. Then I again grabbed Dean into a passionate embrace so that I could move us away from Toby's door.

"He had a really rough night last night, so it'll probably be best if we let him sleep," I explained as Dean lovingly held me against the wall and nibbled at my neck.

He relented briefly to say, "I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have…"

"Shh… Let's just take this upstairs so we can finish what we started. I think it would be even more traumatic for him to catch us, you know…"

"So… I'm so sorry that I almost chopped your head off," I apologized as I draped my naked body partially over Dean's naked chest.

He pulled the covers over us so that if anyone entered the room they wouldn't bear witness to anything overly scandalous.

"There's no need to apologize. Why do you think I came here? Sam refused to do it himself and I knew you wouldn't hesitate to do the right thing. Although now I know that he didn't because he knew there was a cure."

I trailed a few kissed from his chest to his neck as I pull myself closer to him so I could whisper in his ear, "I don't really think that I could have gone through with it either."


	38. Inside Feel The Rising Tide

After that 'incident' with Dean (at least that's what we started calling it because the idea of Dean being turned into something inhuman was still too incomprehensible for all of us to even fathom) I started gradually helping Toby with his research by reasoning with myself that he might feel some unease dealing with all of this on his own. However, as I continued, I realized that I was really doing it because I missed it more than I ever thought I could or ever would. I still hadn't been out on any hunts, but helping Toby to connect the dots and discover if the incidences were supernatural or not… that made me feel complete in a way that I never knew I could miss.

I was in the full swing of researching by the time that Bobby called us to enlist our help in discovering how Sam had escaped Lucifer's cage. He confided in us everything that Dean refused to… that Dean was concerned about Sam… he couldn't put his finger on it, but he could feel that his brother just wasn't the same person. Sam could hunt, that was something none of us questioned… especially after he saved Dean from that Djinn, but he just wasn't 'Sam'. I had ignored it the last time the Winchesters visited, but I felt it too. He just didn't react like the same man that once was ready to protect a total stranger after she had had a run in with a creep that couldn't take 'No' for an answer. No, there was something different about him, but none of us could pin point what it was and that was beyond unsettling.

Bill had quickly grown tired of traveling as much as Tom had wanted him to, so he and Maureen switched gears again and settled back down in Kidder. Although Bill adored his job, he decided that he could be just as effective working from one office as he could be on the road. He gave up on the idea of maintaining the farm, so it was put on the market. Surprisingly enough it sold almost as soon as it went on the market and they easily settled in town.

" _Wow, so they sold the farm? Where'd they move to?"_

"A cute little two story, three bedroom house at 323 Peach Street."

" _Peach Street?"_ Dean clarified. _"Isn't that a little cramped?"_

"No actually it's kind of perfect," I replied hiding my amusement. "Toby is all nice and comfortable in his room and Bill and Mo have settled in the master bedroom, so there's still one room to spare for a guest room." I knew Dean was itching to jump in, but I continued, "You know since I moved home and all."

" _Home? Lay… Do you mean…?"_

"Yeah I do. I just made sense since Toby and I were spending so much time here anyways."

" _That's awesome Lay… Seriously, I'm so relieved to hear that."_

"Me too. So… this latest case. One theory is Gabriel's 'Horn of Truth'? Since it forces people not to lie… but there's been no word about suicides in any of the lore that we've dug up."

" _Yeah… I was looking into that too. I was actually thinking about asking… Umm…"_

When he hesitated, I chuckled softly then lovingly asserted, "Good idea, you should call Castiel. Toby and I will keep looking into alternatives. Be safe. Love you."

" _Thanks. Love you too."_

When Bobby had asked for my help to research possible side effects that could explain Sam's current demeanor, he was hesitant because he knew that Dean hadn't confided in me yet. I promised Bobby that I wouldn't say anything until Dean brought it up with me… IF Dean ever brought it up with me.

So after I hung up the phone, I turned my attention back to the books on Hell that I had pulled out of the garage. I was feeling less and less hopeful that we would find anything new because I had pretty much memorized every line of text in these books back when Dean had found himself in Hell. Even four years later, they told me the same thing: It was practically impossible to break someone out of the hole, but God and His angels were capable of it.

"But Castiel said it wasn't them… that he knew of… WAIT!" I thought out loud.

" _Hello?"_

"Bobby? Hey… So what if it was an angel, but just not Castiel or anyone that Cas knows… well an angel that he's not allied with at least? You guys said that Heaven's in the midst of a civil war, right? What if the other faction did it?" I blurted out before he had a chance to interrupt me.

" _Whoa. Okay, Koala Bear, you are going to have to rewind and slow it down a bit. Geez… I think I now understand where Toby gets it from now,"_ Bobby replied with an amorous tease in his tone.

"Sorry Bobby. Okay… I was going through my books again and kept coming up with the same frustrating answers that we did with Dean," I explained calmly.

Bobby sighed dismally then said, _"Yeah, me too."_

"So… It got me thinking… What if an angel DID do it? I mean that an angel did break Sam out of the hole?" I proposed.

" _But Cas said…"_

"I know what Cas said," I interjected so I could make my point. "But he also said that he's at war with Raphael and those who follow him… And Castiel also said that Raphael wants to ensure that the Apocalypse ends as it was supposed you, you know with Michael fighting Lucifer. So… Couldn't Raphael have done it without Cas knowing?"

" _Hmm… That's an interesting theory. Maybe he could have,"_ Bobby pondered sounding like he was becoming distracted by the volumes he was pulling down off of the shelves of his library. _"I'll start looking into that too."_

I could tell that I had lost him to the research so I went to go and hang up the phone until I heard, _"But what about his personality? You have to admit he ain't acting like he used to."_

"I know Bobby… But who knows what he saw or had done to him, right? Lucifer's Cage is probably different than regular Hell… And from what you told me, Dean really didn't have the easiest time when he first got back, so maybe this is just Sam way of coping. You know… Keeping what he saw to himself?"

" _Good point… That boy sure does know how to guard his emotions when he wants to… Alright, I'll start on that angle and I'll let you know what I find."_

Now that I had shared my theory with someone and they didn't laugh it off, I felt of surge of relief was over my body. With that all in mind, I once again delved into my books hoping that this new perspective would yield some new results. We knew, well hoped, that an angel had brought Sam back to us, so what would that mean for him? The psychological side effects were kind of obvious, but what about the physical side effects? Not to mention, Dean had been marked by Castiel. Had anyone seen a similar scar on Sam?

I grabbed my phone to call Dean and ask him just that, but then I remembered that he didn't know I was on that case. As much as I yearned to have him to bounce ideas off of, I knew that I couldn't broach the subject with him first. If I wanted to keep from alienating him, I had to let Dean come to me. That was one of the many traits of stubbornness that we shared.

I spent a few more hours flipping through the musty volumes before I finally relented and headed to bed. Toby had started to spend the weekends with me to do research, and then we progressively added in some training as well. All day Saturday we focused on hand to hand combat and I now felt hat we could start working with crossbows and handguns for some weapons training. Toby quickly had a handle on the crossbow, so I finally brought up the subject of target shooting.

"Hey Buddy, here let's try this," I said as I passed him a brand new .22 caliber Beretta.

He stared at me, completely wide-eyed in the middle of my now vacant garage. (I had moved Phantom into the yard and covered her with a cloth that Luke had suggested to keep her safe form the elements.)

"It's okay Buddy. This'll be something that when you have some time you can work with it. Right now just focus on the left side of the chest. We can get more specific as you get comfortable with it, okay?"

He nodded and kept his gun trained on the large black rectangle I had traced on the target's chest. After a brief lesson and repositioning of his stance, I tried to keep from getting too giddy as Toby eased into it like a professional. When he had emptied the clip, I couldn't help but scoop him into my arms because he had taken to it so naturally.

After I had him in a death grip, twisting him to and fro with his feet now off the ground I praised, "Toby! That was so awesome!"

Once his feet were firmly planted on terra ferma, he continued to hold me close as he asked, "So, I did okay Mum? Really?"

"Really Buddy!" I affirmed as I stole a glance over his shoulder at the target at the other end of the garage. "Yeah, you did great! Where'd you learn to shoot so well?"

"I don't know," he replied shyly as he extracted himself from my embrace and unhinged his clip from his pistol with expert ease. "I guess it's kinda like an instinct or something."

I laughed despite myself and ruffled his hair before he ran out of the garage. I had told him that once we were done that he had to head straight to bed because of the late hour. Of course, I had no idea that he would take that directive so literally and that as soon as his clip was empty that he'd rush to brush his teeth and head to bed.

I lingered for a few minutes to admire my, our, son's handiwork. Even though I had given him a wide birth, Toby had been able to his the sweet spot (the heart) at least four times out of his twelve rounds. When I was his age, I was more than lucky to hit the heart two out of twelve times. I stayed a little while longer as I reloaded his clips and repositioned some targets for him to practice on when we next had time.

After setting everything up, I pulled out a few books from the bookshelves in the garage, locked up and carried them in with me. With the backdoor secured, I checked the coffee pot and felt slightly disheartened that it was empty, but I stopped myself from making a fresh pot before settling in the den. Toby and I had filled nearly two notebooks with everything that could support or refute my current theory. I was working at completing that set of notes when my eyes became so blurry that I could barely make out the paragraphs on the page, much less the words I was 'reading'.

Being as stubborn as I am, I couldn't help but try to continue our research, even after my writing became so sloppy that it was barely legible. Nothing was really making sense anymore, but I didn't stop until my hand/eye co-ordination became virtually non-existent. I knocked over a second stack of books while trying to pick up my pen, so I finally relented and made my way upstairs.

"No! No! Stop!" I heard Toby calling out from his room.

Without a second thought, I ran into his room completely unarmed. The idea of something being in Toby's room along with my complete exhaustion impeded my ability for coherent reasoning. I should have remembered there were only a few creatures that could actually get into his room or my house for that matter.

At his door, my fears were proven wrong because he was still safe in his bed.

"No! Mum! Stop! Don't hurt Dad!" He continued to scream as he thrashed so violently that his covers slipped off his bed.

I fell to my knees and grabbed his shoulders and shook him while shouting, "Wake up! Toby! Please Buddy? Please? Wake up!"

His eyes shot open as he at straight up in his bed. "Mum? What…?"

"You were having a nightmare," I explained sitting beside him on the bed. "Buddy… Can you tell me about it? Please?"

He kept from letting his eyes meet mine and picked at my chipped nail polish as he slowly explained, "It was about you… and Dad… from that night, you know? He… Dad… He tried to bite Pop, but you swooped in with your machete and we all got away. I… I made sure that Mom and Pop were safe so that I could help you, but… but…"

"But when you saw what I had to do to Dean you couldn't let me, right?" I finished for him as I turned his chin up to force him to look at my tear filled eyes.

He bit his lip and nodded. I pulled him into a hug that nearly crushed the breath out of him. "I'm so sorry Buddy. Oh God… Toby, I never wanted you to ever have to see something like that."

He gently removed my hands from around his body so that he could lean back and make eye contact. "It's okay Mum. Even in my dream you apologized for me having to see it, but you were right… it's all part of the job. I know I'll probably never have to see that again… So… I have to be more like you and face my fears so I can be an awesome hunter too."

The fact that his voice never cracked nor a tear threatened to fall broke my heart completely. Toby wanted to be brave and in this moment he was being more than stoic. I held his face and kissed his cheek as I marveled at how much he had grown over the past two years.

"Plus… I can actually hit the heart nearly half the time, so if I really need to put you down to save us or anything…" He playfully teased.

I pulled him close, laughing heartily. "That's very true. Remind me to keep on your good side." We shared another chuckle together and then I held his face again and asked, "But are you sure that you're okay Buddy? You're really alright with all of this?"

He nodded again then confidently replied, "I have to be if I want to be in the family business. So I'll learn new ways to deal with it, that way… Maybe I can even start traveling with Dad and we can finally hang out again."

His smile was so bright that I forced myself not to cry until I got back to my room. His grandfathers would have been so proud of him for acknowledging that at such a young age. For me, it was absolutely terrifying. He was taking all of this in stride far too easily as far as I was concerned. But… I had promised him that I would support him no matter what career he chose, so I reminded myself that I had to suck it up and do just that.

We both slept in the next morning and after having a quiet brunch it dawned on me that I should check my cell phone. Since we had spent the majority of the day out in the garage, I had been away from both of my phones which meant that I now had at least a dozen missed calls… All from the same number… With no voicemails. I instinctively checked on Toby, who was comfortable at his post behind his computer, before I dialed Dean's number.

"Hey! Sorry I missed your calls," I started apologetically.

" _Lay, I'm sorry, but… Actually this is probably the worst time in the universe for us to talk. Can we do this later?"_ Dean replied.

"Oh… So yesterday you call almost twice every hour, but now you just say 'Fuck it, it's not important'?" I countered without attempting to hide my anger as I sat down at the kitchen table.

" _No, it's not that… But Lay…"_

"Okay, good. So we're talking… NOW." I took a deep breath to steady my nerves before I recounted the tale of Toby's nightmare, practically verbatim and managed to get through it all without bursting tears.

" _Shit… Really? How's he doing now? Is he alright?"_

"Disgustingly well… I mean it's really kind of disturbing how well he's adjusting to all of this. Really it is," I retorted with a slight hint of anger. I stopped myself there because that hadn't really been what I meant to say nor the tone I had intended to use.

" _Oh… So you're not happy that he's taking to hunting life then?"_ He questioned cautiously.

"Well… To be honest, no. Once he's all trained up and ready to go, he'll up and leave me just like you did," I responded bitterly.

" _Lay, don't say that. Plus, you're the one who told me to go, remember?"_

"I only did that because as soon as I saw Sam, I knew I'd lost you. There's no way you'd ever choose me over him…" I stopped myself from saying anything else by throwing my hand over my mouth.

" _Don't say that. I only went because you wanted me to. I love you… You know that right?"_

"No… I mean… I don't know." I was now biting my knuckle, chagrinned at my own commentary.

Dean's voice broke slightly as he hoarsely asked, _"Do… do you love me?"_

"I don't know," I blurted out without giving it any thought. "I mean, come on… Other than hunting, what do we really have in common? Well… the sex is amazing, but that's not really the best thing to build a relationship on…"

" _There's Toby,"_ he cut in with an obvious hitch in his throat.

"Yeah, but he's just a product of…" I stopped myself again and after a moment of thought said, "Dean… What the hell is going on? Did you… you didn't…? You invoked 'Veritas' didn't you?"

" _Not on purpose."_

"For fuck's sake Dean! So what now? You talk to all of us, get the bastardized version of the truth that that bitch wants you to hear so that you'll kill yourself, then what? We get to grieve your death, AGAIN?"

" _Lay, don't be angry. We'll figure this out, I promise. I'll call you when the curse is cured, okay? I love you."_

"No you don't," I unconsciously replied. After I hung up the phone, I stared at it and whispered, "Fuck! I mean, I know… I love you too."

" _ **Who the hell do you think you are still calling here?" My dad questioned angrily. "Take the hint and stop calling you little punk! Like I told you before, if I ever see your face in this county… Hell this State, ever again, I'll choke the life out of you with my bare hands and then I'll…"**_

" _ **SYDNEY! Give me the phone," my Mum scolded him as she snatched it out of his hand. "Dean… Sweetheart, we need to talk."**_

" **Vicki? Is that true? Lay really doesn't want anything to do with me?"**

" _ **Dean, it's been months since you visited and…"**_

" **I know, but…"** _ **He desperately tried to interrupt.**_

" _ **No, Sweetheart please let me finish. You have to understand that she's so young… And you were her first real boyfriend… We just…" She had to pause because she could feel her own heart breaking at the same time as his. "We just think that it would be best if you let her move on."**_

" **But Vicki…"**

" _ **Please Dean? If you really love her, please, just let her go. If it's meant to be, you'll find each other again," she pleaded as tears rolled down her cheeks before she quickly hung up the phone.**_

_**Dean stared at his cell in disbelief. Had my Mum really just broken up with him on my behalf? He looked across the street from their Best Western and remembered that this Denny's had a bar attached to it.** _

_**Sam watched his brother walk into the bar with his shoulders slumped forward dejectedly. The younger Winchester just wrote off Dean's demeanor as the result of their dad having told Dean that he had to stay behind while John went on a hunt, so he turned back to his study group relatively unfazed.** _

_**Hours later, Dean emerged from the bar and ran into a bubbly brunette who had detached herself from the study group for a brief bathroom break. As Dean stumbled down the hall, he ran into her and caught her in his arms. He caught a whiff of her perfume, then inhaled the familiar scent of Calgon's Hawaiian Ginger with a sad smile.** _

" _ **See something you like?" She asked seductively.**_

_**Dean drunkenly murmured something resembling, "Yeah."** _

" _ **Well, your place or mine?" She continued while taking his hand and leading him down the hall.**_

_**Sam and his study group departed ways just as Brooke was angrily stomping away from the Impala while fighting with her jacket to get it over her t-shirt that she had put on inside out. Sam was furious with his brother because Dean had just slept with the one girl in his study group that he had finally gotten up the nerve to ask out. Sam, however, never found out that the shiner Dean sported for the next week was courtesy of Brooke's powerful right cross in response to Dean having shouted my name during his moment of climax.** _

Dean was lost in thought staring at his phone until a car whipped past him while he stood in beside the Impala. He shook his head to clear his thoughts then he hurried into the white stucco heritage building called "The Carlton" to meet Sam.

I calmly placed my phone on the table and then I gripped the quarter full bottle of wine in my right hand. Before I could register what I was doing, I picked up the bottle, threw it against the island and watched it smash into hundreds of tiny pieces as I shouted, "DAMN IT!"

"MUM!" Toby cried out worriedly, shifting my attention away from the shards of glass on the floor.

"Tobs, don't move! I don't want you to get cut."

He nodded then silently returned to the computer. I in turn cleaned up the mess that I had made without uttering another word. After the last piece of glass had been tossed into the trash, I decided to take my appetite for destruction outside. In the garage I filled every clip available for my Colt before I took aim at the target across the room. After those clips were empty, I refilled them again and continued until the target was barely visible. Luckily, my adrenaline ran out before my ammunition, so I started to take my pistol apart to clean it, but then I caught the faint scent of a fire outside.

When I got to the door, I overheard, "And why would I want to that young Tobias?"

I cursed myself for having blacked out the window on the door because I couldn't confirm with whom Toby was speaking.

"Because I'm a Winchester," Toby declared confidently. "You do that for me and you'll have a Winchester's soul in the bank."

"Hmm… That is a very interesting proposition."

Everything went eerily quiet for too long, so I threw open the door shouting, "NO! Toby! Get away from him!" Toby jumped back about a foot and then I grabbed his shoulders to turn him around so that we were face to face. "Toby! Did you kiss him?"

"What? No… Gross!" He replied making a sourpuss face.

"Toby, I'm deadly serious. That's how you seal a deal with a Crossroad's demon. Did Crowley kiss you?" I questioned frantically while shaking him gently.

"No!" He answered quickly before turning to look at the demon over his shoulder. "Gross! You didn't tell me that!"

I shoved him towards the backstairs ordering, "Get in the house, now!" I knew that Toby wouldn't disobey, so I turned my attention to the familiar, but unwelcomed face.

"Addy? Is it true?" Crowley questioned sweetly. "Did Toby just confirm what Meg already told me?"

"Meg? How?" I asked dumbly.

"Dean didn't kill her in that barn. The little bitch set that all up as a diversion so we all would think that she had perished," the demon explained not hiding his disdain for the female demon.

 _SHIT!_ Crowley's eyes lit up at my silent affirmation.

"Take me," I countered. "You can have my soul, right now… You just have to guarantee Toby's safety. No one uses him in any rituals, no one else finds out about his lineage and no one EVER makes a deal with him."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully while I took a step closer, grabbed the lapels of his suit jacket and desperately continued, "I'm not asking for ten years… Hell I don't even need a year, it's yours, now… On the spot. I won't be able to weasel my way out… Just guarantee me that and it's all yours."

He then coolly responded in a painfully slow drawl, "I'll have to think about it."

"SHIT FUCK!" I screamed at the open air after he disappeared.


	39. And the Revolution's Deafening

" _ **I'm so so so sorry Mum," Toby apologized remorsefully as soon as I walked through the backdoor. "I just… I just really… really wanted to help…" He tried to explain through his tear-filled sobs.**_

_**I pulled him into a hug and sighed heavily. While holding his cheeks in each of my hands, I started to say something, but stopped myself more than once until I finally said, "How 'bout we go and talk about it… Okay?"** _

_**He nodded as he wiped his wet face and snotty nose on his sleeve. I took his hand in mine and led him to the den. He was still having difficulties trying to calm his breathing because he was crying so profoundly, so I gave him a squeeze and sat him on the couch.** _

" _ **Stay here Toby, I'll go get you a glass of water," I explained as I patted his hand and left him alone for a couple of minutes.**_

_**When I got back to him, he gulped down half of the glass' contents and then took a few deep breaths. I wanted (so badly) to yell and scream at him about how stupid and risky it was to make a deal with a demon, but I remembered that the last time I did that, he had completely shut down on me so I tried a different approach.** _

_**We sat and stared at each other for a few minutes, waiting for the other to speak, but I broke our silence first when I saw Toby's bottom lip started to quiver. "Hey… It's alright Tobs.** _ **Obviously** _**you know my feelings about what you did… But Buddy I just really REALLY need to know why… Why would you offer to trade your soul to Crowley? What's so important that you couldn't just ask Bill, Mo or me to just buy it for you?"** _

" _ **You," he whispered without any hint of accusation or remorse. "I wanted to trade it for you."**_

" _ **ME? Why? Tobs, I have everything I need," I replied trying hard to keep an even tone because I was so stunned by his response. I took his and in mine and gave it a comforting squeeze.**_

" _ **No you don't… And I really wanted to fix that… I'm… I'm… So… S-s-or-orr-eee," he explained quickly before his tearful sobs overtook him. He lunged forward until his forehead hit my chest as he cried and my only response was to hold him tightly as I gently stroked his neck trying to ease his pain any way I could.**_

I rolled over, yet again, onto my right side trying to get into a comfortable position so that I could sleep. I couldn't stop running the conversation I had just had with Toby through my head. After what felt like forever, I finally abandoned the thought of sleep and shifted to stare at the darkness that was my ceiling. I knew that part of my unease was because I really needed to talk to Dean so that I could clear the air with him too… But he hadn't called yet, so I didn't want to risk calling him and making things worse (than I had already made them).

 _You… I wanted to trade it for you_ , Toby's sad voice echoed in my head. _You… You… For you…_

A silent tear trickled down my cheek the more I thought about what Toby had told me. I couldn't take it anymore, so I reached over and unplugged my cellphone to scroll through my contacts to Dean's name.

**Hey… You still with us?**

I figured there was no harm if Dean and I communicated via text message if he was still under Veritas' grasp.

I stared at the black screen of my phone until the tiny red indicator light blinked.

**Yeah But can't talk now**

**Oh… Okay** I started to type.

After deleting that I wrote: **Sorry to have bothered you. Really I am…**

I reread that reply through the blur of tears before I sent: **I understand. I'm sorry that I bothered you.**

After swiping my back hand across my wet eyes, I plugged my phone to recharge it and tried once again to relax back onto my pillows. I should have known that sooner or later our luck would run out again and that one of us would push the other away a little too hard. The fact that it was me wasn't all that surprising, but it didn't keep me from feeling like my heart was shattering under my ribs anyways. As I cried, I tried my best to keep the sound of my sobs as quiet as possible so that I wouldn't wake Toby.

**I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to…**

" _Hey Cas, just give me a minute okay?"_ Dean said away from the microphone piece of his cell phone. When he heard me sniffle back my tears, Dean's tone shifted to near terrified concern. _"Lay? Is everything okay? Why are you crying?"_

I snorted a large, snotty breath then replied, "When you wrote that you didn't want to talk… I was kind of worried that… You know… That you were pissed with me or something."

" _Yeah, I kinda figured that's what you were thinking from your message. But honestly, I just had my hands full when you texted me. Sorry."_

"Oh… Well okay. But, hey, if you're busy then I shouldn't bother you. I'm sure I can handle this on my own then," I replied more calmly.

"' _Handle it'? No… Seriously, it's okay. I've got a few minutes, at least, 'til Sam comes to. What's going on?"_

I sat up and fished a tissue out of my nightstand to blow my nose as I tried to compose myself. "Well… It's Toby. He overheard our conversation when you were under Veritas' spell and… He… He had some interesting theories and methods to fix the problems he thought that he overheard."

" _Shit! Really? Can I ask what happened?"_

"That damn kid is just too smart… I still don't know where he gets that from… He totally figured out that I miss being with you more than anything, so he figured that if he could get things back to how they were… Before the car accident and all… You know, for us to have our baby girl, his little sister? He figured that that way I would go back to hunting… With you… And then I wouldn't be mad at God or Castiel anymore," I explained somewhat hesitantly, but allowed myself to chuckle at the end.

" _WOW… But… Umm… How would he be able to put things back to how they were? Is he trying to build a time machine?"_

"Well… When we spent those couple of days at Bobby's place… He poked around Bobby's library, saying he was just doing research, and he… He found a ritual to locate Crowley." I stopped and swallowed hard, petrified how Dean would react. When he didn't jump in with any questions, I continued, "So… He got all of the ingredients together… On his own somehow… And then he summoned Crowley and offered up his soul for me… Us. Toby figured that ten years would be long enough for him to teach his little sister everything important that she would need to know and that he would have some time to hunt with us too."

" _JESUS… Shit… Sorry Cas, I didn't… Umm… Lay, what was he thinking?"_

"Like father, like son," I teased lovingly. "He really hates the thought of us fighting… Even if it is my fault… And he was willing to take more than drastic measures to keep that from happening again. But I don't want you to worry, he and I talked about it until we were practically blue in the face and then we made up a few hex bags for him to carry… They should keep him hidden from any demons. I'm more than certain that he's seen the error of his way now, but I want you to know about it… Just in case he brings it up… I just… I didn't want you to be blindsided and all."

" _Huh… Yeah…"_ He answered sounding completely at a loss for words. _"Wow."_

"Okay, I think that I've overwhelmed you. Sorry… But everything's okay though, really… So… What is that you have your hands full with over there?"

" _Sam,"_ Dean replied slowly. _"He finally admitted that there's something wrong with him… And there really is Lay… He lied to me… Right to my fucking face, even when I was cursed! So, Cas is here to help me run a diagnostic on him."_

"Wow…" We both chuckled at how each of us sounded so much alike. "But, Dean? Just try to keep in mind that he's your brother, not your car… Things WILL be more complicated. Is there anything we can do to help?"

" _Nah… So long as you're still helping Bobby with all the research to figure out how Sam got out."_

"What? You… You know about that?"

" _Yeah, Bobby let it slip out yesterday. Thanks by the way. It means a lot."_

"No worries Dean, that's what family's for. Let me know what you guys find out and if we can help in any other way… I love you Dean."

I held my breath while I awaited his response. _"You're sure about that?"_ He finally asked with a humble, quiet tone.

"YES! Dean… Before… I was angry… Well, I was upset about feeling left behind. So, the 'honesty' you got from me was veiled by those feelings. She made me just want to hurt you like I thought I felt that you had hurt me… Everything came out so fucked up and out of context. I LOVE you, really… Truly…"

" _Madly? Deeply?"_

"Dean, please, don't make jokes right now. I really need you to hear me… You were so right, I did tell you to go, with good reason, so I have no right to be upset… And… And I'm not… well not really… But I just miss you so much sometimes that it hurts too damned much… But I shouldn't have taken it out on you, not like that. I'm so sorry Dean. I really do love you… So much. Really I do."

" _I love you too Lay. And I know… I mean, I get it, really I do. Once Cas and I are done here, I promise that I'll come home for a visit, okay?"_

"Okay… BUT only if you have the time to and all… Don't… I mean, if there's a job or something… You know… Umm… Take care of that first because that's more important, alright?"

" _Alright… But I don't think anything more important could come up… Shit… Sorry, it looks like he's coming to, so I've gotta go, but I'll see you soon."_

After hanging up the phone, I somehow found myself at Toby's door. He used to sleep like the dead and nothing could wake him, but somehow he trained himself to become a light sleeper. I still hadn't grown used to this new trait, so I jumped a little when I heard, "Are you okay Mum?"

"Yeah Buddy I'm good… I just talked with Dean and I had an uncontrollable urge to check on you."

"Really?" He shifted over on the bed and pulled back his covers as a silent invitation to join him. "What did he have to say?"

"He's going to try to visit really soon."

"Good! He's been away way too long," he replied as he nuzzled into my side. "Right Mum? Mum?" He questioned when I didn't reply. He was going to shake me, but he had felt that my grip had slackened, so he correctly assumed that I was sleeping and didn't do anything to disturb me.

" **Roo, where are you? I just talked with Sister Mary Catherine and she said that you left there two days ago?"** _ **My Mum asked as I pulled into the parking lot of a 'Red Roof Inn' just outside of Cincinnati, Ohio.**_

" _ **I'm in Cincy Mum. I'm soo sorry I didn't call, but I caught wind of a case in Eerie, Pennsylvania… EERIE!" I practically shouted because of my excitement. "How awesome is that?"**_

_**She laughed and I could practically see her head shaking as she replied,** _ **"It is pretty awesome Roo. I know how much you've wanted to work a case there… Since you were ten if my memory serves correctly. What do you have going on there?"**

" _ **It's really kind of boring, just a nasty spirit. No big… But, what's up Mum? Why were you looking for me?"**_

_**When I had first heard her voice, I had the distinct impression that she had been crying so I wanted to make sure to shift the conversation back to her as soon as possible.** _

" **I tried to call a few days ago, but you were… Well… Unavailable,"** _ **she explained awkwardly. I didn't really know how to reply, so I just laughed uncomfortably.**_ **"I was going to drive out there because I really didn't want to do this over the phone, but you up and left there a lot quicker than I thought you would…"**

" _ **Sorry Mummy… I just…"**_

" **It's okay Roo… Anyway… If you're ready, I have some bad news… About Poppy…"** _ **Her voice started to crack and my own sunny demeanor that I had put on for her benefit broke as well.**_

" _ **I know Mum," I admitted sheepishly. "Sister Mary Catherine told me… She also said that Dad was having the funeral the very next day. I tried to make it home, but the doctor wouldn't let me leave… He said that I had to rest at least one full day before leaving… So after a day when I found this job, I just figured that I could do a quick 'salt and burn' job, get my feelings about Poppy together on my own, and then I would be ready to talk with you."**_

" **Roo… My beautiful baby… I just wish that you would have come straight home… I miss you something terrible… But, no drama… I understand. I also wanted you to know that they'll be reading Poppy's Will the day after tomorrow. I hope you can make it back for then… And… If you need to talk before you…"**

" _ **I'll be home… And I'll call, I promise Mum. I'll call you once this is done, okay? I just… Just… Need some time to think, y'know?"**_

" **Yes… Okay… But… One more thing Roo?"**

_**I could hear the hint of a smile in her voice, so my heart started to swell with joy.** _

" _ **Yeah Mum… Anything… What's up?"**_

" **I visited with Maureen today…Your little Joey… He… He has me absolutely Gob smacked he's so beautiful."**

" _ **Thanks Mum… But he's not MY 'Joey'; he's Uncle Bill's and Auntie Mo's…. And yeah I think he's gonna be a looker just like…" I trailed off with my thoughts of Toby's biological father. "He hasn't called the house again, has he?"**_

" **No… Not since the day you left,"** _ **she lied. (Dean had in fact tried once more the day after I had left the house.)**_ **"But enough about that unpleasantness… Maureen was telling me that you had offered to help with babysitting and such?"**

" _ **Yeah… I figured that they're our family, right? So, I can be like his big sister… He's theirs, I know that, but I still need to make sure that he's safe," I told her with a somewhat strange and detached tone.**_

" **I know you do, Roo. I love you immensely… I'll see you soon… We can even go and visit Poppy when you first get back, sound good?"**

" _ **Sounds perfect Mum. I love you too!"**_

_**I looked over at the office of the motel and decided that I really wasn't tired at all. Instead I drove straight through to Eerie and slept at a rest stop during the day. That night I quickly found the grave of the pesky spirit and vanquished it without any further interruptions. When I called the homeowners, they were shocked that I was able to take care of their problem so quickly and were not at all ashamed to hide their disappointment when I refused to stop by to claim a reward. I figured that they would be better off to use their money to pay for their daughters' inevitable therapy bills** _

_**After another quick nap, I hit the road in the hopes that I could make it home in time for the reading of Poppy's Will. I called my Mum when I got to the Iowa border and we met at the cemetery. There I finally had a chance to say 'Good-Bye' to my Poppy. Since I had grown up in the 'Family Business', I knew he couldn't actually hear me, but I felt a strange wave of peaceful relief wash over me after I did say my final farewell.** _

_**Mum and I arrived together at the lawyer's office and my dad looked beyond shocked to see me there. Thankfully my Mum was able to get him in a more pleasant mood easily and he took a moment to look at me closely. His face immediately softened slightly when he realized that I was no longer 'with child' (as he liked to call it until I figured out a way to take care of the situation). But that sentiment was short-lived because Sydney went into a near murderous rage when he heard that his father had left everything except for the house we lived in and a generous lump sum of money to me. I was given the majority of his fortune, as well as a few lucrative properties he had owned that were rented out and were earning a healthy wage… That meant that I would never have to work another day in my life if I chose not to…** _

I woke up with a smile on my face, but it was still dark so I just tried to fall back asleep. Toby had shifted further onto his side of the bed and I tried my best not to disturb him. After rolling over a few times, I heard a soft, "Bad dream Mum?"

"No, not really," I replied flipping over onto my left side to look at him. "Hey… Have I ever told you about the day you were born?"

He moved a bit closer so that I could pet his face easily and he was beaming as he said, "No… Actually no one really has. Mom has always been really vague and just said that the moment she first held me in her arms, she felt like God had truly blessed her."

"He blessed all of us," I confirmed, combing my fingers through his hair. "Well… Here goes then… I was out at Our Lady of Mercy convent when I had you and after you were born I got some of the worst news I've ever gotten in my life… But you… You saved me from falling into a horrible depression.

"I did? How? What was the news?"

"My Poppy, your Great Granddad, he passed away early in the morning the day you were born and my mum tried to call as soon as she found out… But I had gone into labor by that afternoon, so I couldn't get her call. Lucky for me, you, my little man, were an easy baby from the get go and you didn't draw out the whole ordeal…"

"Muuummm…" Toby was quick to interrupt that narration because it focused too much on him when he wanted to hear about my feelings. I brushed the back of my fingers across one of his cheeks and I could feel that it was burning hot.

"Don't be embarrassed Buddy, it honestly was just a compliment… You really weren't a fussy baby at all… Anyways, Mo and Bill were there eagerly anticipating meeting you and they gave Sister Mary Catherine the bad news. She waited until after I had had a nap to tell me and all that I wanted to do at that moment was curl up into a ball and die… But then your parents brought you in to say goodbye… Buddy, the only tears I shed that day were tears of pure joy because you three looked so perfect together and so happy…"

"Even me? What was I? Like two hours old?" He joked.

I leaned over and tickled him replying with a mocking but humorous tone, "Yes you too, even though you were only like two hours old!"

After a few minutes of laughter, we both settled back on your sides smiling at each other. "But seriously Buddy, before your parents left with you, they told me the name they had chosen and my heart… It almost hurt because of how happy I felt."

He couldn't hide his excitement about all the new information he was learning, so he continued to take advantage of my sharing mood to find out as much as he could. "Why? Because my names are kind of blah Mum. So what if they named me after their dads?"

I laughed out loud and pulled him close. "Because that's not the only reason they chose that name for you…"

"Really?" He inadvertently interrupted. "Sorry Mum."

"It's okay Buddy… But yeah, really. I know I told you about that one hunter that I used to help a lot… The one that worked with my Mum and Sydney when they were alive, you remember him?"

Toby's forehead crinkled while he thought back to those stories so he could search for the name. "Je… John something, right? Umm… I don't remember his last name."

"That's okay… I never told you it," I replied as I gently pinched his ribs. "But, it was John… John Winchester… Dean's dad."

"WHAT?" He practically shouted as he sat up on the bed. "Okay… Whoa! The guy you helped on some of your coolest cases… That… That…"

"Was your Granddad," I finished as I sat up and shifted so we were looking at each other under the soft light Toby had turned on.

"Wow! So 'Jonathan' is for Mom and Dad's dads, but 'Tobias'… That's Pop's dad's name, not yours."

"Poppy's name was 'Tobias'," I added simply while taking his hand and held it in both of mine.

"And they say that babies born on the same day that a loved one passes…" he started to say, but stopped when our eyes locked.

"I'd like to think that's true because he always made me feel so loved and safe and you… You've made me feel so loved and so strong Buddy."

He leaned forward and hugged me tightly, "That's because you are Mum."

I didn't want to end the night in tears, so I patted his back and said, "Thanks… Alright, it's late. I should let you sleep."

"Yeah, you really should," he teased before kissing my cheek. "But before we go back to bed… Thanks Mum. Part of the reason why I was so upset last year was because I felt like my whole life had been a lie… Like I had no idea who I was and all… So thank you for telling about that, it means a lot."

I was shocked to hear that, but I could completely understand his sentiment, so I hugged him once again saying, "You are more than welcome Toby. I promise anything else you want to know, just ask… But not until after we've had a good night's sleep."

"Deal! Thanks Mum."

He settled back onto his side of the bed and fell asleep quickly. I couldn't seem to get comfortable, so I slipped out of Toby's room without disturbing him somehow.

Over the next couple of weeks Toby continued to come over sporadically after school to help with research and to grill me about his childhood. After talking with Dean about one case, Toby decided that he never wanted to meet a Skin walker… Ever. He also stopped asking Maureen and Bill to buy him a pet dog.

Toby slipped his backpack onto his shoulder while talking with his friends at the front steps of the school. They were all hurrying down the stairs towards the school bus, but Toby stood frozen at the top of the stairs. He thought that he had caught a glimpse of something in the corner of his eye that was more important.

"Dad?" He questioned quietly.

Dean then saw Toby as well, so he stepped out of the driver's side and walked around to the passenger's door to meet the young teen.

"Dad! DAD!" Toby shouted as if Dean might not have seen him there yet as he ran towards the Impala. "Dad! You're here!"

Dean's arms were outstretched to Toby by the time his son hit the sidewalk. As they wrapped each other in a hug (neither one caring what anyone might think about their public display of affection) he replied, "Yep, I sure am."

Toby stepped back and said, "You got here a lot sooner than Mum said you would. She thought that you might have another job to take care of first."

Dean nodded, opened the door for Toby and guided him to his seat. "Yeah, your Uncle Sam would basically hunt non-stop if I let him, but I promised Lay that I would visit when I could, so here I am."

"Awesome! Mum's going to be so stoked!"

Dean smiled brightly as he ease his car through the after school crowd. "Good to hear. So… Anything new I should know about?"

"Since last night?" The teen chuckled with a snort. "No, nothing… Except…"

Toby drew out the word 'except' almost painfully, so Dean quickly jumped in, "Except what?"

"Except… You're here!" Toby exclaimed excitedly. "Oh crap! I should call Mom and Pop so they don't worry." Toby interjected as he pulled out his cell phone.

Dean reached over and squeezed his shoulder praising, "That's my boy."

Dean had barely stopped the Impala, let alone gotten it into 'Park' before Toby jumped out, leaving his back pack on the floor. Dean watched him as Toby sprinted up the back stairs and continued through the unlocked kitchen door. He could tell that I was home because both the Yukon and my GTO were safely parked in the yard, so he didn't worry about the house being insecure.

He was still laughing softly while carrying Toby's backpack in one hand when he reached the kitchen door. He didn't quicken his pace because he anticipated that I would be dragged through the house to him in no time by our excitable son. He was just gently placing Toby's bag at the breakfast nook when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck tingle and stand up on end.

Then he heard Toby's terrified and frantic cries of "Mum! MUM! Wake up!"


	40. It's Too Much Pressure, I'll Only Let You Down Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a change in POV for this chapter. Hope it makes sense why it was done once you read it and that it doesn't bother you too much

Dean heard Toby's frantic cries of "Mum! MUM! Wake up!" and he was at his son's side in an instant.

Toby's hands maintained a vice like grip on his mother's shoulders as he pleaded, "Please Mum, wake up! Wake up!"

Dean recognized the look on her face right away. It was one that he had been telling his younger brother to ignore from the age of ten until manhood. It was one that he had put on too many faces over the past twenty years. It was a face that he had worn more than once. _No Sammy, Dad had to do it… It'll be okay_ echoed in his mind as he kneeled beside her.

"Toby… Buddy… I need you to go and call 911," Dean instructed calmly as he pulled his son off his mother's body. "Tell them we need an ambulance, alright?"

Toby nodded slowly, then after his dad's words sunk in, he scooped up the phone and followed his orders without complaint.

Dean tilted her head back to open her airway before puffing in a few breaths into her mouth and started what little CPR that he knew. Over the years, he had learned how to stitch a wound with expert precision, but the fine art of CPR still eluded him somewhat. He knew that the basic idea had something to do with breathing for the person and forcing their lungs to move, so he tried his best to mimic those motions.

"I don't know… Well, she was in a pretty bad car accident a little while ago… No, my Dad's doing CPR… I'm not sure… No, I mean, I don't know," Toby told the person on the other end of the line while he was trying to stay calm… Trying to prove to his father that he was as brave as him… That he too could be a hunter.

"Come on Lay, don't leave me… Come on… Come back to us… Please, we need you," Dean repeated over and over.

"The ambulance is on the way," Toby informed Dean just barely over a whisper. "Can I do anything else to help?"

Dean paused briefly to turn his attention to the teen behind him. "Can you do a sweep of the main floor for me? You know, make sure that nothing from the family business is out to tip anyone off?"

Unlike any other time that he had been forced to talk with the police in earnest, Dean knew that there was no need to hide who they really were… The Sheriff here was well aware of their dealings with the supernatural (and Dean knew that if Lay was involved, Don would be sure to attend the scene in a heartbeat), but he needed to keep Toby busy right now. He didn't want reality to set in for either of them yet, so keeping Toby out of the living room was at the top of the list of his priorities.

Dean pressed his index and middle fingers to Addy's throat, just under her jaw bone and drew in a stuttered breath before going back to work. Time felt like it had stopped while he continued the routine of a deep breath into her mouth, five pumps on her chest, deep breath, five pumps, while pleading (silently and aloud) for her to wake up and not to leave him… Ever. He didn't hear the knock at the door and only stopped when the gloved hand of a paramedic stilled his motions. He then stood up and took a step back beside Toby as they watched the attendants took over.

"It's all my fault," Toby quietly admitted to Dean with guilt dripping off of every word.

Dean took him by the shoulders and turned him away from the scene on the floor and in a hushed tone replied, "No, it's not Toby. I promise you, you didn't do this."

"Yes it is Dad! She offered her soul to Crowley to keep me safe!" Toby nearly shouted. "I did this to her!"

Dean quickly grabbed him by the hand and dragged his son into the kitchen, desperately hoping that the paramedics hadn't overheard Toby's outburst. Tears were now streaming down Toby's cheeks so Dean passed him a couple of tissues before saying anything. While Dean steadied himself enough to speak, Toby shrunk back with a terrified look on his face.

"Toby, you didn't do this… It's NOT your fault," Dean explained as calmly as he could even though he was incensed that his son blamed himself.

"Yes! Yes I did! Why else would she…? Would she…?"

Dean grabbed a few more tissues and dried Toby's cheeks then continued, "There's no way this is because of a deal okay? Trust me, you are NOT to blame."

Toby took in a few choppy breaths then asked, "How? How can you be so sure?"

"There' no evidence of hell hounds. If there had of been a deal, Crowley would have sent hell hounds to collect her soul," Dean elaborated as if he was talking to Toby about any random case and his mother.

The teen continued to hyperventilate as the flow of tears nearly became a river. Dean pulled Toby into a hug and rubbed his back trying to comfort him in any way that he could. Inside Dean felt like a part of him was being ripped to shreds, but he knew he had to be strong for Toby. He couldn't let what he saw affect him… Not in front of his son.

"So what did it to her?" Toby asked once he had caught his breath.

"That's the first thing I intend to find out," a voice answered from the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

Dean maintained a stronghold on his offspring and turned to face the newcomer. He tried his hardest to keep his face expressionless, so he refrained from responding.

"They're loading her into the ambulance right now. I can have a deputy drive you there if you'd like," the Sheriff explained courteously.

"Thanks Don, but I can drive myself." Dean then turned his attention to Toby. "Go grab your backpack and I'll take you home, okay?"

"But… But I want to stay with you Dad," the youngest Winchester protested.

"I know you do Buddy, but there's really nothing either of us can do right now… It would be better if you wait it out with Bill and Mo and try to get some rest."

Toby wanted to argue, to find a way to convince his father to let him stay, but he just didn't have the strength right now. Instead he turned and did what he was instructed to do. When Toby reached the back door, Dean took out his keys and tossed them to his son. Toby knew that that was Dean's way of silently directing him to wait outside in t the car.

Don stepped up beside Dean and quietly said, "They were able to get a faint pulse…"

Dean turned and glared at the Sheriff, but he let his animosity fade away quickly and quietly replied, "Thanks. I should get to her."

"I'll lock up for you," Don offered picking up Addy's keys from their place on the island.

Dean nodded and smiled faintly before exiting the house. He didn't mean to be cold to his son in his time of need, but he remained completely mute during the ride to the Connor's house. He didn't know what to say to Toby to make him feel better, so he offered him silence instead empty lies that couldn't even comfort himself right now.

Maureen saw the Impala approaching while she vacuumed the living room and she rushed to meet them at the door. She waited on the top step with a bright smile on her face, but it instantly disappeared when she saw Toby's bloodshot, puffy eyes. He tried to rush into the house, but she caught him by the arm and attempted to pull him into a hug. Toby felt his tears starting to fall with a renewed vigor, so he shook her off then ran to his room without saying a word.

Dean was waiting on the stairs when Maureen turned away from the house. She held his face in her hands and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

"It's Lay… When Toby and I got home, he found her…" Dean tried to explain without letting his emotions betray him.

"Oh my goodness! What happened? Is she…?"

"We don't know. They've rushed her to the hospital, but it doesn't look good Mo… I think we've lost her," Dean reluctantly explained. "I've lost her."

They both tried to remain stoic, but Dean broke down once Maureen had him trapped in a warm embrace. They both let silent tears fall and be absorbed by their companion's clothing out on the front stairs. Both were content enough to stay out on the stairs comforting each other, but they were brought out of their world by the sound of the phone ringing.

Reluctantly Maureen released Dean and walked into the house to answer it just in case it was someone from the hospital with news. He followed her and slipped into the bathroom to retrieve some tissues and wash his face. His breath got caught in his throat while he stared at himself in the mirror because he could feel her there. She had repainted practically every room in the house when she wanted to make it her home for a period of time. Even today her essence oozed out of the décor.

When he finally extracted himself from the small room, he paused for a moment at Toby's bedroom door. There he could hear that Toby was crying, so he left his son alone… At least for now. He wanted to give Toby time to sort through his emotions before bombarding him with the usual rhetoric that he would offer so that they could try to continue on without her.

"Thank you Bea… No… No, not right now, but thanks… Really it's okay," Maureen said before hanging up the phone.

She gave Dean a sad smile then explained, "Small towns… News travels fast… Bill's on his way home from the office right now."

Dean chuckled softly. "I should head over to the hospital now. I'll call if there's anything new to tell you."

Maureen gently grabbed his arm then gave him a quick hug. "We're here to help, please don't forget that Dean."

"I won't, promise… But, I think that right now I just have to start making arrangements and all…"

She squeezed his arm as she replied, "Adelaide didn't tell you? All of that has been taken care of Sweetheart. When I was in the hospital, she and Bill finalized everything for me and she made arrangements for herself as well. She had had a hard time planning out everything for Vicki and she wanted to be sure it would be easier for all of us if she too passed prematurely."

Dean cracked a brief smile. "That's my girl. Well… Alright… I should just go and check on her then. I'll let you know about any changes or updates."

There was little improvement in her condition when Dean arrived at the ICU. She had a weak heartbeat, but was only breathing with the aid of a machine. The doctor explained that something had caused her heart to stop and she had hit her head hard on the ground when she passed out. They were still looking for the cause, but had no answers yet. They wanted to keep her quarantined just in case it was caused by a virus, so the doctor suggested that Dean go home to rest until they had any news.

He hated hospitals, so he took the doctor's advice of leaving to heart. He lingered at her room's window wishing he didn't have to go, but he knew there was nothing he could do there, so he begrudgingly left. On the drive to her house, Dean called to give Maureen the latest update… Meager as it was. Maureen suggested that he stay with them, but Dean declined as cordially as possible. He needed to be alone right now to sort all of his thoughts and feelings out, but first he wanted to break into a bottle of any alcohol that would help to numb the pain until he passed out.

He got a quarter of the way through the bottle when he decided to start snooping through her book shelves. He felt mildly guilty about the intrusion, but he needed to find something of hers so that he could feel close to her again. In the den he easily found a box full of books and other knick knacks from her youth that he assumed she had planned on taking down to the cellar or out to the garage for safe keeping.

He plucked out a yearbook and a couple of journals that weren't labeled before refilling his glass and making himself comfortable on the couch. Addy had always told him that she had felt like a total outsider during her high school years because hunting had prohibited her from participating in any after school activities. It also caused her to be secretive and that put up more walls between her and her classmates than anything else could.

He flipped the yearbook open and was mildly surprised to see that the first two pages were blank except for the neat inscription of _"Addy Jones"_ under the phrase "THIS BOOK BELONGS TO:". He gently stroked the ink and smiled to himself at the memory of all the times they did research together and how she would give him hell for his sloppy penmanship.

_Dean! If we can't read the incantation then it's no good to us! Pass it over here._

He continued to flip through the pages until he found the only photo of her in the book. After staring at it long enough that he practically had it memorized, Dean continued through the pages. Near the back of the book, there were a few random "HAVE A GREAT SUMMER"s on the pages, but nothing else overly personal. On the back cover he found the only message that was personalized and more than one sentence.

" **HEY ADS! Hope you don't have to travel so much this summer. We should hang out more because you totally rock! I'll call you! And I know you told me about that other guy, but seriously I'm here for you… Never forget how much I care about you! *heart* Don"**

"Man, even when she told you to back off," Dean grumbled out loud as he slammed the book closed.

He drained his glass then refilled it again as he reached for one of her journals. On the title paged it was labeled simply "1997-1998".

 _Hmm… I wonder what she said about me,_ he thought to himself with a huge Cheshire cat grin on his face.

" **Dec. 12, 1997  
OH MY GOD! What an awesome night! First, I showed all of them that I'm not a liar! Fucking bitch had to pick her jaw up off the floor when I walked in on Dean's arm. Not that she apologized or anything. She's probably telling everyone that I paid him to go with me or that he's my cousin or something. But whatever as soon as summer hits I'm out of here! So who really gives a fuck right? I'll get to travel with Dean killing everything that we find and then I'll never have to deal with them again. BONUS? I can finally get away from my dad too! Everything is going to be so much better! I'll miss Mum of course, but I'll never have to be around Dad again, so it'll be worth it.  
God I love him SO much! That's right! Me! Addy Jones, ghost hunting freak is in love! And he loves me too! Now I know that Mum told me not to rush into anything with him because, well… He's a hunter and she thinks that he's a womanizer. But I know better! Last night proved it! I ****KNOW** **that one day he'll ask me to be Mrs. Dean Winchester."**

Dean groaned at the thought of how all of that had actually turned out. He hesitated for a minute before he turned the pages to read for himself how Addy had felt during their time apart and how her feelings had changed about him.

" **Sept 2 '98**  
 **God why can't you just let me die? SERIOUSLY! I'm like 1000 pounds and Dean doesn't even want to have anything to do me. Dad's so pissed off all the time. I swear he just looks like he wants to deck me all the time. Mum must be going crazy trying to keep the peace between us.**  
 **When we talk now, she gets this really sad look in her eye and I know it's because she's so disappointed in me because I promised her that I wouldn't go too fast with him and that I'm too young to be in love. And now I'm stuck with a baby. A BABY! God just kill me now! Put me out of my misery!**  
 **I thought about taking over that hunt Bobby called Mum about because maybe that would solve all of my problems… Yeah a werewolf could take me out easily… At least then I'd have something to blame this gash on my wrist on…"**

Dean had some difficulties reading the entry because a lot of the ink had been smudged by what Dean could only assume were tears. He felt a few of his own tears slide down his cheeks as he read the words.

_Lay wanted to kill herself? But I thought everything went smoothly._

There were a few more pages riddled with tears and hard to read writing, so Dean skipped over most of them because the words were too hard to decipher. Before continuing, he got up and poured yet another glass full and swallowed it down quickly.

" **Sept 23, 1998**  
 **Can I blame the last three weeks on hormones? I can, right?**  
 **Mum came by today… With John. *GROAN* He knows now, BUT he promised that he won't tell Dean. I think I can trust him.**  
 **And I'm pretty sure that Sister MC is my own personal guardian angel now. She's helped me so so so so SOOOO SO much to figure everything out.**  
 **Now I just have to call Auntie Mo. Mum's certain that they'll say 'Yes', but I still don't know. God I hope they do because then I can just go back to my real life, be me again and forget that any of this ever happened."**

"Vicki went by with Dad?" Dean questioned out loud. "Dad knew?"

Dean sat and thought back to that time period and recalled how some of the things his dad had said to him back then about responsibility. Now a lot of it made a lot more sense. Dean had always assumed that John was referring to being careless in the field or for not watching out for Sam, but now he could only assume that his dad was referring to Addy and the baby. He laughed a little to himself and forgot about any anger because really what good was it to be mad at someone that was dead (let alone the person who traded their life for yours).

Now Dean was even more curious. What else hadn't Addy (or his father) told him about? What other secrets would Addy's journal reveal? He braced himself for more revelations by emptying his glass two more times and then opened the second journal. It was simply titled "2003".

Past the halfway point of the book, he found what he was he was confident that he was looking for.

" **Sept 4, 2003  
** **Toby's first day of school… Wow! I actually made it home thanks to John. Turns out he was working the same case that I was… With Dean and Sydney. God, Sydney. Not exactly how I expected to see him for the first time after three years of avoiding each other. But man did it feel good to be… Well to be defiant really. Yeah… He saw me saying goodbye to my random hook up du jour… In my underwear. *BLUSH* BUT! Oh the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS! He was SO stunned. I should've just decked him and knocked him flat on his ass! Should've but didn't.**

**But whatever… I was able to pass everything off to John so that I could make it back home in time to see Toby off to school. Man, he's gotten so big so fast! I seriously don't know what came over me, but I even showed John a picture of Toby. I probably shouldn't have, but I did. I think I saw tears in his eyes. And God Toby looks so much like Dean now.  
Dean… Yeah he's been taking good care of himself and is looking pretty damn good."**

Dean remembered that job. He and Sydney had gone out to check for any records at the library at John's insistence. When they got back to the room, his dad had a mysterious manila file folder that had all of the information that they needed to complete the job. John had never told him where it came from, but he should have recognized the writing and figured it out. After that job was done, John took off and they didn't see each other for over a month. Dean always felt like there was something that jacked up the tension in their relationship at that time, but Dean had just written it off as John's usual moodiness.

He continued to flip through the pages, still stunned by the words that he had read. He was standing by the box again and was just about to liberate a few more journals when he was halted by the sound of the doorbell. As he straightened himself upright, held onto his Saint Hubert medallion tightly because his sixth sense was tingling again… Or maybe it was just the booze kicking in.

He opened the door very slowly and was greeted by the Sheriff who was wearing the same sad expression he had worn the day he broke the news of Addy's accident to Dean. Before Don could speak, Dean nodded and gestured for him to come in. He secretly hoped that not actually hearing the news would mean that he could find a way to fix it.

"I stopped by the Connors on the way over… Maureen said that she'd call your friend Bobby for you," Dean explained quietly. "They'll be doing the autopsy in the morning and then will release her to you all the day after tomorrow I suspect."

Dean remained mute and nodded almost absentmindedly.

"I'm really sorry for your loss Dean… Umm… Did you want me to call anyone else for you?" The Sheriff asked somewhat awkwardly.

Dean shook his head and offered a soft grin. "No, but thanks. Hey… I'm sorry for your loss too… I know you two were… you know… Uhh…Can I offer you a drink?"

The Sheriff shook his head as he stood up and started for the door. "Thanks, but no. I'm still on duty. Let me know if I can help with anything else."

Dean remained seated in the living room as he watched Don leave. After a few minutes, he felt something hit the front of his shirt. When he looked down to investigate, he found a few droplets of blood that had dripped from his hand. He had been gripping his medallion so tightly that it had punctured the skin on his palm. Even though he could see the damage, he still felt completely numb.

True to Maureen's word, everything went smoothly with the arrangements that Addy had made. The family had anticipated a small gathering when they laid her ashes to rest between her mother and grandfather, but they had underestimated how loved she (and her extended family) were by the community. After everything was finally wrapped up at the cemetery, Dean remained behind with Toby so that they could have a moment alone with her. Toby kneeled down and tucked her St. Hubert medallion under a tuft of grass by her tombstone.

He was gently stroking the inscription "A LONE PAIR OF WATCHFUL EYES OVERSEE THE LIVING" as he asked, "Dad? Mum was going to take me on my first hunt this summer… Can… Can I maybe go with you?"

Toby was now standing, so Dean wrapped his arm around his son's shoulders and pulled him close, "Once school's out, we'll see okay?"

"Sure… You'll still visit, right?" Toby asked with an unsure, teary tone.

Dean stopped in his tracks and held Toby by the shoulders so that he was looking him in the eye. "Of course I will. Toby, you're… You're my son, my flesh and blood… Do you seriously think that I won't visit you? And when I can't be here, you better believe I'll be expecting regular updates, understand?"

Toby nodded and smiled sadly. "Yes sir… I uhh… I think I found a case for you and Uncle Sam."

Dean pulled Toby into a crushing hug then chuckled asking, "Are you trying to get rid of me already?"

The younger male stepped out of his father's arms and with a terrified look on his face replied, "NO! It's not that… Mum… She… She always said that a good hunt helped her to work through her grief, so I… I just thought…"

When Toby trailed off, Dean wrapped his arm around Toby's shoulders and tried to console him saying, "I was teasing you Buddy. Thanks, and you're totally right, a hunt might help. But let's just forget about that today. You can tell us all about it tomorrow, alright?"

It was no shock to Dean that Sam had found the same patterns that Toby had and the next afternoon they were on their way to Elwood, Indiana. The youngest Winchester was as eager as Sam to do research and ended up finding job after job for his father and uncle to complete. Sam would take whatever information Toby had dug up so that he and Dean could focus on finding Alphas for Crowley.

  
***********************************************************************************************************************************************

Crowley stood up while simultaneously tossing Ruby's knife into the ceiling to break the Devil's Trap. Feeling the restraint on his powers release, he happily commented "That's better" before throwing Sam and Dean onto opposite sides of the room and pinning them to the walls. He coaxed the knife out of the ceiling then held the point to Meg's face after she was standing upright again.

"You don't know torture you little insect," Crowley growled at Meg.

"Leave them alone," Castiel commanded after appearing behind Crowley.

"Castiel… Haven't seen you all season, you're the cavalry now?" Crowley questioned without attempting to hide his humorous mocking tone.

"Put the knife down," Castiel continued while completely ignoring Crowley's commentary.

"You that bossy in heaven? I hear you're losing to Raphael… The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby… Hey? What's in the gift bag?"

Castiel pulled out a skull then pointedly replied, "You."

Crowley sneered and retorted, "Not possible."

"You didn't hide your bones as well as you should have," the angel commented smugly.

The demon cocked his head to one side and clapped his hands slowly. "Cookie for you."

Castiel then tossed the sack onto the floor demanding, "Can you restore Sam's soul or not?"

Crowley snapped his fingers to release Sam and Dean. He then looked between the three men saying, "If I can help in any other way…"

"ANSWER HIM!" Dean interrupted angrily.

"I can't… Not Sam's but…" The demon raised an eyebrow suggestively and turned his full attention to Dean. "There's always your dear, sweet Adelaide."

"What? Fuck you, we cremated her, so there's no way you have her," Dean shot back while restraining himself from striking the demon.

"No, you didn't," Crowley replied with a satisfied tone that made Dean's skin crawl.

Dean turned his back on everyone in the room while he weighed out his options. He refused to believe Crowley and patted Castiel's shoulder quietly saying, "He's lying… She's gone…Just…just do it Cas."

With that, Castiel waved his left hand and set Crowley's bones on fire, reducing the demon to ashes.

_EARLIER THAT DAY_

When she woke up, her nose was assaulted with the unmistakable smell of decay, sulfur, fire and desperation. Her shoulders felt like they had been impaled on a rusty hook and she was somehow being held upright.

Before opening her eyes she absentmindedly mumbled, "What the…?"

"Adelaide… Lovely to have you back with us," Crowley replied as he stepped forward and tucked her hair behind her ears.

Addy's head shot up at the sound of the demon's voice but she couldn't move away from him because she found that all her limbs had been restrained.

"Yeah… 'The Rack' isn't just a metaphor," he coolly informed her.

"What the hell? How'd…?"

"Exactly my dear. What were you thinking trying to weasel out of our deal?" The demon questioned with the slightest hint of anger. The terror in her eyes was the only response she could muster before he continued, "You didn't think I would know that you instructed the funeral home to salt your body before they burned… I mean cremated you?" He had started pacing in front of her as he spoke. "But not to worry, your family got some poor sap's ashes to bury with your mommy and grand pappy."

She stared at him in absolute disbelief before hoarsely replying, "I wasn't trying… I was going to change that, but you just dropped in… I really wasn't going to welch on our deal."

"Oh I'm sure you did." He looked at her with pure disdain. "No mind though, I planned on having a little fun with you either way… But first I have to have a little chat with a chap that's decided that it would serve him well to steal my face... So I'll just leave you with a friend of mine." The demon leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "He's Pacer's replacement and has even more fun with the job."

By the time the name of the demon that had ravished her body registered, Crowley had disappeared. Who could be worse that him? After she lifted her head to see the face of the person to whom Crowley referred, she gasped, "Sydney?"

_**End** _


End file.
